Best Pickup Lines: Two Funny Ones to Try

[Cyrus]

"My FICO score is 850 and I drive a Porsche. Would you like to go for some champagne on my yacht?"

That line .. yea.. that very line.. if all elements are true, it works

Allow me to show you the flaw in that line. (a) You're in a really upscale bar. Guess what, you and almost every other guy in there has a Porsche and yacht. Woop-de-do. (b) you're not in an upscale bar, in which case why are you wasting your time scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Just a thought... throwing money around doesn't work. Never. If you're with people without money they resent that. If your with people that do have money, chances are one of them there has more money than you.

You know, there is this little bar/resturant in georgetown down in DC. If I took you there you would see women on the cover of maxim magazine. Mid 20s early 30s. Drop dead. With some guy twice their age because (obviously) he's loaded. These girls are cheating on that shmuck with a younger guy and enjoying the meal ticket from the older guy - no question about it.

 

[turbo]

Good one, fileen!

 

[cronxeh]

You do realize that knowing a famous man's biography inside out is kind of pathetic? You think by replicating Einstein's or Feynman's life you will somehow become them? I mean I can see how you would be smarter if you studied same subjects they did, but using same pickup lines and adapting same habits will not make you them. You either have it or you don't and that is exactly the point of this thread - if you can't pick up a woman then no pickup line can help you

 

[Cyrus]

You do realize that knowing a famous man's biography inside out is kind of pathetic? You think by replicating Einstein's or Feynman's life you will somehow become them? I mean I can see how you would be smarter if you studied same subjects they did, but using same pickup lines and adapting same habits will not make you them. You either have it or you don't and that is exactly the point of this thread - if you can't pick up a woman then no pickup line can help you

What are you talking about? I never said anything of the sort. It was an example.

 

[cronxeh]

Allow me to show you the flaw in that line. (a) You're in a really upscale bar. Guess what, you and almost every other guy in there has a Porsche and yacht. Woop-de-do. (b) you're not in an upscale bar, in which case why are you wasting your time scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Just a thought... throwing money around doesn't work. Never. If your with people without money they resent that. If your with people that do have money, chances are one of them there has more money than you.

You know, there is this little bar/resturant in georgetown down in DC. If I took you there you would see women on the cover of maxim magazine. Mid 20s early 30s. Drop dead. With some guy twice their age because (obviously) he's loaded. These girls are cheating on that shmuck with a younger guy and enjoying the meal ticket from the older guy - no question about it.

You assuming that there is intelligence involved. Throwing your money around may cause resentment from those with higher IQ and substantially less attractiveness factor, but having a good packaged libido will attract you a hot piece of blonde

 

[Cyrus]

You assuming that there is intelligence involved. Throwing your money around may cause resentment from those with higher IQ and substantially less attractiveness factor, but having a good packaged libido will attract you a hot piece of blonde

Learn how to read. I *never* said anything remotely to what you're saying. Thanks for putting words in my mouth. I owe you one...

 

[cronxeh]

What are you talking about? I never said anything of the sort. It was an example.

That wasn't directed at you actually. I was generalizing in regards to Feynman's pickup line that asking the direct question like he did will not get you laid

 

[BobG]

I like my eggs unfertilized

haha this guy knows how to pick up a chick

I like his pick-up line:

And when you're on the street,
depending on the street,
i bet you are definitely in the top 3
good lookin girls on the street

 

[Cyrus]

That wasn't directed at you actually. I was generalizing in regards to Feynman's pickup line that asking the direct question like he did will not get you laid

Do me a favor. Don't quote me then.

 

[cronxeh]

Do me a favor. Don't quote me then.

You weren't quoted, yet you decided to quote me. Touche?

 

[BobG]

We're talking about pick-up lines at a bar. That line won't work in a bar.

I know I've heard that line hundreds of times. The only time I remember was sitting with my (now ex) husband on the couch. We had been married about 6 years, no special occasion. He just suddenly blurted out "you have the most incredibly beautiful eyes". It might have been the first day in 6 years my allergies weren't bothering me. Who knows? But THAT I remember. I decided to divorce him shortly after that.

Wow! Okay, that goes on my list of pick-up lines never to use.
That will go right above "Your eyes are like searchlights in hell."

 

[Cyrus]

ANYWAYS.....moving on cronxeh.

(I quoted you because that WAS directed at YOU).

 

[turbo]

Allow me to show you the flaw in that line. (a) You're in a really upscale bar. Guess what, you and almost every other guy in there has a Porsche and yacht. Woop-de-do. (b) you're not in an upscale bar, in which case why are you wasting your time scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Just a thought... throwing money around doesn't work. Never. If your with people without money they resent that. If your with people that do have money, chances are one of them there has more money than you.

I will abandon this here. Why do you have to meet your mate in a bar and why do you have to meet your mate in an upscale bar?

There are lots of very nice people that you might meet at a tavern, a barn-dance (archaic), a church social, a community dinner to benefit disadvantaged persons, and a charity mission or other places, including church suppers, or when volunteering for outreach programs that might draw in big-hearted young ladies.

 

[cronxeh]

Speaking of multiverse, somewhere at this very instance I'm kicking Cyrus's dog

 

[Math Is Hard]

Wow! Okay, that goes on my list of pick-up lines never to use.
That will go right above "Your eyes are like searchlights in hell."

Your eyes are like pools.. sunken and watery.

Your teeth are like stars.. they come out at night.

 

[Cyrus]

I will abandon this here. Why do you have to meet your mate in a bar and why do you have to meet your mate in an upscale bar?

There are lots of very nice people that you might meet at a tavern, a barn-dance (archaic), a church social, a community dinner to benefit disadvantaged persons, and a charity mission or other places, including church suppers, or when volunteering for outreach programs that might draw in big-hearted young ladies.

I suggest you read the OP. It would save us both the headache. It said a bar.

There's nothing like going to the bar and hitting on some random girls with the worst pickup line ever to be conceived by man. I've heard some good ones over the years but these two are my favorites;

I don't know why you are bringing up anything other than a bar. I made no statements of what I said I do in a bar should be extrapolted to other social settings.


I think you also missed the line where I said don't go looking for a mate in a bar.

That's strike 2.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Speaking of multiverse, somewhere at this very instance I'm kicking Cyrus's dog

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

 

[fileen]

hehehe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY8jaGs7xJ0&feature=related

 

[turbo]

you bad fileen

 

[Cyrus]

Ladies ONLY:

If a guy says 'you have the most bla bla bla eyes' at a bar would you even give him 5 mins of your time?

(I already know the answer is no, but I want turbo to 'get it'. I want him to hear it for himself.)

 

[maze]

Did you fall from heaven? Because your face looks all squished like you had a big fall.

 

[Cyrus]

Did you fall from heaven? Because your face looks all squished like you had a big fall.

AHahahahhahaahaha

 

[BobG]

Did you fall from heaven? Because your face looks all squished like you had a big fall.

 

[fileen]

Ladies ONLY:

If a guy says 'you have the most bla bla bla eyes' at a bar would you even give him 5 mins of your time?

(I already know the answer is no, but I want turbo to 'get it'. I want him to hear it for himself.)

it all depends on how he says it. If he is confident without being arrogant, and he's hot, and he's inclined to buy me stuff then yes I certainly will. In fact Id give more time to someone who comments on my eyes than my breasts. I have the double D's and I hear about them all the time. I get it...
I might not be the kind of girl youd be into though, since I am not looking for a part time thing. I don't do the whole sleeping with strangers thing. I want the forever deal

 

[Cyrus]

it all depends on how he says it. If he is confident without being arrogant, and he's hot, and he's inclined to buy me stuff then yes I certainly will. In fact Id give more time to someone who comments on my eyes than my breasts. I have the double D's and I hear about them all the time. I get it...
I might not be the kind of girl youd be into though, since I am not looking for a part time thing. I don't do the whole sleeping with strangers thing. I want the forever deal

runs without looking back...RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN (foot steps foot steps ...fades quieter and quieter into the background noise). You aint getting me for 18 years toots.


AHAHAHAHAHHA, where did that little gem come from!? Sugar daddyyyyy. (Hey I don't blame you one bit. If a guy's that dumb to give away his money to you then take it.)

 

[Holocene]

wow...that's lame and sad.

 

[fileen]

runs without looking back...RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN (foot steps foot steps ...fades quieter and quieter into the background noise).AHAHAHAHAHHA, where did that little gem come from!? Sugar daddyyyyy.

haha yes and this is why I don't frequent the bars. Not only do you have to deal with dumb sluts but also the guys the dig them

 

[Cyrus]

haha yes and this is why I don't frequent the bars. Not only do you have to deal with dumb sluts but also the guys the dig them

That's a sweeping (and false) statement. Me0owww...why the hate? I've found that most of the people at the bars are normal everyday people.

One girl I was talking to was in her late 20's and had similar interests about being atheist. She was into Dawkins and Hitchens. She worked for the Department of homeland security. She was a nice person. Her name was Marta and she was polish descent. Tall, dark hair, thin. She was also turning guys away from her left and right that tried to dance or talk to her. I was also grabbing her butt, and she grabbed mine. We were flirting because it was fun. If you're too insecure to have fun or go to bars, you shouldn't be there. But you can't say, 'there sluts'. That's a very myopic veiwpoint.

Now, there ARE people that are sluts (guys and girls). But to say that they are ALL sluts is way, way off point.

 

[Topher925]

Wow. My last post in this thread a little more than an hour ago was "I'm going to let this thread die", and now its at 4 pages.

I would really like to hear from the ladies on this forum as to what lines they like to hear.

I have this one a t-shirt (seriously!);

"Is your 'butt' differentiable? Because I would like to be tangential to it."

I have to say that most girls that I've met in bars have been professional sluts. I've given up trying to find a girl that I can take seriously let alone spend the rest of my life with so I'm ok with this.

 

[fileen]

That's a sweeping (and false) statement. Me0owww...why the hate? I've found that most of the people at the bars are normal everyday people.

One girl I was talking to was in her late 20's and had similar interests about being atheist. She was into Dawkins and Hitchens. She worked for the Department of homeland security. She was a nice person. She was also turning guys away from her left and right that tried to dance or talk to her. I was also grabbing her butt, and she grabbed mine. We were flirting because it was fun. If you're too insecure to have fun or go to bars, you shouldn't be there. But you can't say, 'there sluts'.

perhaps youve never been to Guelph... I don't know if its just here but its pretty normal here for people to go out to bars and bring home strangers on a daily basis. The few times I've been to the bars, I've had to deal with guys that are actually angry that I am not interested. When I go I do so to dance and I plan to go home alone. I am sure lots of people feel the same way, but I also know lots of people dont. Skanky girls offend me. I always want to some how force them to have some self esteem. I love my self way to much to just give it away to any one.

 

[Cyrus]

perhaps youve never been to Guelph... I don't know if its just here but its pretty normal here for people to go out to bars and bring home strangers on a daily basis. The few times I've been to the bars, I've had to deal with guys that are actually angry that I am not interested. When I go I do so to dance and I plan to go home alone. I am sure lots of people feel the same way, but I also know lots of people dont. Skanky girls offend me. I always want to some how force them to have some self esteem. I love my self way to much to just give it away to any one.

It's hard having conversations when people live in vastly different places from one another. Where you live, where I live, and where turbo live, it's hard to talk on the same page because things are so fundamentally different.

When I say a 'bar'. I mean this:

http://www.eaw.com/frontrow/Lotus%20Open%201.jpg

http://dc.metromix.com/content_image/thumbnail/4x3/180/429282

http://www.dcsocialite.com/images/play.jpg

http://www.actincdc.com/Lima/Lima7.jpg

Not some hole in the wall to drink yourself silly. So I think we are trying to compare apples and oranges.

 

[Topher925]

"I'll show you where my Y intercepts your X. Hint: it's in your fallopian tube. They call it the origin for a reason."

I thought this was hilarious

 

[mcknia07]

Now, I don't go to bars, but the one Cyrus have a picture of, I would love to go there. It looks pretty!

Wanna take me sometime?

 

[Cyrus]

Now, I don't go to bars, but the one Cyrus have a picture of, I would love to go there. It looks pretty!

Wanna take me sometime?

If you come down here, yes. I'll take you to one. If my friend is DJ'ing well get in for free too, and cut the line.

 

[mcknia07]

If you come down here, yes. I'll take you to one. If my friend is DJ'ing well get in for free too, and cut the line.

Awesome, I'm going to keep your word on that one too.