Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Frabjous]

 

[berkeman]

 

[berkeman]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 349658

A colleague used to edit an internal newsletter with things of professional interest for people in various scientific or numerate roles. Having the kind of sense of humour that would go well on here, he used that pie chart (without the key) as the logo. He was very disappointed to discover that the next editor had changed it to use our corporate standard colour scheme and ruined the joke.

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 349681

Apparently wasn't a letter soup.

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[DrGreg]

0 zero
0 zero

(You won't understand my response if you don't have "Consolas" font installed on your device.)

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 350066

I am sure I posted the following one before, but it is good and deserves repeating:

- Is there a doctor on board?
- Yes! I have a PhD in population statistics.
- This man is having a heart attack! He is dying!
- Well, well … minus one.

 

[berkeman]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[gmax137]

View attachment 350301

Funny, I was just about to post this myself, lol.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 350301

The question is whether this information passes the smell test.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 350341

So much so, in fact, that it's been the leading cause of pipe corrosion ever since it got into our water system.

 

[DrGreg]

Further information: https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2006/05/17/1631494.htm?site=science/greatmomentsinscience

 

[DaveC426913]

View attachment 350341

Inhaling even small amounts of it can lead to choking, lung damage and even death.

 

[davenn]

View attachment 350341

https://dhmo.org/msds/MSDS-DHMO-2007-ChemSafe.pdf

hahaha

 

[Orodruin]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

ADMINISTRATIUM
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However it does have 1 Neutron, 128 Assistant Neutrons, 75 Vice-Neutrons and 111 Assistant Vice-Neutrons. This gives it an atomic weight of 315. These 315 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called Morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium, is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every other reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal life of approximately 3 years, at which time it does not decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganisation in which Assistant Neutrons, Vice-Neutrons and Assistant Vice-Neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic weight actually increases after each reorganisation.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government, large companies, health facilities and universities; and will often be found in the newest, best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

Unobtainium,
n. A substance having the exact high test properties required for a piece of hardware or other item of use, but not obtainable either because it theoretically cannot exist or because technology is insufficiently advanced to produce it. Humorous or ironical.
—
Listed in "Interim Glossary, Aero-Space Terms," as compiled by Woodford Heflin and published in February 1958 by the Air University of the US Air Force.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Orodruin]

View attachment 350673

But which option did he pick?

 

[Borg]

But which option did he pick?

E to match his grades in school?

 

[DrGreg]

Maybe about 39% of the audience didn't know the answer either, if we assume they guessed randomly (i.e. 10% randomly chose the correct answer)!

(Or maybe some audience members deliberately chose the wrong answer, for a laugh.)

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/metal)

 

[gmax137]

Insipred by the recently closed "death ray" thread:

 

[Astronuc]

View attachment 338154

Well, those born after that picture was taken aren't in that picture yet - but ostensibly most of their atoms were.