Collection of Lame Jokes

[Noisy Rhysling]

WHAT DO YOU CALL POSTING IN ALL UPPERCASE LETTERS LIKE THIS?

A capital offense.

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

 

[mfb]

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

$&$%?

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

$&$%?

"...and for gosh sakes, watch your language!"

 

[Ibix]

I've been posting my numbers in upper case all along. Just noticed it last night. :blush:

Careful - shouting some numbers makes them larger. E.g. 5 is just five, but try shouting it: 5!=120.

 

[fresh_42]

Careful - shouting some numbers makes them larger. E.g. 5 is just five, but try shouting it: 5!=120.

And not to forget the dangerous echo: $5^{5^{5^{5^{5^{\,\dots}}}}}$. It might cause an avalanche!

 

[Charles Link]

Riddle: What type of fish does a bird like to sit on?

 

[Ibix]

Riddle: What type of fish does a bird like to sit on?

Spoiler

Perch

 

[DrGreg]

There's a joke about a blue bird made of mahogany. It would be great if I could remember it.

Wouldn't it?

Spoiler

If you don't get this, it's a pun on the last line, that sounds like a response to the first sentence.

Joke by Tim Vine.

 

[Charles Link]

There's a joke about a blue bird made of mahogany. It would be great if I could remember it.

Wouldn't it?

Spoiler

If you don't get this, it's a pun on the last line, that sounds like a response to the first sentence.

Joke by Tim Vine.

It wood !

 

[WWGD]

One of the items in the chain's menu was named "The Feast" , and its number was 13. 13 --not 666 -- is the number of the feast ?!

 

[Ibix]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

 

[WWGD]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

Always wondered how Roman engineers built all those aqueducts, etc. with such system: XVI times MCD minus LVII = ...?!?

 

[WWGD]

667 - the neighbour of the beast
2 3 3 37 - the prime factorisation of the beast
vi vi vi - the editor of the beast

Actually, 13 is the feast and one of its neighbors is the Biryani: I would tell them Biryani factors as 23 29 , but I already have a reputation and I don't want to end up in a straight jacket.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

And not to forget the dangerous echo: $5^{5^{5^{5^{5^{\,\dots}}}}}$. It might cause an avalanche!

That's some kind of maths joke, right?

 

[OCR]

Always wondered how Roman engineers built all those aqueducts, etc. with such system: XVI times MCD minus LVII = ...?!?

They didn't use all that stuff in the system you speak of, they just built them by...[COLOR=#black]..[/COLOR] ɪ

 

[Mark44]

A few very old one-liners of the sort "She was only a <fill in the blank> daughter...":

• She was only a moonshiner's daughter, but I love her still.
• She was only a rancher's daughter, but all the cow manure.
• She was only a clergyman's daughter, but you couldn't put anything pastor.
• She was only a statistician's daughter, but she knew all the standard deviations.

 

[davenn]

A few very old one-liners of the sort "She was only a <fill in the blank> daughter...":

• She was only a moonshiner's daughter, but I love her still.
• She was only a rancher's daughter, but all the cow manure.
• She was only a clergyman's daughter, but you couldn't put anything pastor.
• She was only a statistician's daughter, but she knew all the standard deviations.

... She was only a signalman's daughter because her dada did dit

That's especially for @berkeman a fellow radio op

 

[Ibix]

Always wondered how Roman engineers built all those aqueducts, etc. with such system: XVI times MCD minus LVII = ...?!?

See #2 in this thread: Unit conventions (SI versus others)

 

[OCR]

That's especially for berkeman...

What is for berkeman... ?
Dah-dah dah-dah-dah di-dah-dit di-di-dit dit, Dah-di-dah-dit dah-dah-dah dah-di-dit dit. [COLOR=#black].[/COLOR]?

 

[Ibix]

What is for berkeman... ?

-... . .-. -.- . -- .- -. apparently.

 

[OCR]

Apparently.

 

[OCR]

.-.. --- .-.. .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.-

 

[davenn]

@OCR and @Ibix

do you 2 have radio operator backgrounds either commercially, military or amateur radio ?

 

[OCR]

.--- ..- ... - / -.-. --- -- -- . .-. -.-. .. .- .-.. --..-- / -. --- / -.-. --- -.. . .-.-.-

 

[Ibix]

do you 2 have radio operator backgrounds either commercially, military or amateur radio ?

Not really. My Dad knew Morse from the army and I picked up some of the conventions from him (dah/di/dit for verbalising dashes and dots, for example), but I don't actually know Morse (not the whole alphabet, anyway). Enough to get your "dada did dit" joke. I'm just using the Morse/text translator OCR and I have been linking since #3904.

 

[OCR]

My mother-in-law and brother-in-law are both hams, though... my MIL is here right now, love her, she's an...

Yeah...

I'm just using the Morse/text translator OCR and I have been linking since #3904.

 

[fresh_42]

"Darling, where's my lunch?"
"Cookbook, page 42."

 

[WWGD]

They didn't use all that stuff in the system you speak of, they just built them by...[COLOR=#black]..[/COLOR] ɪ

?

 

[WWGD]

"Darling, where's my lunch?"
"Cookbook, page 42."

Is the choice of 42 Random?

 

[fresh_42]

Is the choice of 42 Random?

Is the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Technology_in_The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Infinite_Improbability_Drive random?

 

[Ibix]

Is the choice of 42 Random?

He just multiplied six by nine and there it was.

 

[Ibix]

?

I/eye, I think.

 

[WWGD]

He just multiplied six by nine and there it was.

In what unit(s)?

 

[WWGD]

.--- ..- ... - / -.-. --- -- -- . .-. -.-. .. .- .-.. --..-- / -. --- / -.-. --- -.. . .-.-.-

What does Arabic have to see with it?