Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

The three hardest things for a guy to say are:

I was wrong
I need help
Worcestershire Sauce​

 

[Fervent Freyja]

 

[Fervent Freyja]

 

[Fervent Freyja]

 

[Fervent Freyja]

 

[jack action]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 275241

Reminds me of this SMBC.
(Click the red button.)

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 275303

Guess it helps that it has been developed in Germany.

 

[WWGD]

A specialist is someone who increasingly knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

 

[WWGD]

Well-timed pic:

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

Have you seen the new Covid-themed calendar for 2021? Every day of the week is Blursday.

 

[davenn]

Everyone knows who Karl Marx was.
Yet we fail to recall his sister ONYA, inventor of the starter pistol.

 

[DrGreg]

Everyone knows who Karl Marx was.

Yes, his grave is a communist plot.

 

[phinds]

 

[Ibix]

I went to the zoo the other day, and they had a baguette in a cage. The sign said it was bread in captivity.

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

As I'm sitting here watching TV waiting for the ball to drop in Times Square, I had a too-late idea. They really should have stuck red spikes all over the ball. Then when it reaches the bottom of the pole at midnight, they could blow it up!

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Ibix]

A woman was at a graveside, mourning her recently deceased husband, when a man came up and cleared his throat. "May I say a word?" he asked. She nodded. "Plethora" he said. She nodded and replied: "Thanks. That means a lot."

Another man asked if he could say a word, and again the widow nodded. "Bargain", he said. "Thank you," she replied. "That means a great deal."

 

[DrGreg]

Another man asked if he could say a word, and again the widow nodded. "Bargain", he said. "Thank you," she replied. "That means a great deal."

However, another person said "zero" and she said "that means nothing to me".

 

[256bits]

And another one said "Loan shark."
She said " Thank you. That means I will always be in your debt."

 

[DrGreg]

And another...

He said "Όλα τα ελληνικά" and she said "That's all Greek to me".

 

[256bits]

apologies I have another one.
One more.
" Kamikaze" he said to her.
And she replied, "That's just plane stupid."

 

[Klystron]

As the weather worsened at gravesite, temperatures plummeted, dark clouds hid the face of the sun; the last man approached the grieving widow and uttered one word:

"Snow".

"That covers everything", she murmured.

 

[Keith_McClary]

And another one said "Loan shark."

She said: "I may be responsible for his debts, but I'm not responsible for paying them."

 

[davenn]

I long for the kind of synonym rolls grammar used to make.