- #8,086
'And here's a fiver for some H2O for you, barkeep!'jtbell said:Two guys walk into a bar.
Guy #1: "I'll have some H2O."
Guy #2: "I'll have some H2O, too."
They both down their drinks and guy #2 dies.
I didn't know about that chemical (although I could imagine it had to do with radioactive material), so I did a little search on the web for it. The first match was a water store. I guess they like the play on words but didn't know that the chemical really exists:Bandersnatch said:'And here's a fiver for some H2O for you, barkeep!'
Barkeep is buried in a lead coffin.
davenn said:I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
What is water? Is that this thing which is sold in bottles with the note: for external use only?etotheipi said:I heard that 100% of people who drink water die![]()
fresh_42 said:Is that this thing which is sold in bottles with the note: for external use only?
An excuse to recycle a joke I've told before on this site:jack action said:Free guitar, no strings attached
These type of jokes reminds me of what we told as school kids: free Greenland - off with the ice shield. Now that it actually happens it isn't so funny anymore.DrGreg said:An excuse to repeat a joke I've told before on this site:
Free barometer, no pressure.
Made me think of the Freemasons and what do they have to do with the mason jars.fresh_42 said:These type of jokes reminds me on what we told as school kids: free Greenland - off with the ice shield. Now that it actually happens it isn't so funny anymore.
In times like this, shouldn't that be "Stay Negative."Keith_McClary said:
Ah ... you think maybe that was the point of the joke?256bits said:In times like this, shouldn't that be "Stay Negative."
It's a weird world out there.
This also reminds me of an old pun: a fellow student hung a sign at his door "The only positive in my life has been the test!" Only that he meant another test in the 80's.256bits said:In times like this, shouldn't that be "Stay Negative."
It's a weird world out there.
Would this be of any acceptance in lieu of the howling wolf.phinds said:Howling wolf. We need the howling wolf icon!
But actually, because of the sarcasm w/ which they are spoken in that context they are actually each negatives and two negatives is just a negative, so in the WRITTEN version, he's technically correct but not really for the spoken version.DaveC426913 said:Linguistics Professor, to class: "A double negative such as 'I won't not' makes a positive. But a double positive never makes a negative."
Scoffing student in back row: "Yeah, right."
"Anyway, Skinny broke into the argument and said that he could prove mathematically that antigravity was possible, and Stinky said suure he could, and Skinny said sure he could, and Stinky said suuure he could, like that. Honestly, is that any way to argue? I mean it sounds like two people agreeing,"DaveC426913 said:Scoffing student in back row: "Yeah, right."
phinds said:But actually, because of the sarcasm w/ which they are spoken in that context they are actually each negatives
Yeah, I know, I'm a spoilsport. I do get the joke.
I disagree. "Right" can be spoken as "Riiiiiight" and is clearly sarcastic. Similarly, "yeah" can be spoken with pure sarcasm.DaveC426913 said:Not to belabour the joke, but...
The individual spoken words would not in-and-of-themselves constitute sarcasm. If the student had simply said "Yeah" that doesn't really have any sarcastic subtext. It's the combination in the oft-used phrase "Yeah, right" that begets the sarcasm.![]()