Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

And where do boneless chicken wings come from? How can those boneless chicken even walk?

They grow in the same environment as square fish.

 

[davenn]

 

[DrClaude]

And where do boneless chicken wings come from? How can those boneless chicken even walk?

They can't walk, but they can fly!

(We're talking about wings, right?)

 

[davenn]

Q. What medicine do you give to someone who keeps buying sailboats?

A. Antibuyyachtics!

 

[mfb]

aisle B, back

I need your clothes, your booth, and your toilet paper.

 

[Ibix]

How do you make a sausage roll?
Push it down a hill.

How do you annoy Lady Gaga?
Poke 'er face

 

[mfb]

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When the punchline becomes a.pparent.

 

[jtbell]

And where do boneless chicken wings come from? How can those boneless chicken even walk?

 

[jtbell]

Overheard in the cafeteria at the eyewear company:

"I hear the presentations by the candidates for regional manager didn't go well yesterday."

"Yeah, they made real spectacles of themselves."

 

[WWGD]

They can't walk, but they can fly!

(We're talking about wings, right?)

I believe they can fly, I believe they can touch the sky. And that they're amazing with blue cheese dressing.

 

[Jarvis323]

How does a computer scientist choose their socks?

Spoiler

By solving the Weighted Min-Max Sock Mismatch problem.

Why do so many computer scientists not wear socks?

Spoiler

The Weighted Min-Max Sock Mismatch problem is NP hard.

 

[BillTre]

Taking advantage of a bad situation:

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 258589

I read this while sipping on my hisbal tea.

 

[jtbell]

What does an apiarist do with a hive when its swarm leaves or dies, and he's waiting for a new one?

He rents it out as an Air-bee-n-bee.

 

[256bits]

My girlfriend and I had a fight.
In spite, she went out to movie with a cannibal.
"A movie? Gladiator ?"

" No. I do miss her."

 

[WWGD]

It seems WHO was keeping some dogs ,testing whether they could get Corona. After concluding they could not, WHO let the dogs out.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[mfb]

If you have aliens, how likely are your family members and coworkers to get aliens?

 

[Jarvis323]

If you have aliens, how likely are your family members and coworkers to get aliens?

People who have learned that aliens exist should self isolate for at least 1 month to avoid spreading the condition.

 

[WWGD]

I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
"Stop shaking the stairs, you little #@#!".

 

[davenn]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[WWGD]

Overheard at a temple in an Indian forest:
" Me Tarzan, you Jain"

 

[davenn]

Did you hear about the Irishman that bounces off of walls?

His name is Rick O'Shay.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DaveC426913]

"One final question Mister Batman, if I may. You always crime fight at night. Why is it that you wear all black?"

"So I don't get shot at."

"Uh huh. And why is it that Robin wears bright day-glo colours?"

"So I don't get shot at."

 

[WWGD]

The new dyslexic priest warned me that heavy metal is the music of Santa.

 

[fresh_42]

The new dyslexic priest warned me that heavy metal is the music of Santa.

Sure it is!

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

Viagra shipment stolen. Police looking for hardened criminals.

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

Finland has just closed their borders

No one will be crossing the finish line

 

[Ibix]

When I was a kid it was my job to mow the lawn. One time I'd sprained my ankle and couldn't walk, so couldn't mow the lawn. My dad said it was a lame excuse.