Why Do Female Students Listen to Male Students' Questions Without Interacting?

[Moonbear]

I don't follow you. I don't close my eyes when I look at a girl, ever. I look at her face, or her chest/ass, and then back up at her face.

What you just described is - creepy.

I don't think he meant literally close his eyes when looking at her. But, you know, when you walk away, you still are thinking about her and imagining much more than what you already saw. Or, you might find yourself kind of staring into space fantasizing a bit, or mentally undressing her. I don't recommend doing it often with everyone you meet, but at some point, everyone sees someone of the opposite sex (or same sex if that is their inclination) who they just think is so "hot" that they can't help but think of them in a very physical sense. It may turn out that they are not at all your type mentally/intellectually, and it goes nowhere beyond eye candy, but every so often, it happens.

But, yeah, still, it's not something to expect every time you see someone pretty or good looking, and not feeling that way doesn't mean you should pass on them, as long as you aren't completely repelled by their appearance.

 

[Cyrus]

You never know, some people do some weird stuff...I've seen a guy at a bar standing in the *middle* of the dance floor, dead center, drinking his beer staring at people by himself. Thats why I take what he said literally.

I honestly don't do what you described. I check her out, say something. When I turn around, I am literally checking out the next girl I see and trying to talk to her or something. I've come to realize there are too many girls to do things like think about just anyone of them I met.


When I go out I want to meet as many people as possible. So I go from person to person to person talking. I don't stop. Once I am done talking to someone there already out of my mind.

 

[Moonbear]

You never know, some people do some weird stuff...I've seen a guy at a bar standing in the *middle* of the dance floor, dead center, drinking his beer staring at people by himself.

I guess. Hey, it could be worse, he could be latching onto random women and dancing with them even when they keep moving away from him. I've had that happen too. He was probably just too drunk to know what he was doing.

 

[Cyrus]

Eughh. The dance floor is the WORST place to talk to women. Talk to them at the bar when there with their friends. (1) You don't know her, so your just some guy walking up for a random dance. (2) All her friends are not going to dance alone while you dance with just one of them. (3) After about 10 mins she will stop dancing with you because she does not know you. Its just a bad place to try and meet a girl.

Drinking is bad too. Id avoid it. Girls are turned off by a drunk fool. And girls don't like being offered drinks because it looks like your trying to get them drunk or trying too hard. Hey baby can I buy you a drink complements of my new BMW.

 

[rewebster]

I don't think he meant literally close his eyes when looking at her. But, you know, when you walk away, you still are thinking about her and imagining much more than what you already saw.

you got it---he didn't

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you two can type fast--I looked at the timestamps--typing isn't one of my talents---by the time I get something 'written', the 'mood' has changed and most has to be 'removed'--oh well

 

[Evo]

If I see a cute guy, unless I talk to him and he is mentally stimulating, I don't give him a second thought.

 

[Moonbear]

Eughh. The dance floor is the WORST place to talk to women. Talk to them at the bar when there with their friends. (1) You don't know her, so your just some guy walking up for a random dance. (2) All her friends are not going to dance alone while you dance with just one of them. (3) After about 10 mins she will stop dancing with you because she does not know you. Its just a bad place to try and meet a girl.

Yep. But if she's not out dancing, asking her to join you for a dance can work out well...as long as you know how to dance. When guys just randomly start dancing with you and they haven't even ASKED if you want to dance, it's desperate and sleezy. The WORST are those who think they're going to do the bump and grind type moves on the dance floor when you don't even know their name yet...EEEEEWWW! Though, I have to tell you, if you rescue one from a creep like that by cutting in and as soon as you've freed her from the creep, introduce yourself and suggest talking at the bar, it's one of those cases where chivalry really can work (because when someone creepy latches on like that, all I'm doing is looking around the dance floor desperately for someone decent to save me).

Drinking is bad too. Id avoid it. Girls are turned off by a drunk fool. And girls don't like being offered drinks because it looks like your trying to get them drunk or trying too hard. Hey baby can I buy you a drink complements of my new BMW.

Yeah, if you're getting sloshed, nobody is going to be interested in you and your liquid courage. As for offering drinks, it's actually worse now...women need to worry that a guy offering a drink might be trying to slip something into the drink, so are going to be immediately suspicious of anyone offering a drink. If you've both been talking for a while and are hitting it off, offering to buy the next round is acceptable, but only if things are going well, not as a way to introduce yourself...and she ought to reciprocate. It's a way of saying, "I like you enough to stick around and keep talking for another drink."

 

[Cyrus]

I agree 100%.

 

[Art]

If I see a cute guy, unless I talk to him and he is mentally stimulating, I don't give him a second thought.

What's wrong with deep meaningful one night stands?

 

[rewebster]

I agree 100%.

maybe I could be reading things wrong

Yep. But if she's not out dancing, asking her to join you for a dance can work out well...as long as you know how to dance. When guys just randomly start dancing with you and they haven't even ASKED if you want to dance, it's desperate and sleezy. The WORST are those who think they're going to do the bump and grind type moves on the dance floor when you don't even know their name yet...EEEEEWWW! Though, I have to tell you, if you rescue one from a creep like that by cutting in and as soon as you've freed her from the creep, introduce yourself and suggest talking at the bar, it's one of those cases where chivalry really can work (because when someone creepy latches on like that, all I'm doing is looking around the dance floor desperately for someone decent to save me).


Yeah, if you're getting sloshed, nobody is going to be interested in you and your liquid courage. As for offering drinks, it's actually worse now...women need to worry that a guy offering a drink might be trying to slip something into the drink, so are going to be immediately suspicious of anyone offering a drink. If you've both been talking for a while and are hitting it off, offering to buy the next round is acceptable, but only if things are going well, not as a way to introduce yourself...and she ought to reciprocate. It's a way of saying, "I like you enough to stick around and keep talking for another drink."

Yeah, if your pathetic. Please let me buy you some drinks so you will like me. Once she's done drinking, she will find someone interesting to talk to because u ant interesting. Definition: CHUMP

Id let a bozo like that buy her drinks and then snatch her away since she now has a free drink and obviously isn't interested in him- and id do it right infront of his face too. I actually started dancing with a girl once while her boyfriend was standing there watching us dance 1 foot away like a dope. His face was like awwwwwwww. Mabye if he grew balls hed be dancing with her and not me. But I am not there to make friends with guys, so I could care less about his feelings. I am there to have fun with girls girls girls.

 

[rewebster]

I did the 'bad boy' act for a while--some woman loved it, and could usually end up with one if I wanted. The problem was that they wanted to be 'entertained' by the 'bad boy' act all the time that I was around them---and I really didn't want to be around that type very long.

 

[Evo]

What's wrong with deep meaningful one night stands?

That would mean we spoke and he was mentally stimulating.

 

[EnumaElish]

I have talked to her and it was all good many posts back. No awkardness although it took a month before I did that. Now I am ready for the next step which will not be too awkard provided she stays interested.

Are you doubting your ability to keep her interested?

 

[Cyrus]

maybe I could be reading things wrong

To be clear, she was standing there with her boyfriend. She grabbed my arm and started dancing all up on me. His pathetic face looked hurt. This is speculation, but he probably bought her drinks earlier . Talk about one big chump. I just looked him in the face and gave him a shrug, like sorry. I don't care.

 

[Cyrus]

I did the 'bad boy' act for a while--some woman loved it, and could usually end up with one if I wanted. The problem was that they wanted to be 'entertained' by the 'bad boy' act all the time that I was around them---and I really didn't want to be around that type very long.

No one said anything about a 'bad boy act' though. All I said was one should have a personality and not be a pathetic needy loser.

To the OP, I have to ask. Do you know how to dress yourself? What kind of clothes do you wear? How does it fit your body, and what is your body type? These things make a huge difference. You don't want to be that guy wearing some geeky physics shirt with maxwells equations written on them. Yes, I've seen physics majors actually wearing shirts like that. Its that white t-shirt, long hair in a pony tail, kaki shorts, and sandals. Classic nerd. Everyone is adults, and should know how to dress themselves. Anything less makes you appear as a chump not just to women, but people in general.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Quantity, not quality---approaching hedonism (not the homonym-heathenism)---one night stands (girls, girls, girls)---going for just the feeling of it, rather than any emotional ties.

According to the guy who coined the term, metasex is any sexual activity engaged in for any purpose other than to make babies:

Sex is, as the traditionalists have it, a vehicle for making babies, and nothing else. Sex, qua sex, is for the propagation of the species, and for no other reason. I hold this definition to be correct. However, there is a vast realm of erotic behavior which falls outside this stricture, and for that I have designated the term metasex.

http://www.sexmagick.com/aisha/writers/metasex.htm

So, even one quality relationship is metasex if you're having sex for any reason outside procreation.

 

[Moonbear]

To be clear, she was standing there with her boyfriend. She grabbed my arm and started dancing all up on me. His pathetic face looked hurt. This is speculation, but he probably bought her drinks earlier . Talk about one big chump. I just looked him in the face and gave him a shrug, like sorry. I don't care.

How do you know he was her boyfriend and not just some other creep she was trying to get away from? That, or she must have been MAJORLY pissed off at him for something to have done that...maybe he had been caught flirting with other women and she was getting even. How do you know you weren't the one being used as the chump there?

 

[Cyrus]

Because I had my hand all over her ass when I was dancing with her, and he was standing off to the side watching. Either way, it worked out well for me.

I was not the chump because I had nothing to lose by dancing with her. Its not like I went up to her in desparation. I think her BF just didnt like to dance. She wasnt mad, she had a big smile of her face. I don't really care what her BF did to her, or did not do. Thats not my problem.

 

[rewebster]

According to the guy who coined the term, metasex is any sexual activity engaged in for any purpose other than to make babies:



http://www.sexmagick.com/aisha/writers/metasex.htm

So, even one quality relationship is metasex if you're having sex for any reason outside procreation.

my use of the term was in the plural form

 

[rewebster]

Because I had my hand all over her ass when I was dancing with her, and he was standing off to the side watching. Either way, it worked out well for me.

I was not the chump because I had nothing to lose by dancing with her. Its not like I went up to her in desparation. I think her BF just didnt like to dance. She wasnt mad, she had a big smile of her face. I don't really care what her BF did to her, or did not do. Thats not my problem.

You say that a lot

 

[zoobyshoe]

Talk talk talk. Don't try to get dates from people, just learn how to hold a conversation. I am willing to bet you're not comfortable doing that, so asking her out is trying to go from 0-60 with no wheels. You need to get used to being around people that don't do physics all day long.

I think this is excellent advice. It's really the most important contribution to physics that Feynman made: setting the example of the loquacious, sociable, entertaining scientist who could talk to anyone from university presidents to strippers. He was curious about everything and everyone.

 

[Cyrus]

You say that a lot

Because it is *SOOOOOOOOOOOO* important that you *NOT* care when your talking to people. If you let your EGO get in the way you will be standing next to the wall by yourself, like *MOST* of the guys at bars do because they are worried about failure infront of all those strangers standing around. Its *not an easy fear to put aside at first. I had that fear, and I think everyone does at first until you are comfortable being yourself around a large group of people that are older than you and drinking and having fun. You just get used to it after a while and it all becomes natural. But if you don't go out and talk, you will never pick up this skill.

 

[theoritician]

I don't follow you. I don't close my eyes when I look at a girl, ever. I look at her face, or her chest/ass, and then back up at her face.

What you just described is - creepy.

What I meant was with some girls, they are so attractive that I only need a small/short look at them and leave shaking my head in awe. And because they are so attractive, I leave with a very clear image of them in my head even without looking at them for long.

 

[Evo]

I never realized it was so hard for some men. Women have it easy. I'd go out and just pick from the men that were hitting on me. All I had to do to get a guy to come over to me was make eye contact with him. So, I had to learn to avoid looking a guy in the eye if I wanted to discourage him from coming over. Then my girlfriend and I got to the point where if we saw a guy looking our way and we didn't want him, we'd scowl at him. It just becomes a game.

So men, if a woman is avoiding eye contact or scowling, you'd best move along.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Because it is *SOOOOOOOOOOOO* important that you *NOT* care when your talking to people. If you let your EGO get in the way you will be standing next to the wall by yourself, like *MOST* of the guys at bars do because they are worried about failure infront of all those strangers standing around. Its *not an easy fear to put aside at first. I had that fear, and I think everyone does at first.

Once again, you are correct. The guys I know who are most successful with women easily do and say relatively outrageous things with a complete lack of shame or embarrassment.

I think this is appealing to women because they feel that this is a guy who will blast through all their own sexual hang ups and take them on sexual adventures they wouldn't dare initiate themselves, even though they want to.

 

[theoritician]

Are you doubting your ability to keep her interested?

Yes if I don't do much.

A pessimist always have doubts.

 

[theoritician]

You people keep buying drinks for each other when in a bar. But wouldn't you need to go to the toilet very often? It is unnatural to drink so much liquid isn't it.

 

[Cyrus]

I never realized it was so hard for some men. Women have it easy. I'd go out and just pick from the men that were hitting on me. All I had to do to get a guy to come over to me was make eye contact with him. So, I had to learn to avoid looking a guy in the eye if I wanted to discourage him from coming over. Then my girlfriend and I got to the point where if we saw a guy looking our way and we didn't want him, we'd scowl at him. It just becomes a game.

So men, if a woman is avoiding eye contact or scowling, you'd best move along.

Because a girl in a bar is going to get hit on by the guys in there, *Constantly*. So if some chump walks up and says 'hi what's your name', he's going to get a brush off almost instantly. (Unless she thinks your so big a dope she can get you to buy her a drink). I have never in my life seen a girl standing in a bar alone. So that means your now a loser in the eyes of all her friends, and all the people standing around just witnessed you burn in flames. AKA you look like a fool now infront of half the bar. If you ever notice a guy do a *really* bad job talking to a woman, its like man what are you doing here do us all a favor and go home.

 

[zoobyshoe]

What I meant was with some girls, they are so attractive that I only need a small/short look at them and leave shaking my head in awe. And because they are so attractive, I leave with a very clear image of them in my head even without looking at them for long.

I know exactly what you're talking about, and it isn't what Cyrus thinks. However, you do have to learn to overcome this awe or you'll be paralyzed and never be able to talk to them.

 

[Cyrus]

You people keep buying drinks for each other when in a bar. But wouldn't you need to go to the toilet very often? It is unnatural to drink so much liquid isn't it.

wow, you have never been to a bar before.

women are a dime a dozzen my friend. There is no such thing as "What I meant was with some girls, they are so attractive that I only need a small/short look at them and leave shaking my head in awe." If you do that in public, you look like a scared pathetic creep who has never seen a girl in his life.

 

[morphism]

You people keep buying drinks for each other when in a bar. But wouldn't you need to go to the toilet very often? It is unnatural to drink so much liquid isn't it.

Are you serious?

 

[rewebster]

I never realized it was so hard for some men. Women have it easy. I'd go out and just pick from the men that were hitting on me. All I had to do to get a guy to come over to me was make eye contact with him. So, I had to learn to avoid looking a guy in the eye if I wanted to discourage him from coming over. Then my girlfriend and I got to the point where if we saw a guy looking our way and we didn't want him, we'd scowl at him. It just becomes a game.

So men, if a woman is avoiding eye contact or scowling, you'd best move along.

ATTRACTIVE women have it easy. Attractive women that smile have it easier. Attractive women showing some skin that smile have it easiest. Easy at what though? (long list, please)

 

[rewebster]

wow, you have never been to a bar before.

women are a dime a dozzen my friend. There is no such thing as "What I meant was with some girls, they are so attractive that I only need a small/short look at them and leave shaking my head in awe." If you do that in public, you look like a scared pathetic creep who has never seen a girl in his life.

what are women good for it your eyes?

 

[Cyrus]

What does it matter what I think women are good for, are you worried I might ask you out? They are good for lots of things. You missed the point of why I told him that - he is obsessed over one girl he does not even know.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I never realized it was so hard for some men. Women have it easy. I'd go out and just pick from the men that were hitting on me. All I had to do to get a guy to come over to me was make eye contact with him.

The easier it is for a guy to hit on you is a measure of how little that guy cares. The guy who has no problem approaching is the one who's least impressed, who cares the least about everything about you, who is the least interested. As Cyrus says, the second he starts talking to another woman, he will have forgotten you exist. The guys who are most impressed don't dare approach you.

Of course, I think most women are completely aware of this and they are "hooked' by the fact the bolder guy doesn't care, and are sucked into the challenge of trying to reverse that.