Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #6,896
mfb said:
Why are some countries blue and some yellow?
Some countries feel blue over Brexit.
 
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  • #6,897
Not quite a lame joke but a strange , grammatically-correct but my brain rebels against accepting it; seems like a grammatical version of optical illusions where picture seems to show different things depending on the angle and the way you approach them:

Greeks were fighting machines. I am not fighting machines.
 
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  • #6,898
WWGD said:
Greeks were fighting machines. I am not fighting machines.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
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  • #6,899
Ibix said:
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Venezuela flies likely old equipment.
 
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  • #6,900
Ice cream and Banana aren't friends anymore.
Banana split.
 
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  • #6,901
fresh_42 said:
Can't be. Swiss army knives are called Sackmesser in Switzerland. And it does not stick in the gators sack. :cool:
Gators? You mean as in the UF Gators? How would they have a sack?
 
  • #6,902
Another from Groucho:

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, its too dark to read.
 
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  • #6,903
Ha Ha . The dog ate my homework...
 
  • #6,904
nc_ohc=PEg1741ZWS0AX_bVTbc&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq3-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,905
If you need any evidence that Southerners can't handle snow...

Yesterday evening, the Palmetto Curling Club (!) in Greer SC canceled an event on account of snow... about 1" or 2" of it.

(along with lots of schools, churches, etc., according to the crawl along the bottom of the local TV news)
 
  • #6,906
Long distance relationships can work ...when the four of you trust each other.
 
  • #6,907
Worse IT book I ever bought?
The one by this guy, Steven King.
 
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  • #6,908
now that the 48 hour power cut has ended at home, I can start posting fun stuff again :smile:

jim morrisons van.jpg
 
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  • #6,909
WWGD said:
Worse IT book I ever bought?
The one by this guy, Steven King.
I'm not quite sure whether this is a joke, or you just missed the point! In my remembrance some IT projects ...
 
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  • #6,910
And you thought smoking at the pump was risky ...

nc_ohc=3jCVOStssOIAX-3C762&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq3-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,911
jack action said:
And you thought smoking at the pump was risky ...

How shocking
 
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  • #6,912
I've been to a lot of places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone,
you have to be in Cahoots with someone else. I've also never been in Cognito.
I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport,
you have to be driven there.
 
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  • #6,913
davenn said:
I've been to a lot of places
Have you been in Kadinkadoo?
 
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  • #6,914
davenn said:
I've been to a lot of places,
Just don't tell me you've been in Credible. I won't believe it.
 
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  • #6,915
DrGreg said:
Just don't tell me you've been in Credible. I won't believe it.
He has an alibi. I saw him in Flagranti.
 
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  • #6,916
Did you know that there is an Irish pub where physicists are not allowed to enter? It's called Inn Ertia, and you can never get them out again.
 
  • #6,917
fresh_42 said:
Did you know that there is an Irish pub where physicists are not allowed to enter? It's called Inn Ertia, and you can never get them out again.
Ive been nearby in "A Set of Measure zero". All sorts of things happen outside of it.
 
  • #6,918
WWGD said:
Ive been nearby in "A Set of Measure zero". All sorts of things happen outside of it.
Almost always.
 
  • #6,919
Screen Shot 2020-02-11 at 5.09.26 PM.png
 
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  • #6,920
DrGreg said:
Almost always.
Intetesting that some say almost always others say almost everywhere. Maybe almost anyhow?
 
  • #6,921
Neil D. Tyson is not optimistic about prospects of most trips to outer space. Degrasse is not greener for Neil.
 
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  • #6,922
I worked with a guy, by last name DeGrasse. We all called him Moe.
 
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  • #6,923
gmax137 said:
I worked with a guy, by last name DeGrasse. We all called him Moe.
EDIT: We had someone last name Lester. We suggested not to name his kid Moe.
 
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  • #6,924
Kid says to the teacher: "You wouldn't punish me for something I hadn't done, right?"

"Of course not," answers the teacher.

"Good," says the kid "'cos I haven't done my homework."
 
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  • #6,925
Out on a date:
Done with the meal; she did not finish hers.
Waiter: Do you want to box to go?
Her: No, boxing is too violent. You can keep the food!
 
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  • #6,926
haha yup :wink:

choke on gummy bears.jpg
 
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  • #6,927
DrGreg said:
Just don't tell me you've been in Credible. I won't believe it.
Evitable, on the other hand, I would most certainly believe.
 
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  • #6,928
Someone could be in Trouble!

tumblr_p31kmrs8wd1shldcno1_1280.jpg
 
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  • #6,929
Waiter: Do you want take out?
Her. What? Take out what. I just got here.
 
  • #6,930
Ram ramming RAM in a RAM.jpg
 
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