Best Pickup Lines: Two Funny Ones to Try

[Cyrus]

How does it always seem to come back to the thought of me having this huge crush on you?

No means no. Please respect my choice.

 

[JasonRox]

How does it always seem to come back to the thought of me having this huge crush on you?

Because he has a huge crush on me, and I have a huge crush on you, everything just goes in circles. (Or triangles...)

 

[mcknia07]

Because he has a huge crush on me, and I have a huge crush on you, everything just goes in circles. (Or triangles...)

Oh, ok I get it now then...it all is crystal clear

 

[Cyrus]

Oh, ok I get it now then...it all is crystal clear

I had to call you out on that long reply to what was clearly a joke. Sorry, it had to be done. It was for your own good and my own amusement.

 

[mcknia07]

Cyrus is a big 'ol meanie!

 

[Redbelly98]

If you look into my eyes while we spin, you won't feel so dizzy.

(This is true! This is a trick learned from contra dancing. If you look into your partners eyes while dancing, you won't feel so dizzy and will be less likely to puke - except adding the last part wouldn't be such a great pick-up line.)

Hey, another contra dancer! I wondered if there were any others at PF. So you're in Colorado? I went to the Denver dance once, around 1996. Great dance.

 

[moose]

Not sure if you're joking or not?

I wasn't joking. Lol what made you think I was joking?

 

[BobG]

Hey, another contra dancer! I wondered if there were any others at PF. So you're in Colorado? I went to the Denver dance once, around 1996. Great dance.

I've never actually gone to one, yet. It's something I'm at least considering, though.

 

[Redbelly98]

Just to stay on topic:
"Wanna go contra dancing?"

Oh, it's worth trying at least once. You'll probably get a little dizzy before the night is through, but looking in your partners eyes during the swings will minimize that.

If you ever go, don't be worried about making "mistakes" (you will your first time), and dance with different people (if you happen to go with a date or girlfriend or spouse) because that will help you learn the moves quicker.

EDIT:
At most dances there is a beginner's lesson before the actual dancing starts. I recommend showing up early, if they have that lesson.

 

[neu]

"What will a tenner get me?"

 

[offtheleft]

hopefully, this has not been posted yet. i can't wait to get back to class to use it :D

"I wish I was your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves."

 

[edward]

Hi babe, wow is it hot in here or is it just you? { Was that in a movie?}

 

[physics girl phd]

Wow! check out Redbelly's avatar today!:
https://www.physicsforums.com/customavatars/avatar122961_14.gif

 

[Redbelly98]

Wow! check out Redbelly's avatar today!:
https://www.physicsforums.com/customavatars/avatar122961_14.gif

Yes indeedy, a good avatar is better than any pickup line

 

[lisab]

Hi babe, wow is it hot in here or is it just you? { Was that in a movie?}

Especially good line for a woman going through menopause.

 

[edward]

Whoa there guys maybe you won't need a pickup line.

Burger King launches beef-scented body spray
46 minutes ago

NEW YORK (AP) — Looking to beef up your mojo this holiday season?

Burger King Corp. may have just the thing. The home of the Whopper has launched a new men's body spray called "Flame." The company describes the spray as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat."

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5htNyNi8i-XrcBv74A8JBGuFM1_4AD955EMP81

FLAME SPRAY

http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/

 

[physics girl phd]

FLAME SPRAY

http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/

Wow! I love this link when you keep clicking the spray bottle!
The best is when you get that come-hither look from the king himself.
Pick-up lines definitely not needed. But the mask might help more than the spray.

 

[BobG]

Just to stay on topic:
"Wanna go contra dancing?"

Oh, it's worth trying at least once. You'll probably get a little dizzy before the night is through, but looking in your partners eyes during the swings will minimize that.

If you ever go, don't be worried about making "mistakes" (you will your first time), and dance with different people (if you happen to go with a date or girlfriend or spouse) because that will help you learn the moves quicker.

EDIT:
At most dances there is a beginner's lesson before the actual dancing starts. I recommend showing up early, if they have that lesson.

Is this something a person can do when they're six weeks pregnant?

 

[physics girl phd]

Is this something a person can do when they're six weeks pregnant?

Bob: Are YOU 6 weeks pregnant?

To keep this on the subject of pick-up lines... is your cute little pot-belly round because you're pregnant... or would you like me to try to help you make it that way?

 

[Monique]

One that someone seriously used (it was on a singles show): "my mother is looking for a daughter-in-law, would you want to be that nice daughter-in-law for my mother?"

It worked, after at least the third try he had a date

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

is your cute little pot-belly round because you're ...

My wife and I went to the local bar last Friday and that's exactly what I began to ask her. I never got to finish because just then a fight broke out between two of the customers.

 

[turbo]

You could just sit at a bar, looking morose, and nursing a beer until the nice lady next to you asks how you're doing. Tell her "It's just my luck. I won the powerball lottery on the same day that my doctor called to tell me that my brain cancer is inoperable." Works every time.

 

[Redbelly98]

Just to stay on topic:
"Wanna go contra dancing?"

Is this something a person can do when they're six weeks pregnant?

That should be fine. It's basically doing up to 3 hours of light aerobics with lots of breaks. If somebody gets winded or a little dizzy they can always stop and sit out for 1 or 2 dances.

Here are a couple of links where you can search for a dance near you:
http://www.contradancelinks.com/
http://tedcrane.com/DanceDB/
Note, you'll probably see some references to English Country Dancing--which is different and less strenuous than contra dancing, but also worth trying.

 

[BobG]

That should be fine. It's basically doing up to 3 hours of light aerobics with lots of breaks. If somebody gets winded or a little dizzy they can always stop and sit out for 1 or 2 dances.

Here are a couple of links where you can search for a dance near you:
http://www.contradancelinks.com/
http://tedcrane.com/DanceDB/
Note, you'll probably see some references to English Country Dancing--which is different and less strenuous than contra dancing, but also worth trying.

They have a dance on the 17th I'm going to. I need to start getting out of the house and, besides, I might even be officially single by then.

Bob: Are YOU 6 weeks pregnant?

To keep this on the subject of pick-up lines... is your cute little pot-belly round because you're pregnant... or would you like me to try to help you make it that way?

The drawback to doing this is having to do it alone. The plan is to shamelessly exploit my kids and their significant others as my wingmen. Now one of my wingmen is 5 weeks pregnant.

One that someone seriously used (it was on a singles show): "my mother is looking for a daughter-in-law, would you want to be that nice daughter-in-law for my mother?"

It worked, after at least the third try he had a date

On the positive side, I now have a new pick-up line: "My pregnant daughter is looking for a new mother-in-law." No, wait, that won't work. I mean, uh, geez, my life is getting way too complicated and Jerry Springer-like.

I think I'll just go with: "Wanna have sex with grandpa?"

 

[physics girl phd]

I think I'll just go with: "Wanna have sex with grandpa?"

Watch out... too many older women might want to really latch on and be "grandma." (Thank goodness my mom doesn't fit that category.)

Seriously... a newly pregnant (even third "trimesterly" pregnant) woman can (and should) get an appropriate amount of exercise... when my high school marching band was preparing for the Rose Bowl parade (in the 90's) part of our fitness program (aerobics sessions) were conducted by an aerobics instructor that was 8 months pregnant!

Your wingman just might want to take care with wearing sensible shoes and being careful about moves that she might be unbalanced in (and fall from). They do caution about working out to the point of being "out of breath." But working out is good.

She should also discuss the form of exercise with the obstetrician. This is important... my sister was rehabbing a torn ACL (with leg presses) and had partial placental separation during the activity. She hadn't talked to her OB about her exercise/rehab program (perhaps because she's an MD herself, and a power-freak). Fortunately her little boy was born a bit small, but is still OK.

So anyway, I'm done hijacking the thread... let's get back to topic!

 

[BobG]

The hell with pickup lines. I'm just going to start carrying one of these around in my pocket.

You want me to show you how to use it? That 66" scale can take you to four significant digits, baby!

 

[BobG]

I just spent some time watching old silent movies. I can't believe how many great pick-up lines they have in those! Holy cow!

Take these, for instance:

I want to shake the hand of the mother who raised a daughter as beautiful as you.

You're like a beautiful ray of sunshine, just standing there sunburning me.

 

[Math Is Hard]

The hell with pickup lines. I'm just going to start carrying one of these around in my pocket.

wow.. That's really a beautiful design. I've never seen anything like it. :!)

 

[Loren Booda]

Best pickup line: [15 seconds of heavenly silence.]

Not like the pregnant pause during the first bar scene in A Beautiful Mind.

 

[drankin]

"wow, you're hot, what's your DOB?". LOL!

The pickup line is what happens when you actually talk to her and she says, "hi". There is no "line", it's when you're on and she's gets that your on. That's why they call it a line, because we all laugh about guys who aren't "on" and try anyway!

 

[BobG]

wow.. That's really a beautiful design. I've never seen anything like it. :!)

sigh .:!)... You're like a beautiful ray of sunshine, just standing there sunburning me.



Er, I mean, check http://www.neaca.com/images/SA105_HRT28_Micky_Mouse_Calculator_.JPG out! It's solar powered!

 

[junglebeast]

AHAHAHAh, buy her a drink. Second wrong piece of advice so far.

Note: Have any of you read "Surely you must be joking Mr. Feynman?"

Did you read any of the things he said to women? Like when he took them out and before they left the car for their date he would say "So, are you going to have sex with me tonight or not?"

You have purdy eyes are for suckers. Even Feynman knew that much. Wise up.

Cyrus,

Haha...you're such a douche bag...but thanks for pointing out this story. It's funny, and quite a gem. While I suspect that outright asking a girl to sleep with you as soon as you meet her may be a recipe for failure with many girls, there's probably a sizeable portion that it will work on. It shows you've got spunk, for one thing, and I think everyone is naturally a bit of a slut at heart. I learned long ago that cowing to tradition is a surefire route to rejection with all but the most lonesome and inexperienced girls. If you act aloof, and make it into a game where you are the prize, suddenly they all want to play that game :P

 

[junglebeast]

The hell with pickup lines. I'm just going to start carrying one of these around in my pocket.

Since this is the pick up line thread, I cannot resist,

Is that an Otis King calculator in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

 

[marlon]

Cyrus,

Haha...you're such a douche bag...but thanks for pointing out this story. It's funny, and quite a gem. While I suspect that outright asking a girl to sleep with you as soon as you meet her may be a recipe for failure with many girls, there's probably a sizeable portion that it will work on. It shows you've got spunk, for one thing, and I think everyone is naturally a bit of a slut at heart. I learned long ago that cowing to tradition is a surefire route to rejection with all but the most lonesome and inexperienced girls. If you act aloof, and make it into a game where you are the prize, suddenly they all want to play that game :P

Cyrus is right, take it for me, THE specialist at inventing successful pickup lines.
Besides, it's your lucky day cause i'll share some wisdom with you :

line 1) hey baby, want to sit on me ?
line 2) just sing a song like this as you walk towards her for the first time :
line 3) show her your intelligence : tell her this :

marlon

 

[Math Is Hard]

Er, I mean, check http://www.neaca.com/images/SA105_HRT28_Micky_Mouse_Calculator_.JPG out! It's solar powered!

Everyone should have one of these.

When I was in school and getting my books for classes at the campus bookstore, it took great effort to restrain myself from buying the cute, collectible calculators that were for sale. They even had a Hello Kitty calculator that I still pine for.

And I'm still searching for a really cool abacus. I may have to build it myself.