Collection of Science Jokes P2

[gmax137]

The sad thing is, people thinking these stupid order-of-operations questions are "math."

 

[Orodruin]

The sad thing is, people thinking these stupid order-of-operations questions are "math."

I found that one hillarious because it is a spoof of the order-of-operations questions. Rather clever actually. The answer really is 5!

 

[gmax137]

D'oh. Thanks for helping me see!

 

[berkeman]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[berkeman]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Orodruin]

On the topic of internet conversations:

 

[berkeman]

 

[Baluncore]

On the topic of internet conversations:

View attachment 338768

Will you have source with that?

 

[phinds]

Creative Scientific Theories​

These are the results of a "Creative Scientific Theories Contest" sponsored by Omni magazine: {phinds note: this must have been a long time ago. Omni stopped publication in 1995]

*GRAND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped,it always lands on its feet. And when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

*RUNNERS-UP: # 1 If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.

#2 Why yawning is contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

#3 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

*HONORABLE MENTIONS: #1 The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

#2 Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.

 

[Bandersnatch]

These are the results of a "Creative Scientific Theories Contest" sponsored by Omni magazine: {phinds note: this must have been a long time ago. Omni stopped publication in 1995]

There's a live event called BAH Fest (festival of bad ad hoc hypotheses). It's all about presenting these types of fanciful, almost-plausibly sounding ideas in a conference-like format. With slides and graphs and misappropriated jargon and an occasional equation. Doesn't always work, because despite popular perceptions not everyone in academia is a comedian, but when it lands it's hilarious. Check it out, it's on YouTube.

 

[phinds]

Wow. Thanks @Bandersnatch. I watched just one video so far (why dark matter is actually vampires) and it was quite funny.

 

[Bandersnatch]

I watched just one video so far (why dark matter is actually vampires) and it was quite funny.

Hey, that one's really good. Haven't seen it before.

 

[phinds]

I watched a couple of others. Not nearly as good.

 

[davenn]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

Did we have this one, yet?

 

[jack action]

Did we have this one, yet?

View attachment 338937

#2700. It is one of my favorites though.

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

#2700. It is one of my favorites though.

I agree. That shiny cat hits the nail, far better than the usual Schrödinger jokes.

 

[phinds]

George Foreman doesn't use a Playstation because he is an ex boxer

 

[fresh_42]

George Foreman doesn't use a Playstation because he is an ex boxer

I thought he grilled it.

 

[jack action]

George Foreman doesn't use a Playstation because he is an ex boxer

Lame enough to be in the lame jokes thread, not sciency enough to be in the science jokes thread.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DrGreg]

Their motto: "I think, therefore I scam".