Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Bandersnatch]

Well, you'd think that. But have you ever wondered why does the flat Earth rest on the backs of four elephants, and not e.g. ducks, or armadillos?
The whole point of the four elephants, you see, is so that they may catch things pushed off by cats (with their trunks, doh) and put them back in.
As you can see, the flat Earth cosmology is far more robust than a layman might judge.

 

[DrGreg]

But have you ever wondered why does the flat Earth rest on the backs of four elephants, and not e.g. ducks, or armadillos?
The whole point of the four elephants, you see, is so that they may catch things pushed off by cats (with their trunks, doh) and put them back in.

But everyone knows it's turtles all the way down! How good are turtles at catching things?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Einstein and three of his non-science friends are discussing:
Einstein: guys I discovered recently that the fastest thing in the world is light!
Friend1: I've always thought the fastest was a fast closing door ... I can never catch it.
Friend2: Gee guys no! The fastest thing ever is thought in the brain ...
Friend3: (laughing out loud) That's bs! You guys are all wrong! The fastest thing in the world is when you have the runs*! Last time it hit me I had no time at all to either think, close the door or turn on the light! ...

*diarrhea

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[collinsmark]

Today's SMBC.

I love coffee, so I love this one. Note the reference to the golden ratio. Hee hee.

[Source: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/espresso]

[Edit: On a more detailed reading, I suspect Mr. Weinersmith might have meant to express the "Phicetto" as $\frac{\mathrm{espresso \ + \ milk}}{\mathrm{milk}} = \frac{\mathrm{milk}}{\mathrm{espresso}}$, given its location on the line. His original expression would have been correct if it was on the other side of "Antoccino." "A" for effort though.]

 

[fresh_42]

I love coffee, so I love this one.

You know, the first liter is the most important!

I'll never understand that milk thingy. The tough ones don't drink milk. They eat the cow.

 

[davenn]

haha

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

Commencement Speeches for Mathematicians
https://mathwithbaddrawings.com/2017/06/07/commencement-speeches-for-mathematicians/

 

[davenn]

 

[jambaugh]

What is the unit of time measuring how long it takes light to travel from the heel to the toe of a particular space-faring comic book character?

 

[mfb]

Not an answer, but something I noted:

I know how long a light-saber is, but I have never seen the time unit "saber" used anywhere.

 

[rootone]

Two scientists go into a bar.
One asks for a pint of beer and the other asks for a measure of vodka.
I forget the rest.

 

[fresh_42]

Not an answer, but something I noted:

I know how long a light-saber is, but I have never seen the time unit "saber" used anywhere.

Gives me an idea: Next time someone asks how tall I am, I'll answer 6ns.

 

[DrGreg]

What is the unit of time measuring how long it takes light to travel from the heel to the toe of a particular space-faring comic book character?

A buzz-year?

 

[jambaugh]

A buzz-year?

No, a Gordon Lightfoot

(I know it's not the best joke, and probably the younger crowd won't catch the references at all.)

 

[mfb]

That is a unit of length :(.

 

[jambaugh]

A light-second (,-minute, -year) is a unit of length. A light-kilometer(,-meter, -foot) is a unit of time. The "light" is the respective multiplication or division by c to transpose the unit type.

Assuming Flash Gordon has a foot of length 0.98357105643045 US ft long then this time unit will be 1 nanosecond. And of course the speed of light is 1x10^9 Gordon Feet per second.

And I so declare ... <with the tune of "The wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald" playing in the background> ... that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Feet and thus we should adopt a new standard for US measure, The Gordon Foot and the Gordon Lightfoot!
(3 Gordon Lightfeet to a Gordon Lightyard, 1/12 a Gordon lightfoot to the Gordon light inch... but we can just call it 1/12 nanoseconds. :)And since "Gordon Lightfoot" is a bit unwieldy we can just call that 1 nanosecond unit a "Flash".
"Honey, just going for cigarettes, be back in a Giga-Flash!"

 

[fresh_42]

I only know that if you break the toe of the foot in question, you'll get a Green Lantern.

 

[OCR]

Wait ! ... for just a Giga-Flash could you ?

I only know that if you break the toe of the foot in question, you'll get a Green Lantern.

And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Feet...

Did you mean: And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Foot... ?... carry on. [COLOR=#black].[/COLOR]

 

[jambaugh]

Wait ! ... for just a Giga-Flash could you ?Did you mean: And I so declare ...that this IS the length of Flash Gordon's Foot... ?... carry on. [COLOR=#black].[/COLOR]

Flash Gordon, we may presume, has both feet of equal length... 1 light-Flash long each. So it is not just the length of his left foot, nor just the length of his right foot, but the lengths of both feet. (So I guess I should have said "lengths".)

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

 

[davenn]

View attachment 208019

hahaha love it :)

 

[DennisN]

For the kitten thread or the science jokes thread? Hard choice... let's post in this thread...
I did not know that a cat had published in Physical Review Letters:

F.D.C. Willard (1975–1980) was the pen name of a Siamese cat named Chester, who internationally published under this name on low temperature physics in scientific journals, once as a co-author and another time as the sole author.
[...]
...the journal would reject this form on submissions with a sole author. Rather than take the time to retype the article to use the singular form, or to bring in a co-author, Hetherington decided to invent one.

Source: F.D.C. Willard
Paper: http://journals.aps.org/prl/abstract/10.1103/PhysRevLett.35.1442

 

[Bandersnatch]

Not sure whether it fits better here or in the lame jokes thread.
Anyway, I've just learned what acronym the 'H₀ Lenses in COSMOGRAIL's Wellspring' team has come up with.
I'll let you take a guess (no cheating with google!).

 

[mfb]

There is also the Cosmic Ray Energetics and Mass Experiment - flying to the ISS. Guess what the combined acronym is.

Yes it is.

 

[fresh_42]

Not sure whether it fits better here or in the lame jokes thread.
Anyway, I've just learned what acronym the 'H₀ Lenses in COSMOGRAIL's Wellspring' team has come up with.
I'll let you take a guess (no cheating with google!).

It could have been worse! Hint: use the "p" in Wellspring.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[DennisN]

 

[BillTre]

https://xkcd.com/1874/

I have an example of case #8 at home.

 

[fresh_42]

https://xkcd.com/1874/
View attachment 208663

I have an example of case #8 at home.

Me, too. I assume the place was not large enough to add all my faults?

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

As an aside

When I was doing geology at uni, we were taught about the method of using lichen growth rates
to determine times of last movements on faultlines