Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[ianpaul12345]

i have a question, can time be bent? by any means on any scale, ?

 

[Borg]

i have a question, can time be bent? by any means on any scale, ?

You have to answer the previous question before you can ask a question.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

What's your favorite alliteration of words beginning in 'imp'?

To an impaneled group of impartial observers, the implicit impact of these imperialistic imps impugning the impecunious Alfred E. Einstein's imperfections with improper impunity imparts no implications. Did it impair. imperil, or impede his ability to implicate electrodynamics into his impossible schemes concerning imponderable matters? It is imperative that I grow impatient at the impasse this implies even as I grow impeachable impatiens in my impeccable garden. I implore them to stop these impersonal attacks which are no more important, or imperishable than all their other impermeable impossibilities or I will implode. It is an impermissible impertinence for them to do an impromptu impersonation of the imperturbable Einstein who is impervious to such impetuous impulsive impieties without impetus. He suffers their implacable implausibilities while impetigo impinges impaling him with pain and implying the implementation of an implant. I importune these impertinent, impolite, and impolitic impostors to impose self control on their impotent and impractical plans or I will imprint my foot on their impoverished butts, improving them and then imprecate their improbable imprecision. The impure position of these impresarios is not impregnable and does not impress me at all. It imputes that not only will I imprison them, I will be impelled to improvise a way to impound their imprudent impala as well.

 

[Borg]

Impeccably impressive but, could we imposition you to impart a Quetion?
I don't mean to imply imprecision or be seen as an impish imposter - I only implore an important, impowering improvement that will remove this imponderable impass.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Can time be bent by any means on any scale?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Can time be bent by any means on any scale?

The bendiness or more properly, "bendicity" of time is a property of time that everyone's been meaning to get around to pondering since time was discovered in 1377 B.C. by Arabian mathematician, Daiz Al Hourlivz, inventor of the hourglass. He had plenty of sand and he knew how to make glass, so many feel it was a mere matter of time before he discovered time, but he actually had set out to discover the soap opera, so the result was much more accidental than supposed.

The quetion, though, remains unansered because sand reckoners have busied themselves with the quetion of "dark" time instead. The issue is this: no matter where we aim our telescopes in the vast universe there doesn't seem to be enough time for anything. Physicists, therefore, posit the existence of "dark" time, time which is there but somehow got wasted watching soap operas and Opra (notice the similarity but mark the difference) and remains forever unusable.

Some fear we don't have time to discover dark time if it exists, others assert there was never enough time to begin with, and they've busied themselves with the search for an anti-time particle, the "operon". Discovery of the operon would explain a lot of things, but doesn't address the bendicity of time at any level. Maxwell S. Hammer left a fragment of calculation that many suspect to have been a preliminary attempt to analyze time's bendicity, but that interpretation is denounced by scholars who maintain he was just reckoning the shipping cost of a watch he wanted to order from Switserlin.

Why do you suppose Hammer wanted to know the time in Switserlin?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Why do you suppose Hammer wanted to know the time in Switserlin?

The implication is that he was impatient to be thrown into the volcano. If the oil screen is a consumable, then why did it take two days for the mechanics to realize that it was clogged and why did they have to send away for a replacement part? What clogs the screen so bad that you can't simply wash it off and put it back in?

 

[Jakeus314]

What did you say?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

What did you say?

As I understand it, you're not allowed to ask that until you've answered my question first.

 

[Jakeus314]

I figured that answering a stupid question with a vague question was a sufficiently stupid way to answer a question and ask one at the same time. People do this all the time to win arguments. Unacceptable still?

 

[Evo]

I figured that answering a stupid question with a vague question was a sufficiently stupid way to answer a question and ask one at the same time. People do this all the time to win arguments. Unacceptable still?

Unacceptable. And it's QUETION, not question.

 

[Jakeus314]

The implication is that he was impatient to be thrown into the volcano. If the oil screen is a consumable, then why did it take two days for the mechanics to realize that it was clogged and why did they have to send away for a replacement part? What clogs the screen so bad that you can't simply wash it off and put it back in?

Very well. My attempt at being exceedingly lazy has been definitively thwarted by impermeable logic and a keen awareness of the original post. Blast!

Your answer good sir: Because two is the best integer between one and three. It makes perfect sense to take exactly that long, in days. A replacement part is much more appropriate than sending away for a russian bride. Washing it off and putting it back in is rude and inconsiderate to your partner, especially if they are a customer.

And where did you learn to talk like that?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

And where did you learn to talk like that?

At the VW dealership. Why did they need to tear the car apart in order to find the problem, then fix it and not charge me a cent for any of it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why did they need to tear the car apart in order to find the problem, then fix it and not charge me a cent for any of it?

I think you've just found out what it feels like to be an innocent drug mule.

Recently when I was scraping the drugs out of the filter of a V.W. I happened also to find a soggy Chinese fortune, a piece of shrink wrap, and 2 tablets of lithium carbonate. I thought that was interesting. However, I had work to do, and threw them to the shop's pet ferret to play with.

When I got home hours later in the evening, I was completely surprised to turn on the TV and see a news story about a ferret that had been arrested for trying to break into the mayor's office and take him hostage. According to the news reporter the ferret's identity had not been discovered yet, but it had one distinguishing feature: there was a piece of shrink wrap around one of its little ferret digits. I thought that was interesting. However, I had work to do and threw the TV to my pet capybara to play with.

Still, I had to wonder: why don't they have ferret newscasters?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Still, I had to wonder: why don't they have ferret newscasters?

Because they would ferret out the news and cast aspersions on persons. Why do the stars go on shining?

 

[AGNuke]

Because you can't!

Why this PF Lounge even exist?

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

Because you can't!

Why this PF Lounge even exist?

'cuz.

Why does anything exist?

 

[AGNuke]

Cuz God wanted to control my stress by making the "existence" so I can thrash it back to oblivion.

Why is Manchester United is shorted as Man.Utd?

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

Why is Manchester United is shorted as Man.Utd?

Assuming Manchester United refers to the battalion of British soldiers in the 1420s who were most notably recognized for never having any casualties, then your anser can be ansered as such:

"Man" comes from the fact that the battalion was comprised entirely of male combatants. Women at the time were constrained to nursing the men back to health (ie. cutting off their limbs) and sending home type-written messages to the soldiers' families at the occurrence of their death.

Of course, the battalion of Manchester United was the best of the best. And with that title came some of the coolest technology to hit Western Europe since they exploited Chinese fireworks and turned them into weapons. This assured the soldiers of Manchester United that their deaths would be prompted with new typewriters, so as to show their importance.

However, as stated before, there were no casualties within their battalion, so their costly typewriter merely sat, neglected, having never been so much as touched.

This, of course, is why the typewriter is said to have been invented in the 1860s. I clearly know better than that, as do you, now that I have shared this long-forgotten secret with you.

Now lies the question of "Utd."

Remember, the typewriter was exceptionally new, and therefore, each letter typed was done painstakingly so, and each letter cost a minor fortune. So as to combat this, the crafty women thought of changing "United" to "Utd."

From that arises a more discerning question related to typewriters: Why was only one created?

 

[AGNuke]

Hmm... This in particular is one of the most difficult question since "Who's First: Chicken or Egg?"

Actually, the concept behind lies that God is fond of very good stuff. So, eventually, he grew fond of Matrix, and in the honour of Neo, he created one.

What I thought that how can we become "batteries"?

 

[drizzle]

Recharge yourself, you are a battery already.

Why do I disgust this thread?

 

[AGNuke]

Stop eating at McDonald's!

Thinking of it, why is McDonald sitting outside of his own restaurant?

 

[Charmar]

He's watching out for the hamburgler.

How come momma don't dance, and daddy daddy don't rock and roll?

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

He's watching out for the hamburgler.

How come momma don't dance, and daddy daddy don't rock and roll?

The mother broke her legs in a tragic cow-milking incident, and the father has no ears.

Why has this thread's quality so steadily declined?

 

[AGNuke]

Quality, my boy, is very dangerous substance found in gold. This quality is responsible for triggering cardiovascular arrest in people having both good and bad cholestrol.

24 carat gold means that a person will suffer for 24 hours before getting attack, as it will occur when he will see the purchase bill.

By declining quality, we ensure that those eating at McD can continue to do so, so that Mr. McD can't get a seat in his own restaurant. How would you build a bunker for 2012?

 

[Jakeus314]

My first choice is to make their bunker out of cards, but it really depends on what 2012 wants their bunker to feel like. Feelings are, as we all know, the most important aspect of existence.

Who exactly is this 2012 person anyway?

 

[Biosyn]

Who wishes there were more IT Crowd series?

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

Who wishes there were more IT Crowd series?

Read the first post to get a general idea to see how you should be responding to posts in this thread.

 

[Monsterboy]

What's a Stupid question?

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

What's a Stupid question?

Yes it is. Where's not so much. Why do you ask?

 

[AnTiFreeze3]

What's a Stupid question?

You're getting the hang of it!

 

[Monsterboy]

1^0 = 1^1 then 1=0 ?

1^0 = 1^1 = 1^2 = 1^3 = 1^4 ... then 0=1=2=3=4=5...?

 

[rhythm42]

1^0 = 1^1 then 1=0 ?

1^0 = 1^1 = 1^2 = 1^3 = 1^4 ... then 0=1=2=3=4=5...?

well, if you're French, you drowned at 5.

Is that why the French can only count to 4? They're afraid of drowning?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Is that why the French can only count to 4? They're afraid of drowning?

The famous rhetorical quetion, "And the French can only count to four?" is not to be understood as a statement about the French. It's specifically a statement about penguin skinning techniques of the natives of Tierra del Fuego, and generally a statement about reverse engineering. Both of which lead to an implied meta-statement about historical revisionism.

The first reverse engineer was, as we all know, the celebrated Tierra del Fuegan, Ooorge. Ooorge was the first human to set himself the task of reversing the act of fire-making. Instead of making fire he decided to unlock the secret of putting fires out. Before Ooorge everyone in Tierra del Fuego was preoccupied with starting fires with the result that the whole southern tip of South America was on fire. Hence the name, "Tierra del Fuego", which means, "Kangaroo".

Ooorge soon determined that neither water nor dirt burned very well. That being the case, he undertook the obvious course, which was to heap baskets full of mud onto statues of the Fire God, Hottssooo, to quench his fiery spirit. Soon the fires of Tierra del Fuego were nearly all put out, and Ooorge was stoned to death by his fellows. His story lives on in Tierra del Fuegan history as that of, "The Idiot Who Brought Near-Antarctic Freezing Cold Back to Kangaroo".

Why is it so many innovators are not appreciated by penguin skinners?

 

[Evo]

It's open!