Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Ibix]

Why don't mathematicians go on holidays in sunny countries?

Because they can get a tan by dividing a sin by a cos.

 

[Ibix]

Why didn't Gauss contribute to group theory?

Because he wasn't Abel.

 

[davenn]

 

[mfb]

7 reviews from 12 guests? Way too many, that's how you know it's fake!

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I was planning to do my taxes in hexadecimal this year. That will put me in a lower bracket.

 

[fresh_42]

I was planning to do my taxes in hexadecimal this year. That will put me in a lower bracket.

Why not do it the right way? I recommend the sexagesimal system and cuneiform! And in case you were asked, you can say that IRS means "Information via Rosetta Stone".

 

[fresh_42]

 

[mfb]

Indifferent, because Descartes certainly knows that A=>B does not imply B=>A.

 

[fresh_42]

Indifferent, because Descartes certainly knows that A=>B does not imply B=>A.

If you take it seriously, then he didn't even say A=>B, because he only made a statement about himself.

 

[sysprog]

I think that Descartes understood that cogito ergo sum did not ipso res entail that non cogito ergo non sum $-$ thinking entailing being does not entail that not thinking entails not being $-$ he proclaimed that the fact of his thinking was a sufficient condition wherefrom to derive the fact of his being; he did not thereby identify thinking as a necessary condition for being.

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 273832

I have heard it's a dull place to visit. The only entertainment available are flags that don't even move. And there is no transportation. If you want to go somewhere you have to bring your own car.
Also, the service is terrible. And the WiFi coverage is absolutely horrible.

 

[fresh_42]

I have heard it's a dull place to visit. The only entertainment available are flags that don't even move. And there is no transportation. If you want to go somewhere you have to bring your own car.
Also, the service is terrible. And the WiFi coverage is absolutely horrible.

There are some golf carts for rent. You only need to bring some batteries. However, the entire 12,000,000 holes course is a bunker.

 

[mfb]

It's a lightly contested course so it's easy to set new records. And you have such a great view of Earth!

Social distancing and airtight face shields are guaranteed, too.

 

[sysprog]

View attachment 273915

 

[DennisN]

It's a lightly contested course so it's easy to set new records. And you have such a great view of Earth!

Social distancing and airtight face shields are guaranteed, too.

"Always look at the bright side of the Moon"


Armstrong to Aldrin: "Are you a person who looks at the oxygen tank and says 'it's half empty or half full?'"

 

[DennisN]

Another good thing about the Moon is that it is very peaceful there.
It is so silent you could almost hear a feather fall as quickly as a hammer.

 

[DrGreg]

I have heard it's a dull place to visit.

No atmosphere.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Indifferent, because Descartes certainly knows that A=>B does not imply B=>A.

It was a statement of observer dependence - he exists because he thinks he exists.

He used bra-ket notation in his original meditations.

 

[BillTre]

 

[DaveC426913]

Adam Savage for World Leader.

 

[davenn]

Christmas themed

 

[Klystron]

Rene Descartes's little known little brother, Bob, suffered from lifelong body order necessitating daily immersion in the Zuider Zee. Said Bob:

I stink; therefore, I swam!

 

[gmax137]

Christmas themed

View attachment 274025

attention @chemisttree

 

[Keith_McClary]

Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for December 16, 2020

 

[DrClaude]

https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/event-horizon

 

[DrClaude]

https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/coffee-3

(Click on the thumbnail to read.)

 

[chemisttree]

attention @chemisttree

So, what’s most funny about it? The tree (I spell it ttree) or the warning to me not to touch it?

 

[DrGreg]

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first asks for a pint of beer. The second asks for half a pint. The third asks for a quarter-pint. The fourth asks for an eighth of a pint.

The bartender interrupts to say, "I'll serve the whole group two pints, and that's your limit!"

 

[DaveC426913]

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

Q: How long does it take an infinite number of mathematicians to drink 2 pints?
A: 34 days.

https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-science-jokes-p2.847743/post-6416910

 

[DrGreg]

Q: How long does it take an infinite number of mathematicians to drink 2 pints?
A: 34 days.

https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-science-jokes-p2.847743/post-6416910

Oops. It appears that 34 days is how long it takes for one ex-mathematician to forget that they've seen a joke before.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

If you have an MRI done and then float on your back in a pool immediately afterwards, you will act like a human compass.

Tell your friends on Reddit. LOL!

With that in mind, true story: I used to work on mobile MRI units mounted on buses. They would travel to a hospital, power up the magnet, do some number of studies, power down, and then drive to the next hospital. On one occasion I had arrived at the hospital just as the MRI arrived. The operator came up to me looking a little faint. He was in a bit of a panic. He had forgotten to purge the 0.75 Tesla or so magnet before driving. He said he kept noticing cars swerving at him as they drove by.

The magnet was kept superconductive so it didn't need power to operate once charged.

I always wanted to park one up against a hardware store wall.

 

[Borg]

I wonder how many credit card strips got wiped that day?

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I wonder how many credit card strips got wiped that day?

Driving down the road? I don't know if it could have wiped cards in passing cars or not. I know that one time a D8 Cat got too close to one at a hospital site. That was bad. I don't know who won the tug of war but they ended up crunching together. Those magnets are insanely powerful.

One night I was working alone and needed to get to something on top of the magnet which was charged. We had Beryllium tools. And the chairs and other hardware were supposed to be stainless. So I grabbed a chair, slung my arm through the back so I could carry my tools, and walked into the magnet room. By the time I felt the tug on the chair indicating that it was NOT stainless but instead a regular chair, I was airborne. I probably flew a few feet through the air as the chair sought the center of the field and crashed into the magnet. It about yanked my arm off. And I hit my head when I crashed into the magnet but I was okay. I had to use a manual winch with about a 20 foot cable extended to get the chair out.

Back when I first started, we had a [very old] WWI vet at one hospital. The pin in his leg from the war was made of very low quality stainless and the magnet pulled the pin out before they could get him out of the field.

This was a fun demo we did from time to time.


Also


And

 

[Keith_McClary]

Also

In the middle video they are lucky the cable didn't snap!