Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

I assume the joke was simply not funny,which happens when

• [...]
• not funny
• [...]

You cannot make a more thorough analysis than this one!

 

[fresh_42]

You cannot make a more thorough analysis than this one!

It's always a good idea to place a tautology in an argument. It prevents you from being refuted.

 

[WWGD]

I worked with a German guy. One day someone told a joke in the office, and we all cracked up except for the German guy. "Stefan, don't you think that's funny?" I asked. He replied, "I will laugh later."

SNL's Sprockets with Mike Myers is my mental image. Favorite German sitcon: Who are you to judge? etc.

 

[mfb]

It's always a good idea to place a tautology in an argument. It prevents you from being refuted.

It's always a good idea to place a tautology or an argument in an argument. It prevents you from being refuted or not being refuted.

 

[Mark44]

It's always a good idea to place a tautology or an argument in an argument. It prevents you from being refuted or not being refuted.

Or not ...

 

[fresh_42]

"Why could Emmy prove her groundbreaking result?"

"Because she knew that Sophus didn't lie!"

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 253357

Jonapun decided to rock the boat. His ship has sailed onto the sea of lonely people. Good luck fishing a new mate, Jonapun.

 

[collinsmark]

"Why could Emmy prove her groundbreaking result?"

"Because she knew that Sophus didn't lie!"

Little does she know, she's got a noether thing comin'.

 

[WWGD]

So, what do you do?
I study archeology
You dig?
Not really, just some dumpster diving.

 

[WWGD]

New York is a (path-) connected space. There is always a socio path between any two spots.

 

[256bits]

View attachment 253357

Oh, She must be a Star trek fan
"Engineering to the helm! She’s breaking up, Capt’n, and can’t take much more!”

 

[jtbell]

Where does Batman go when he's got to go?

To the Batroom!

 

[fresh_42]

"I don't mind that you take our business vehicle for your visit at McDonald's."

"But?"

"Don't use our SAR helicopter again!"

 

[WWGD]

"You told me if I put a potato in my bathing suit, I would be more popular with women at the beach. Here, I am wearing it at the beach and it's not working!"

"You're supposed to put it on the _front_ , not on the back of the bathing suit!"

 

[Borg]

When my wife asks me "How was your nap?", I tell her that it was everything I dreamed of.

 

[davenn]

A thanksgiving day one ...

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

Happy thanksgiving to all the American PF members
Stay safe and enjoy the company of friends and family

 

[jack action]

On the Thanksgiving theme:

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

https://www.facebook.com/311842532684549/photos/a.336409800227822/662490277619771/?type=3&theater

 

[kuruman]

View attachment 253503

https://www.facebook.com/311842532684549/photos/a.336409800227822/662490277619771/?type=3&theater

I can see you brought home the Dalmatian. What about the mulled wine?

 

[jack action]

That is so funny! There is a local stand-up comic that just presented his new one man show: Dalmatians are huge in the countryside (my translation from french).

He does mostly one-liners and I saw an interview with him recently and he was saying that the show title comes from the joke that he was most proud of.

Now, you can find this joke easily online! That must feel like a D'Oh! moment for him!

 

[256bits]

I can see you brought home the Dalmatian. What about the mulled wine?

If he is glowing there could possibly be no wine left to display. ( Gluhwein )

 

[davenn]

I have a friend who's a professional skier.

His name is Al Pine.

 

[kuruman]

My uncle was a conductor.He got hit by lightning.

 

[DrGreg]

My uncle was a conductor.He got hit by lightning.

My uncle tried to be a conductor, but he couldn't get his train to play any musical instrument.

Alternative version for UK readers:

My uncle tried to be a conductor, but he couldn't get his bus to play any musical instrument.

 

[mfb]

My uncle tried to be a conductor, but faced too much resistance.

 

[Vanadium 50]

My uncle tried to be a conductor, but faced too much resistance.

True story - we once replaced a sign that said "No admittance" with one that said "No admittance - infinite impedance".

 

[Ibix]

My uncle tried to be a conductor, but faced too much resistance.

I tried to get a job as a conductor, but they sent me Ohm.

 

[gmax137]

True story - we once replaced a sign that said "No admittance" with one that said "No admittance - infinite impedance".

how did the crowd react?

 

[gmax137]

my grandpappy was a plumber out in the farmlands. his name was Doug Wells.

 

[BillTre]

Once saw a sign on a large grating covered hole in the wall.
The original sign "air intake" was replaced by
"Danger, entrance to warped space, Physic Dept. only".