Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

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In summary, a group of individuals are discussing a new forum and its purpose of asking and answering "stupid questions." They discuss topics such as how long it takes to reach 1000 posts, the existence of the old forums, the best superpower, an elevator that goes sideways, and the reasons behind posting in this forum. They also explore the question of why they ask questions and the possible theories that have not been invented. Eventually, the conversation turns to the expansion of the universe and the orbit of planets around stars.
  • #526
A small mcdonalds hamburger store. (They are everywhere nowadays...)

Why is it implausible for the world to be supported by turtles all the way down?
 
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  • #527
Implausible? I thought turtles did!

Does a chicken have lips?
 
  • #528
Originally posted by prizm
Does a chicken have lips?
Good quetion. I always wonder the
same thing whenever I notice a
chicken wearing lip gloss.

If a rooster can crow, can a crow
rooster?
 
  • #529
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If a rooster can crow, can a crow rooster?
Absolutely!, saw one out on the lake roostering on his Jet ski, just the other day.

How do you find the sum of the square roots of the multiples of the logarithms of numbers that are imagined, as imaginary, without Dreaming?
 
  • #530
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How do you find the sum of the square roots of the multiples of the logarithms of numbers that are imagined, as imaginary, without Dreaming?

Ask your insomniac math friend to calculate it for you, of course.

If a brown cow makes chocolate milk, then what kind of drink does a zebra make?
 
  • #531
Originally posted by hypnagogue
If a brown cow makes chocolate milk, then what kind of drink does a zebra make?
Uhmmmm?? Oh Ya Martini's!

Why was the "Martini" named after "Martin"?
 
  • #532
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why was the "Martini" named after "Martin"?
It's funny you should ask, because
just the other day a Polish person
of my aquaintaince stumbled upon
me lying in one or another of the
gutters I am won't to nap in, and,
having himself just downed an
excessive number of martinis while
he was piloting a commercial jet
here from Phoenix, Az, asked me,
"Whhyy wasn thhhheeee M..MM..MMMMM
Aaaatini nambed afffter Jeeeerry
Loooisss?" At a complete loss for
words, I stared at him in horror.
Then, suddenly, the Polish lobe of
my brain kicked in and I said:"Do-
wiadywalem sie o te ksiazke dla
pana, nie mozna jej dostac," which
confused him long enough for me to
get away.

What do you do if you're at the
flea market looking at some used
electronic devices and a strangely
intense man starts lecturing you
about the ethics of electrons?
 
  • #533
Originally asked by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're at the flea market looking at some used electronic devices and a strangely intense man starts lecturing you
about the ethics of electrons?
You tell him that the momentum of his electrifieing Ethics is shocking in relation to the simplicity that he has no clue where he actually is!

What do you do if someone asks a "What would you do if" question on the "Ask a stupid quention" page?
 
  • #534
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if someone asks a "What would you do if" question on the "Ask a stupid quention" page?
It's funny you should ask because
just the other day someone asked
me the same thing and my advise
was "make sure you spell it
`quetion' not `quention'.

What do you do if...Er, I mean,
The average adult chimpanzee can
consume 10 bananas, 3 apples and
a half a melon in a day. Also, if
enough chimpanzees sat typing on
a word processor for a long
enough time, it is a statisical
probability that one of them would
eventually write out the works of
Shakespeare. If Shakespeare sat
typing at a word processor long
enough, is it a statistical pro-
babiliy that he would ever consume
10 bananas, 3 apples, and a half
a melon in one day?
 
  • #535
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if...Er, I mean, The average adult chimpanzee can consume 10 bananas, 3 apples and a half a melon in a day. Also, if
enough chimpanzees sat typing on a word processor for a long enough time, it is a statisical probability that one of them would eventually write out the works of Shakespeare. If Shakespeare sat
typing at a word processor long enough, is it a statistical probabiliy that he would ever consume 10 bananas, 3 apples, and a half
a melon in one day?
NOPE but there is a very real possibility that he will, in typing, use the words melons, in reference to her...the word Bananas in reference to His...the word Apple in concordance with the obviousness of reference to that event's...Knowing all along the "to live by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" can have a much better statistical probablity of generating a longevity in the outrageously "lively personna(s)" that have access to the 1/2 melon of her eye, the 10 Bananas of his lunch and the 3 apples of the events success, but only as they were typed into the sonnet of the bard's 'ode to a poem' that melodically interupted his quotient of cacophany that was erupting from his flying flingers at the Clef'board of that days com-put-errrrrssss!

Who the Heck is William Shakespeare?
 
  • #536
Originally asked by Mr.
Robin Parsons
Who the Heck
is William Shakespeare?
It is fun to go to Shakespeare
plays because he used so many
famous sayings.The other day when I was lying
in a gutter (or maybe it was a
ditch) thinking about isochronous
pendulums, a certain Polish avia-
tor of my acquaintence stumbled
over me and began ranting about
predictions of the coming ice age
that could be deciphered from the
songs of the Fool in King Lear
using the navigation charts issued
by his employer. To convince him
he was drunk I snaped a cigarette
ligher on in front of his face,
whereupon his breath ignited
causing him, briefly, to resemble
a Japanese film monster. What do
I do to stop the nightmares this
has incited?
 
  • #537
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
The other day when I was lying in a gutter (or maybe it was a ditch) thinking about isochronous pendulums, a certain Polish aviator of my acquaintence stumbled over me and began ranting about predictions of the coming ice age that could be deciphered from the songs of the Fool in King Lear using the navigation charts issued by his employer. To convince him he was drunk I snaped a cigarette ligher on in front of his face, whereupon his breath ignited causing him, briefly, to resemble a Japanese film monster. What do I do to stop the nightmares this has incited?
Rent the movie "Field of Dreams" fall alseep while watching the movie, but make certian you are covered in moisturizer beforehand, now, while sleeping, repeat the expression "There is lotsa places like Home", repetitively, over and over, again, as to ensure that, while you are sleeping, you are not aware of the excersize, that is, while you sleep, stimulating your mind to changes in the functions of that Zippo that you used to ignite the idiots breath, such that, when you awake, an entirely new set of nightmares will have joined into the previous set as to ensure you plenty of viewing while sleeping, or awake, but no more room for any Japanese films monsters, if it comes near you again just yell out "Dorothy! Dorothy!" to make it vanish into thin nightmareishlandium. (I tried this, works great!)

What Is the answer to the riddle?
 
  • #538
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What Is the answer to the riddle?
Nuncle never knew, so
The Fool had a Field Day.

I received a check in the mail
yesterday for $10,000.00, or so
it seemed. Turns out the fine
print explained it to be a non-
negotiable replica of the real
check I would receive if I first
sent them a check for $350.00
to cover the taxes on these
"winnings". So I sent them the
replica of a check for $350.00
that I "won" last week which
I could have claimed had I sent
them $29.99 to cover the taxes
for those "winnings" with a note
that they could deduct the $29.99
from the $10,000.00. I thought to
myself, "This all is a much better
explanation of why space-time is
curved than a rubber sheet and a
ball." I suppose I could have used
the replica of a $10,000.00 check
to buy a replica of a new used
car, but by then I was all about
confused.

What, then, was the replica of the
question?
 
  • #539
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I received a check in the mail
yesterday for $10,000.00, or so
it seemed. Turns out the fine
print explained it to be a non-
negotiable replica of the real
check I would receive if I first
sent them a check for $350.00
to cover the taxes on these
"winnings". So I sent them the
replica of a check for $350.00
that I "won" last week which
I could have claimed had I sent
them $29.99 to cover the taxes
for those "winnings" with a note
that they could deduct the $29.99
from the $10,000.00. I thought to
myself, "This all is a much better
explanation of why space-time is
curved than a rubber sheet and a
ball." I suppose I could have used
the replica of a $10,000.00 check
to buy a replica of a new used
car, but by then I was all about
confused.

What, then, was the replica of the
question?
This Highly Ordered Answer/Responce!

Why is it that I find that I haven't the time to type out really good long storylike answers AND quetions?

P.S. Zoob, can you fax me about $10,000, I need to buy some stamps!
 
  • #540
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
P.S. Zoob, can you fax me about $10,000, I need to buy some stamps!
I could fax you a replica of some
stamps except that my fax machine
is a non-negotiable replica of
a fax machine (a facsimile
facsimile
, as it were) and I haven't got a replica of a phone
with which to call San Diego
Pseudo-Gas and Faux-Power Co. to
ask them to hook up my simulated
electricity, which is the only
kind of juice it will respond to.

Once when I was performing the
Rachmaninov second in front of
an audience of about 400 people
I suddenly became sensible of the
most tremendously urgent need to
shout the words "So's you muddah!"
at a very high volume.
My neurologist tested me for
tourettes but declared me free of
this condition.
What causes this and how do you
deal with it when you are per-
forming the Rachmaninov Second?
 
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  • #541
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
I could fax you a replica of some stamps except that my fax machine
is a non-negotiable replica of a fax machine (a facsimile facsimile, as it were) and I haven't got a replica of a phone with which to call San Diego Pseudo-Gas and Faux-Power Co. to ask them to hook up my simulated electricity, which is the only kind of juice it will respond to.
Try the "imitation" cell that you use at your pretend workplace, cause the need is imminent!

Would you falsify your work history, pretending that all of the plagerisms that you have induldged in, is really supposed to be to your accreditation??
 
  • #542
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Try the "imitation" cell that you use at your pretend workplace, cause the need is imminent!
All I have is a replica of an
imitation cell which I can't
charge up for the same reason.

Would you falsify your work history, pretending that all of the plagerisms that you have induldged in, is really supposed to be to your accreditation??
Whenever I'm seeking employment
as a plagarist I make it a point
to plagarize the work history
part of the application. Likewise
once hired, all the work I turn
in to the boss consists exclusive-
ly of plagarisms of the other
plagarists plagarizing, which
always impresses him or her.Once when I was performing the
Rachmaninov second in front of
an audience of about 400 people
I suddenly became sensible of the
most tremendously urgent need to
shout the words "So's you muddah!"
at a very high volume.
My neurologist tested me for
tourettes but declared me free of
this condition.
What causes this and how do you
deal with it when you are per-
forming the Rachmaninov Second?
 
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  • #543
Originally quiried by an imitation of the replicant that is the xerox of the duplicantion of the copy, zoo/by/shoe(s)
Once when I was performing the Rachmaninov second in front of an audience of about 400 people I suddenly became sensible of the most tremendously urgent need to shout the words "So's you muddah!" at a very high volume. My neurologist tested me for tourettes but declared me free of this condition. What causes this and how do you deal with it when you are performing the Rachmaninov Second?
It arises from a little know fact that, in the 'true' Russian of the name, it is actually representational of "Rack Man In OV", codewording for the pronunciation of the Overture is the symbolically representational presentation of the elements "O" and "V", hence, we find that due to the torrodial corrlelations of the stung out stringsets vibrational variance, in triplet, (no less) results in a harmonic inducement of "fortissimo expresso" dabbed in a lightly battered seasoning sauce of lemon and herbs, that eructs forcefully past the vocal cords in an inharmonious bellicousing verbalization of "So' you muddah!", all having been traced back to one "Porky Pig" (Snoutius Piglettensus repeti'ti'ti'ti'vus) and his insistance of his having acquired his "stutter" from his "mudder".

Humm woke up in that field again, but this time it was both sunny and cold, how the heck did that happen?

P.S. Zoob, thank$!
 
  • #544
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Humm woke up in that field again, but this time it was both sunny and cold, how the heck did that happen?
Coming too in a sunny, cold field
usually indicates you've been
indoctrinated into a new religion
such as K-Mart Red Light Worship
or possibly The Sanctfied Church
Of The Little Red Engine That
Could, or it could have been those
mustachioed pirates who call them-
selves "The Elder Brethren Of
Torpor And Hebetude In Waiting For
The Coming Age Of The Man With The
Slender Small Toe And His Cohort,
Miss Sally O'Malley.
P.S. Zoob, thank$!
What did I do now while I wasn't
paying attention?
 
  • #545
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What did I do now while I wasn't
paying attention?
On Behalf of D'a Brudders Tank$s a mililllililllion for Da Saleing of De farm to Ust!

Why?? Oh Why did zobyshoe sell out the Family Farm? (Moan :frown:)
 
  • #546
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why?? Oh Why did zobyshoe sell out the Family Farm? (Moan :frown:)
"Zobyshoe"? This must be something
that happened in a perpendicular
realm where such people as "Mr.
Robin Persons" and "Fz-" dwell.

How many perpendicular versions
of Mr. Robin Persons can exist
in the same universe at the same time?
 
  • #547
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
How many perpendicular versions
of Mr. Robin Persons can exist
in the same universe at the same time?
UNCOUNTABLE! sadly, aren't you happy I'm the only one in this one, he-heeeeeeewheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

What is the square root of the exponent, squared to the logarithm of 42?
 
  • #548
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
UNCOUNTABLE! sadly, aren't you happy I'm the only one in this one, he-heeeeeeewheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
You may have more perpendicular
alter egos in this universe than
you realize.
What is the square root of the exponent, squared to the logarithm of 42?
The only answer I'm permitted to
give to that question, by reason
of my prior affiliations with the
non-denominational Board of Direc-
tors Of The Foundation For The
Advancement of The Study Of Found-
ational Advancement Studies, is:
"Tuesday".

Please Help! Homework problem:
Joe is a bartender. On weekdays
he works at bar X. Everyday a
rigid body of length L enters the
bar and gets a drink.
On weekends Joe works at a dif-
ferent bar, Bar Y. Every day a
rigid body of length L enters this
bar and gets a drink.
The rigid body in bar X has three
points marked along its length
which are designated M, R, and P.
The rigid body in Bar Y has three
points marked along its length
which are designated M, R, and S.
Joe can see no difference between
the two rigid bodies other than
the one difference in the desig-
nations. He wonders if they are
the same rigid body clumsily
pretending to be two different
rigid bodies.

How does Joe find out if they are
separate rigid bodies, or the
same one?
 
  • #549
You may have more perpendicular
alter egos in this universe than
you realize.
WOW he's on to us. No hes's Not, shutup you idiot or he'll figure it out. you shutup, and stop telling me to shutup, will ya!

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
Please Help! Homework problem: Joe is a bartender. On weekdays he works at bar X. Everyday a rigid body of length L enters the bar and gets a drink. On weekends Joe works at a different bar, Bar Y. Every day a
rigid body of length L enters this bar and gets a drink. The rigid body in bar X has three points marked along its length which are designated M, R, and P. The rigid body in Bar Y has three points marked along its length which are designated M, R, and S. Joe can see no difference between the two rigid bodies other than the one difference in the designations. He wonders if they are the same rigid body clumsily
pretending to be two different rigid bodies.
How does Joe find out if they are
separate rigid bodies, or the
same one?
(X^L/MRS7)/Y^MRP42 then split them into two (2) different lines of force, halve the sections into several pieces, BB'Q the remnants of the secondary sections, that were extraneous to begin with, re-amalgamate the leftovers into a delicious wholesome and nutricious snack for later Ooops (that's the recipe) I meant re-amalgamate the remnants into sections that are divisible by Pi, then you will be able to tell if the sum of the parts are greater then, (>) less then, (<) or equal then (=) to the original, hence Knowledge of exactly where the treasure was reburied, Ooops I mean you will now know just who it is that bodifies "Bod rigididus" X/Y

P.S. Don't forget to tell Joe, he claims (It's a FALSE claim!) he has an outstanding Bill, why he placed Bill outside I'll never know. (hope Bill had a raincoat for that huricane)

Once you have CONCLUSIVE evidence of zoobyshoes, real identity, what will you do with it?
 
  • #550
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Once you have CONCLUSIVE evidence of zoobyshoes, real identity, what will you do with it?
Report to the Royal Cryptozoolog-
ical society for your medal.
(Don't get exited: it's just
anodized aluminum)

In the event this were an actual
emergency should you first...?

A.Batten down the hatches
B.Save women and children first
C.Sniff glue
D.Glue women to the children
E.Glue women and children to the
hatches
D.Sniff glue
F.Gluey glue
G.Glue glue to glue
H.Goo goo ga goo
I.0000000000000
J.
K
K
K
 
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  • #551
Answer: Make women and children sniff zoobieglue.


Question: What is zoobieglue most commonly used for?
 
  • #552
Originally posted by BoulderHead
Question: What is zoobieglue most commonly used for?
It's used in place of gluons in
element 126: Zoobinium

Where would I be able to buy
Zoobieglue in 55 gallon drums?
 
  • #553
Originally asked by zoobygluie
Where would I be able to buy Zoobieglue in 55 gallon drums?
Where else, at the zoo-be-glued store, on e-Bay, although I got to tell ya, I heard that that stuff is really really (I mean REALLY) inexpensive, so inexpensive that they actually got paid to receive it!

"Zoobygluieeeeeeeeeee" is one of the most adhesive substances known to humanity, but NOT to the greys, why?
 
  • #554
"Zoobygluieeeeeeeeeee" is one of the most adhesive substances known to humanity, but NOT to the greys, why?

Obvious, the greys can build space ships that actually hold together.

Where on Earth did these grey come from anyway?
 
  • #555
Originally posted by ExtravagantDreams
Where on Earth did these grey come from anyway?
Your average grey space alien is
a native of Boise, Idaho.How many 55 gallon drums of Zoobie
glue does the average grey space
alien fraternity consume per frat
party?
 
  • #556
Originally asked by ZOObySHOE
How many 55 gallon drums of Zoobie glue does the average grey space
alien fraternity consume per frat party?
Well it is actually an inverse function as the quantity consumed has a reverse preportional effect inasmuch as the percentage of ingestion declines with the affectivnesse's surmounting of the ingestions affectation. IN other (simpler) words "the more they consume, the less affect it has on them" hence the real amounts remain secret, to this day! as we'll need to kill you, if you can figure it out.
Signed; "Bubba 'n the Boys" (Written in lieu of MRP)

Since MRP is the ONLY person on the planet who knows the real, and needed amount of "55 gallon drums of zoobie-glue' to have the effect that is the cause of the effects reaction, what does it measure in degrees(°) Rankine??
 
  • #557
well. halfway to the original goal of 1000 posts. haha. id post a dumb question, but i just got 54/100 on a test, so i feel dumb enought thank you.
 
  • #558
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Since MRP is the ONLY person on the planet who knows the real, and needed amount of "55 gallon drums of zoobie-glue' to have the effect that is the cause of the effects reaction, what does it measure in degrees(°) Rankine??
There is a small conference room at the end of a cramped corridor in an abandoned underground bunker beneath the West Wing of the White house where full grown men are presently growling at each other in a vigorous difference of opinion over this very issue. It is likewise, strangely enough, the subject of a "thread" of graffiti in the third stall of the men's bathroom on the ground floor level of the Mall Of The America's in Minneapolis, Minnesota. What should a person do if they discover that the Person they have been corresponding with over the internet actually passed away several years ago?

Robin PARSONS (ABT 1925 - 10 Dec 1991)http://kropf.org/html/d0005/I219.html
 
  • #559
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What should a person do if they discover that the Person they have been corresponding with over the internet actually passed away several years ago?
Robin PARSONS (ABT 1925 - 10 Dec 1991)http://kropf.org/html/d0005/I219.html
Come to the realization that the internet has gone etherial and that it is presently connected to "The Beyond" in such a manner that communicating with the dead is now as simply as www.talkingtodeadpeople.grav[/URL] thereby connecting the "World Wide Weeb" with the "Universal Metaphysical Realm" (UMR) as to enable all of the persons, past, present, and future to communicate in an open, and friendly, fashion, to further the profiteering of all of the "Communal Charities" all over the Universe. So remember. please GIVE, the dead need the ca$h! (Some of them are being asked to pay to enter Heaven, to bad they couldn't take it with them!)

How do you go about collecting on a bequest, that is in a name similar to your, but all along knowing that, since you are adopted, it cannot [b]really[/b] be any relation to you, but you need the money, so you try anyways, but you don't know how??
 
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  • #560
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons How do you go about collecting on a bequest, that is in a name similar to your, but all along knowing that, since you are adopted, it cannot really be any relation to you, but you need the money, so you try anyways, but you don't know how??
Legal adoption into the clan Parsons constitutes legal membership in the clan Parsons with all the attendant rights to loose change provided you could establish a link between your adoptive parents and the deceased namesake which would best be accomplished by calling yourself "The Lowlander", getting a large sword, and lopping the heads off of every Parsons who may be of more potentially direct relation urging yourself on with the motto:"There Can Be Only One!"What's the best way to explain to a sword weilding maniac that what you just said was "Yes, I am a person," and not: "Yes, I am a Parsons"?
 
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