Collection of Science Jokes P2

[DrGreg]

Scientists have grown vocal chords from stem cells.

The results speak for themselves.



As announced 15 minutes ago on BBC Radio 4's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue.

 

[Mark44]

Math problem...
$\frac 1 n \cdot sin~ x$
$= \frac 1 {\rlap{/}n} \cdot si \rlap{/}n~ x =$
$= 1 \cdot \text{six} = 6$

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

 

[ChowPuppy]

Woke up today. Moved to the left, moved to the right.

Nothing changed, it's just a-Noether day.

 

[fresh_42]

The good news is, we've accelerated scientific progress by a factor ten:

Democritus - Rutherford: 2,300 years
Euclid - Bolyai: 2,100 years
Archimedes - Bernoulli: 2,000 years

Cardano - Galois: 287 years
Newton - Einstein: 228 years
Fermat - Wiles: 353 years

The bad news is: Since when do we assume dark matter?

 

[mfb]

GIM - Richter/Ting et al: 4 years (charm quark)
(C)KM - Lederman et al: 4 years (bottom quark)

You'll find a result for every range you want.

 

[collinsmark]

What do you get when you zap a seal with some electric charge?

Spoiler

A sea lion!

 

[Demystifier]

The Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says we don't allow higgs bosons here. The higgs boson says but without me how can you have mass?

 

[mfb]

“Simple: We don’t spin.”

scnr

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Self-driving cars?
(https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/do-you-feel-safer-with-self-driving-cars-on-the-road.925388/)
At least better than this:
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/lame-jokes.25301/page-203#post-5845263

 

[mfb]

Sex education for engineers

 

[extranjero]

This my simple idea can not be published in Nature, so, I publish it here :)
(Also, it can be used for getting military grants and in pseudoscience TV shows)

 

[collinsmark]

'Really more of a computer science joke, but anyway,

[Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/language]

 

[fresh_42]

'Really more of a computer science joke, but anyway,

View attachment 217768
[Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/language]

I had fun and answered this post with a sentence in my language and let Google translate it into English. The funny result was surprisingly close to the original ("suppose" is wrong, should have been "understood" plus various other mistakes), although of a terrible style and far too few commas:

Oh, if only you knew how little funny this is for me, who is used to speaking in nested sentences with objects placed at the beginning, for which this is more the normal state than the exception, then you presumably suppose that a simple substitution of the parentheses with commas, plus a translation that should be better than this sentence translated by Google Translate, resulted in a common sentence in my language, and how difficult it is for me to translate my English-language sentences into to cut it down in a kind of unnatural way, and to force it into an often too tight corset of a strict order of subject, predicate, and object, that they seem natural to a reader who is able to speak English.

 

[lekh2003]

xkcd.com is the place for tech enthusiasts and physicists to laugh. I would put some jokes here, but it would do everyone good to visit.

 

[fresh_42]

Flat Earth debunked.

https://www.facebook.com/tickld

 

[DennisN]

Time for some programming jokes (computer science)

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Time for some programming jokes (computer science)

Some people have seen lots of bugs ...
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/what-was-your-first-computer.934851/page-6#post-5912747

 

[Stavros Kiri]

And some "hi-tech" fixing ...
[Some guys just won't give up ... until it's "fixed" ...]

 

[DennisN]

 

[hyunxu]

Time for some programming jokes (computer science)
View attachment 218802

View attachment 218803

View attachment 218804

When I was practising C programming...the result - 1 error.Later I fixed and I view the result - 6 errors.Again I edited -1 error.when I show my teacher, now my teacher clicked for result- no error...
Till I can't forget what that computer did to me[emoji23][emoji48]

 

[hyunxu]

Man! It's awesome

 

[DennisN]

 

[lekh2003]

View attachment 219284

My eyes!

 

[hyunxu]

View attachment 219283

Kepler's law...i just learn 4 days back...but this one is funny

 

[hyunxu]

Real scientist or movie scientist? ?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 219284

Piece of cake! ...
Done! (movie scientist)
[

Real scientist or movie scientist? ?View attachment 219289

]

 

[hyunxu]

Oh Man!

 

[hyunxu]

Oo

 

[BillTre]

 

[Demystifier]

http://www.relativelyinteresting.com/20-jokes-that-only-intellectuals-will-understand/

 

[fresh_42]

Just read somewhere:

I make bad science jokes, because all good ones Ar.

 

[mfb]

TO₂ OBScURe?

 

[fresh_42]

TO₂ OBScURe?

Sure or as our special customer service SURE!