Collection of Lame Jokes

[symbolipoint]

I knew of someone who referred to IT as in the pronoun "It". That was pretty confusion. But we wouldn't use " 9 is the square route of 81".

The way to get around this is "I.T." Very obvious, at least in written or printed form.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 366507

Crucification hasn't improved either:

 

[WWGD]

Crucification hasn't improved either:

View attachment 366508​

*Crucifiction. Though more cruci than fiction.

 

[fresh_42]

*Crucifiction. Though more cruci than fiction.

I made this mistake already in German.

 

[WWGD]

I made this mistake already in German.

Kreuze fiction?

 

[fresh_42]

Kreuze fiction?

Kreuzifizierung. Silly, since it isn't a word, but I thought of it and simply created an English transliteration.

 

[WWGD]

I created " Der Hungert Spielen", for the Hunger Games, but none of my German friends had any idea what that meant.

 

[fresh_42]

I created " Der Hungert Spielen", for the Hunger Games, but none of my German friends had any idea what that meant.

You just had to drop the last letters: Die Hunger Spiele. But it runs with its original title here, I think.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[jack action]

​

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

Imagine you're boarding a transatlantic flight and Tom Hanks is sitting next to you. What do you do:

(a) Send a text message saying "I love you all."
(b) Get off the plane somehow.
(c) Start praying.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[symbolipoint]

#23267 with the duck sitting on the dog's head, reminds me of The Duck Song, by Bryant Oden. Not completely straightforward but enough.

 

[Borg]

View attachment 366575

I shot an arrow, into my chest.
where it landed, with all the rest.

 

[sbrothy]

Kreuzifizierung. Silly, since it isn't a word, but I thought of it and simply created an English transliteration.

“Kreuzifizierung”?!

I must admit I love learning new words but sometimes I have to be a little critical of where I pick them up!

 

[sbrothy]

Murphy’s laws focused on different subjects

Because noone on here ever heard of Murphy, obviously.

 

[sbrothy]

Murphy’s laws focused on different subjects

Because noone on here ever heard of Murphy, obviously.

These go well with The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[sbrothy]

These goes well with The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

I like best:

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics​

Things get worse under pressure.

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

A little Medic humor...

 

[Johnny Helium]

Oh my these are so bad they should be modded.

 

[Borg]

They are. They just don't violate any of the forum's rules.

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]

Jewel robbery in the Louvre:​

French police suspect eleven Hollywood stars​

Taken from https://www.der-postillon.com/2025/10/oceans-louvre.html.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[mjc123]

Jewel robbery in the Louvre:​

French police suspect eleven Hollywood stars​

Looking in the wrong place. It was obviously Feathers McGraw!

 

[jack action]

(searched for some time online but couldn't find a picture.) This might get edited out, mentors, thank you, but has some geologic correlation too. I liked the double puns.

From a 'No Kings' march in U.S. yesterday on the TV news, there was a funny placard held by someone in a big, blowup T.Rex dinosaur suit. It read "Stop the Ice Age".

There you go:

 

[fresh_42]

Whenever someone says, "It doesn't cost anything to ask," a lawyer somewhere falls off his chair laughing.

 

[DaveC426913]

A man enters a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”
The lawyer responds: “I charge $1,000 to answer three questions.” The man replies, “That’s a bit mercenary isn’t it?” “Yes,” says the lawyer. “You have one question left.”

 

[Ibix]

Why are viola jokes so short?

So violinists can understand them.

(From the comments below a YouTube video of a viola concerto.)

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[symbolipoint]

To refer to #23291,
Do not take your drunken donkey onto a carousel.

 

[berkeman]

 

[davenn]

 

[Borg]

That's not a lame joke - these days, that's great life advice.

 

[fresh_42]

This is how real horror looks like:

 

[Ivan Seeking]

My fortune cookie from dinner last night ruined my fortune!

It claims I will receive blessings from an unexpected visitor. But now I'm expecting one,

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ivan Seeking]