Collection of Science Jokes P2

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DennisN]

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

To enter you have to pay an annoying convenience fee.

 

[davenn]

whatever works ...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

There was a story on the Daily WTF about someone demanding a warranty repair for a computer with shotgun damage.

That story reminded me of the very funny scene in Office Space where three workers take revenge on a difficult printer: link. (note: there is some foul language in the music)

 

[DennisN]

"
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.
The frog speaks up again and says, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.”
The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket.
The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say!”
Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asks, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, I’ll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?”
“Look, I’m an engineer,” the man replies. “I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool!”

Source: http://www.mr-funny.com/funny-jokes...ngineer-comes-across-a-frog-who-wants-a-kiss/

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

ya really have to wonder about some people ... huh !
Another Darwin Award recipient in the making

 

[Keith_McClary]

Not really a joke, though.

 

[davenn]

Not really a joke, though.

maybe not a joke, but it's a pretty regular fact

eg.
just happed to watch "The day after tomorrow" on TV last nite
and the climate scientist, Dennis Quaid, was being ignored by a dumb-assed vice president
till the situation was too late

 

[davenn]

Hold my beer, I got this ...

 

[davenn]

Did you hear about scientist who came up with a belief about thread, yarn, and cords?

It was called string theory.

 

[fresh_42]

Did you hear about scientist who came up with a belief about thread, yarn, and cords?

It was called string theory.

I prefer to associate something else.

 

[Klystron]

I heard that knot theory put a kink in string theory.

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

Oops.
Space debris around Earth. From here.

 

[Keith_McClary]

Oops.

That's from 2005. This goes up to 2019.

 

[DrClaude]

Oops.
Space debris around Earth. From here.

Not to scale!

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 258271

Earth’s newest mini-moon lies at the center of the image—a pin-prick of white light—surrounded by stars.

https://www.popularmechanics.com/space/moon-mars/a31114123/earth-new-moon/

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/poets)

 

[zoki85]

View attachment 258273

Oops.
Space debris around Earth. From here.

More sad than funny

 

[BillTre]

 

[zoki85]

Q: How did B.Franklin feel after discovering electricity?
A: Shocked!

 

[Klystron]

Q: How did B.Franklin feel after discovering electricity?
A: Shocked!

All keyed up!

Word has it Ms. Franklin found out about Ben's French mistresses.
"Go fly a kite in a thunderstorm!", she screamed.

 

[zoki85]

All keyed up!

Word has it Ms. Franklin found out about Ben's French mistresses.
"Go fly a kite in a thunderstorm!", she screamed.

He was double shocked in that case. Poor man

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[DrGreg]

Sorry to be pedantic, but surely 1 Fig Newton is 102 grams of figs? $\left( \frac{1}{9.8} \textrm{ kg} \right)$

 

[DennisN]

Wuhan Soup Surprise

Ingredients:

• 1 liter water
• 1 bat
• 150 g pangolin meat

Kill the bat and strip the bat wings off it.
Pour the water into a bowl and then put the bat in and wait an hour.
Then slice the pangolin meat and put the slices into the bowl and wait another hour.
This soup is to be served cold.
Do not boil the soup as this tends to diminish the taste and lessen the surprising effect:

The soup may cause worldwide prepping.

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

Why is the Sun and the Earth now more similar than before?

Spoiler

Now both have coronas.