Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #4,936
fresh_42 said:
"I store wind energy!"
Long as you're JUST storing it, we don't want/need releases.
 
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  • #4,937
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  • #4,938
OMG

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  • #4,939
Could be a dirty parking lot, could be a store policy, could be any number of external factors --- local ordinance, even.
 
  • #4,940
Bystander said:
Could be a dirty parking lot, could be a store policy, could be any number of external factors --- local ordinance, even.
true, but highly unlikely LOL
 
  • #4,941
davenn said:
true, but highly unlikely LOL
This could have happened to me, too. Enter a store to buy something, didn't find it, but bought something else instead. And it's still better than a) leave the cart anywhere or b) handle both separately.
 
  • #4,942
At least he isn't using the hand cart to move the shopping cart. :oldeyes:
 
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  • #4,943
Borg said:
At least he isn't using the hand cart to move the shopping cart. :oldeyes:
:DD:DD
 
  • #4,944
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  • #4,945
What do you call a small one-eyed donkey with one leg shorter than the others?

A dinky winky wonky donkey.
 
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  • #4,946
Borg said:
At least he isn't using the hand cart to move the shopping cart. :oldeyes:
Or even worse, if he had gone to the store to buy a shopping cart, and put his purchase into one of the store's carts. :oldeyes:
 
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  • #4,947
fresh_42 said:
This could have happened to me, too. Enter a store to buy something, didn't find it, but bought something else instead. And it's still better than a) leave the cart anywhere or b) handle both separately.
Yes. If you look carefully, you will see that there is something in the guy's cart where a child can sit.
 
  • #4,948
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  • #4,949
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  • #4,950
davenn said:
Matte finish invisible tape, no less. You might catch a specular reflection off the glossy stuff.
 
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  • #4,951
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  • #4,952
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  • #4,953
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  • #4,954
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  • #4,955

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  • #4,956
I had an oven that needed the simultaneous press of three buttons to change the time. Afterwards you had a single rotating knob that was ...well... correlated with time changes (but certainly not linear).
 
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  • #4,957
fresh_42 said:
Pretty much my strategy ... although ... adjusting the car clock once saved me a ticket for speeding.

View attachment 233000
https://www.facebook.com/madsciencenw
I seem to recall that Windows 95 would automatically reset the clock for daylight savings time. If you left your computer on overnight it did it at 2am, resetting to 1am. Guess what happened an hour later.
 
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  • #4,958
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  • #4,959
Ibix said:
Guess what happened an hour later.
Nothing special?
I don't find any mention of a problem with DST for Windows 95 - apart from being stuck at the rules of 1995.
 
  • #4,960
mfb said:
Nothing special?
I don't find any mention of a problem with DST for Windows 95 - apart from being stuck at the rules of 1995.
Windows 95 (and 98, I think) prompted you to confirm the time change. From what I recall, it didn't consider the switch made until the confirmation box had been dismissed, which obviously didn't always happen if the system was on at 2am.

I recall discussing this with friends at the time, but I can't find any reference online either. Maybe it was an urban myth.
 
  • #4,961
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  • #4,962
Hurkyl said:
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
Hey this is funny...at least i find it so.
 
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  • #4,963
What did the vampire say a when he couldn't dye his hair?
"I suck at dying"
 
  • #4,964
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  • #4,965
DaveC426913 said:
36+ inches:
Canadians start wearing socks.
In here socks are like tree rings, allowing you to tell how old someone is. Older people wear them above the knees...
 
  • #4,966
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  • #4,967
Ibix said:
Windows 95 (and 98, I think) prompted you to confirm the time change. From what I recall, it didn't consider the switch made until the confirmation box had been dismissed, which obviously didn't always happen if the system was on at 2am.

I recall discussing this with friends at the time, but I can't find any reference online either. Maybe it was an urban myth.
I am still using win98 and it's the other way around. First it makes the change and then it asks you if it's correct. You have to confirm the change or change the time manually to whichever time you like, or the OS won't boot.
 
  • #4,968
Those involved in any form of customer service/sales will relate to this ...

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  • #4,969
Why are sheepdogs not very accurate?

They're always rounding things up.
 
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  • #4,970
ohhh dear ! :rolleyes:

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