Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Jokes
In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2,347
(going around FB, but I like sharing here)

Did you hear that Oxygen and Potassium went on a date?

It went OK.
 
  • #2,348
What pickup line did Mr. Potatohead use on the future Ms. Potatohead ?

" Hey baby, what say we go make some fries ? " :!)
 
  • #2,349
http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/2396/homoslackasserectus.jpg
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #2,350
Ivan Seeking said:
http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/2396/homoslackasserectus.jpg
:smile: I'm not saying they're aliens, but...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #2,351
Ibix said:
:smile: I'm not saying they're aliens, but...

In either case, I think he's about to pee on that car!
 
  • #2,352
Ivan Seeking said:
I think he's about to pee on that car!

Dogg-y style!
 
  • #2,353
dkotschessaa said:
(going around FB, but I like sharing here)

Did you hear that Oxygen and Potassium went on a date?

It went OK.

lololz
 
  • #2,354
dkotschessaa said:
Did you hear that Oxygen and Potassium went on a date?

It went OK.

Oxygen and Magnesium, on the other hand...
 
  • #2,355
jtbell said:
Oxygen and Magnesium, on the other hand...

OMg! I heard about that too!
 
  • #2,356
Yeah, they really set the club on fire! :eek:
 
  • #2,357
HeLiXe said:
lololz

Did you hear that 3 elements went together?
It went lololz.
 
  • #2,358
I like Serena said:
Did you hear that 3 elements went together?
It went lololz.
:smile: u got me :-p
 
  • #2,360
A local TV station's "mind twister" on their local news program this morning:

Q: Why is it illegal for someone living in South Carolina to be buried in North Carolina?

A: It's illegal to bury a living person in North Carolina.
 
  • #2,361
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

because they have big fingers.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #2,362
ewwwww
 
  • #2,363
Tyson.jpg
 
  • #2,364
What did 0 say to 8?

Nice belt!
 
  • #2,365
A guy walks into a bar. Ouch.
 
  • #2,366
The bartender says to the neutrino "We don't like your kind around here"

The neutrino doesn't react.

A neutrino walks into a bar.
 
  • #2,367
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
 
  • #2,368
lololol that was good
 
  • #2,369
Ivan Seeking said:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

:smile:
 
  • #2,370
The following is from the Washington Post Style Invitational contest that asked readers to submit "instructions" for something (anything), but written in the style of a famous person. The winning entry was The Hokey Pokey (as written by William Shakespeare).

O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
-- by "William Shakespeare"
 
  • #2,371
Ivan Seeking said:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

That's not a very nice little girl.
 
  • #2,372
Ivan Seeking said:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.
She can ask him herself. Any good biblical inerrantist knows that it was a fish that swallowed Jonah, not a whale: Jonah 1:17.
 
  • #2,373
dkotschessaa said:
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
-- by "William Shakespeare"

I love this!
 
  • #2,374
  • #2,375
Borg said:
The Style Invitational often has very good entries.

Thanks for the link, Borg.
 
  • #2,376
Why do computer scientists get christmas and halloween mixed up?

Because 31oct=25dec.
 
  • #2,377
ibix said:
why do computer scientists get christmas and halloween mixed up?

Because 31oct=25dec.

lol!
 
  • #2,378
Ibix said:
Why do computer scientists get christmas and halloween mixed up?

Because 31oct=25dec.
Thank you

I will clean the coffee off my keyboard without any animosity.
That was worth it. :)

wrong ... but still worth it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #2,379
What is blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz.
 
  • #2,380
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Wherever you left it...
 

Similar threads

Programming Jokes: Lame, Science & Math Jokes!
12
Replies
412
Views
25K
Reflecting on 47: An SMBC Comic
2
Replies
50
Views
5K
Bad Math Jokes
10
Replies
326
Views
30K
Weird / Interesing science related objects
Replies
7
Views
2K
What does it tell if you can (or can't) get this joke?
Replies
15
Views
4K
What Are Your Favorite Physics Jokes?
Replies
1
Views
2K
Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! - My Favorite Book
Replies
21
Views
3K
Mini road trip: tigers and goats and bears, oh my
Replies
5
Views
2K
That Will Smith and Chris Rock thing
6
Replies
185
Views
8K
Collection of Science Jokes P2
105
Replies
4K
Views
393K

Hot Threads

Recent Insights

Back
Top