Why Do Female Students Listen to Male Students' Questions Without Interacting?

[J77]

If you still haven't figured out what's going on after 24 pages, I'd give up

 

[rewebster]

Why ask the question now and in reply to this particular post?

hmmm---so, for example, if this woman asked you those questions (on your first meeting or your eight date), that is how you would answer?


why answer a question with another question?

(like I'm doing right now)

 

[rewebster]

(the posting of the 'submit reply' button either on my computer or the system is awfully slow--duplicate post deleted)

 

[theoritician]

If you still haven't figured out what's going on after 24 pages, I'd give up

That is why I am being so direct. I am kind of drawing the last straw here.

 

[Astronuc]

I have spoken to her and much time has passed. Its only like, not love so if she says yes than we can make arrangements to spend some time getting to know each other more and so to establish a rapport.

If one has not spoken with the young lady for some time, then it is still too direct to ask whether this woman likes one or not.

Relationships, even friendships, require ongoing communication. It seems one hardly knows this woman and she hardly knows one. Do you have mutual interests - other than math or outside of the classroom?

 

[theoritician]

hmmm---so, for example, if this woman asked you those questions (on your first meeting or your eight date), that is how you would answer?


why answer a question with another question?

(like I'm doing right now)

I reaslied I was a bit unfair. I was just a bit suspicious about your intentions but what the heck.

I like all maths and maths oriented subjects. Hobbies are mainly solo sports.

 

[rewebster]

I reaslied I was a bit unfair. I was just a bit suspicious about your intentions but what the heck.

I like all maths and maths oriented subjects. Hobbies are mainly solo sports.

'Questions on questions' usually are there due to a couple of reasons. One is being suspicious, another may be changing the subject (just out of the blue--that's how some conversations go), or just for further clarification --there's more,--- but it's your first answer, suspicious, that, to me, most telling. Do you think this woman is 'after you', 'wanting something', etc. or something that you haven't figured out yet, or trying to figure out?---There seems to be more than 'what's going on?' with what's taking you so long to get to know her.

you do know that she will be asking you questions, right?

(my questions were just changing the subject, until you answered the way you did)

 

[Moonbear]

That is why I am being so direct. I am kind of drawing the last straw here.

But, that's the whole point! Why are you going for last resorts when you haven't even tried the first and most obvious steps? Why can't you just start up a nice, normal conversation? How on EARTH could she answer if she likes you? She doesn't even KNOW you. A few waves and hellos exchanged does not make for a conversation, it makes for politeness between two strangers.

You have two choices and only two choices here. You can either walk up, introduce yourself and start up a conversation to see where it leads, or you can walk away and just forget about it.

She doesn't know who you are other than some guy who sometimes says hi in class. If you don't start a conversation at some point, she STILL won't know who you are. That is all there is to it. If after all this time you still haven't worked up enough courage to just walk up to her and strike up a conversation, you never will. You're still making a thousand and one excuses why you shouldn't talk to her. If you need to make so many excuses, then just don't talk to her, forget about her, and move on with life. It's getting beyond pointless to keep repeating our suggestions to you of ways to start up a conversation.

There was a good point/question a few pages back. How well do you do starting up a conversation with ANYONE? Not just a girl/woman you find somewhat attractive, but someone sitting next to you in class, roommates, people waiting in line with you at the store, etc.? We know you are able to walk up to a professor and ask questions pertinent to the class, because that was the circumstances of you noticing this young lady. But, how good are you at small talk/chit chat with people you don't know and when it's not related to asking questions in class? If you aren't any good at it, and from your lack of ideas on conversation openers with this young lady, I suspect that's the case, then give up on her and work on these social skills you're going to need all throughout life. As people have already suggested, start talking to everyone and anyone you meet. Talk to people in line with you about the weather, talk to your roommates/housemates about some current events topics, talk to the person next to you in class (before class starts) about the upcoming exams or the amount of homework you're all assigned. It doesn't matter what you talk about, just learn to start conversations with random people. Walking up to someone who doesn't know you and asking if they like you is not a good way to get a positive response.

 

[EnumaElish]

That is why I am being so direct. I am kind of drawing the last straw here.

Unless you are figuring "this is not for me, but I don't want to be the one dropping the ball. So I'll pose this to her in a way that I intuitively sense is going to make her uncomfortable, and hopefully she will be the one to drop the ball." You are going to throw the ball to her at an awkward angle, so it looks like she is the one who has dropped it.

It must be really difficult for you to keep the ball in play, or to walk away from it responsibly.

 

[Astronuc]

Listen to Moonbear!

But, that's the whole point! Why are you going for last resorts when you haven't even tried the first and most obvious steps? Why can't you just start up a nice, normal conversation? How on EARTH could she answer if she likes you? She doesn't even KNOW you. A few waves and hellos exchanged does not make for a conversation, it makes for politeness between two strangers.

You have two choices and only two choices here. You can either walk up, introduce yourself and start up a conversation to see where it leads, or you can walk away and just forget about it.

She doesn't know who you are other than some guy who sometimes says hi in class. If you don't start a conversation at some point, she STILL won't know who you are. That is all there is to it. If after all this time you still haven't worked up enough courage to just walk up to her and strike up a conversation, you never will. You're still making a thousand and one excuses why you shouldn't talk to her. If you need to make so many excuses, then just don't talk to her, forget about her, and move on with life. It's getting beyond pointless to keep repeating our suggestions to you of ways to start up a conversation.

There was a good point/question a few pages back. How well do you do starting up a conversation with ANYONE? Not just a girl/woman you find somewhat attractive, but someone sitting next to you in class, roommates, people waiting in line with you at the store, etc.? We know you are able to walk up to a professor and ask questions pertinent to the class, because that was the circumstances of you noticing this young lady. But, how good are you at small talk/chit chat with people you don't know and when it's not related to asking questions in class? If you aren't any good at it, and from your lack of ideas on conversation openers with this young lady, I suspect that's the case, then give up on her and work on these social skills you're going to need all throughout life. As people have already suggested, start talking to everyone and anyone you meet. Talk to people in line with you about the weather, talk to your roommates/housemates about some current events topics, talk to the person next to you in class (before class starts) about the upcoming exams or the amount of homework you're all assigned. It doesn't matter what you talk about, just learn to start conversations with random people. Walking up to someone who doesn't know you and asking if they like you is not a good way to get a positive response.

Learn how to engage in small talk or casual conversation. That is a basic social skill. That is the way to get to know someone you encounter on a frequent basis.

 

[rewebster]

I reaslied I was a bit unfair. I was just a bit suspicious about your intentions but what the heck.

I like all maths and maths oriented subjects. Hobbies are mainly solo sports.

Most of the entire thread has been about 'you' getting over you being so 'self-conscious', being less inhibited, gaining some 'social confidence', etc.

Your answer (above) was one of the first that I remember reading that was. (It didn't hurt, did it, really?)

You may have some qualities that YOU think are inhibiting you from being more sociable with that woman, but whatever they are, you can either be tied up and controlled by them; or, release them one at a time, and to realize that most people have them to some degree or another (some people hide them well, behind humor, their confidence, their attractiveness, their intelligence, etc--see that 'popularity thread' for more, where ever it was for how some people get through it)-----some women may not go out for days because of a zit----
---if you dwell on the negatives, that's where you'll 'find yourself'------

If you like 'solo sports' ---keep that in mind when you see her next--it may help.

 

[EnumaElish]

Tip #176: in the class, sit next to her -- then ask her "what did the prof just say?"

Tip #133: before you sit next to her, say "hi."

Tip #217: if she responds with "hi," say "how are you?"

Tip #1296: "did you see the movie Fifth Element?"

 

[Cyrus]

Please lock this thread. People who don't listen don't deserve help.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Please lock this thread. People who don't listen don't deserve help.

Forget it, Jake. It's General Discussion.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Tip #176: in the class, sit next to her -- then ask her "what did the prof just say?"

Tip #133: before you sit next to her, say "hi."

Tip #217: if she responds with "hi," say "how are you?"

Tip #1296: "did you see the movie Fifth Element?"

"I was locked in the basement till the age of 17. Could you please explain some basic things about social interactions to me?"

 

[JasonRox]

"I was locked in the basement till the age of 17. Could you please explain some basic things about social interactions to me?"

Talk and be understanding using emotions.

 

[theoritician]

Had a very good talk to her as we have similar interests. Maybe got too casual and carried away with the discussion that I forgot to ask her name again! I think I know what is going on.

 

[Astronuc]

Well that's a start. Next time, ask her her name.

 

[EnumaElish]

Had a very good talk to her as we have similar interests. Maybe got too casual and carried away with the discussion that I forgot to ask her name again! I think I know what is going on.

Way to go, theoritician!

 

[scpg02]

I'm only teasing I know what you meant. You meant he was in the way

Course the most depressing but kinda obvious answer is that you asked the professor what she was going to ask, and he cleared it up, so she wandered off. Next time she makes to leave ask her if she was having the same problem (something in common) If yes then get her involved in the conversation and then chat to her afterwards. If she likes you pow shazaam go for a date, then it's marriage, a honeymoon in the Bahamas, the skys the limit I'm serious about the asking her bit though.

Wise answer. Striking up a conversation is always the best way to gain information.

 

[rewebster]

theoritician?-----

(hopefully you're too occupied to answer)

 

[theoritician]

theoritician?-----

(hopefully you're too occupied to answer)

to answer what?

Theoretically, I feel I have solved the question of the thread. What remains is to verify it experimentally.

 

[JasonRox]

Are you Pivoxa?

 

[Astronuc]

Are you Pivoxa?

Striking similarity.

 

[JasonRox]

The trick to girls is to be yourself, maintain integrity, give and receive values, and do your own thing. Most people forget about themselves in relationships. I was that person before where all I thought about was my relationship. I guess that's normal when you're young with a nice first girlfriend.

 

[J77]

Theoretically, I feel I have solved the question of the thread. What remains is to verify it experimentally.

Yeah -- dip her in phenolphthalein and see what colour she turns...

 

[cristo]

Are you Pivoxa?

If it is Pivoxa, then it means he's gotten over the girl from high school that he sees on the bus, which is a good thing!

 

[theoritician]

The trick to girls is to be yourself, maintain integrity, give and receive values, and do your own thing. Most people forget about themselves in relationships. I was that person before where all I thought about was my relationship. I guess that's normal when you're young with a nice first girlfriend.

So you forgot about yourself. But all you thought was your relationship. Isn't that a contradiction?

I am pretty good at being myself and actually didn't follow most of the suggestions offered in this thread although maybe regretabally in some cases. But there are still opportunties ahead.

 

[theoritician]

If it is Pivoxa, then it means he's gotten over the girl from high school that he sees on the bus, which is a good thing!

I went to an all boys high school.

No more speculation about pivoxa please. theoritician is theoritician.