Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Something about excitations? Real vs. virtual? Propagator? Expectation values?

"I'd love to study the excitations of your quantum fields"

"Can I apply my particle creation operator to your Hilbert space?"

I have a feeling I would be remaining in my eigenstate if I employed either of those.

 

[DrGreg]

I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?

 

[Borg]

I find myself both laughing and not laughing at these.

 

[fresh_42]

How about the answers?

"Can I apply my particle creation operator to your Hilbert space?"

The expected lifetime isn't worth trouble.

 

[Ibix]

The expected lifetime isn't worth trouble.

 

[fresh_42]

Another one:

Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?

Catch me if you can.

Or: Hi, my name is $\nu_\tau$.

 

[mfb]

I'm not sure if QFT has good lame pickup lines.

Can you put an upper limit on your uncertainty?

No, but a strict lower limit.
Pickup line uncertainty principle: We either know how lame a pickup line is, or how to use it. You cannot know both at the same time with arbitrary precision.

Or: Hi, my name is $\nu_\tau$.

"You won't even notice me"?
"Only your mom is massive enough to detect me"?

 

[jtbell]

I find myself both laughing and not laughing at these.

In other words you're in a superposition state which causes humo(u)r oscillations.

 

[davenn]

"You won't even notice me"?
"Only your mom is massive enough to detect me"?

leave my mom outta this hahaha

 

[davenn]

This is a couple of TV program screen dumps
Don't know if you have this show in the USA or elsewhere > " Have you been paying attention"

The host in the top pic asking a panel of 5 local celeb's about various things from the week that's been news
there's always silly responses as well as the correct answer

I think the actual Q was in relation to the gravity wave discovery a month or so back

but the cheeky response is probably very appropriate hahaDave

 

[davenn]

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/10419018_10152622938353678_3693372614087749544_n.jpg?oh=7a88d08e0071f2555231a8163f726abe&oe=587506D3

 

[davenn]

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Expectation values?

I don't get that one. What is being measured? Time?

Coupling constants, tunneling, harmonic oscillator, bound states, on all Four(s)ier transformations, Large Hadron Collide-r, heat transfer, or wave function collapse might work? Okay, I will stop now...

 

[mfb]

The Large Hardon Collider is a classic typo.

 

[Bandersnatch]

The Large Hardon Collider is a classic typo.

 

[DrClaude]

What did the Buddhist ask the hot-dog vendor?

Spoiler

Can you make me one with everything?

 

[Fervent Freyja]

What did the Buddhist ask the hot-dog vendor?

Spoiler

Can you make me one with everything?

...The vendor then gives him a hot dog and the Buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of waiting, the Buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"

The vendor smiles and says, "Ahh, change must come from within."

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

https://scontent-syd1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14581330_2137663706459046_2656123900574402272_n.jpg?oh=ad06adebef5bb3a20ad7a2c5cb1b4fc6&oe=58AA69B7

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Turtle-related:

 

[davenn]

https://scontent-sjc2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14657321_1036193383174136_4250092852937282462_n.jpg?oh=9bbc55b29499b03bca941ac719e33a20&oe=58A77950

 

[Psinter]

When you were a kid and your mom served you vegetables:

 

[davenn]

hahaha

 

[Borg]

That's awesome Dave.

 

[davenn]

That's awesome Dave.

didn't see my first skunk till my visit to the USA in 1999 ... it was in the wild roaming a field in northwest Colorado
we don't have them in Oz

 

[Borg]

didn't see my first skunk till my visit to the USA in 1999 ... it was in the wild roaming a field in northwest Colorado
we don't have them in Oz

You definitely can tell when there's one around.
A coworker hit one on the road a couple of weeks ago. He said that it ran out in front of his car but I don't think they go that fast. I saw one in the road a couple of months ago and it was clearly taking its time.

 

[Psinter]

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Copyleft -----|----- Copyright
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[fresh_42]

didn't see my first skunk till my visit to the USA in 1999 ... it was in the wild roaming a field in northwest Colorado
we don't have them in Oz

Well, it seems, everything is a little bit more dangerous down under than in other places. Even the drugs:

 

[davenn]

Well, it seems, everything is a little bit more dangerous down under than in other places. Even the drugs:

yeah, the cane toad is a nasty and poisonous species. An idiot, who shall remain nameless on here, introduced them in 1935
to control a beetle that was damaging sugar cane crops.
Unfortunately, the cane toad turned into a much bigger environmental disaster. They have no natural predators here and have
flourished and spread widely across the state of Queensland and now being regularly found in the northern areas of the state
of New South Wales. Dave

 

[fresh_42]

yeah, the cane toad is a nasty and poisonous species. An idiot, who shall remain nameless on here, introduced them in 1935
to control a beetle that was damaging sugar cane crops.
Unfortunately, the cane toad turned into a much bigger environmental disaster. They have no natural predators here and have
flourished and spread widely across the state of Queensland and now being regularly found in the northern areas of the state
of New South Wales.Dave

Don't mind. We have a small group of Bennett kangaroos somewhere in the woods here. I'm not sure if they're still around, but last time I've checked, it has been their fourth successful winter. And of course, greater rheas. And raccoons, we have many raccoons.

O.k., I admit not really poisonous, but funny anyway. The only thing I really, really regret is - I mean we even have populations of Alexandrine parakeets - however, what we do not have in the wild, and they would perfectly be able to survive here, so what we do not have is my absolute favorite of all birds: Keas.

 

[davenn]

Keas.

yeah cool parrots ...where are you from ... I have to assume NZ with the Kea comment ??

 

[fresh_42]

yeah cool parrots ...

The best.
And crows, which we have.

where are you from ... I have to assume NZ with the Kea comment ??

You should know better. But if you draw the diameter from Keas natural habit through earth, you'll be pretty close. And as far as Wiki is right, there are no Bennett-kangaroos in NZ.

 

[Ibix]

To understand recursion we must first understand recursion.

 

[1oldman2]

To understand recursion we must first understand recursion.

Nothing like a logic loop, thanks for the perspective.

 

[DrGreg]

To understand recursion we must first understand recursion.

That reminds me that on page 269 of Kernighan and Richie's book The C Programming Language, the book's index entry for "recursion" includes page 269.

Also, try googling for "recursion" and see what happens.