Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #1,086
If you throw a mime off of a cliff, will it scream on the way down ?
 
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  • #1,087
Isaacsname said:
If you throw a mime off of a cliff, will it scream on the way down ?

It will if you kick it in the groin and set it on fire first... I guarantee it! :biggrin:
 
  • #1,088
nismaratwork said:
It will if you kick it in the groin and set it on fire first... I guarantee it! :biggrin:

:bugeye:Remind me to stay on your good side.
 
  • #1,089
Isaacsname said:
:bugeye:Remind me to stay on your good side.

It's generally advisable, but mostly I'm just overly colorful in my writing. :smile:

Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!
 
  • #1,090
nismaratwork said:
Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!
Is that mimested or mimestated?
 
  • #1,091
nismaratwork said:
It's generally advisable, but mostly I'm just overly colorful in my writing. :smile:

Oh, and I was forced to watch a HORRIBLE mime for 1.5 hours when I was 6 years old... I think I'd have preferred a good solid molestation or beating!

You got off light, I was forced into it by my parents for a summer.

Let me tell you this :

It takes a twisted mentality and a derranged logic, as well as a deep-rooted affinity for generally freaking people out and completely alienating yourself from society from mere feet away.

'thimks to self'

" ...maybe that's why I was so good at it.."

:cry:
 
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  • #1,092
Isaacsname said:
You got off light, I was forced into it by my parents for a summer.

Let me tell you this :

It takes a twisted mentality and a derranged logic, as well as a deep-rooted affinity for generally freaking people out and completely alienating yourself from society from mere feet away.

'thimks to self'

" ...maybe that's why I was so good at it.."

:cry:

Shhhh shhshshsh... its OK... let it out... let it all out.

@ThomasT: Moleimed and Mimested... and oh yes, "MIME-RAPE"... they can do it from across a room!
 
  • #1,093
Heh... I'm suddenly reminded of Bloom County... Opus beats a mime to death with an Olive Loaf.
 
  • #1,094
nismaratwork said:
@Fit: Whoa...
:biggrin: I win. :biggrin:
DevilsAvocado said:
The only appropriate thing to say after being übernuked ... lol ... let’s celebrate this with cake!

[PLAIN]http://gallery.inferia.se/images/cake/nuked_cake.jpg[/QUOTE]
I wonder what uranium tastes like.
 
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  • #1,095
FtlIsAwesome said:
:biggrin: I win. :biggrin:

I wonder what uranium tastes like.

Actinic. :smile:
 
  • #1,096
Just make sure the uranium doesn't undergo fission while in your digestive system.

:eek::bugeye::eek:
 
  • #1,097
nismaratwork said:
Courtesy of Theoatmeal:

"What is a shark's favorite illegal substance?"
A: Reefer.
I'm a n00b. You'll have to explain it to me.
 
  • #1,098
FtlIsAwesome said:
I'm a n00b. You'll have to explain it to me.

"reefer" is slang for cannabis, marijuana, weed, herb, Mary Jane, etc...

... but it's a fairly old term, a la 'Reefer Madness'.

Specifically it referred to a particular kind of marijuana cigarette.

Reefs are also formations in water where sharks often hunt... so... yeah.

Lame joke, as advertized...BAH ZING!
 
  • #1,099
|<dorky scientist|on a hot date>|^2 = 0
 
  • #1,100
FtlIsAwesome said:
Just make sure the uranium doesn't undergo fission while in your digestive system.

:eek::bugeye::eek:

I like to eat two huge loads of uranium, neither of which is critical, but together they're supercritical... then I just hope I don't get constipation. It's even more fun with Plutonium! :wink:
 
  • #1,101
Who wants Kliban..?

You do..

http://www.blackjelly.com/Mag/gallery/klibanhome.htm
 
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  • #1,102
Isaacsname said:
Who wants Kliban..?

You do..

http://www.blackjelly.com/Mag/gallery/klibanhome.htm

"...were dealt with quickly and cruelly by time..."


I like this! Gary Larson and Kliban... two thumbs up
 
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  • #1,103
FtlIsAwesome said:
I wonder what uranium tastes like.

boner.jpg
 
  • #1,104
This guy will be a happy microwave engineer, alternatively happy sound engineer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGA7MEPfO-4
 
  • #1,106
:biggrin:
 
  • #1,107
You guys are funny, but you're freaks. :smile:

I hope that guy didn't sneeze after the picture was taken.
:bugeye:
 
  • #1,108
nismaratwork said:
You guys are funny, but you're freaks. :smile:

... eh omg I think you’re right ... I thought FtlIs was talking about URINEIUM ...


(THAT must be one of the lamest things in this thread... pleazzze?)

:biggrin:
 
  • #1,109
DevilsAvocado said:
... eh omg I think you’re right ... I thought FtlIs was talking about URINEIUM ...


(THAT must be one of the lamest things in this thread... pleazzze?)

:biggrin:

Oh... that has to be up there, if not tops. :smile:

sign0020.gif
 
  • #1,110
gatztopher said:
What do you call a man's lower leg? A mansion. - courtesy my brother circa 10 years old

I'm still trying to figure out what you call a boar's lower leg...

Isaacsname said:
I believe the word you're looking for is " Tasty "

nismaratwork said:
"Ham-hock"

"What's a ham-hock?" "It's a boar shin." "Oh... like eggs?"
 
  • #1,111
gatztopher said:
"What's a ham-hock?" "It's a boar shin." "Oh... like eggs?"

:smile:

I realize that may offend some, but that is absolutely hilarious to me, and VERY clever! Is that a gatztopher original?!
 
  • #1,112
You know when ABS first came out it was braking news.

Badumtish.
 
  • #1,114
Markface said:
You know when ABS first came out it was braking news.

Badumtish.

Heh... for a second I thought, "Badumtish" was the joke... then I said it out loud and face-palmed, "Oh... a rim-shot!".

That is a very lame joke sir... congrats! :wink:


@Isaacsname: I can't tell, but that site looks like it's not a joke... is there really a performing flatulist?!
 
  • #1,115
nismaratwork said:
Heh... for a second I thought, "Badumtish" was the joke... then I said it out loud and face-palmed, "Oh... a rim-shot!".

That is a very lame joke sir... congrats! :wink:


@Isaacsname: I can't tell, but that site looks like it's not a joke... is there really a performing flatulist?!

He's got multiple albums, and good taste in music to boot

Blue Danube Waltz

 
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  • #1,116
Isaacsname said:
He's got multiple albums, and good taste in music to boot

Blue Danube Waltz



Holy gas-cave fartman. :bugeye:
 
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  • #1,117
An iron worker walked into a bar. The bar snapped in two.
 
  • #1,119
Just a joke

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!:biggrin:
 
  • #1,120
@nismaratwork No... it's like three peoples' jokes mashed together. That's why threads like this are so good!

Say you have a set of mirrors that you only use after dark. What would you call the worst one?

Boba Fett, because he's your worst nightmirrrr
 

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