Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #10,851
phinds said:
To go to the opposite of this garden, I'm reminded of the story of the American visiting London who, long story short, desperately needed a bathroom ("loo") to take a whiz but could not find one and was about to do it up against a wall in an alley when a cop ("bobby") tapped him on the shoulder and said Sir, we don't DO that here in London but if you'll follow me, I'll show you where you CAN go.

Bobby takes the guy around the corner and opens up the gate to this beautiful garden and tells the American that he can go anywhere in there. Guy does so, comes out and thanks the bobby profusely and says that must be what they call the British hospitality. Bobby says, well, no sir, it's actually what we call the French Embassy.
This was really good :biggrin:
 
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  • #10,852
Ibix said:
although I bet the staff wear heavy gloves and long sleeves when caring for the plants.
That is recommended for some of my garden plants. (The same books say the deer won't eat them. Haha.)
 
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  • #10,853
Ibix said:
The place is in the middle of London, which is full of little well-manicured public and private squares with gardens. The scary is deliberate and probably cuts down on the dead bodies found on Saturday mornings.
Thanks @Ibix yes I actually know the garden location , wikipedia has an article about it, is besides poison plants has other gardens with normal plants , a sort of garden of gardens.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Alnwick_Garden

Anyway I was trying to make a LAME joke about it , since this is a thread for that but I guess my joke was so LAME it didn't gather much sympathy even in the LAME section.

Speaking of LAME jokes, does anyone here remember the Britain's Got Talent contestant "Gatis Kandis" ?

When I first saw him I thought he taught himself comedy while serving time as a registered sex offender :biggrin:
 
  • #10,854
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  • #10,855
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  • #10,856
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  • #10,857
I dunno, the horse thing isn't working for me , could the horse be broken?
 
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  • #10,858
artis said:
I dunno, the horse thing isn't working for me , could the horse be broken?
More likely your sense of humor is broken. Or perhaps your attention to detail.
 
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  • #10,859
phinds said:
More likely your sense of humor is broken. Or perhaps your attention to detail.
I was going to say that maybe it is working.
 
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  • #10,861
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  • #10,863
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  • #10,864
artis said:
I dunno, the horse thing isn't working for me , could the horse be broken?
Maybe if you can find a good cowboy.
 
  • #10,865
artis said:
I dunno, the horse thing isn't working for me , could the horse be broken?
Just in case, you're not pulling our leg - do you really not get it?
 
  • #10,866
DaveC426913 said:
Just in case, you're not pulling our leg - do you really not get it?
WE have A leg?
 
  • #10,867
Ivan Seeking said:
WE have A leg?
Only one? Whose turn is it?
 
  • #10,868
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  • #10,869
fresh_42 said:
Only one? Whose turn is it?
I get the leg on weekends!
 
  • #10,870
Ivan Seeking said:
I get the leg on weekends!
You're kidding me. It is the weekend, and you obviously didn't know we had a leg!
Ivan Seeking said:
WE have A leg?
As soon as we know that we have a leg, the arguments start.
 
  • #10,871
  • #10,872
fresh_42 said:
You're kidding me. It is the weekend, and you obviously didn't know we had a leg!

As soon as we know that we have a leg, the arguments start.
No, I just thought we had two. And it is only the weekend on Metric Time, not Standard Time.

Who lost the other PF leg?
 
  • #10,873
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  • #10,874
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  • #10,875
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  • #10,876
I prefer this one because it speaks a truth about women versus men while dealing some warm, nutritious karma:A man was driving a narrow country road and crested a ridge. On the way down, he passed a car coming up the hill. A woman leaned out the car and yelled "PIG! The man yelled back at her: "COW!"

At the bottom of the hill he promptly rain into a pig on the road.
 
  • #10,877
phinds said:
More likely your sense of humor is broken. Or perhaps your attention to detail.
Ok I'll admit , I kind of did not get the yoke yesterday because I quickly gazed over the possible color explanations missing the gullible part... but then again @Ibix yes I was instead trying to make a horse joke.

In the end the joke is on me , well well it seems the "STABLES" have turned.
 
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  • #10,878
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  • #10,879
artis said:
Ok I'll admit , I kind of did not get the yoke yesterday
Vindication is mine!
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  • #10,880
DaveC426913 said:
Vindication is mine!
View attachment 290438
His head is shaped like an eye but his eyes aren't. :oldconfused:
 
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  • #10,881
Ivan Seeking said:
His head is shaped like an eye but his eyes aren't. :oldconfused:
I always thought of the shape as that of a football.
 
  • #10,882
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  • #10,883
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  • #10,884
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  • #10,885
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