Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Keith_McClary]

Who wants to do a vehicle dynamics analysis for a new concept?

It looks to me like the camper wheel is stuck against the pump island curb.

 

[mfb]

Who wants to do a vehicle dynamics analysis for a new concept?

Sounds like a homework problem. When the car accelerates at 3 m/s² in a straight line, what is the initial torque at the front connection? Which part hits the ground first, and at which speed?

 

[Ibix]

Sounds like a homework problem. When the car accelerates at 3 m/s² in a straight line, what is the initial torque at the front connection? Which part hits the ground first, and at which speed?

...and calculate the rise in his insurance premiums when it happens. Express your answer using standard form.

 

[Tom.G]

Would love to watch him (trying) to back that camper into make the utility hookups!

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

I hope they don't go for a coffee break and drink the contents of a petri dish.

 

[fresh_42]

Did you know that you can't get astronomers for speeding?
No astronomer has ever been faster than 0.00004.

 

[mfb]

As seen by some of the particles they study astronomers are traveling at over 99.9999% the speed of light.

 

[Keith_McClary]

The Multiple Universes Theory perfectly explains those photos of me with another woman, Linda – by Professor H.H. Montgomery
ERIC TURKIENICZ, The Beaverton

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

What sits on your shoulder and goes "Pieces of nine!"?

A parroty error.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Did you hear about the Star Wars character who is 3 parts carbon, 1 part phosphorous and 1 part oxygen?

C3PO

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WhatIsGravity]

A mathematician cop pulls over a metaphorically speeding and swerving physicist, but thankfully he let's her go with a warning. Please don't drink and derive.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

I know this feeling :

 

[jack action]

 

[DrGreg]

I can very, very much identify with this one :

My school career wasn't quite as straightforward as that.

At primary school in the 60s, we did calculations in ft+in, or lb+oz, or £+s+d.

At secondary school in the 70s, we did calculations in m+cm, or kg+g, or £+p. A whole lot easier.

(Of course all the above was with pen and paper only; no such thing as calculators.)

 

[Keith_McClary]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/supervillainy
Don't forget the mouseover and the red button.

 

[DennisN]

CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

Oh my gosh, these made me laugh so good! I laughed so much my stomach hurt and I got tears in my eyes, I'm not kidding! I knew some of them. I will save these and send them to some of my wacky computer tech friends.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

Another one on the phone/OS theme:

 

[jack action]

Why do programmers prefer dark mode?

Spoiler: Answer

Because light attracts bugs.

 

[Bandersnatch]

I didn't know where to put this:
Will Any Crap We Put into Graphene Increase Its Electrocatalytic Effect?

We demonstrate in the following text the meaninglessness of the never-ending co-doping of graphene. We decided to follow the hyperbole of ever multiplying dopants; however, instead of using expensive and toxic chemicals such as ammonia, fluorine, chlorine, boranes, etc., we took a page from the pre-Haber–Bosch era and sought natural materials for the fertilization of graphene and used guano as a dopant.

 

[davenn]

 

[Borg]

That's a versatile acthor.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 256527

I quit e v e r y single time.

 

[davenn]

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

for my fellow Monty Python fans ...