Collection of Lame Jokes

[jtbell]

Stacy's mom has four daughters.

The first one's name is April.

The second one's name is May.

The third one's name is June.

The fourth one's name is...

 

[Steelwolf]

Which reminds me of how My Dad taught me the verse:
Thirty Days Hath September, April, June and My Uncle,
All the Rest got Thirty One,
Except for Granddad who got ninety down at County!

The note from the teacher was Precious!

 

[Ibix]

Stacy's mom has four daughters.

The first one's name is April.

The second one's name is May.

The third one's name is June.

The fourth one's name is...

If joo say July, joo lyin'.

 

[fresh_42]

A friend has just told me that he has been studying Spanish for the past 10 weeks because he is flying to Brazil at the end of the year.

Okay, who will tell him?

 

[Ibix]

Okay, who will tell him?

Brazilian border control, if no one else...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Mark44]

Stacy's mom has four daughters.

The first one's name is April.

The second one's name is May.

The third one's name is June.

The fourth one's name is...

Mabel...

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

A friend has just told me that he has been studying Spanish for the past 10 weeks because he is flying to Brazil at the end of the year.

Okay, who will tell him?

The languages are so similar that people can understand each other if they know exclusively Spanish/Portuguese. A bit of Spanish might work better than good English once you go away from the main tourist attractions in Brazil. If you learn something only for Brazil then learning Portuguese makes much more sense, of course.

 

[256bits]

Mabel...

the 5th is named August
The 6th is named July
The seventh is named Stacey
...

Oh , .... it's 4 daughters and only 4 daughters.

 

[256bits]

It has been determined that 7 is an odd number.
I conjecture that seven can be made even.

 

[Steelwolf]

@mfb concerning above. (sorry fer the long lead, the last line is the joke portion of this comment, reckon Shaggy Dogs can show up anywhere!) Even Tagolog, in the PI, which has Spanish roots, I was able to get along decent in as I had had 3 years of Spanish through high school myself. The folks in the Philippines were very surprised that I was able to follow their conversation in Tagalog, even though I could not speak it, I understood enough of the roots to get the basic jist, and then learned some of the more specific words in the area.

I have met the same with Portuguese and Italian both, as well as being able to hear much of the same in French, although it is easier to read the language for me than to try to speak it due to the similarities in the language roots.

Growing up in Tacoma WA, with it's very much multicultural, poor-middle class way of mixing and interacting, we had the multiple First Nations tribes there, in fact I grew up with several of the Puyallup and Nisqually Tribes, in specific, as well as the Vietnamese and Thai Boat People waves we had come in. There were always various crops or farms with work, so there were often Hispanic speakers around, as well as Chinese, Japanese and Koreans whom had been brought into build the railroads and infrastructure, and Russians who had a historic presence there having come across the Bering Strait. So I was lucky to grow up in a situation where because we were all poor, even though of different cultures etc, we were all Americans NOW, and we all helped each other a lot, so the cross culturalism then was important to the building of it's character now.

<political dig removed by mentor>

I think this Joke Thread just died due to political interference by the Moderators.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Steelwolf]

@fresh_42 : And when the Lions overheard that from the Elephants they just roared; and the Hyenas are still laughing themselves silly!. Of course, some of the Rescued Family and Friends of Noah had been thinking it was going to be a Three Hour Cruise!

Posits an interesting question though: Is the Biblical Tale of Noah's Ark a cautionary tale on climate change? (the Sumerian Cuneiform tablet library version(s) are extremely interesting in that regard as well)

 

[fresh_42]

Posits an interesting question though: Is the Biblical Tale of Noah's Ark a cautionary tale on climate change? (the Sumerian Cuneiform tablet library version(s) are extremely interesting in that regard as well)

I tend to believe it was Santorini.

 

[Wrichik Basu]

Principal: I tried your father's number so many times, but it says “Switched off”.

Student: Yes, that is his caller tune.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Steelwolf]

@fresh_42 , Watch, some joker will find a way to preserve it on film and call it Cannes Whirled Peas

 

[fresh_42]

@fresh_42 , Watch, some joker will find a way to preserve it on film and call it Cannes Whirled Peas

Must be next year. Crazy Tarantino is currently in Cannes, so no chance for pea - nuts!

 

[Steelwolf]

I have not found Tarantino in cans, only in the Frozen section.

 

[mfb]

Quentin Tarantino Got His Own Personalised VB Cans

 

[Steelwolf]

Well, I was obviously not looking in the Beer Aisle...Shame to do that to a sixer of Green Demons.

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

News flash:

Musicologists have discovered in Duke Ellington’s archives an unpublished attempt at jazz - country music fusion:

“Take the Hay Train.”

 

[fresh_42]

An atomic war would be the end of humanity.
But there are disadvantages, too.

 

[fresh_42]

Do you know that feeling if dogs feel that you fear them? For me it's traffic lights who feel that I'm in a hurry.

 

[DrGreg]

An atomic war would be the end of humanity.
But there are disadvantages, too.

On a similar note, people say that climate change threatens the survival of the planet.

No so. Once climate change has killed all the humans, the planet will soon recover.

 

[fresh_42]

On a similar note, people say that climate change threatens the survival of the planet.

No so. Once climate change has killed all the humans, the planet will soon recover.

The planet will do anyway, o.k. at least the next 4 gy. However, the biosphere will soon recover!

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 244122

I would never betray Wile E.

 

[davenn]

I would never betray Wile E.

of course not poor guy already gets such a hard lifeI will be in Juneau later this year but arriving by cruise ship, not plane.
A cruise up and down the Alaskan and British Columbian coasts

 

[Ibix]

of course not poor guy already gets such a hard life

I watched an episode with my son recently where the coyote actually catches the roadrunner. The expression of incredulous joy on his face was priceless and slightly heartbreaking. You know it's going to go badly for the poor guy.

 

[fresh_42]

A cruise up and down the Alaskan and British Columbian coasts

Be aware! If you order a whiskey people will call you an alcoholic. But if you order a Fanta nobody ...