Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

  • Thread starter tribdog
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Thread
In summary, Franzbear is the most prolific thread killer in the forum. He has killed at least 12 threads and is likely responsible for 21 more. His ability to kill threads is not a direct outcome of the evidence (number of last posts). You have to at least factor in the total number of posts by each person (posts in GD) to get a more accurate representation of the killer instinct. Franz and Moonie have so many posts here, they are more likely to be the winning killers. You have to divide the number of kills by the total number of posts during the same period to get a corrected distribution.
  • #3,186
cronxeh said:
women, man, they are like quantum mechanics. nobody understands them, and the select few that do are not understood by anyone else. its like you think you know it, but you do not
Tell us all about it...maybe we can help. :smile:
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #3,187
Danger said:
So? You could drop the sucker in the middle of the Arctic Ocean and he'd find an island with internet access if it meant he could twit me. (I know, because it's mutual.) :biggrin:


A programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angelos to New York. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don’t know the answer, I pay you $5."

Again the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep.

The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says "Ok, if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don’t know the answer, I’ll pay you $50!"

This catches the engineer’s attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The programmer asks the first question: "What is the distance from the Earth to the moon?"

The engineer doesn’t say a word, but simply reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the programmer. Now, it’s the engineer’s turn. He asks the programmer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"

The programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with the modem and searches the net and the library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his coworkers - all to no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the engineer and hands him $50. He politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.

The programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the engineer and asks, "Well, so what’s the answer?" Without a word, the engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
 
  • #3,188
SOS2008 said:
Tell us all about it...maybe we can help. :smile:
Don't answer that! She's on a recon run for the Sisterhood. Anything you say will eventually be held against you. :bugeye:
 
  • #3,189
Danger said:
So? You could drop the sucker in the middle of the Arctic Ocean and he'd find an island with internet access if it meant he could twit me. (I know, because it's mutual.) :biggrin:
It was a long cold swim but...Danger, your wait is over! :biggrin: I'm here!

SOS2008 said:
Yes, please! And I think it will be better if it comes from you.
Thank you SOS2008, I know how much fun this could have been for you, or for that matter anyone who truly appreciates the finer points of our friend Danger. Once again, thank you for allowing me the opportunity. :biggrin:

So, what is the "Little Bus" reference? Let me begin with another question: Did you go to the zoo much in school? Like almost every day? With all of the other classes, perhaps? :smile:

On their many trips to the zoo, the special classes in the USA would go by bus, a small bus. This bus was full of a loving, kind, group of terribly-picked-on children that happed to also be intellectually challenged. They called these the special classes in USA schools (not sure what they call them now).

So basically she insulted you, but it's cool cause she let me tell you about it. :biggrin:

We only pick on you because you have a cool sense of humor (also because I know you would not let an opportunity go by to get me as well. :biggrin: )
 
  • #3,190
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."

[dramatic pause]

"Hi George. Say what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?"

The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad, I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my opthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
 
  • #3,191
ARTMAN! you're finally here. I was just dying to tell that story. I would have embellished a few more points. :biggrin:

As far as I know they are still called special education classes.
 
  • #3,192
A bunch of engineers are sitting around at a party, discussing the nature of the God, and who designed women.

The mechanical engineer states that God must also be a mechanical engineer because "if you look at all the pulleys and levers that drive the body, how the tendons and muscles and bones all work together, well, it's just amazing."

The chemical engineer says that no, God has to be a chemical engineer because "if you look at all the chemical processes that drive the body, how the hormones and the brain and the glands and everything else all interact, well, it's just astounding."

The electrical engineer says that no, God has to be an electrical engineer because "if you look at the circuitry of the body, how the thousands upon millions of nerve cells transmit signals from one part to another, well, it boggles the mind."

The civil engineer speaks up last of all and says, no, God is definitely a civil engineer, because "only a civil engineer would run a sewer through a playground. "
 
  • #3,193
cronxeh said:
women, man, they are like quantum mechanics. nobody understands them, and the select few that do are not understood by anyone else. its like you think you know it, but you do not

Just for that, I'm sending you to this class. :smile:

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!

ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY


Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available​
 
  • #3,194
I'm going to be going away for a week. :cry: And I know I can't trust any of you to take good care of Franzbear. :cry:

Maybe there is a thread stting service I could call to watch him for me, until I get back?

Please be careful, little Fanzbear, don't go anywhere alone with your unlce Danger, don't let Moonbear take you swimming (don't let her tell you where she got the name Moonbear, Don't let Franz take you drinking, don't let Huckleberry...just don't let huckleberry, or SOS2008, don't let her either, and cronxeh, oh gosh, if cronxeh comes close just scream! Evo is okay but if Integral comes with her, run away. I think that covers most...BICYCLETREE OH MY GOSH! I ALMOST FORGOT TO WARN YOU ABOUT BICYCLETREE! :cry: I can't go, I can't leave you alone with them! :cry:

Oh well, I'll see you all in a week. :biggrin:
 
  • #3,195
Huckleberry said:
ARTMAN! you're finally here. I was just dying to tell that story. I would have embellished a few more points. :biggrin:

As far as I know they are still called special education classes.
Please feel free to elaborate, I didn't have much time. :biggrin: I'm sure Danger won't mind. :biggrin:
 
  • #3,196
Artman said:
I'm going to be going away for a week. :cry: And I know I can't trust any of you to take good care of Franzbear. :cry:

Maybe there is a thread stting service I could call to watch him for me, until I get back?

Please be careful, little Fanzbear, don't go anywhere alone with your unlce Danger, don't let Moonbear take you swimming (don't let her tell you where she got the name Moonbear, Don't let Franz take you drinking, don't let Huckleberry...just don't let huckleberry, or SOS2008, don't let her either, and cronxeh, oh gosh, if cronxeh comes close just scream! Evo is okay but if Integral comes with her, run away. I think that covers most...BICYCLETREE OH MY GOSH! I ALMOST FORGOT TO WARN YOU ABOUT BICYCLETREE! :cry: I can't go, I can't leave you alone with them! :cry:

Oh well, I'll see you all in a week. :biggrin:

How can you think I won't take good care of little franzbear? He's my very own e-child! We've got a great week planned for him. It's supposed to be warm, so Franz is going to take him out to the beach, they'll spend the whole day hitting the bars in between sunbathing. Don't worry, we'll slather franzbear in baby oil to keep his little fibers soft. Then I'm going to take him out for a night swim. We're going to work on endurance, so I'll get the rowboat and let him swim along. I'll let him carry an anchor for us too, just in case I need to take a rest from rowing. :biggrin:
 
  • #3,197
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
Skip day1 and go to the track.

Day2
EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
They typically go wherever is closer.

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
You mean that they don't?

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
Who was this man and how can we find him?

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation
Yes, it is impossible.

LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing
Should I even go there?

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
Before you leave tell her that you need to pick something up at the sporting goods store. Stay there.

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
Buy "An idiot's guide to making good excuses" study it well

GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available
No way out of this one. Get used to it. :cry:
 
  • #3,198
Moonbear said:
TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
:smile: I don't know if you know this or not, but I am certified on bathroom FAQ, which includes whether the seat automatically goes up and down too. Let me know if you need help in teaching that course. :smile:
 
  • #3,199
Moonbear said:
How can you think I won't take good care of little franzbear? He's my very own e-child! We've got a great week planned for him. It's supposed to be warm, so Franz is going to take him out to the beach, they'll spend the whole day hitting the bars in between sunbathing. Don't worry, we'll slather franzbear in baby oil to keep his little fibers soft. Then I'm going to take him out for a night swim. We're going to work on endurance, so I'll get the rowboat and let him swim along. I'll let him carry an anchor for us too, just in case I need to take a rest from rowing. :biggrin:
:cry:



Franzbear, come with me, we'll have a great vacation. I can sneak you along in my luggage, oh I'll put in some air holes. It'll be fun. :biggrin:
 
  • #3,200
Huckleberry said:
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
...Who was this man and how can we find him?...
I see you have already learned some basics on this topic--Moonbear would probably consider a more advanced class for you on this. :biggrin:
 
  • #3,201
I won't trust my own hamster with Moonbear..

I mean she did, after all, say this:
Moonbear said:
This points to a major flaw in the whole hamster power generation scheme. The only thing hamsters love more than running on wheels is chewing on power cords. All it takes is one clever escapee to shut down the entire operation by chewing through all the power cords (they are amazingly quick about this too). There are rumors that the huge blackout along the Northeast was started by an escaped hamster (okay, there aren't, but I'll start one).
https://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=242650#post242650
 
  • #3,202
Huckleberry said:
Who was this man and how can we find him?

I believe you are that very man. You have just asked for directions...now one question...are you old?

EDIT: I just realized I completely own the page 300
 
  • #3,204
SOS2008 said:
I see you have already learned some basics on this topic--Moonbear would probably consider a more advanced class for you on this. :biggrin:

Let's see what the book has to say...
Rephrase the statement
Who is this guy and we will re-educate him when we find him, without asking for directions, :biggrin:
 
  • #3,205
moose said:
EDIT: I just realized I completely own the page 300
You're not displaying enough posts per page then, we're only up to page 225 on my browser.
 
  • #3,206
Smurf said:
You're not displaying enough posts per page then, we're only up to page 225 on my browser.
That's strange, it looks like page 300 to me too. Okay, who deleted pages on Smurf's browser!
 
  • #3,207
I changed it in the CP, I get 20 posts per page, you only get... 10?
 
  • #3,208
I just changed it again actually, 40 posts per page, now it's only page 113!
 
  • #3,209
Artman said:
It was a long cold swim but...Danger, your wait is over! :biggrin: I'm here!
I didn't realize that you were that strong a swimmer. Mid-Atlantic next time, bucko. :biggrin:

Artman said:
Thank you SOS2008, I know how much fun this could have been for you, or for that matter anyone who truly appreciates the finer points of our friend Danger. Once again, thank you for allowing me the opportunity. :biggrin: :biggrin:
It's almost pathetic how little it takes to make you happy.

Artman said:
On their many trips to the zoo, the special classes in the USA would go by bus, a small bus. This bus was full of a loving, kind, group of terribly-picked-on children that happed to also be intellectually challenged. They called these the special classes in USA schools (not sure what they call them now).

So basically she insulted you, but it's cool cause she let me tell you about it. :biggrin:
I suspected that it was something like that, but I have no reference point.
There were no 'special ed' classes when I went to school. The less fortunate kids just ended up a few grades behind. The really less fortunate either stayed home or were institutionalized. Also, we never went to a zoo. In public school, there were no field trips at all. In high school, we only went to 1—the Henry Ford Museum & Greenfield Villiage in Detroit.

Artman said:
We only pick on you because you have a cool sense of humor (also because I know you would not let an opportunity go by to get me as well. :biggrin: )
Thanks for that :rolleyes: . You do owe me a couple. I was busy while you weren't paying attention.

I'm not even going to bother trying to catch up to the rest of this thread. I read the past couple of pages, but I'm too lazy to respond to it. :approve:
 
  • #3,210
Artman said:
:cry:

Franzbear, come with me, we'll have a great vacation. I can sneak you along in my luggage, oh I'll put in some air holes. It'll be fun. :biggrin:
Artman, you're leaving?

I will take care of little Franzbear. Franzbear will be safe with me. :approve: We're going beaver hunting. Look at the adorable beaver costume aunt Evo made him. Can't tell him from a real beaver can you? What? Oh, that's so you don't frighten the other beaver, dear. :approve:
 
  • #3,211
Can I come beaver hunting Aunt Evo?
*picks up stack of spears and machete*
I'm all packed!
 
  • #3,212
Evo said:
We're going beaver hunting. Look at the adorable beaver costume aunt Evo made him. Can't tell him from a real beaver can you? What? Oh, that's so you don't frighten the other beaver, dear. :approve:
When did this become the 'Hustler' home page? :confused:

So Evo... after that whole multi-page vote thing on a new avatar, you end up with a bug? :-p
 
Last edited:
  • #3,213
Smurf said:
Can I come beaver hunting Aunt Evo?
*picks up stack of spears and machete*
I'm all packed!
Oh look franzbear, uncle smurf is coming beaver hunting too.

We will be even safer with Uncle smurf along.
 
  • #3,214
Evo said:
Oh look franzbear, uncle smurf is coming beaver hunting too.

We will be even safer with Uncle smurf along.
I thought that was Aunt Smurf. Will you guys make up your minds?
 
  • #3,215
Danger said:
When did this become the 'Hustler' home page? :confused:

So Evo... after that whole multi-page vote thing on a new avatar, you end up with a bug? :-p
Yeah, Zorak won. biggrin:
 
  • #3,216
Hey Danger, just saw your photo in the members photo thread. That's really highbrow stuff if you know what I mean. You should probably see a dermatologist though.
 
  • #3,217
Huckleberry said:
Who was this man and how can we find him?

We have him in protective custody. Somewhere along the way, he forgot to read the Manly Man Manual, and you wouldn't believe all the attempts that have been made on his life! (Or maybe you would.)

Before you leave tell her that you need to pick something up at the sporting goods store. Stay there.
Ah, yes, this works best for all involved. Don't forget to hand over your credit card first, otherwise she's going to have to come looking for you.

Buy "An idiot's guide to making good excuses" study it well
Do you think we haven't read that book too? You'll have to come up with something better than those.


No way out of this one. Get used to it. :cry:

:biggrin: Ah, I see you've been well-trained! :approve: We can let you slide on all the others as long as you get that one right. :smile:
 
  • #3,218
Moonbear said:
Just for that, I'm sending you to this class. :smile:
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
I need to see an endocrinologist. My testosterone levels must be way too high. I would probably flunk all of these classes.
 
  • #3,219
Evo said:
Artman, you're leaving?

I will take care of little Franzbear. Franzbear will be safe with me. :approve: We're going beaver hunting. Look at the adorable beaver costume aunt Evo made him. Can't tell him from a real beaver can you? What? Oh, that's so you don't frighten the other beaver, dear. :approve:

Oh my! :bugeye: What are you teaching little franzbear?! Don't you think he's still a little young for that? And to have his aunt tag along?! Let him learn the same way other adolescents learn; leave him with an internet connection in his room and a door that locks.

Okay little franzbear, back to your room. *click* There you go, all locked in properly. *sniffs* Is that smoke? I'll go check. Don't worry franzbear, just stay put in your locked room. Your daddy left you a fifth of vodka and your uncle Danger tossed in a pack of cigarettes. Why don't you make yourself comfortable on the bed with your computer and smokes?
 
  • #3,220
Huckleberry said:
Hey Danger, just saw your photo in the members photo thread. That's really highbrow stuff if you know what I mean. You should probably see a dermatologist though.
It's not actually a medical condition. It goes away when I give in and buy a new razor blade. They start to bite after 2 or 3 years.

MIH, I love your new signature. The avatar scares the hell out of me, but I love the signature. :wink:
 

Hot Threads

Recent Insights

Back
Top