Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

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In summary, Franzbear is the most prolific thread killer in the forum. He has killed at least 12 threads and is likely responsible for 21 more. His ability to kill threads is not a direct outcome of the evidence (number of last posts). You have to at least factor in the total number of posts by each person (posts in GD) to get a more accurate representation of the killer instinct. Franz and Moonie have so many posts here, they are more likely to be the winning killers. You have to divide the number of kills by the total number of posts during the same period to get a corrected distribution.
  • #8,261
But, how can you like the movie if you didn't like the soundtrack? It's a musical!
 
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  • #8,262
  • #8,263
Moonbear said:
But, how can you like the movie if you didn't like the soundtrack? It's a mooical!
sprry, I don't speak cow :biggrin:
 
  • #8,264
Careful or you'll experience the first cattle stampede ever to hit...well, wherever it is you live! :biggrin:


...Don't forget to take Franzbear outside with you!
 
  • #8,265
rocketboy said:
meanwhile...

in an underground lab in Canada rocketboy devises a master thread capture plan...

*pulls cover off large device*
*grabs instructions*
"ACME ROCKET ASSEMBLY: follow diagrams carefully"
*throws booklet in the fire*

later...

*posts sign on rocket: "thread safety"*

*moonbear jumps into hide from yomamma, who is running slowly because his mom made him wear his rubber boots to school, he stops to make calculations on his TI-89*

*rocket blasts off, a thread-ionizer-spectromthingy-domelasteromensragal teleports the thread to rocketboys hands*
*waves to the accending rocket*
:smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: Love the references to other threads and posts.
 
  • #8,266
Artman said:
:smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: Love the references to other threads and posts.
You've got to give me more than that to work with here!
 
  • #8,267
Evo said:
Sorry to interrupt, but does anyone know how fast a squirrel can run? Today I was leaving work and I noticed a squirrel running parallel to my car, I looked and I was doing 20mph, he kept pacing me and wasn't even trying, he was just prancing along. How fast can those things go?
Did you ever hear about the three legged chicken?

There was a poultry inspector making his rounds and he was driving to the next farm and this three legged chicken ran up next to his car. He sped up to 60 miles an hour and the chicken sped up right along side him. He sped up to 80 miles an hour and the chicken caught up and then ran past him, leaving him in a cloud of dust! The chicken turned in at the next farm, where the inspector was heading.

The inspector found the farmer and said, "Did you see that three legged chicken run in here?"

The farmer said, "Yep, I bred that chicken here. I figured people like chicken legs so I would breed a chicken with three legs and make a fortune."

"How's it working out for you? Are you selling a lot of the three legged chickens?"

"Probably could except for one thing."

"What's that?"

"I can't catch them." :-p :biggrin:
 
  • #8,268
So, hopefully before Moonbear does it Artman swoops in and ties the thread to a three legged chicken. :biggrin:
 
  • #8,269
Moonbear said:
You've got to give me more than that to work with here!
Hmmmm...

<Thinks of many things to say here, but decides he better not.> :-p
 
  • #8,270
Artman said:
"How's it working out for you? Are you selling a lot of the three legged chickens?"

"Probably could except for one thing."

"What's that?"

"I can't catch them." :-p :biggrin:
:smile: :smile: I'm such a sucker for bad jokes. :smile:

Do you remember years ago they were selling turkeys for Thanksgiving with an extra leg thrown in? (No, it wasn't attached). I kind of always wondered what happened to the rest of the turkey if they could sell the extra drumstick with the whole turkeys at a time when there was no problem selling whole turkeys. They were marketing it as helping prevent the fighting over the legs in families with more than two turkey-leg eaters.
 
  • #8,271
Moonbear said:
:smile: :smile: I'm such a sucker for bad jokes. :smile:

Do you remember years ago they were selling turkeys for Thanksgiving with an extra leg thrown in? (No, it wasn't attached). I kind of always wondered what happened to the rest of the turkey if they could sell the extra drumstick with the whole turkeys at a time when there was no problem selling whole turkeys. They were marketing it as helping prevent the fighting over the legs in families with more than two turkey-leg eaters.
I usually tell that joke with actions, it makes it even more bad (even more bad?? ). :biggrin:

I don't remember the three legged turkey deal, probably because my inlaws always buy the turkey for thanksgiving, and we rarely have it any other time.
 
  • #8,272
Artman had already tied one end of the thread to the three legged chicken, now he ties the other end to an angry mongoose and throws the mongoose into a pit full of snakes. :devil: :smile:


It'll take months to untangle the knots in that thread. heh, heh, heh!
 
  • #8,273
Artman said:
I don't remember the three legged turkey deal, probably because my inlaws always buy the turkey for thanksgiving, and we rarely have it any other time.
Maybe it was just a local thing. I only think it happened one year, and I was still a teenager then. I just remembered thinking the 3-legged turkey idea was pretty funny.
 
  • #8,274
Moonbear said:
Maybe it was just a local thing. I only think it happened one year, and I was still a teenager then. I just remembered thinking the 3-legged turkey idea was pretty funny.
Down the road they were selling one legged turkeys for families that don't like the legs. :biggrin:
 
  • #8,275
Artman said:
Down the road they were selling one legged turkeys for families that don't like the legs. :biggrin:
:smile: :smile: :smile:
 
  • #8,276
Artman said:
Artman had already tied one end of the thread to the three legged chicken, now he ties the other end to an angry mongoose and throws the mongoose into a pit full of snakes. :devil: :smile:


It'll take months to untangle the knots in that thread. heh, heh, heh!
Artman, franzbear is already in class V of untanging, he's already almost done.


okay franzbear, let's get you to the theatre, I got you ina a play with an old nanny who likes to knit, yes, you're the string, I'm sure it won't hurt :rolleyes:

now, just let her knit you...good...

*end of play*

Franzbear, you did excellent! I know, I shouldv't told you that the nanny commits scuicide with you, but you really should''ve supported her better Now the audience is mad. I'll hide you from them.

*to audience* PSST!...he's right here!

:smile: :rolleyes:
 
  • #8,277
You let her make him into a pot holder?! What sort of friend are you?
 
  • #8,278
he loved it! and he got to catch up on his reading. He's reading some book called immortality by franzneitzche
 
  • #8,279
reading rots teh mind!
 
  • #8,280
so does spaghetti
 
  • #8,281
blasphemy!1one111
 
  • #8,282
spaghetti is only good with lots of sauce to drown out the taste :approve:
 
  • #8,283
Oh, there's an idea! Franzbear, hop into this big tub of sauce. Why? It's good for your complexion.

I'll be right back. Where am I going? Oh, just to bring around the starving grad students. :rolleyes:
 
  • #8,284
*turns on sauce burner*

It's like a hot tub. we can't serve you to-- I mean :redface: serve you with this...spa treatment...without... heat :redface: :rolleyes:

Now, bring out the spaghetti! Why? ummm...it's almost dinnertime! :smile:
 
  • #8,285
*sniff sniff* Do I smell something burning? Oh, it's that sauce! Oh no! I guess we didn't really need those blow torches to heat it. :rolleyes:
 
  • #8,286
i need about 10 gallons of liquid nitrogen..

gonna make 2 gallons of icecream :-p
 
  • #8,287
time to put the sauce on the noodles...
*pour*

oh...that looks delicious! let's dig in! *munch*

What's that little white thing that looks like a thread? oh, well... *munch*
 
  • #8,288
yomamma said:
What's that little white thing that looks like a thread? oh, well... *munch*
Oh, it's nothing. Spaghetti is supposed to look like that.
 
  • #8,289
oh...no matter, I ate it :biggrin:
 
  • #8,290
:cry: You ate Franzbear! Now you're going to have to wait for him to...umm...pass.
 
  • #8,291
Just kidding :biggrin: that other guy ate him. he 'passed' and he's really not the same. he tried to hang himself with bear!
 
  • #8,292
*dons biohazard suit* Okay, I'm going in. Cover me!

*scrubs Franzbear in boiling water* Hold still, we have to get you disinfected! *pours ethanol on Franzbear* Hey, quit drinking that!
*remembers microbiology training...disinfect instruments by flaming them after dipping in alcohol* No, you're not going anywhere yet!
*lights match and touches it to Franzbear* Ooh, look at him burn. Quit screaming! You have to let all the alcohol burn off.
I don't want to take any chances here, there are just nasty, nasty, nasty bacteria where you just came from. *pours hospital grade Lysol on Franzbear* Oh, sorry, that probably stings a bit after the burns. :rolleyes:

Okay, I think you're disinfected. Here, smear some of this jelly on the burns, it'll feel better. :smile: Oh, nevermind that label, it's not really napalm, I just reused the container. o:) :rolleyes:
 
  • #8,293
umm...that was my nitroglycerin... :rolleyes:


BOOOMM!
 
  • #8,294
Oh, oops, my mistake. :redface:
 
  • #8,295
okay, bear! is okay. kiashoe has gotten off the steroids.

Yovo got an F- in ALL of his classes, exept for home ec, he got an A...
 

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