Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

My dog was born without a nose.
How does he smell?
Horrible!

 

[Sofa]

"Could you remind me what the Japanese particle for possessives is?"
"の"
"Why not?"

Also:
A nation's navy employs mermaids to distract personnel of an invading force. They grant the nation time to evacuate civilians from coastal cities and towns. These are the Civil Defense Sirens.

 

[WWGD]

"Could you remind me what the Japanese particle for possessives is?"
"の"
"Why not?"

Also:
A nation's navy employs mermaids to distract personnel of an invading force. They grant the nation time to evacuate civilians from coastal cities and towns. These are the Civil Defense Sirens.

Sofa so good.

 

[Sofa]

I don't like eating meats like liver, intestine, or other internal organs. They're offal.

 

[DrGreg]

My dog was born without a nose.
How does he smell?
Horrible!

I call my dog "Isiah" because one eye's higher than the other.

 

[WWGD]

I call my dog "Isiah" because one eye's higher than the other.

Isiahn example of it daily.

 

[fresh_42]

"This tofu is already a bit dry."

"That's the grill lighter!"

 

[Ibix]

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

 

[Ibix]

I bought some shoes second hand from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

 

[WWGD]

What's your name?
Steve.
Is that short for something?
Yes, Steve $+ \epsilon$.

 

[WWGD]

When I go to a fancy place with a wine list I always ask with a straight face if they have my favorite, Cau Manuer( With French accent). Hope they never answer yes, or I am walking out on the spot.

 

[Ibix]

When I go to a fancy place with a wine list I always ask with a straight face if they have my favorite, Cau Manuer( With French accent). Hope they never answer yes, or I am walking out on the spot.

I call BS on that story...

 

[WWGD]

I call BS on that story...

I think you mean CS on it?

 

[Ibix]

I think you mean CS on it?

Gender non-specific bovine excreta.

 

[WWGD]

Gender non-specific bovine excreta.

I'll save that one for the hotdog place. Vendor is a Bio phd dropout.

 

[mfb]

I bought some shoes second hand from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Q: Why did you buy shoes from a drug dealer?
A: He was the sole supplier.

*cough*[/size]

 

[256bits]

I'll save that one for the hotdog place. Vendor is a Bio phd dropout.

Ha Ha.
One hot and steaming fresh a cow patty to go with the wine please.

 

[Ibix]

What kind of dog can do magic?

A labracadabrador.

 

[Borg]

When I go to a fancy place with a wine list I always ask with a straight face if they have my favorite, Cau Manuer( With French accent). Hope they never answer yes, or I am walking out on the spot.

Whenever a doctor asks if I'm allergic to anything, I reply "Just poison".

 

[davenn]

Dr Who - Star Wars crossover

 

[davenn]

My wife threatened to leave me over my obsession with horse racing.

Anyway, she’s at the gate... and she’s off.

 

[Sofa]

 

[BillTre]

Of course, repurposed from the classic routine:

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

Don't know how true this is, but I do know there is a Boring, Oregon and its a good story.

 

[WWGD]

My mother has been walking 3 miles a day for 10 years now. We have no idea where she is.

 

[Mark44]

My mother has been walking 3 miles a day for 10 years now. We have no idea where she is.

Sounds like something Steven Wright might have said.

While I'm at it, a couple more quotes from him.

"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely is not for you."

 

[BillTre]

I like side jokes, for example (from Groucho):
"Outside a dog, a book is a man's (person's) best friend.
Inside a dog, its too dark to read."

There are lots of jokes based playing with meanings of ____-side words.