Collection of Lame Jokes

[DaveC426913]

This reminds me of a Groucho joke:
Besides a dog, a book is a person's best friend.
Inside a dog, its too dark to read.

*ahem*

Outside of a dog, a book is...

 

[sysprog]

@BillTre, please don't feel alone if you're feeling a bit chagrined in re the Groucho quote correction $-$ @DaveC426913 has (graciously) straightened me out at least a couple of times . . .

 

[Baluncore]

I was unaware of the quote's Marxian origin.
You sit by the fire, quietly reading a book.
Your dog lies by the fire, reading your facial expression, and becoming quite perplexed by the story you are telling.

 

[sysprog]

@DaveC426913 thank you for nicely reminding me of the definitionally prismatic characteristics of a prism.

 

[sysprog]

Much older - it was Star Trek having a moment of scientific accuracy.

It was Data on Next Generation, and it was "out", not "off" (I cheated and googled it, but how different is that from asking Data?)

 

[WWGD]

 

[DaveC426913]

It was Data on Next Generation, and it was "out", not "off" (I cheated and googled it, but how different is that from asking Data?)

I didn't actually recall the scene, but I am confident I understand the reference and usage.
Subsequent Googling confirms my suspicion: a blow out.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[256bits]

Big noisy protest at Canadian Parliament
View attachment 296567
(pareidolia)

Call it the Capital Trucker Festival running last week of January to February.
Nothing like a festival in the winter to turn the cold blues away.
( quebec city has its Bonhoome winter carnival )
Ottawa could charge admission and make it an annual thing attracting tourist dollars.
They have barbeques, bouncy houses for the kids, saunas, good music, dancing.
they even put up a kitchen house in about 2 days.

Instead, Ottawa wants to retain it's boring town personna and would like the festival dang down.

 

[Ibix]

It was Data on Next Generation, and it was "out", not "off" (I cheated and googled it, but how different is that from asking Data?)

I didn't actually recall the scene, but I am confident I understand the reference and usage.
Subsequent Googling confirms my suspicion: a blow out.

Yup. A ship full of redshirts got drunk on recycled plot from the original series, said "hold m'beer" and opened an airlock. Riker comments (for the benefit of the audience) that they were all sucked out into space and Data (for the benefit of pedants) corrects him.

Props to the writers for acknowledging from where the episode got its main plot device by directly referencing the events of the older one.

 

[DennisN]

 

[sysprog]

A ship full of redshirts got drunk on recycled plot from the original series

One of the first things I learned from my neighbor's color TV was if you're on Star Trek, don't wear a red shirt.

 

[Ibix]

One of the first things I learned from my neighbor's color TV was if you're on Star Trek, don't wear a red shirt.

I have read, but have not confirmed, that actually a red shirt is the safest colour. It's true that the majority of extras who bought it were redshirts, but the vast majority of away team extras were redshirts - so their survival probability isn't too bad. I gather that gold is actually the worst colour. Few of them beam down, but when they do they don't come back...

 

[DaveC426913]

I have read, but have not confirmed, that actually a red shirt is the safest colour. It's true that the majority of extras who bought it were redshirts, but the vast majority of away team extras were redshirts - so their survival probability isn't too bad. I gather that gold is actually the worst colour. Few of them beam down, but when they do they don't come back...

Yep. Some guy tallied the deaths in every ep.

Ultimately, red shirts win in the numbers game. There's, like, 350 of them.

The takeway is:
You're safest as red shirt crew; but woe betide the few who are tapped for away missions.

 

[sysprog]

My recollection is that red-shirt security guys were especially expendable.

 

[Ibix]

My recollection is that red-shirt security guys were especially expendable.

The point was that they only beamed down gold shirts when they needed an extra to do something other than stand guard. Main characters would normally do all of that, so they only used a minor character when they were going to be killed.

A lot of redshirts died. But percentage-wise, you really didn't want to leave the ship in a gold shirt, because you were just there to be killed in place of a regular.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[berkeman]

*Facepalm*

At first I thought it was about boiling water to sterilize it (I'm a skimmer, not a reader). So of course I didn't get the joke. Let me "read" it about 5 times so I can get the joke...

 

[WWGD]

*Facepalm*

At first I thought it was about boiling water to sterilize it (I'm a skimmer, not a reader). So of course I didn't get the joke. Let me "read" it about 5 times so I can get the joke...

No, I think you're just an egghead, like most of us in this site

 

[fresh_42]

No, I think you're just an egghead, like most of us in this site

No, he is job blind. They only use pasta water for infusions!

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 296958

Either that, or hunters should have to go into the woods unarmed and naked.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Guess cats are affected by TV/Movies:

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 296959

Wow, if I was a conspiracy theorist. My post number was 11,969. Apollo 11, 1969. ( There are much thinner premises behind some conspiracies).

 

[Keith_McClary]

View attachment 296959

For flat-earthers, it would be "You're one of those guys that believe in metrics".
(That would require a flat-earther who knows what a metric is.)