Collection of Lame Jokes

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

Why did the European settlers on Mauritius exterminate all the big flightless birds they found there?

Because they were tired of constantly stepping in piles of dodo doodoo.

 

[DaveC426913]

 

[nuuskur]

this got me in stitches

 

[topsquark]

View attachment 334790
this got me in stitches

The scary thing is, I have a friend who honestly would not understand this joke.

-Dan

 

[pinball1970]

View attachment 334545

She has a foot missing!?

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

She has a foot missing!?

No idea, though I doubt she could move around like that if she did.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DaveC426913]

Not a lame joke, just an admission.How I feel answering any question in the hard science subforums.

 

[berkeman]

Not a lame joke, just an admission.

Believe me, I feel the same when cautiously venturing out into other forums here. We have amazing subject matter experts here in the Mentor and SA corps.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[strangerep]

No idea, though I doubt she could move around like that if she did.

She probably just removed her prosthetic for the pic. A single nightstand getting ready for a one night stand?

Adam Hills gets around pretty well with just one foot. See his recent tv show "Grow Another Foot" about a (very) rough rugby competition for disabled people. According to Adam, it's about a bunch of disabled people trying to make each other even more disabled.

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 334833

That's the joke I meant to post and then forgot what it was.

Wife: "Oh my God, Honey! Bag your bags! I won the lottery!"
Husband: "That's wonderful babe! Just lemme know what am I packing for - mountains or beach?"
Wife: "I don't care - just get out!"

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[nsaspook]

A politician dies and ends up at the pearly gates. Saint Peter says “We have a policy for people of your profession. You must spend one day in heaven and then one day in hell. Then you choose where you want to spend eternity.”

He goes to heaven first where he finds angels singing and people playing harps. Heaven seems very boring to him so the next day he goes to hell. To his surprise he sees lush greenery and luxury five star hotels instead of a barren waste land and people being tortured. He’s greeted by satan who is wearing a tuxedo and sipping a martini. He says “Hell is misrepresented by humans. We have luxury hotels, the best chefs and top notch sports facilities including a large pool.”

The politician spends the entire day enjoying the luxury in hell. The next day he is taken back to the pearly gates and chooses to live in hell from now on. He is sent to hell. But this time he sees a barren waste land illuminated only by rivers of lava and hears the screams of people being tortured. Once again he sees satan in his tuxedo sipping on a martini. He asks satan “What happened to the luxury hotels?” Satan replies “Yesterday we were campaigning and today you voted.”

 

[WWGD]