Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

[The_Professional]

We fart, but they aren't as lethal (hence being able to sneak them without you noticing).

Let's not go there...

/covers nose

 

[BicycleTree]

I think all farts smell about the same, and I read somewhere that women (being smaller) do fart somewhat less than men. Also vegetarians have more flatulence than meat-eaters.

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, geez, HUCK! *grabs gas mask*

 

[SOS2008]

This reminds me of another birthday card--I wanted to get it for MIH. It said something like: "Is it your birthday? I thought those farts smelled like cake"

And to digress further (in the digress thread that it is) I use to work with a girl whose husband would hold her under the blankets and fart. SO romantic.

 

[cronxeh]

gah..

*shakes head and leaves*

 

[Moonbear]

And to digress further (in the digress thread that it is) I use to work with a girl whose husband would hold her under the blankets and fart. SO romantic.

Thanks, sometimes it's good to be reminded why being single is a good thing!

 

[Huckleberry]

I think all farts smell about the same, and I read somewhere that women (being smaller) do fart somewhat less than men. Also vegetarians have more flatulence than meat-eaters.

You probably haven't smelled too many farts then. HAve you seen the movie "Sideways"? Farts have a flavor and a texture that can relate to you the overall health and diet of an individual.

Huck MoM

 

[Huckleberry]

This reminds me of another birthday card--I wanted to get it for MIH. It said something like: "Is it your birthday? I thought those farts smelled like cake"

And to digress further (in the digress thread that it is) I use to work with a girl whose husband would hold her under the blankets and fart. SO romantic.

Can you imagine that going to divorce court? Could that be considered assault?

 

[Moonbear]

I think all farts smell about the same, and I read somewhere that women (being smaller) do fart somewhat less than men. Also vegetarians have more flatulence than meat-eaters.

You probably haven't smelled too many farts then. HAve you seen the movie "Sideways"? Farts have a flavor and a texture that can relate to you the overall health and diet of an individual.

I'm thinking he must be an only child. Maybe he has a sister, but he couldn't have had any brothers if he hasn't been exposed to the finer nuances of fart smells. (Don't worry BT, you haven't missed out on anything worth experiencing. )

 

[cronxeh]

I think the reason PF administration decided not to count posts from GD is because of Moonbear. Her spam-o-meter counter would lag the forums

 

[Moonbear]

I think the reason PF administration decided not to count posts from GD is because of Moonbear. Her spam-o-meter counter would lag the forums

Hey, it's not spam! It might not be high brow, but it is conversation. If they counted GD posts, I'd probably have a post count to rival Russ_Watters'! I just have a serious addiction to this thread.

 

[cronxeh]

now now.. its alright

*hug*

lets go ill make you green tea and we can talk all about your addiction.. *hands over the bunny slippers*

Tell me about your childhood..

 

[Math Is Hard]

I think the reason PF administration decided not to count posts from GD is because of Moonbear. Her spam-o-meter counter would lag the forums

how do you pronounce that, anyway? Is it SPAM-O-meter or spam-AH-meter?

 

[Math Is Hard]

awww... thready... what are you doing still up? can't you sleep?
come here, schmoonchkin, I will sing you a little song my grand-mama use to sing to me. She sang it in New Zealandish, but I will translate.

Good night, little thready, lullaby~~
No one here really wants you to die.
if you wake in the night with a thirst~~
don't ask SOS for water- she'll poison it first.

there, now.. sleep tight!

 

[Moonbear]

now now.. its alright

*hug*

lets go ill make you green tea and we can talk all about your addiction.. *hands over the bunny slippers*

Tell me about your childhood..

*sniffles, rubs eyes* Bunny slippers! I remember my bunnies. There was Bugsy and Pointsettia, which were my rabbits. They were supposed to be a male and a female, but my parents were a bit challenged when it came to determining the sex of pets they bought for me, so they wound up both being females. Then they decided they'd try to get a male rabbit (they wanted to breed them, though I don't know what plans they had for the baby bunnies since I was too young), and they brought home a really cute black and white rabbit that we named Patches. But they gave that one to my sister. (I didn't like sharing pets with my sister, especially since Patches was the only friendly one that liked being held and petted.) Well, it turns out Patches was a girl bunny too, so there were no baby bunnies to be had, and my parents gave up on buying bunnies.

We then moved onto guinea pigs. My parents were no longer interested in the pet breeding idea, so attempted to get two females, and sure enough, we got a male and a female. There was Muppet and Moppet (hey, I was only 5 when I got to name them). Moppet died, so they bought Moppet II. They were supposed to be kept in separate cages, but I felt sorry for them not being allowed to play together...they really liked playing together. Little did I know that I would start my life of animal breeding at 5 years old. Muppet (thereafter known as Mama) and Moppet II had three baby guinea pigs...a black male with just a white spot on his nose, who I named Spooky (he was my favorite; actually, he was everyone's favorite, just a friendly little thing), an orange and black female that I named Ding (hey, do I have to keep reminding you I was only 5?), and then an all brown one that I wanted to name Dong, but my parents insisted I couldn't name my guinea pigs Ding and Dong, so I went with the rather bland name Cocoa. Poor Cocoa grew up to resent his boring name and turned bad. We had to give him away because he kept fighting with his brother and kept biting me when I tried to play with him.

Oh, I forgot the parakeets. I had blue parakeets (as far back as I can remember, we had a parakeet). They were named Tiny. Yep, all of them. Then, one day Tiny got sick and went to the vet and came back as a green parakeet! It was the medicine they gave him, uh huh, that's what my mommy told me. I eventually learned that my mommy lied to me about a lot of things like that. Santa Claus was a big lie, and so was the Easter Bunny and even the Tooth Fairy! Is it any wonder I wound up so messed up as an adult, with all those lies my mommy told me as a child!

 

[SOS2008]

awww... thready... what are you doing still up?

...don't ask SOS for water- she'll poison it first.

Whoo-whoa hold on there. I've been afraid I might become the greatest thread killer of all time. But I don't want to be a killer--really I don't.

And now we return to the next episode of "PF Couch"

They were supposed to be a male and a female (they wanted to breed them...

Are you sure?

They were supposed to be kept in separate cages, but I felt sorry for them not being allowed to play together...they really liked playing together. Little did I know that I would start my life of animal breeding at 5 years old.

Uh-hum, and an interest in sex as well?

...I wanted to name Dong, but my parents insisted I couldn't...

Thank goodness there was some supervision on this one.

Maybe we can find some more green tea. Thanks for the night-nite story.

 

[Huckleberry]

5 year olds make the coolest pet names. I remember my first pet. It was a grey and brown striped cat. Looked something like a calico. My sister and I had the responsibility to name him. I went first (cause I was older ) and decided on Charlie. My sister, who was 4 or 5 at the time decided on Chin. So we called him Charlie Chin. He was the bestestest cat ever. The only cat I ever knew who would come when you called him. He took his time about it, but he always came over. Somebody ran over him one day and I saw my father digging a hole by a stone near the road.

Huck MoM

 

[Moonbear]

I went first (cause I was older ) and decided on Charlie. My sister, who was 4 or 5 at the time decided on Chin. So we called him Charlie Chin.

Cool name for a cat! When I was 5, it never occurred to me to give a pet a people name. But I like how you gave your cat two names. Very cute.

Somebody ran over him one day and I saw my father digging a hole by a stone near the road.

That's such a sad story!

 

[Huckleberry]

Yeah, I was upset for a long time about Mr. Chin. Just a few months ago I passed the place I used to live then and I saw where the rock was. It's not there anymore but I remember the place. The first thing I thought was "That's where Charlie Chin is."

That cat made a strong impression on me. We had several pets later and some of them didn't even get names. They never really imprinted on me. I don't know if it was because I was getting older or if Charlie Chin was just an awesome cat. I prefer to think as Charlie Chin as an awesome cat. It seems to give his memory more meaning to me.

Huck MoM

 

[Artman]

We fart, but they aren't as lethal (hence being able to sneak them without you noticing).

Won't Artman be pleased when he returns and sees what new lows this thread has sunk to?

I just can't believe this! Poor little Franzbear! the lanquage that he is being subjected to.



So, did you hear about the old lady that went to the doctor and told him, "Doctor, I keep passing gas. Now, they don't smell bad and they are silent but it happens all the time."

The doctor said, "Here are some pills, take these and come back to me in a week."

A week later the lady came back and said, "Doctor, I took those pills and they don't work. I'm still passing gas, they're still silent, but now it smells awful!"

The doctor said, "Okay, we've corrected your sinus problem; now let's see what we can do about your hearing."

 

[Danger]

Geez, it just isn't safe to turn my back on you lot for a second, is it? I think that this is going to hurt my typing fingers. (Here Lucy...)

wearing your poofy hat while you resurrected it?

Did the term 'poofy hat' even exist back when you went bareheaded, or is there a correlation?

Perhaps you should get your wife to volunteer over there

It would probably cramp his style having her so close, but I would be interested in meeting her... (purely from an anthropological perspective, of course).

I don't know if it's okay to swoop upon a fellow minion

Please...

The men I go hunting with

With or for?

Who can fart for volume (sound and cubic area), toxicity and duration. Who can urinate for distance.

Just make sure not to combine them. Those liquid farts are the worst!

Just how do men manage to accomplish such lethal farts anyway?

Practise, baby... lots of practise. (And a carefully selected diet. It's the only possible reason to eat brocolli.)

This reminds me of another birthday card--I wanted to get it for MIH. It said something like: "Is it your birthday? I thought those farts smelled like cake"

Just be damned careful with the candles...

And to digress further (in the digress thread that it is) I use to work with a girl whose husband would hold her under the blankets and fart. SO romantic.

That 'mistake' of mine that married my best friend, after living with him for over a year, wanted to have him put in his wedding vows that he wouldn't do that any more.

Cool name for a cat! When I was 5, it never occurred to me to give a pet a people name. But I like how you gave your cat two names. Very cute.

I'm not going to, at this point, say anything about my first favourite cat. The last one before Lucy, I bought from the Calgary animal shelter when he was 10 years old. His favourite thing was to run up my body and wrap himself around my neck like a stole. That's how I carried him. He'd stay there for hours. The only problem was that if he started to slip, I'd have holes in my shoulders for a week. He was a tortoise-shell. I hate Siamese cats only because their voices are so annoying. This sucker was 16 pounds, and turned out to have a Siamese voice in proportion to his size. And he never shut up. All bloody day and half the night hollering for no reason at all. My mother named him 'Dingbat McBeth'. 'Dingbat' from the Gilbert and Sullivan song about 'Dingbat the singing cat; he sang so loud that he sang flat', and 'McBeth' from the Shakespeare quote that 'McBeth murders sleep'. He died almost exactly on his 20th birthday, and, good little atheist that I am, I talked to him for 2 hours while I buried him in his favourite sweater and Kitty Litter.
Lucy, incidentally, is the only cat I've ever known who has absolutely no idea what 'kitty' means, but answers to her name.

So, did you hear about the old lady that went to the doctor... ... let's see what we can do about your hearing."

I don't have the energy or eyesight to proof this, so pardon any typos.

 

[hypatia]

I shoot a 510 for deer..and a few beer cans

 

[Danger]

I shoot a 510 for deer..and a few beer cans

My buddy used to drive a 510; I never knew it could be converted to a weapon.

Okay, that was pretty lame. That sort of sounds like a Mossberg number, but I don't see it in my catalogues (they're from the 70's). 12 gauge? Rifle? RPG?

 

[Moonbear]

Wow, this thread hasn't gotten very far since last night. I was sure that since I wasted so much time in the biology forum this morning...erm...maybe wasted isn't the right word ...that I'd find pages of new posts waiting for me here.

C'mon slackers, stop sitting on your hands and get to typing!

 

[Huckleberry]

You think Danger is upset he wasn't present for all the fart jokes?

Danger, that cat sounds awesome. I'm not sure it is a cat though. It could have been an unfortunate parrot the way it sits on your shoulder and sings.

Huck MoM

 

[BicycleTree]

Wow, this thread hasn't gotten very far since last night. I was sure that since I wasted so much time in the biology forum this morning...erm...maybe wasted isn't the right word ...that I'd find pages of new posts waiting for me here.

C'mon slackers, stop sitting on your hands and get to typing!

You're disappointed at few new posts?

I think that by now everyone has fully abandoned the idea of killing the thread.

 

[arildno]

You're disappointed at few new posts?

I think that by now everyone has fully abandoned the idea of killing the thread.

It seems she's more interested in duelling&swordplay at the moment.

 

[Artman]

I don't have the energy or eyesight to proof this, so pardon any typos.

But your sinuses and hearing are okay now?

 

[cronxeh]

I have very bad news.. sniff

today my dear Sharp Zaurus SL-5000D PDA has suffered a Massive Pixel Loss (MPL) on its beautiful 3.5" screen. I'm currently in a state of shock and despair. Please pray for my little Zaurus and hope the service center in Texas where the screen services will be held next week will take a good care of it. I'm hoping to get a replacement LCD screen for under $150, but you never know. This is a truly sad day in cronxville

AAGH! WHY! WHY MY LITTLE ZAURUS!

 

[Artman]

It seems she's more interested in duelling&swordplay at the moment.

...And swashbuckling.

(I left my swash unbuckled once and it ended up down around my knees.)

 

[Evo]

I have very bad news.. sniff

today my dear Sharp Zaurus SL-5000D PDA has suffered a Massive Pixel Loss (MPL) on its beautiful 3.5" screen. I'm currently in a state of shock and despair. Please pray for my little Zaurus and hope the service center in Texas where the screen services will be held next week will take a good care of it. I'm hoping to get a replacement LCD screen for under $150, but you never know. This is a truly sad day in cronxville

AAGH! WHY! WHY MY LITTLE ZAURUS!

That is indeed very sad cronxeh. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

[arildno]

...And swashbuckling.

(I left my swash unbuckled once and it ended up down around my knees.)

As long as you unbuckle with a swash, rather than with a swish, it's okay with me.

 

[Math Is Hard]

swish-buckling?

 

[franznietzsche]

swish-buckling?

Sounds dangerous...

 

[arildno]

Sounds dangerous...

Agreed. You'd better watch your back, franz..