Can Long-Term Marriage Retain Its Spark?

[rewebster]

what do you think?---do you think I should email her?

 

[Astronuc]

what do you think?---do you think I should email her?

One should start a thread "Question for women?"

But sure - email her. And take a number.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Looks good to me. Is the problem 'consists in/consists of"?

Yes.

In that case, the grammar in the poster is correct.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.

I have to advise against this gambit in the most ardent way. I have tried this on my wife many times, but she keeps coming back.

Love means never having to say you're sorry

Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.

 

[Astronuc]

I have to advise against this gambit in the most ardent way. I have tried this on my wife many times, but she keeps coming back.

Ummm, Henny Youngman was your spiritual advisor and mentor?

On the other hand -

Youngman's wife, Sadie Cohen, was often the butt of his jokes ("My wife said to me, 'For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen!'", or "my wife's cooking is fit for a king. (gesturing as if feeding an invisible dog) Here King, here King!") but in reality the two were very close, with Sadie often accompanying her husband on his tours. Youngman remained married to his wife for over sixty years until her passing in 1987, after a prolonged illness. While she was ill, Henny had an ICU built in their bedroom, so she could be taken care of at home, rather than in the hospital (Sadie was terrified of hospitals).

- now that is the way it's supposed to be!

Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.

She let's you up off the floor for that long?! Amazaing.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

She let's you up off the floor for that long?! Amazaing.

No joke, tomorrow, my wife is headed for a month long vacation (from me?) to Liechtenstein. First she told me it would be a week, but then she bought a ticket for a month. Then she told me she regretted it and would try to get it changed to three weeks. I really don't look forward to getting on without her, but Gibrish says I must. When she returns she will be as welcome as the flowers in May.

 

[DaveC426913]

No joke, tomorrow, my wife is headed for a month long vacation (from me?) to Liechtenstein. First she told me it would be a week, but then she bought a ticket for a month. Then she told me she regretted it and would try to get it changed to three weeks. I really don't look forward to getting on without her, but Gibrish says I must. When she returns she will be as welcome as the flowers in May.

What?? When did she decide to leave Liechtenstein a week early?? Now my ticket's useless! Guys, who wants to trade their week for mine? I knew picking last was a bad idea...

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

What?? When did she decide to leave Liechtenstein a week early?? Now my ticket's useless! Guys, who wants to trade their week for mine? I knew picking last was a bad idea...

Trust me, you're not man enough to handle that woman.

 

[Zenparticle]

I think if you look at in terms of a business partnership and are mentally healthy as well having the special someone you feel you couldn't live without then marriage is a good thing- It just takes 2 people putting in the effort of their life's, after all your partner is worth it, right?

 

[turbo]

Business partner? No. Life partner, with another person whose commitment to the "venture" does not rest solely on the quarterly earnings. My wife and I started with nothing but each other and a few personal possessions. We did not even own a car for the first year that we were together, and I traveled to work (even in the snow) on my motorcycle.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

No joke, tomorrow, my wife is headed for a month long vacation (from me?)

I believe it.

 

[Astronuc]

I think if you look at in terms of a business partnership and are mentally healthy as well having the special someone you feel you couldn't live without then marriage is a good thing- It just takes 2 people putting in the effort of their life's, after all your partner is worth it, right?

I share turbo's perspective. It's more a life partner - someone who is with you because he or she wants to be with you - and both share that desire. It's about mutual support, mutual benefit and reciprocity.

As for mentally healthy - these days I wonder what that means. Everyone has certain behavorial traits, and I suppose it's a matter of compatibility.

What a long term relationship takes is commitment, which is really based upon the values of both individuals. Both have to be committed to the idea of a long term relationship. Marriage is about making a promise or committment, and then keeping that promise, which can take some effort.

If one has never done it, then certainly it can appear to be impossible. But those in a long term relationship just simply do it.

My wife and I were very much independent when we met, and I think that was one of the reasons we were attracted to each other. We each maintained our independence by which I mean we each have our own interests, likes and dislikes, but we share them as much as the other is able and/or willing.

Marraige as an partnership is an interdependence, and it allows one to share oneself and one's experience with the other. It's an intimate dance.

 

[Zenparticle]

Business partner? No. Life partner, with another person whose commitment to the "venture" does not rest solely on the quarterly earnings. My wife and I started with nothing but each other and a few personal possessions. We did not even own a car for the first year that we were together, and I traveled to work (even in the snow) on my motorcycle.

I meant that it is a partnership in which you may love one another, but not be in love with each other-so at times it takes work to maintain(as in both working together) The word business may have been wrong, I meant it more as a legal partnership then having to do with financial issues. It's just not always going to be roses and smiles but it can be close to "perfect" if the right amount of effort is put fourth by both sides and that does take work in most cases.

If one has never done it, then certainly it can appear to be impossible. But those in a long term relationship just simply do it.

I have been in my relationship for 10 years- We are not married but we have a child and we live together and it never seems impossible just a bit hard at times.

 

[Astronuc]

I meant that it is a partnership in which you may love one another, but not be in love with each other-so at times it takes work to maintain(as in both working together) The word business may have been wrong, I meant it more as a legal partnership then having to do with financial issues. It's just not always going to be roses and smiles but it can be close to "perfect" if the right amount of effort is put fourth by both sides and that does take work in most cases.

Understood. It's not always roses, but hopefully the good times outweight the not so good times.

I think it helps to love one another (the caring, nuturing part) as well as being in love with (romantic, playful, and occassionally erotic part) each other. Romance does take effort sometimes, i.e. finding the time to play.

I have been in my relationship for 10 years- We are not married but we have a child and we live together and it never seems impossible just a bit hard at times.

Yeah - and I hope continues. It sounds like a good/great relationship.

It is not impossible, but at times difficult. People change and hopefully one's partner is willing to adapt.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

I believe it.

How are your plans to leave shaping up?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Tonight I head out to JFK to pick up my wife. She decided she couldn't stay away for an entire month and so she cut her one month vacation to just over 2 weeks. The kids and I are planning a little party to welcome her home. She won't be leaving the country again until January. Then we're going to Aruba. We've been there twice and this will be the third time. It's a tiny island and there isn't much to do there. There used to be a natural bridge that you could go see. But it caved in and now there is nothing to do but crack open a bottle of beer, sit on the beach and watch the sun set all day long. I hope the weather here is horrid, for it is not enough that we should enjoy ourselves. Others must suffer.

 

[BobG]

I hope the weather here is horrid, for it is not enough that we should enjoy ourselves. Others must suffer.

That's the attitude!

With any luck, when you try to return you'll be stranded in Aruba wearing shorts and sandals because JFK has been shut down because of a blizzard.

 

[Moonbear]

Then we're going to Aruba. We've been there twice and this will be the third time. It's a tiny island and there isn't much to do there. There used to be a natural bridge that you could go see. But it caved in and now there is nothing to do but crack open a bottle of beer, sit on the beach and watch the sun set all day long. I hope the weather here is horrid, for it is not enough that we should enjoy ourselves. Others must suffer.

That's the sort of vacation I need!

With any luck, when you try to return you'll be stranded in Aruba wearing shorts and sandals because JFK has been shut down because of a blizzard.

Now that would be wonderful! I never have such luck. I'm always stranded in the blizzard on the way out, and the flight returning home always seems to leave even a bit early. It's just not fair! I want to get stranded on a tropical island of no fault of my own for a few extra days.

 

[Astronuc]

That's the attitude!

With any luck, when you try to return you'll be stranded in Aruba wearing shorts and sandals because JFK has been shut down because of a blizzard.

That would beat being stranded in Charlotte, NC because LGA and every other airport within 200-300 miles is closed due to a blizzard - and they remain closed for 3 days! And all you have to eat is Cracker Barrell or Waffle House - because they are the only places open - since the ice storm took out the surrounding areas. And of 6 channels on the cable, 4 are religious broadcasting and 2 are sports. That was a trip from H@!.

 

[Moonbear]

That would beat being stranded in Charlotte, NC because LGA and every other airport within 200-300 miles is closed due to a blizzard - and they remain closed for 3 days! And all you have to eat is Cracker Barrell or Waffle House - because they are the only places open - since the ice storm took out the surrounding areas. And of 6 channels on the cable, 4 are religious broadcasting and 2 are sports. That was a trip from H@!.

That's why I'm driving for Christmas this year. I've already forewarned the people I'm staying with that if there is any forecast for snow, they can expect me a day or two early. Much better than relying on plane reservations and being stuck in an airport for 2 days with all the other holiday travelers who are stranded.

 

[Astronuc]

That's why I'm driving for Christmas this year. I've already forewarned the people I'm staying with that if there is any forecast for snow, they can expect me a day or two early. Much better than relying on plane reservations and being stuck in an airport for 2 days with all the other holiday travelers who are stranded.

Be careful - and watch the weather before traveling.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

How are your plans to leave shaping up?

Luckily, with the collapse of the Republican party and the death of the Bush agenda, the sense of urgency is diminished. We expect to cash out when our place hits a million in profit. Then we can do whatever we want.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Luckily, with the collapse of the Republican party and the death of the Bush agenda, the sense of urgency is diminished. We expect to cash out when our place hits a million in profit. Then we can do whatever we want.

But your beef was not with Bush, it was with the American people. We're still here and so are you. What gives?

 

[Moonbear]

Be careful - and watch the weather before traveling.

I'm not making the mistake of driving through Frostburg again, that's for sure! Or at least will make sure I leave early enough to drive through during daylight hours (I'm still seeking excuses to NOT stay at my sister's house...it's nearly impossible to just get up and get out early from her place, which was why I ended up driving through snowy mountains at night a couple years ago. )

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

And all you have to eat is Cracker Barrell or Waffle House - because they are the only places open - since the ice storm took out the surrounding areas.

At least you had that. In Aruba they don't have Cracker Barrel or Waffle House, or ice storms. I did once get stranded in Tokyo because of a snow storm in JFK. It's an overrated pleasure. But stranded in Aruba would be OK. If you're ever there, take a look at the scratch marks on the airport runway. My fingernails did that when they dragged me away last time.

 

[Astronuc]

I'm not making the mistake of driving through Frostburg again, that's for sure! Or at least will make sure I leave early enough to drive through during daylight hours (I'm still seeking excuses to NOT stay at my sister's house...it's nearly impossible to just get up and get out early from her place, which was why I ended up driving through snowy mountains at night a couple years ago. )

You could move to NZ!

 

[BobG]

THE ORIGINAL VERSION: If you love something, Set it free... If it comes back, it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was yours...

and my favorite..

THE PLAYFUL VERSION: If you love somebody, Set her free ... If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat.


Swiped from: http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/7729.htm

I have to advise against this gambit in the most ardent way. I have tried this on my wife many times, but she keeps coming back.

Those two are the same.

I think the program has to be modified:

for (int n=10; n>0; n--)
{
if (a=='you love her')
x = 'set her free'
if n==5
y = 'forget to send her money'
if n==4
y = 'forget to call on her birthday'
if n==3
y = 'stop smoking' ;this is actually kind of a mean thing to say to a person
if n==2
y = 'enroll in college'
if n==1
y = 'replace her with a dog'

while (b<>'she comes back')
}

x = 'set her free'
a = 'sell her stuff at a garage sale' ;overwriting her variable is crucial