Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

I think these guys have had one to many beers.

 

[strangerep]

Imagine the taste when that guy puts those falsies back in his mouth!

I guess he's the kind of guy who likes to go,... er,... downtown.

 

[WWGD]

4/3 of the people cannot do basic Arithmetic or Statistics...

 

[WWGD]

Jeffree is now officially Jef +$9.95 for Shipping and Handling.

 

[Ibix]

4/3 of the people cannot do basic Arithmetic or Statistics...

93% of statistics are made up on the spot[1].

[1] Ibix, https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/post-6188344, retrieved 3rd June 2019.

 

[WWGD]

93% of statistics are made up on the spot[1].

[1] Ibix, https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/post-6188344, retrieved 3rd June 2019.

How about the other 10%?

 

[fresh_42]

How about the other 10%?

Are normal disputed.

 

[Ibix]

How about the other 10%?

Lies and damned lies, I believe.

 

[jtbell]

What did the grape do when someone stepped on it?

It let out a little wine.

 

[DrGreg]

What did the grape do when someone stepped on it?

It let out a little wine.

Why was the grape on the floor?

The Grape Escape

 

[davenn]

What did the grape do when someone stepped on it?

It let out a little wine.

Speaking of wine...

There's an old Australian joke...
What is an Aussie girls favourite wine ?

"When are we going home?"

 

[DrClaude]

How about the other 10%?

There are three kinds of people, those who can count and those who can't.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[mfb]

There are three kinds of people, those who can count and those who can't.

There are 10 kinds of people, those who count in binary and those who don't.

 

[fresh_42]

There are 10 kinds of people, those who count in binary and those who don't.

This was already said

There are three kinds of people, those who can count and those who can't.

 

[Ibix]

There are 10 kinds of people, those who count in binary and those who don't.

Hurkyl's response to this upthread is good. Humanino's response - next post after Hurkyl's - is priceless.

 

[Fig Neutron]

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

 

[strangerep]

What is an Aussie girls favourite wine ?
"When are we going home?"

How does an Australian nurse know whether she had a good time last night?

[And would I receive an infraction for giving the answer here on PF?]

 

[davenn]

[And would I receive an infraction for giving the answer here on PF?]

probably hahaha

 

[gmax137]

Hurkyl's response to this upthread is good. Humanino's response - next post after Hurkyl's - is priceless.

Some of the others that follow are good too. I really liked the Olaf jokes. I don't remember reading those, but 2009 was a long time ago.

 

[jack action]

 

[Steelwolf]

^^^That first pig cheated by doing it 'Wright' ^^^

Although it looks like a bottle box (although it may have been a battery instead) next to it so they may have been flying to dinner!

 

[Fig Neutron]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s fine, he woke up.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Vanadium 50]

What happens when you play country music backwards?

You get your wife back, you get your dog back, you get your truck back...

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

​

 

[mfb]

@Dale: What happened there?

 

[OCR]

Yeah, a very smart fellow. .

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

What happens when you play country music backwards?

You get your wife back, you get your dog back, you get your truck back...

And you hear reverse-recorded messages that Elvis is alive.

 

[jtbell]

Why do fairies sprinkle mist in the morning?

They're doing their dew diligence.

 

[fresh_42]

And you hear reverse-recorded messages that Elvis is alive.

Well, you know he only left the planet.

 

[davenn]