Collection of Science Jokes P2

[fresh_42]

Interesting, that's about three times (π?) the Schwarzenegger radius (biceps radius):
<image>

I don't dare to think about the association with a black hole that brought you to this ... I hope it was the time traveling aspect ...

 

[DennisN]

I don't dare to think about the association with a black hole that brought you to this ... I hope it was the time traveling aspect ...

No, it was not that sophisticated . It was simply the similarity of the names Schwarzschild and Schwarzenegger.

 

[fresh_42]

No, it was not that sophisticated . It was simply the similarity of the names Schwarzschild and Schwarzenegger.

Ouch! Wrong thread though

Poor Karl ... On the other hand, he died in a war that had been caused by the assassination of the Austrian heir presumptive, so the circle closes in.

 

[hideelo]

 

[EnumaElish]

Hullo

Not wanting to make a new thread for this silly endeavour, I'll ask here.

Say, if you wanted to come up with a cheeky cosmology-related science joke, what would it be? (I'm thinking, maybe, to put it on a t-shirt)

The best I can think of is: 'yo mama so fat, her curvature is indistinguishable from flat using current best measurement methods'

Any other ideas?

Yo mama so fat she has mass whether the Higgs Boson exists or not (source: http://www.jokes4us.com/yomamajokes/yomamasciencejokes.html)

Yo mama so fat the Hubble telescope used her gravitational lensing to see the big bang.

Yo mama so fat she's known as the great fattractor.

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

Yo mama so fat she has mass whether the Higgs Boson exists or not (source: http://www.jokes4us.com/yomamajokes/yomamasciencejokes.html)

How ironic. The only particles where the mass is not expected to come from the Higgs boson are neutrinos, the lightest massive partices.Related to the glass: Another science world view

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Yo mama so fat she has mass whether the Higgs Boson exists or not (source: http://www.jokes4us.com/yomamajokes/yomamasciencejokes.html)

Yo mama so fat the Hubble telescope used her gravitational lensing to see the big bang.

Yo mama so fat she's known as the great fattractor.

Yo mama so fat and heavy she ate a black hole.

 

[fresh_42]

What is $1.616 \cdot 10^{-35} \, m\;$?

Spoiler

No. It's not the Planck length.

Spoiler

It's the broccoli wave length at terminal velocity in atmospheric free fall.

 

[mfb]

Terminal velocity implies interactions with the environment, which quickly lead to decoherence.

 

[davenn]

a little astronomy comedy from days gone by ... used to enjoy Pink panther cartoons when I was a kid


there is, in this cartoon, ( as in all cartoons) a number of serious breaking of physics laws

 

[DennisN]

Very funny blog post about a ridiculously volatile compound:
Things I Won’t Work With: Azidoazide Azides, More Or Less (Derek Lowe)[PLAIN]http://blogs.sciencemag.org/...wont_work_with_azidoazide_azides_more_or_less[/PLAIN]

Some quotes:

It’s time for another dispatch from the land of spiderweb-cracked blast shields and “Oh well, I never liked that fume hood, anyway”
[...]
The most alarming of them has two carbons, fourteen nitrogens, and no hydrogens at all, a formula that even Klapötke himself, who clearly has refined sensibilities when it comes to hellishly unstable chemicals, calls “exciting”. Trust me, you don’t want to be around when someone who works with azidotetrazoles comes across something “exciting”.
[...]
No, only tiny amounts of this stuff have ever been made, or ever will be. If this is its last appearance in the chemical literature, I won’t be surprised. There are no conceivable uses for it – well, other than blowing up Raman spectrometers, which is a small market – and the number of research groups who would even contemplate a resynthesis can probably be counted on one well-armored hand.

 

[mfb]

(That’s been settled by their empirical formulas, which generally look like typographical errors)

C₂N₁₄

 

[DrClaude]

I sometimes get documents that print out like this when a PDF has a font problem

 

[DrClaude]

 

[davenn]

yup, can fix anything with WD40 and duct tape

 

[fresh_42]

From which number on is $2^n > n^3$ ?

Spoiler: Mathematician

There is certainly an N.

Spoiler: Engineer

Probably $10$, so let's say $20$.

Spoiler: Experimentalist

Works with the nested intervals $(2,20),(4,16),(8,12),(9,11), \ldots$ and ends up with $9.93953514142690(5)\pm3 \cdot 10^{-15}$.

Spoiler: Computer Scientist

$1$ kByte $= 1,000 = 10^3$ ergo $10$.

Spoiler: Theoretical Physicist

It's $\log \sqrt[3]{2} = \frac{1}{n} \int_1^n dx \cdot x^{-1} -dn$

Spoiler: Economist

Nonsense. Everybody knows that $2 < 3$.

 

[mfb]

We are missing someone who tests n=1 and concludes that the validity starts at n=1.

 

[fresh_42]

We are missing someone who tests n=1 and concludes that the validity starts at n=1.

Sounds definitely like a politician in a talk show. I always forget about this species ...

 

[davenn]

View attachment 113854

found another duct tape giggle ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

We are missing someone who tests n=1 and concludes that the validity starts at n=1.

I was one of them. May be we can get our own spoiler! Alright, yeah! ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

From which number on is $2^n > n^3$ ?

Spoiler: Mathematician

There is certainly an N.

Spoiler: Engineer

Probably $10$, so let's say $20$.

Spoiler: Experimentalist

Works with the nested intervals $(2,20),(4,16),(8,12),(9,11), \ldots$ and ends up with $9.93953514142690(5)\pm3 \cdot 10^{-15}$.

Spoiler: Computer Scientist

$1$ kByte $= 1,000 = 10^3$ ergo $10$.

Spoiler: Theoretical Physicist

It's $\log \sqrt[3]{2} = \frac{1}{n} \int_1^n dx \cdot x^{-1} -dn$

Spoiler: Economist

Nonsense. Everybody knows that $2 < 3$.

Cynic logician or rigorous mathematician:
The statement of the problem is inaccurate (what is n ? , domain etc. ...)

 

[EnumaElish]

The old "good physicist/bad physicist" routine at the lab.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

 

[davenn]

the biggest biology question finally answered ...

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 114560

Or photoshop has a phan ...

 

[dkotschessaa]

I really have a love/hate relationship with Schrödinger jokes.

-Dave K

 

[mfb]

You don't know until you see the jokes?

 

[DennisN]

You don't know until you see the jokes?

You beat me to it .

 

[fresh_42]

And now for something completely different.
(Will say, no joke, rather a true story, but funny nevertheless.)

After WWI women were first accepted to academic careers, so Lise Meitner could habilitate. Her introductory lecture has been in the then still mysterious field of astrophysics and was titled: "Problems of cosmic physics".
A reporter thought this cannot be - presented by a woman. Therefore he titled in the newspaper:
"Problems of cosmetic physics."

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Her introductory lecture has been in the then still mysterious field of astrophysics and was titled: "Problems of cosmic physics".
A reporter thought this cannot be - presented by a woman. Therefore he titled in the newspaper:
"Problems of cosmetic physics."

Or he didn't know what 'cosmic' meant ... so "he fixed it" ! ...

 

[davenn]

for those amongst us working in accelerator physics
which way to run ??!

 

[mfb]

... what?

There is no such thing, and the LHC cannot even be switched on with people in the ring.