- #176
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Continental drift? Nope. Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris Counts to Infinity Twice
- Thread starter Cyrus
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Facts
In summary: Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.When Chuck Norris was born the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.I think that sums it up pretty well.
- #177
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris never visited Europe.
Europe visited Chuck Norris.
Europe visited Chuck Norris.
- #178
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris doesn't take out the trash. He kicks it out.
- #179
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris doesn't fix his own cars. They fix themselves as he's walking towards them.
- #180
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep on a bed. The bed sleeps under Chuck Norris.
- #181
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris doesn't need a remote. Nothing is beyond his reach.
- #182
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
San Antonio once invited Chuck Norris to join their police force. What they didn't realize is that he was the police force.
- #183
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
When Chuck Norris needed a place to store his data, he roundhouse kicked the Beatles' White Album into a 1 TB hard drive. In 1967.
Last edited:
- #184
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
When Chuck Norris needs his back scratched, he roundhouse kicks whoever's in front of him clear around the planet.
- #185
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris owns seven homes, one on each of the seven different continents, and lives in all of them.
At the same time.
At the same time.
- #186
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris would never run for President. Ruler of the Universe, perhaps, but never President.
- #187
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris never tapes his moving boxes shut. They stay closed out of fear.
- #188
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris had a dog. It lived for 4,379 years, just like Chuck Norris.
- #189
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
When Chuck Norris decides to have a cup of coffee, the beans grind themselves.
- #190
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris once grabbed a pair of live electrical wires.
He shocked the whole town.
He shocked the whole town.
- #191
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Mailmen aren't afraid of anything.
Except dogs.
And Chuck Norris.
Except dogs.
And Chuck Norris.
- #192
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Clive Cussler didn't Raise the Titanic.
Chuck Norris did.
Well, he felt bad, as he was the one who sunk it in the first place.
Chuck Norris did.
Well, he felt bad, as he was the one who sunk it in the first place.
- #193
mugaliens
- 197
- 1
Chuck Norris once had an epiphany.
Rome.
Rome.
- #194
nismaratwork
- 359
- 0
mugaliens said:
That is the best of a very large bunch.
- #195
FtlIsAwesome
Gold Member
- 204
- 0
That's not quite correct.FizixFreak said:
- #196
FizixFreak
- 154
- 0
FtlIsAwesome said:That's not quite correct.
Its looks like you have been to the bathroom of chuck Norris how did you survived?...,Anyways
Chuck Norris was once attacked by grizzly bears while camping in the woods....,chuck Norris was later charged with animal cruelty!
Despite being a man chuck Norris can breastfeed a baby!
Chuck Norris can measure the speed and position of any subatomic particle...,SIMULTANEOUSLY!
If the mentors find out that i am a friend of chuck Norris they will never lock any of my thread
- #197
Ivan Seeking
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
- 8,143
- 1,761
Borek surmised that the PF post rate jumped radically due to this thread. Not true! I did some checking and found that the post count doubled when Chuck Norris made a post.
- #198
nismaratwork
- 359
- 0
Ivan Seeking said:
That's a winner right there.
Chuck Norris is the Bodhisattva of ***-kicking.
- #199
FtlIsAwesome
Gold Member
- 204
- 0
Yeah!FizixFreak said:
Problem is... Chuck Norris doesn't have friends, he's a One Man Wrecking Crew.FizixFreak said:If the mentors find out that i am a friend of chuck Norris they will never lock any of my thread
- #200
FtlIsAwesome
Gold Member
- 204
- 0
I thought it tripled??Ivan Seeking said:
- #201
FizixFreak
- 154
- 0
FtlIsAwesome said:
No you are wrong...,kill him chuck kill him!
- #202
FtlIsAwesome
Gold Member
- 204
- 0
So you're saying Chuck isn't a One Man Wrecking Crew?
- #203
FizixFreak
- 154
- 0
FtlIsAwesome said:
You will not live long enough to find the answer!
Chuck Norris can make Nismar's lesbian friend straight
- #204
nismaratwork
- 359
- 0
FizixFreak said:You will not live long enough to find the answer!
Chuck Norris can make Nismar's lesbian friend straight
He could too, it's not that he's attractive, he just has magical powers.
She'd go back to women when he was gone however, even Norris has his limits.
Chuck Norris can command slime-molds to form enormous structures and act as his private army, or privy (depending on need).
Chuck Norris takes his coffee black, with a splash of botulinum for flavor.
Chuck Norris injects sea-snake venom into his neck every morning to get him going.
- #205
FizixFreak
- 154
- 0
Chuck Norris has seven testicles often referred to as DRAGON BALLZ!
- #206
nismaratwork
- 359
- 0
FizixFreak said:
Hmmmm... I'd hate to see the dragon appear!
- #207
FizixFreak
- 154
- 0
nismaratwork said:Hmmmm... I'd hate to see the dragon appear!
Dont worry about the dragon only worry about chuck Norris!
- #208
zorro
- 1,384
- 0
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
- #209
FtlIsAwesome
Gold Member
- 204
- 0
This is ultimate!Abdul Quadeer said:
- #210
FizixFreak
- 154
- 0
Abdul Quadeer said:Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Abdul Quadeer...,MASHA-ALLAH nice name you are either from south Asia or middle east am i right?