Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

Search your feelings, Bandersnatch. You know it to be true.

hahaha ... nice response

 

[fresh_42]

So this is then Nuke's father?

 

[DrClaude]

So this is then Nuke's father?

Yes, and his mother is Enola Gay

 

[Ibix]

hahaha ... nice response

I can do "Lame Star Wars refs" all day...

 

[Borg]

I can do "Lame Star Wars refs" all day...

Do you use the farce?

 

[DaveC426913]

That one on the right ought to be missing a string, no?

View attachment 109270

 

[Ibix]

Do you use the farce?

Binds the lame jokes thread together, it does.

 

[256bits]

I utterly refuse to do a Han(d)s Solo clapping lame joke.

 

[davenn]

hahaha ... gives the term "added value" a new meaning

 

[DrGreg]

I had a similar problem with a boomerang.

 

[Ibix]

Did you hear about the ship carrying a cargo of yo-yos? It hit a rock and sank 45 times.

 

[davenn]

I had a similar problem with a boomerang.

sporting ones should come back ... hunting ones shouldn't

and speaking of such, a song from my childhood ...

Dave

 

[fresh_42]

sporting ones should come back ... hunting ones shouldn't

and speaking of such, a song from my childhood ...

Dave

My Scottish song association from my childhood of a (yellow) boomerang wasn't much better.

 

[DrGreg]

Boomerangs were originally made from egg whites instead of wood. They were very unpopular and so were referred to as "Boo! Meringues!".

If that's not a lame, contrived joke, I don't know what is.

 

[davenn]

of a (yellow) boomerang

the first thought that came to mind was of a banana ??

 

[DaveC426913]

the first thought that came to mind was of a banana ??

Fewer concussions...

 

[jtbell]

"Boo! Meringues!".

That sounds like a Halloween "trick and treat."

 

[fresh_42]

Tonight a burglar broke into my house.
He searched for money.
I woke up and helped him.
In vain.

 

[davenn]

hahaha

well not unless you have a death wish

 

[fresh_42]

- job interview -

"What are your strengths?"
"I'm persistent."
"You'll hear from us."
"I'll wait."

 

[jtbell]

Another one from fifth grade:

I 2 a 4 a shoe.
I 4 a 6 a shoe.
I 6 a 8 a shoe.
I...

 

[fresh_42]

Apropos 5th grade.

Little John-Boy is sitting on the wall of the school yard as his teacher leaves school long after classes.
She asks him, why he didn't walk home. His answer:
"You taught us today Earth is spinning. I simply keep waiting until my house comes along."

(Dedicated to all who don't like these frames all the time.)

 

[DaveC426913]

Another one from fifth grade:

I 2 a 4 a shoe.
I 4 a 6 a shoe.
I 6 a 8 a shoe.
I...

Took me a minute to get it...

 

[fresh_42]

Took me a minute to get it...

Could you explain it to an alien?

 

[jtbell]

Could you explain it to an alien?

 

[Electron Spin]

I get it now.

Good! better drop it now... It will freeze up, glow green, and melt...

 

[davenn]

 

[OCR]

Took me a minute to get it...

My minute seems a lot longer than yours...

 

[Mark44]

Another one from fifth grade:

I 2 a 4 a shoe.
I 4 a 6 a shoe.
I 6 a 8 a shoe.
I...

My minute seems a lot longer than yours...

Read the first part out loud, try to spot the pattern for the fourth line, and read it out loud.

 

[fresh_42]

Read the first part out loud, try to spot the pattern for the fourth line, and read it out loud.

Thank you. Now I got it, too. Well, seems they've finally really created a black hole in CERN ...

 

[mfb]

Huh?

 

[fresh_42]

My minute has been definitely the longest.

 

[OCR]

Read the first part out loud, try to spot the pattern for the fourth line, and read it out loud.

Lol... I 8 a 10 a shoe...
Meaning... I ate a tennis shoe... ?

Is my minute over...?

Damn... fourth grade seems to take forever.

God, I hate math! ...

 

[fresh_42]

I've read today, someone wanted to know, who this Lars Krismes is, everybody is singing from.

 

[OmCheeto]

Another one from fifth grade:

I 2 a 4 a shoe.
I 4 a 6 a shoe.
I 6 a 8 a shoe.
I...

Fifth graders are pretty smart.
Well, that's the last time I remember being smart, anyways.

Anyways, I read yesterday, that a 5th grader once named a horse.
Or, more properly, he decided on the spelling: Potoooooooo

when the owner told him to write the name on the horse's feed bin.