Best Pickup Lines: Two Funny Ones to Try

[Cyrus]

Awesome, I'm going to keep your word on that one too.

I'm not kidding. Come in the summer when its warmer. You must be over 21 though.

 

[BobG]

It's hard having conversations when people live in vastly different places from one another. Where you live, where I live, and where turbo live, it's hard to talk on the same page because things are so fundamentally different.

When I say a 'bar'. I mean this:

Not some hole in the wall to drink yourself silly. So I think we are trying to compare apples and oranges.

When I say a 'bar', I mean atmosphere - .98692 atmospheres to be exact.

 

[mcknia07]

I'm not kidding. Come in the summer when its warmer. You must be over 21 though.

OK, when it's warm then. And, I should be old enough by then

 

[Cyrus]

When I say a 'bar', I mean atmosphere - .98692 atmospheres to be exact.

Ahem, that's barr

edit: Damn, it is bar. Damn you, damn damn!

Foiled by your slide rule and resistor pen yet again...

 

[Topher925]

Dam Cyrus, your good. You can even pick up girls on PF! I need to start taking notes.

 

[Cyrus]

OK, when it's warm then. And, I should be old enough by then

You have purdy eyes...did you fall from heaven??

 

[Math Is Hard]

When I say a 'bar', I mean atmosphere - .98692 atmospheres to be exact.

OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

 

[mcknia07]

You have purdy eyes...did you fall from heaven??

Beautiful view...sucky pick up line

 

[JasonRox]

I got free passes to this sick bar...

http://www.libertygroup.com/c_lounge/c_lounge.html

Check out the Fire and Ice Lounge.

 

[JasonRox]

OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

Fall from where? You should be wearing a tiny top with a short skirt.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

Nope, you blew it already. It had potential before you let it fall to the floor.

 

[cronxeh]

"Is your 'butt' differentiable? Because I would like to be tangential to it."

Or better yet "id like to be Normal to your butt"

a vector pickup line for ya

 

[JasonRox]

Or better yet "id like to be Normal to your butt"

a vector pickup line for ya

Let's play a game. Find the normal vector of my body.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Nope, you blew it already. It had potential before you let it fall to the floor.

 

[Danger]

I had several, but all dependent upon immediate circumstances (usually spontaneous).
The only stock phrase was "Is there any possibility that your stand on meaningless recreational sex is compatible with mine?"
Strangely enough, once in a while the answer was positive.

 

[Cyrus]

I got free passes to this sick bar...

http://www.libertygroup.com/c_lounge/c_lounge.html

Check out the Fire and Ice Lounge.

Awesome man. Awesome.

 

[Proton Soup]

OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

doesn't matter what you drop, as long as you turn away and bend at the hips to retrieve it.

or... just make physical contact.

 

[Werg22]

The idea of pick-up lines is itself flawed. One needs to be adaptive to the situation and seize opportunities that present themselves there and then, pre-thought lines are rarely going to come off right.

 

[Vanadium 50]

Your eyes are like pools.. sunken and watery.

Your eyes are like pools...cesspools.

Carl Hiassen had a great bit of dialog in one of his books:
"You have the most beautiful blue eyes"
"They're green, but thanks anyway."

 

[Vanadium 50]

The only time I remember was sitting with my (now ex) husband on the couch. We had been married about 6 years, no special occasion. He just suddenly blurted out "you have the most incredibly beautiful eyes". It might have been the first day in 6 years my allergies weren't bothering me. Who knows? But THAT I remember. I decided to divorce him shortly after that.

90% of men say the first thing they notice about women are their eyes.

90% of women say the first thing they notice about men are that they are a pack of liars.

 

[redargon]

Not the best way to get girls (but have a good laugh and maybe get a conversation going):
Hey loveboat... not you shipwreck.
Hey cookie... not you dog biscuit.
(actually those are good for teasing people you already know, heaven help you if you try them on someone you like)

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

You with all those curves and me with no brakes.

Hi, my name's redargon, remember that 'cos you'll be screaming it later.

How to possibly get girls:
Forget pick up lines, be confident, walk across to the girl making eyes at you and ask her how she's doing (but not like joey: hey, how you doing?).

Other things that might get you somewhere:
Point at the cocktail menu and ask, "any idea what this tastes like?" or "what the hell is angostura bitters?" with a slight confused look on your face. It shows weakness (you're not trying to prove how smart you are) and that you're willing to ask her for and value her opinion.
"Hey, do you speak French?"
When she says "no", you say, "Yeah, neither do I..."
When she's says "yes" or "oi", you say "ummm, ****, well actually that was my pickup line, what's the french word for jackass?"

I have a t-shirt that says, "Tell your girlfriend I said thanks" For some reason girls like this one. Must be a confidence thing.

 

[ephedyn]

"I'm not a physicist."

 

[Danger]

My best wasn't a line at all... just an approach.
The bar that I worked in had nice plush rolling armchairs at the tables. Our winters here can get pretty nasty (-50C sometimes), so people dress appropriately for the season. One cute young lady had this huge fur coat draped in her chair, and she was sitting on it. When she went to the can, I took it upon myself to slump in her chair and pull the coat over myself. She sat back down never suspecting...

It startled the hell out of her, but I ended up taking her mother home.

 

[dyosa]

90% of men say the first thing they notice about women are their eyes.

90% of women say the first thing they notice about men are that they are a pack of liars.

which i think is an inborn disease and an incurable one.

 

[JasonRox]

which i think is an inborn disease and an incurable one.

Haha, which set of eyes?

 

[JasonRox]

http://www.dagobert.ca/

http://www.mauricenightclub.com/album.php

Those were the two places I went to all the time this summer.

Where do you guys go if this isn't the type of bars you have in mind?

 

[BobG]

http://www.dagobert.ca/

http://www.mauricenightclub.com/album.php

Those were the two places I went to all the time this summer.

Where do you guys go if this isn't the type of bars you have in mind?

Hmmm, that's a good question. Warehouses with dog agility training events is one option, but it's not exactly a very daring social excursion.

Turbo had a suggestion that actually works pretty well in this area of the country (he's not the first person I've heard this from).

I will abandon this here. Why do you have to meet your mate in a bar and why do you have to meet your mate in an upscale bar?

There are lots of very nice people that you might meet at a tavern, a barn-dance (archaic), a church social, a community dinner to benefit disadvantaged persons, and a charity mission or other places, including church suppers, or when volunteering for outreach programs that might draw in big-hearted young ladies.

It's not quite so archaic around here, except they actually have contra dancing, which is a little bit different (a little more international flavor) and they don't have them in barns.

The plusses are:
Contra dancing is not the same as country line dancing.
Contra dance groups receive absolutely no funding from Oliver North.
We do not wear costumes (except on Halloween) or any particular style of clothes. (I think this might mean nude dancing, but I'm not sure since I've never actually seen a contra dance).
Contra dance is a form of dance that thrusts a different person of the opposite sex into your arms every 30 seconds or so.
Contra dancers make eye contact whenever possible. Remember: they're gazing into your eyes not because they love you but because they want to make the connection, and they don't want to throw up on you. (partners considerate enough not to throw up on you is a very big plus).

So the options are:

Hillside Community Center

or (if willing to go out of town):
http://www.stellardaysandnights.org/valerie.htm

Man, that's going to be really hard to choose between those two options.

 

[Evo]

Wow. My last post in this thread a little more than an hour ago was "I'm going to let this thread die", and now its at 4 pages.

I would really like to hear from the ladies on this forum as to what lines they like to hear.

I have this one a t-shirt (seriously!);

"Is your 'butt' differentiable? Because I would like to be tangential to it."

I have to say that most girls that I've met in bars have been professional sluts. I've given up trying to find a girl that I can take seriously let alone spend the rest of my life with so I'm ok with this.

I hope you don't use any of those lines you've posted, they're all horrible.

I think the problem you have with meeting women is that you have a terrible attitude and misconceptions about women that are very obvious.

 

[NeoDevin]

OK, here's my new trick. I bump into an engineer at a bar and say. "oopsie!" and let a slide rule fall out of my purse. I think it has potential.

To pick up most engineers, I think all you really need to do is be female and willing.

 

[Evo]

To pick up most engineers, I think all you really need to do is be female and willing.

Yeah, the slide rule might distract him to the point that he forgets everything else. Like kurdt "oooh, red ball".

 

[NeoDevin]

To pick up most engineers, I think all you really need to do is be female and willing.

And in some cases, even those two points may be optional.

 

[Topher925]

I hope you don't use any of those lines you've posted, they're all horrible.

I think the problem you have with meeting women is that you have a terrible attitude and misconceptions about women that are very obvious.

I've used them on occasion but only to get a laugh. I don't think anyone has ever taken them seriously.

And my problem with meeting women is that my standards are to high and I'm to stubborn to settle. I only have three simple criteria that a girl would have to meet in order for me to actually be interested in them. So far, none of them have met all three.

 

[BobG]

I've used them on occasion but only to get a laugh. I don't think anyone has ever taken them seriously.

And my problem with meeting women is that my standards are to high and I'm to stubborn to settle. I only have three simple criteria that a girl would have to meet in order for me to actually be interested in them. So far, none of them have met all three.

I only have one. She has to be able to lick the outside of her elbow.

 

[NeoDevin]

I only have three simple criteria that a girl would have to meet in order for me to actually be interested in them. So far, none of them have met all three.

Female, alive, and willing? Or is that aiming too high?

 

[Topher925]

Female, alive, and willing? Or is that aiming too high?

Thats aiming little high, but that's the only requirements for me to go home with them.

For me to actually be interested in an actual relationship with them they have to be ambitious, intelligent, and an atheist.