Smart or Attractive? Biology's Debate on Selection

[rewebster]

well---depends


would you rather have him cute, or smart?

----------------

(cute? --what a way to describe a man! :zzz: )

 

[jim mcnamara]

At Evo's age breathing is a criterion we should add to the list...
:ducks:

 

[Evo]

At Evo's age breathing is a criterion we should add to the list...
:ducks:

Yes, breathing, but really bad eyesight is a plus!

Smart is primary, but I have a different appreciation for what cute is. :!)

 

[rewebster]

Yes, breathing, but really bad eyesight is a plus!

from the photos, dd fits in that category (his glasses appear to be magnifying glasses)

Smart is primary, but I have a different appreciation for what cute is. :!)

yes----I think most of us would have to agree with that

so--your vote on your pole is ... both? (I don't see that option)

 

[turbo]

Yes, breathing, but really bad eyesight is a plus!

Smart is primary, but I have a different appreciation for what cute is. :!)

Think Lyle Lovett with a doctorate.

 

[Evo]

so--your vote on your pole is ... both? (I don't see that option)

I made the poll, I can vote for anything I want.

I'd also be willing to accept a short term lease for the holidays. I bought a bunch of firewood, but I have no one to watch it with.

 

[Kurdt]

My masters supervisor looked a bit like DD's father. I have no photos however so Evo will just have to imagine.

 

[rewebster]

rather working from the top down (DD), let's see the LCD list that you have on your "have to's" ...


it may make it easier to find a luke-warm body

 

[Evo]

My masters supervisor looked a bit like DD's father. I have no photos however so Evo will just have to imagine.

I don't want his father. Well, wait, is he breathing?

 

[Evo]

rather working from the top down (DD), let's see the LCD list that you have on your "have to's" ...


it may make it easier to find a luke-warm body

LCD?

 

[jim mcnamara]

I don't want his father. Well, wait, is he breathing?

See? Toldya so.

 

[Kurdt]

I don't want his father. Well, wait, is he breathing?

I don't think he's that much older really, just his hair has turned brilliant white which I thought was quite a nice feature.

 

[rewebster]

LCD=lowest common denominator

-------------

NOT Lavish/Laughing Cerebral Drop-dead handsome

 

[Evo]

LCD=lowest common denominator

-------------

NOT Lavish Cerebral Drop-dead handsome

Thick glasses, reclussive, eccentric, smart, funny, tousled hair, skinny, tall. I love big noses.

Out of all of the men on this forum, you'd think some would fit this description.

 

[Moridin]

Thick glasses, reclussive, eccentric, smart, funny, tousled hair, skinny, tall. I love big noses.

Out of all of the men on this forum, you'd think some would fit this description.

?

 

[rewebster]

Thick glasses, reclussive, eccentric, smart, funny, tousled hair, skinny, tall. I love big noses.

Out of all of the men on this forum, you'd think some would fit this description.

well, I think I have enough now to submit your description of the man you're looking for plus one of those photos you posted to put on match.com and cupid.com------I sure we'll get SOME responses before Xmas----then, again---maybe not...

----------------------

hey--if you're already on those sites (or some other ones)--post a link to your profile

 

[Kurdt]

That dog looks like its in the Blair Witch project.

 

[Evo]

I said skinny.

?

That's more like it, he needs longer tousled hair and glasses though. <sigh>

 

[JasonRox]

Big nose and skinny looks worse!

 

[Evo]

Big nose and skinny looks worse!

nuh-uh

 

[turbo]

Here you go Evo. He's really talented, skinny, quirky, with a big nose and tousled hair. He doesn't wear glasses, but if it helps, he tends to squint when the lights are bright.

http://main.losthighwayrecords.com/artist.aspx?ob=ros&src=lb&aid=54

Be sure to turn up your speakers - good audio clips!

 

[lah214]

I didn't vote at all.

I don't see why everyone thinks we live in a world where we can only choose one or the other.

haha, its not like who your "mate" is will actually depend on this question. Its like would you rather be burned to death, or drown? Obviously you wouldn't actually WANT either of these things to happen to you, its just a tough question that makes you think, haha.

 

[jim mcnamara]

... its just a tough question that makes you think, haha.

Hm.

We're just urinatin' around here making talk and occasionally making sense, too...
The one with the pheromone-iest pee wins, I guess. Who said anything about thinking?
haha, or since Christmas is nigh, hoho.

Or: have you stopped beating your wife? (yes or no)

 

[B. Elliott]

Do you go out much Evo? The reason for asking is that after looking at the pictures you posted in the member photo thread, I don't see how you would have a problem meeting people. The license picture even looks good, and that's a rarity! You're attractive, intelligent, and seem to have your head on straight. You're good to go. Get out there and show them what they're missing.

I think what we need here are some Evo glamor shots.

 

[Evo]

Do you go out much Evo? The reason for asking is that after looking at the pictures you posted in the member photo thread, I don't see how you would have a problem meeting people. The license picture even looks good, and that's a rarity! You're attractive, intelligent, and seem to have your head on straight. You're good to go. Get out there and show them what they're missing.

I think what we need here are some Evo glamor shots.

I don't have trouble finding men that are interested in me, I have troubled finding men that I am interested in. <big sigh>

Men I've met online (with a couple of exceptions) were either boring, lacked a sense of humor, were emotionally over sensitive, or unemployable.

Men that I meet in person are usually shallow, egotistical, and not too bright. That's the kind of men that approach me in person. I have better luck online.

I actually found a homeless guy (online) that was hysterically funny and intelligent, but he was so bitter about his predicament that it ruined everything good about him. I don't know if he really slept in a cardboard box, but I do know that he was having to move in with his mother because he'd been unemployed for so long that he lost his house and car.

 

[turbo]

I don't have trouble finding men that are interested in me, I have troubled finding men that I am interested in. <big sigh>

Men I've met online (with a couple of exceptions) were either boring, lacked a sense of humor, were emotionally over sensitive, or unemployable.

Men that I meet in person are usually shallow, egotistical, and not too bright. That's the kind of men that approach me in person. I have better luck online.

I actually found a homeless guy (online) that was hysterically funny and intelligent, but he was so bitter about his predicament that it ruined everything good about him. I don't know if he really slept in a cardboard box, but I do know that he was having to move in with his mother because he'd been unemployed for so long that he lost his house and car.

How do you know, though? I can often tell in seconds if I'm going to click with someone if we meet in person, but there is no way to gauge that on-line. Between smiles, body-language, evasive reactions to threats of closeness or questions, you can tell a LOT from a person. On-line, people get a lot of time to craft their responses, and there a few of the subtle clues, unless you are a linguist.

Note: From Astronuc's posts on this forum, I had a very high level of confidence that he and I would get along well, and my wife and I thoroughly enjoyed his family's visit. Very nice visit with lots of great conversations in a very short bit of time. He and his wife and kids are welcome here any old time. The big difference was that I took Astronuc at face value from his well-considered posts here. If someone takes a personal interest in you on-line, it may be tough to form an objective opinion of them.

 

[Evo]

How do you know, though? I can often tell in seconds if I'm going to click with someone if we meet in person, but there is no way to gauge that on-line. Between smiles, body-language, evasive reactions to threats of closeness or questions, you can tell a LOT from a person. On-line, people get a lot of time to craft their responses, and there a few of the subtle clues, unless you are a linguist.

Note: From Astronuc's posts on this forum, I had a very high level of confidence that he and I would get along well, and my wife and I thoroughly enjoyed his family's visit. Very nice visit with lots of great conversations in a very short bit of time. He and his wife and kids are welcome here any old time. The big difference was that I took Astronuc at face value from his well-considered posts here. If someone takes a personal interest in you on-line, it may be tough to form an objective opinion of them.

I find just the opposite to be true. I can learn much more about a person online in a short while, I seem to have an uncanny ability to see through phonies and see red flags.

Meeting someone in person, you know absolutely nothing about them and usually have to make a snap decision on whether to give them your phone number and or accept a date. "In person" gives you no time to really evaluate the person you've just met. Anyone can keep up a charade in person for awhile, at least. I usually find after a few e-mails I can "sense" if some things are not quite right about a person. I've never been wrong, all of the people I've met in person after meeting on-line turned out to be exactly the same in person. Some have been close friends for 10+ years.

 

[GleefulNihilism]

I'm just trying to picture a situation where these options or nothing.

The only thing that comes close is the cliche "Stranded on a Desert Island" scenario in which "both" is still a viable option, although if I could only make one happy I'd go for the smart one because she's actually going to help get all 3 of us off the island.

 

[BobG]

How do you know, though? I can often tell in seconds if I'm going to click with someone if we meet in person, but there is no way to gauge that on-line. Between smiles, body-language, evasive reactions to threats of closeness or questions, you can tell a LOT from a person. On-line, people get a lot of time to craft their responses, and there a few of the subtle clues, unless you are a linguist.

Note: From Astronuc's posts on this forum, I had a very high level of confidence that he and I would get along well, and my wife and I thoroughly enjoyed his family's visit. Very nice visit with lots of great conversations in a very short bit of time. He and his wife and kids are welcome here any old time. The big difference was that I took Astronuc at face value from his well-considered posts here. If someone takes a personal interest in you on-line, it may be tough to form an objective opinion of them.

I find just the opposite to be true. I can learn much more about a person online in a short while, I seem to have an uncanny ability to see through phonies and see red flags.

Meeting someone in person, you know absolutely nothing about them and usually have to make a snap decision on whether to give them your phone number and or accept a date. "In person" gives you no time to really evaluate the person you've just met. Anyone can keep up a charade in person for awhile, at least. I usually find after a few e-mails I can "sense" if some things are not quite right about a person. I've never been wrong, all of the people I've met in person after meeting on-line turned out to be exactly the same in person. Some have been close friends for 10+ years.

I read about a study where they showed students 10-30 second video clips of an instructor and asked them to rate the instructor's ability. The ratings of the students watching video clips pretty much matched the ratings of the students that took the semester long courses.

That should work with finding mates, too, shouldn't it?

Okay, I'm a little skeptical, which is why I didn't bother to search for the paper on the students rating the video clips. It's just one of those things that might give you something to think about (value of first impressions, a good instructor has both his verbal and non-verbal communication working on the same page, etc), but probably not a good guide on how to make decisions about someone.

 

[Beeza]

An old friend of mine told me to pick a woman that can cook because when you are older your still going to want to eat 3 times a day, but there will be other things you can no londer do 3 times a day :)

 

[JasonRox]

I read about a study where they showed students 10-30 second video clips of an instructor and asked them to rate the instructor's ability. The ratings of the students watching video clips pretty much matched the ratings of the students that took the semester long courses.

That should work with finding mates, too, shouldn't it?

Okay, I'm a little skeptical, which is why I didn't bother to search for the paper on the students rating the video clips. It's just one of those things that might give you something to think about (value of first impressions, a good instructor has both his verbal and non-verbal communication working on the same page, etc), but probably not a good guide on how to make decisions about someone.

I doubt this is true. I'm sure the experimenters said something relevant about the prof. before the video clip and that itself changes everything.

The problem is when Evo meets someone in public, she has already constructed a role for this man. For example, like she said, shallow, egotistical, and not too bright. (Although she thinks she's open, but the fact that she can put words to describe the general man tells me she clearly isn't.) She's already submitted this person into a "role" sometimes. Once you fall into a "role" within a person's mind, it's really hard to get out. Even though the guy clearly does not fall in that role, people won't let go of the "role" they assigned to them. Anyways, a popular example is the "friend" role. A guy has a hard time picking up a girl where the girl sees the guy as a friend. All guys know this. Another example, is the "role" that you can never be pretty enough.

Anyways, the best thing for Evo to do is to STOP her categorization for men that she meets. Personally it's bad for her and also it shows lack of personality, character and openess on her part. I'd be completely turned off by a girl like that. It's not the job of the man to get out of the "role". It's her job to keep an open mind, listen to him, and make a new judgement for each person, everytime. I mean from a clean start. Let go of the whole shallow, egotistical, and not too bright.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

An old friend of mine told me to pick a woman that can cook because when you are older your still going to want to eat 3 times a day, but there will be other things you can no londer do 3 times a day :)

Two down days. The first time you can't do it twice and the second time you can't do it once.

 

[JasonRox]

but there will be other things you can no londer do 3 times a day :)

Pfff... that's a myth.

 

[Lisa!]

Well if I want to be realistic and have a mate anyway, I have to go for a homely dumb guy! You know if a guy gets intersted in me , he's already proved his dumbness to me and since I don't consider myself attractive at all , he's a homely person anyway.

<I'm keeping my fingers crossed that neither my husband nor my bf would read this post>

 

[Evo]

I doubt this is true. I'm sure the experimenters said something relevant about the prof. before the video clip and that itself changes everything.

The problem is when Evo meets someone in public, she has already constructed a role for this man. For example, like she said, shallow, egotistical, and not too bright. (Although she thinks she's open, but the fact that she can put words to describe the general man tells me she clearly isn't.) She's already submitted this person into a "role" sometimes. Once you fall into a "role" within a person's mind, it's really hard to get out. Even though the guy clearly does not fall in that role, people won't let go of the "role" they assigned to them. Anyways, a popular example is the "friend" role. A guy has a hard time picking up a girl where the girl sees the guy as a friend. All guys know this. Another example, is the "role" that you can never be pretty enough.

Anyways, the best thing for Evo to do is to STOP her categorization for men that she meets. Personally it's bad for her and also it shows lack of personality, character and openess on her part. I'd be completely turned off by a girl like that. It's not the job of the man to get out of the "role". It's her job to keep an open mind, listen to him, and make a new judgement for each person, everytime. I mean from a clean start. Let go of the whole shallow, egotistical, and not too bright.

There you go thinking you know me when you don't know how many hundreds of men I'm talking about meeting in person and how I can group the majority of them. I don't have actual preconceived categories for anyone online or off line, I was just trying to get across what most of the men are like "that I meet in person".

See, you don't realize that when I would "go out", well, this is how a typical night would go. We'd park, I'd step out of the car and suddenly 20 something year old men would start screaming and hooting and whistling.

A couple of them would usually fall to their knees in front of me, there would usually be someone asking me to marry them.

Men would run from across the street and knock my girlfriend over just to tell me that I was the most beautiful woman they'd ever seen.

I'd get guys coming up to me saying things like "my friends and I just wanted to thank you for being here".

A guy came out of the bathroom and said that every guy in there was talking about my legs.

Men would fall down stairs when they saw me.

If there was a line in front of a night club, I'd be pulled into the club by the bouncer and told that I'd been "spotted" and given an MVP pass so I could always just walk right in.

If I went to a restaurant or exclusive bar, the owner would quite often come out to sit with me and comp me and my party.

Once I was meeting someone at the bar at a Marriott, I pointed at their table and motioned for them to come over, instantly two different guys bounced up from their tables and came running up to me thinking I was motioning to them, and my husband was standing next to me.

I got up once at a table in a club in Chicago and started to put on my coat and couple of guys ran over and started helping me.

At a bar here, the owner of the most expessive, exclusive athletic club offered me a free membership. He said based on what he was hearing and observing of men around me, I would be worth my weight in gold to have me there.

I went to have my transmission looked at and the owner offered me the job of being their spokesmodel ( I was 16 and my mom said no).

I could go on and on.

NOW, do you understand why I feel the way I do about going out and meeting men. Nice, shy guys when they'd see all the men around me would never come near me.

So, don't think you know me or why I can make the generalizations I make, and I'm not exaggerating about any of this.