Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

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In summary, Franzbear is the most prolific thread killer in the forum. He has killed at least 12 threads and is likely responsible for 21 more. His ability to kill threads is not a direct outcome of the evidence (number of last posts). You have to at least factor in the total number of posts by each person (posts in GD) to get a more accurate representation of the killer instinct. Franz and Moonie have so many posts here, they are more likely to be the winning killers. You have to divide the number of kills by the total number of posts during the same period to get a corrected distribution.
  • #141
franznietzsche said:
Dressed in his best sailor suit, franz spots moonbear leaving artman man's boat. Sauntering up, he walks up to her and starts a conversation, the disguis seems to be working, and she's already trying to pick him up.

Deftly flirting he reaches into her pocket, grabs the thread, and then pushes her off the dock and into the water, walking off to his car.
Artman happens back with his supplies and watches the entire exchange between Moonbear and the sailor, who he easily recognizes as Franz. He waits until Franz has pushed Moonbear in the water then, as Franz is walking toward his car, he unleashs the angry, horny Rhino. The rhino, very turned on by the sailor suit, begins running after Franz, who runs off screaming and drops the thread, which Artman scoops up and carries to his boat. he sets the craft free and heads out to sea with the thread and his materials to kill it.
 
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  • #142
Moonbear surfaces, sputtering. But it seems the commotion has attracted the attention of some real sailors. While one reaches down to help pull Moonbear back up onto the dock, three others take off after franz. They promise not to hurt his pretty face while they render him writhing and groaning on the ground alongside his car.

One picks up the thread and they all saunter back to Moonbear, grinning ear to ear (women in wet clothing have that effect on sailors). "I believe this was yours Ma'am."

Moonbear graciously accepts the thread back from them, flutters her eyelashes a bit, and feigns a little limp so one of them offers to hold her and assist her walking back with them where they'll help take care of her wet clothes. Moonbear is ecstatic; she just got the thread AND the sailors.

Edit: Darn! Artman beat me to it! Can I still keep the sailors?
 
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  • #143
Badly wounded, but still victorius, franz smirks at the woaked moonbear being escorted away by the sailors as the pulls the thread out of his glove box. Having had the foresight to keep a forgery in his pocket and hide the real thing he has had the last laugh. He starts the car and drives off quickly, before moonbear can figure out the truth.
 
  • #144
Moonbear said:
Darn! Artman beat me to it! Can I still keep the sailors?
Sure.

That should keep her busy. I guess I can put down the electroejaculator that I was going to poke the wet Moonbear with.

I think you will find, Franz, that you have an artifical thread. (The one attached to Tribdog's..., uh, let's just say it's tribdog's.)
 
  • #145
What franz doesn't realize is that the dock master, who sees everything, spotted him stashing the thread into the glovebox. He rescued it while franz was scuffling with the sailors, and replaced it with a forgery of his own.

The dock master calls the coast guard to go fetch Artman, knowing he has no navigational skills and will need rescuing, and then sets off to Dock 21 where the sailors have gone with Moonbear. The dock master, being an old salty dog has seen pretty much everything, and knows better than to toussle with a group of sailors. He stands on the dock alongside the ship and tosses the thread to the sailor on deck. "Give this to the little lady, maybe she can use it to cover up a bit," he instructs gruffly. The sailor chuckles and gladly sets off with his excuse to return the thread to Moonbear, now resting comfortably in the bunks, wrapped in a blanket while waiting for her clothes to dry.
 
  • #146
Moonbear said:
What franz doesn't realize is that the dock master, who sees everything, spotted him stashing the thread into the glovebox. He rescued it while franz was scuffling with the sailors, and replaced it with a forgery of his own.

The dock master calls the coast guard to go fetch Artman, knowing he has no navigational skills and will need rescuing, and then sets off to Dock 21 where the sailors have gone with Moonbear. The dock master, being an old salty dog has seen pretty much everything, and knows better than to toussle with a group of sailors. He stands on the dock alongside the ship and tosses the thread to the sailor on deck. "Give this to the little lady, maybe she can use it to cover up a bit," he instructs gruffly. The sailor chuckles and gladly sets off with his excuse to return the thread to Moonbear, now resting comfortably in the bunks, wrapped in a blanket while waiting for her clothes to dry.
By the way, like I said, that's the "Tribdog thread" that you are covering your naked body with. :bugeye:
 
  • #147
Artman said:
By the way, like I said, that's the "Tribdog thread" that you are covering your naked body with. :bugeye:


The real thread is in my hands, nice try though.
 
  • #148
Artman said:
By the way, like I said, that's the "Tribdog thread" that you are covering your naked body with. :bugeye:

As soon as the sailor enters the bunks and holds out the thread, Moonbear recognizes it too is a fake thread. She realizes there isn't much else to do now than wait for the Coast Guard to bring Artman and his houseboat back to shore. She'll just have to find a way to while away the time until the Coast Guard returns. She allows her blanket to slip a bit as she sets aside the fake thread and gives a big smile as she thanks the sailor for delivering it.
 
  • #149
Moonbear said:
She allows her blanket to slip a bit as she sets aside the fake thread and gives a big smile as she thanks the sailor for delivering it.
You sound like a fasinating woman. How about we share the thread kill to keep it away from Franz? :-p
 
  • #150
Artman said:
You sound like a fasinating woman. How about we share the thread kill to keep it away from Franz? :-p

MINE MINE MINE

*foaming mouth*

MINE MINE MINE

 
  • #151
Frightened by the foam oozing out of franz's mouth, arildno graps the thread from him and runs off
 
  • #152
arildno said:
Frightened by the foam oozing out of franz's mouth, arildno graps the thread from him and runs off


MINE MINE MINE

*goes tazzy devil on arildno's arse*

MINE MINE MINE
 
  • #153
arildno said:
Frightened by the foam oozing out of franz's mouth, arildno graps the thread from him and runs off
Geez arildno, I was going to share that with Moonbear. Now what am I going to do with this electroejaculator, slip-n-slide and this 20 gallons of Jello?
 
  • #154
Artman said:
Geez arildno, I was going to share that with Moonbear. Now what am I going to do with this electroejaculator...

*resisting the temptation to say it* :smile:
 
  • #155
Artman said:
Geez arildno, I was going to share that with Moonbear. Now what am I going to do with this electroejaculator, slip-n-slide and this 20 gallons of Jello?
Get a room with moonbear? :-p
 
  • #156
Arildno screams in fright, and disappears from the thread-killer thread forever..
 
  • #157
arildno said:
Arildno screams in fright, and disappears from the thread-killer thread forever..

One down. Artman, how do you suggest we scare off franz? Perhaps if I just let the blanket fall a little further...that seems to really disturb franz me being almost old enough to be his mother. :smile:
 
  • #158
Moonbear said:
One down. Artman, how do you suggest we scare off franz? Perhaps if I just let the blanket fall a little further...that seems to really disturb franz me being almost old enough to be his mother. :smile:
Great suggestion! Maybe if we can get a hold of a Franz's mother mask...
:smile: :smile:
 
  • #159
Moonbear said:
One down. Artman, how do you suggest we scare off franz? Perhaps if I just let the blanket fall a little further...that seems to really disturb franz me being almost old enough to be his mother. :smile:


*twitch twitch twitch*

I'd be careful, i told you, if my head explodes, i'll make sure to get all the bloody gushy juicy parts all over you!
 
  • #160
franznietzsche said:
*twitch twitch twitch*

I'd be careful, i told you, if my head explodes, i'll make sure to get all the bloody gushy juicy parts all over you!

Meh, I'm a biologist, bloody gushy juicy parts don't scare me.

*Looks around for mask of franz's mother's face*
 
  • #161
"last one," said tribdog, as he tightened the tiny screw. the relief was evident. "I didn't think I'd ever finish." It had taken most of the past two days, but finally his quantum tunneling time machine was finished.
This had better work, he thought, knowing there would be no second chance. He quickly stripped off his clothes, revealing his long, hard mathematical equation tattooed across his chest. the equation that made this time machine possible. He climbed into the time machine, curled up into the fetal position being careful to shield a tender spot on the back of his head and spoke the command to begin.
A computer voice began speaking, "thank you for choosing QT Travel. If you would like to travel through time please press or say one. If you would like to speak to an operator please press or say two."
"One" said tribdog.
"If you would like to travel into the future please press or say one. If you would like to travel into the past please press or say two."
"Two" tribdog said
"If you would like to travel 2 days into the past please press or say one. If you would like to travel 1.5 days into the past please say or press 2 if you would like to travel 6 minutes into the past please say or press three. If you would like to travel 198,998 years into the past please say or press four."
"two? no one. ONE!" said tribdog.
"too late." said the computer. "two it is. Have a pleasant trip."
Tribdog saw the entire universe move about a foot to the left and a bell said "ding"
Climbing out of the time machine tribdog saw someone sitting at his computer. I hope I'm not too late he thought as he picked up his television and brought it down on the head of the handsome young man sitting at his computer.
"Ouch, what'd you do that for" the young man said, turning around. "Hey, you are me. Why don't you have any clothes on? Wow, that sure is a long, hard thing you have there. What is that? Calculus?"
"Shut up!" said tribdog, interrupting himself. "I've come back to stop you. You must not, under any circumstance, post a topic about the top thread killers on PF, what happens if you do is horrible."
"I already sent it." said the younger tribdog.
"Oh no. but maybe it's not too late. You need to build a time machine and go back to before you send that post. With two of us it should be a lot easier building this time machine. If fact we can take mine apart so you can use the pieces to build yours." said the future tribdog.
"Why can't I just use yours?" asked the younger.
"Clever," said the elder, "I hadn't thought of that."
Suddenly there was a sound behind the two tribdogs. they turned to see another one of themselves standing there, naked. He held something long and hard in his hands. It was a flame thrower.
"Sorry," said the newest, oldest tribdog. " the thread killer thread is bad, but its nothing compared to multiple mes." Flames shot out and obliterated two of the three tribdogs. "We'll just have to hope the thread killers don't cause too much damage.
 
  • #162
Moonbear said:
Meh, I'm a biologist, bloody gushy juicy parts don't scare me.

*Looks around for mask of franz's mother's face*
But slurping spiders do..oh dear, I'm in the thread-killer thread again
 
  • #163
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****


Now if that doesn't get me the thread kill, well, i'll just run this one to 2,000 posts and have you all begging me to stop again. That'll give me the win.
 
  • #164
Nope,u just put it to sleep for about 1 minute.I woke it up again...:wink:

Daniel.
 
  • #165
dextercioby said:
Nope,u just put it to sleep for about 1 minute.I woke it up again...:wink:

Daniel.


WEll then i' settle for killing you.

*brandishes hatchet*
 
  • #166
Franz,is that foul language,or are u testing a new keyboard...?

Daniel.
 
  • #167
Damn,the order of messages got screwed up.I think i'll need Tribby's time quantum machine to repair it...

Daniel.
 
  • #168
Has anyone ever tested this before? What happens when you get several people together who all need to get the last word in and are all too stubborn to concede defeat? I think we've entered seriously dangerous uncharted territory. For your own safety, everyone else better leave quickly.
 
  • #169
It all boils down to who can finish last fastest.
 
  • #170
Moonbear said:
Has anyone ever tested this before? What happens when you get several people together who all need to get the last word in and are all too stubborn to concede defeat? I think we've entered seriously dangerous uncharted territory. For your own safety, everyone else better leave quickly.

Yes,i agree,but first show us how to leave,PERMANENTLY... :-p

Daniel.
 
  • #171
tribdog said:
It all boils down to who can finish last fastest.

LOL! Well, according to Evo, we know you're quick to the finish, but I'm not sure if that'll give you the stamina to get to the end of this thread. :biggrin:
 
  • #172
And u may take Franz with you...And Artman & Trib...:-p

Daniel.
 
  • #173
Moonbear said:
Has anyone ever tested this before? What happens when you get several people together who all need to get the last word in and are all too stubborn to concede defeat? I think we've entered seriously dangerous uncharted territory. For your own safety, everyone else better leave quickly.


PLease Moonbear, like i would fall for that. Give me some credit at least. Gosh.


You know, this one time i was driving my car around late at night. Man it as some vicious weather that night, let me tell you. Downright wicked. There was an eclipse too, under the clouds. And many werewolfs. Many many werewolfs. ANd vampires. And they were fighting Over this thread. Was i dreaming?
 
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  • #174
Sad thing is that this thread is going to never die. Unless I kill all of you, then I would win...
 
  • #175
franznietzsche said:
PLease Moonbear, like i would fall for that. Give me some credit at least. Gosh.


You know, this one time i was driving my car around late at night. Man it as some vicious weather that night, let me tell you. Downright wicked. There was an eclipse too, under the clouds. And many werewolfs. Many many werewolfs. ANd vampires. And they were fighting Over this thread. Was i dreaming?

Yes,i'm the tallest of you all.I'm the Vampire State Building... :cool: :-p

Daniel.

P.S.*runs with the thread,yet again*
 

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