Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Drakkith]

Quantum Mechanics by Dr. Mel:

Caution, if you put it back on the shelf, it changes places with other books.

I figured the words would change states every time you open it.

 

[fresh_42]

I figured the words would change states every time you open it.

... or every time you open it, another book mysteriously closes.

 

[Drakkith]

... or every time you open it, another book mysteriously closes.

And when you read the book, you automatically know how the sequel turns out.

 

[Borg]

More Brewster Rockit.

 

[DrClaude]

http://smbc-comics.com/comic/duuude

 

[Borg]

I learned a new phrase today - Free Market Pooper.

 

[Torbert]

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/Newton_and_leibniz.png

 

[mfb]

Is 0!=1 correct?

Mathematician: 0 factorial equals 1, correct.

Programmer: 0 is not equal to 1, correct.

 

[nuuskur]

overloaded syntax :D

 

[jack action]

 

[HomogenousCow]

 

[DennisN]

Which drink is the most popular among electrical engineers?

Spoiler

Juice.

Which drink is the most popular among mathematicians?

Spoiler

Root beer.

Which drink is the most popular among astronauts?

Spoiler

Full Throttle.

 

[DrClaude]

Which drink is the most popular among mathematicians?

Remember: never drink and derive.

 

[Ibix]

Remember: never drink and derive.

What if I'm drinking proof spirit?

 

[DrClaude]

What if I'm drinking proof spirit?

If you throw up from drinking too much, is that proof by contradiction?

 

[mfb]

That's disproven by counterexample.

 

[fresh_42]

Remember: never drink and derive.

"Yes, I know, officer, hands off the wheel if drunk. And believe me, I tried for three miles but it was too difficult."

 

[DennisN]

@fresh_42 , can I divide by zero?

 

[DennisN]

Remember: never drink and derive.

Yes, and being sober is integral to safe driving.

 

[DennisN]

Quantum Mechanics by Dr. Mel:

Caution, if you put it back on the shelf, it changes places with other books.

And when you read the book, you automatically know how the sequel turns out.

You put a spin on the joke. Now the conversation has become polarized.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

Another Example of Cartoon Physics:

 

[Torbert]

 

[sandy stone]

In the interest of scientific accuracy, I must point out that flying fish definitely do fly, or at least glide for extended distances, as can be seen in any number of Youtube videos. Thank you, I feel better now.

 

[Klystron]

<snip>
Which drink is the most popular among astronauts?

Spoiler

Full Throttle.

That's easy. Any kid from the 1960's knows Astronauts prefer:

Spoiler: Astronauts drink

Tang!

But what do Cosmonauts drink?

Spoiler: Cosmonauts drink

Tang flavoured Vodka

 

[Ibix]

WANTED: DEAD AND ALIVE
Schrodinger's Cat

 

[DifferentialGalois]

Why was Tesla marvelling at his greatness upon comparison with Carl Friedrich Gauss?
Because 1 Tesla = 10,000 Gauss.

 

[DifferentialGalois]

Why was Tesla superior to Wilhelm Weber?
Because every weber per square metre corresponded to a Tesla.

 

[mfb]

Similarly: Fermat, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek. It is Fermat's turn to search the others, he covers his eyes and starts counting. While Pascal runs away and hides, Newton takes some chalk and marks a square on the ground with a side length of exactly 1 meter, then sits down inside the square.

Fermat finishes counting, opens his eyes and shouts "I found you Newton!"
Newton: "No, you found one Newton per square meter, you found Pascal!"

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

Shouldn't of a pumpkin cancel, though?

 

[mfb]

Pumpkin is the identity.

 

[Ibix]

Pumpkin is the identity.

I'm just going to carve a large $I$ on my pumpkin this year.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

If we cut a cake into 3 pieces, each piece will be 0.333 of the main piece.

If we multiply 0.333 times 3, we get 0.999.

So what happened to the 0.001?!

Spoiler: Answer

You will find it on the knife.