Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

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In summary, Franzbear is the most prolific thread killer in the forum. He has killed at least 12 threads and is likely responsible for 21 more. His ability to kill threads is not a direct outcome of the evidence (number of last posts). You have to at least factor in the total number of posts by each person (posts in GD) to get a more accurate representation of the killer instinct. Franz and Moonie have so many posts here, they are more likely to be the winning killers. You have to divide the number of kills by the total number of posts during the same period to get a corrected distribution.
  • #6,861
Evo said:
Ooh, is Moonbear gone? Did Franzbear pass away in her absence? Shall we declare death to the thread and lock it? :devil:
Time of death was 11:28 AM, todays date.
 
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  • #6,862
zoobyshoe said:
Time of death was 11:28 AM, todays date.
Which time zone? Was that the time of Moonbear's last post? (that's 1:28pm on my clock)
 
  • #6,863
Evo said:
Which time zone? Was that the time of Moonbear's last post? (that's 1:28pm on my clock)
Time of death was 11:28 AM Pacific Time. Moonbear made the call.
 
  • #6,864
It's just lying here suffering...
 
  • #6,865
Evo...please...mercy...
 
  • #6,866
Alright...the thread is officially dead, Moonbear is official thread killer.

(prepares to leave the country when everyone else gets back)
 
  • #6,867
Yeah this thread has had a long run, how about you kill it now. No need to post anymore, just lock it.


EDIT>>>> ^^^^^WTF! :mad:
 
  • #6,868
If I lock the thread, where will everyone go to make these important and meaningful posts?
 
  • #6,869
People will find ways. It does not take long for a thread to get off track, or should I say meaningful and important.
 
  • #6,870
RIP franzbear. You were loved by many. You'll be missed. :cry:
 
  • #6,871
Rip :cry:
 
  • #6,872
In lieu of flowers, the Genco families request contributions be made to franzbear's favorite charity: PF.
 
  • #6,873
Franzbear lives!

It's ALIVE!
 
  • #6,874
OMG!
Franzbear is back from the dead!​
​


​
 
  • #6,875
About bloody time, now perhaps we can stop the ridiculous amount of sensless thread creation that's going on at the moment!
 
  • #6,876
brewnog said:
About bloody time, now perhaps we can stop the ridiculous amount of sensless thread creation that's going on at the moment!
Yeah, right, like this is going to help that. :rolleyes:

Franzbear really is a zombie thread!
 
  • #6,877
zombie?...i'm scared...
 
  • #6,878
yourdadonapogostick said:
zombie?...i'm scared...

She didn't mean that kind of zombie.

She meant the kind you turn into when it's 2am, you're tired, but have nothing better to do than play on PF.
 
  • #6,879
o, good...

i was thinking a zombie bear...scary...
 
  • #6,880
Well, we all know Franzbear couldn't stay dead forever. I had to use my Super Mentor powers to bring him back to stop the rash of senseless threads being created in a futile attempt to fill the void his loss created.

Alright, I am awarding one "get out of banning free" card to the best story of what has happened to franz since his, uhm, untimely demise.
 
  • #6,881
I'm also going to be pruning posts that don't add value to the thread, so don't be surprised if posts disappear.
 
  • #6,882
Okay...wow, it's going to be a long story. Franzbear is already just talking and talking on and on about all his adventures while away. I can't keep up typing. I'll have to just record his story and transcribe it for you later.
 
  • #6,883
Evo said:
Alright, I am awarding one "get out of banning free" card to the best story of what has happened to franz since his, uhm, untimely demise.

You need to change your location, sunshine.

The way I heard it, Franzbear was never actually deceased, but was doing a very good job of playing dead. Franzbear was planning on jumping up out of the coffin at his funeral and surprising everyone by doing a little dance, just after they played Mancini's "Baby Elephant Walk" as they were lowering the coffin into the ground. Unfortunately, the attendees were cheering so loudly that Franzbear missed his cue, so he stayed put for added dramatic effect. Sadly, by the time he realized he'd missed his moment, the amount of soil on top of the coffin was such that he couldn't open the lid, and his shouts of "Hey guys, I was only joking" were muffled. Franzbear spent several days trying to chew his way out of the coffin, but then realized that he'd got his trusty Swiss Army knife in his pocket, which he used to craft a small trowel out of a wooden picture frame which Moonbear had put in the coffin with him. Franzbear then used this makeshift trowel to dig his way to safety, but his sense of direction had been impaired by the darkness, and he unwittingly uncovered an underground elf cave. The elves took Franzbear in, cleaned him up, and made him a nice hot cup of tea, before showing him their slide show of elf hat design through the ages. The chief elf explained to Franzbear that he was now their slave, and had to earn his freedom by working in their elf hat sweatshop. Weeks went by, and Franzbear soon grew tired of hat manufacture, but had been secretly stashing offcuts of fabric, and had also obtained a large number of bamboo canes from the elves raspberry fields. One night, Franzbear snuck out to the shores of the great lake, and tied the bamboo canes together to form a rudimentary sailing vessel, fitted with a small sail woven from strands of hat fabric, and bound together by Franbear's own hair. He eventually got home just after midnight, made some fish finger sandwiches, and went to bed.


Evo said:
I'm also going to be pruning posts that don't add value to the thread, so don't be surprised if posts disappear.

Oh, right. :frown:
 
  • #6,884
brewnog said:
You need to change your location, sunshine.
I am, I am. :-p

The posts being deleted are in the past. Unfortunately when I delete a post, I am sent back to the first page and have to manually page forward again. I'm still on this frapping dialup, so I estimate that I will have the editing finished in approximately 5 years.
 
  • #6,885
Okay, so here's what Franzbear just told me.

Franzbear said:
Whoa, Mom, it was so cool! After the car went over the cliff in that ball of flame, I jumped out the open window and dove into the water below. Wow, it was like, messed up, y'know? So, I was in the water, and noticed I cut my leg somewhere, probably the rock I scraped on the way in. And then, dude, you wouldn't believe the size of the sharks that started showing up, and I thought I was done for. And then, out of nowhere, this killer whale shows up, I mean a real killer whale, like Shamoo dude, not like cool killer...well, that too. A killer killer whale! Ha! So, the sharks just booked it out of there. And the whale was all cool, like, "Wanna ride?" And I was like, "Yeah, cool." So, I like climbed on its back and we headed out to sea. Then I was like, "Dude, I'm thirsty," and the whale was like, "Dude, we're in the ocean," and I was like, "Dude, it's all salt water." So, Zeke...oh, yeah, that was the whale's name, Zeke...so, Zeke takes me to this really cool island. And, I get there, and there's all these like WAAAAYYY HOT babes all over, and they see the cut on my leg, and their all like, "So, what happened," and I was so like, "Oh, nothin' much, just jumped out of a flaming car off a cliff and into the ocean," and I was all totally cool about it, and they were like, so turned on by it, and all fighting over who would bandage my leg. So, I like hung out there for a while. There was this way cool bar, and the drinking age was only 17.6, so I hung out there playing pool and darts, and they had this way cool drink called a Moonbeast, and I got sooooo pissed. I passed out on the beach, and when I woke up, man, I had this killer hangover, and all the hot babes were gone and there were these way hotter babe pirates! So, they were like, "Yaaarrr, ye be comin' wit' us ye scurvy cur!" And I was like, "I hope so, dudettes!" But, then we were way out at sea again, an' this sub just shows up, like outta nowhere, an' all these ninjas just came flying out, and they busted up the pirate ship pretty bad, and took some of the babes as hostages, and whoa, it was just, like, so cool! And then, there was like this huge battle outta nowhere, 'cause these helicopters all showed up, and they were, like, taking me up on a rope ladder they hung out of one of the choppers, and then this other pirate ship shows up, the Galenog, and they start shootin' their cannons at the choppers and shoot a fireball at the rope ladder and the whole ladder, like just suddenly burns through, and I go falling. But, then I landed in this other ship that seemed to just show up outta nowhere, and it had all this zombies and zoobies on it. Wow, they were just sooo cool. The zoobies are, like, all hairy, and they try and act tough, but they're not really, but the zombies are kinda mean, and they, like, made me into one of them. So, then we came into shore to get supplies, and I was like, whoa, dude, I know this place. It was the dock I used to play around as a kid, and some of the sailors, they saw me, and they asked me how my mom was doing, and I was like, "I dunno, I haven't seen her in a while." And they were like all, "Dude, you got to do right by your Mom." And I was like, "Yeah, maybe you're right." And so I got a cab and came home.
 
  • #6,886
Moonbear said:
Okay, so here's what Franzbear just told me.
:smile: That was great! :biggrin:

I still find myself missing the innocent little franz in his flammable pj's. Perhaps he will accidently get locked in his Uncle Artman's experimental time machine and be reverted back to his more innocent youth?
 
  • #6,887
Hey Franzie, Good to see you back, come give your Uncle Toxyn a hug! I promise not to squeeze you as tight as last time, besides you came around quick enough. Ahhhhh...the memories...

Thanks Evo. I'm sure yomamma will be happy, and I haven't seen much of Danger either.
 
  • #6,888
DocToxyn said:
Hey Franzie, Good to see you back, come give your Uncle Toxyn a hug! I promise not to squeeze you as tight as last time, besides you came around quick enough. Ahhhhh...the memories...

Thanks Evo. I'm sure yomamma will be happy, and I haven't seen much of Danger either.
Yeah, were IS yomamma?

I hope the gang can get back together. I'm gathering up all the beavers turtles and sheep that have wandered off.

I miss the good times we had! :cry:

(Moonbear, that was really, REALLY good! You pulled everything together, I'm still snorting! (even though I rubbed flea killer in my right eye :frown: )
 
  • #6,889
Evo said:
I still find myself missing the innocent little franz in his flammable pj's. Perhaps he will accidently get locked in his Uncle Artman's experimental time machine and be reverted back to his more innocent youth?
Yeah, he'll always be my little boy to me, but you just have to give them their wings and hope they have the sense not to fly into a window. :rolleyes:
 
  • #6,890
What a tale! franzbear has been through quite a bit eh... but all the pirates were hot females eh? hrmm... i wonder what my crew has been doing... last i checked they were mostly male... but hey, if brewnie and the rest have suddenly transformed into hot broads... sounds good to me!

i wonder if this time around we should keep a medic on duty to watch over the lad...
 
  • #6,891
Gale17 said:
What a tale! franzbear has been through quite a bit eh... but all the pirates were hot females eh? hrmm... i wonder what my crew has been doing... last i checked they were mostly male... but hey, if brewnie and the rest have suddenly transformed into hot broads... sounds good to me!

i wonder if this time around we should keep a medic on duty to watch over the lad...
I think it was the first pirate ship that was all female. That must've been Captain MIH's crew. He didn't say anything about the male/female ratio on the Galenog, just that they shot him down off the rope ladder. I'm sure he thought the women on the Galenog were hot babes too. :biggrin: :smile: :-p
 
  • #6,892
Y'know, with Evo busy editing out the superfluous posts while we're still posting here, it's going to be really hard racing to the 8500th post! :smile: Sort of like running up the down escalator. :biggrin: I keep getting disoriented. I'll see something in the middle of a page, reply to it, and then find myself at the top of the page. :rolleyes:
 
  • #6,893
Moonbear said:
I think it was the first pirate ship that was all female. That must've been Captain MIH's crew. He didn't say anything about the male/female ratio on the Galenog, just that they shot him down off the rope ladder. I'm sure he thought the women on the Galenog were hot babes too. :biggrin: :smile: :-p


You bet you we are! have you seen brewnie in a bikini! HOT INDEED! that of course is one of the many reasons i chose him as first mate.

oh, and we formally appologize for shooting him off the rope ladder... we heard he was related to that hag we threw off our ship a bit ago...
 
  • #6,894
Moonbear said:
Y'know, with Evo busy editing out the superfluous posts while we're still posting here, it's going to be really hard racing to the 8500th post! :smile: Sort of like running up the down escalator. :biggrin: I keep getting disoriented. I'll see something in the middle of a page, reply to it, and then find myself at the top of the page. :rolleyes:

HAH... that's what's happening then? i didn't know she was slaving away right now... i thought i was just going crazy... i heard its a common side effect of hanging too close to fanzbear... heh, i really thought my memory was just failing me...
"hmm, i thought there was only one reply on this page... oh hmm, i thought franzbear's story was on the page before... Gosh, i really suck at remembering things today..."
 
  • #6,895
Gale17 said:
You bet you we are! have you seen brewnie in a bikini! HOT INDEED! that of course is one of the many reasons i chose him as first mate.
I bet he doesn't look nearly as good in a bikini as Captain Smurf does! :biggrin:

oh, and we formally appologize for shooting him off the rope ladder... we heard he was related to that hag we threw off our ship a bit ago...
:mad: Hag?! Hag!? HAG? :mad:
 

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