Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Ooooo! I just heard the magnetic field flip! Should we now call the North Star the South Star?

NOPE it's now the star formerly known as North, with the new combinatrix naming of SNORTH STAR and N'SOUTH STAR.
How did you hear the field flip. I thought I had done that entirely silently this time, musta been that confuctivationalmodulatrixing booberplayer timing....

If the Earth's magnetic field flipped, and the last time nothing over 39 Kgs survived the toss, what are you going to do, this time, if you weigh in at 80 kgs?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons If the Earth's magnetic field flipped, and the last time nothing over 39 Kgs survived the toss, what are you going to do, this time, if you weigh in at 80 kgs?

Revert to my amoeboid state just before the event, divide into two 40 kg amoeba (amoebi?), wait it out, and when it is over think up a new user name for the new Zoobyshoe.
(Perhaps: Mr. Zooby Shoe.)

(Ah, comme je suis malin!) Where can one find one of those incredibly delicious pumpkin and liverwurst on sourdough sandwiches like they used to serve on the Rive Gauche, somewhere along le Rue de Lapin Mort, in the Cafe Vagabond back before the War?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
(Ah, comme je suis malin!) Where can one find one of those incredibly delicious pumpkin and liverwurst on sourdough sandwiches like they used to serve on the Rive Gauche, somewhere along le Rue de Lapin Mort, in the Cafe Vagabond back before the War?

Not sure about that, but you could try here in Kingston, "The Store Famous" might have them, I was in there the other day, couldn't afford Fame, so I bought rolling papers instead, but maybe you could afford it, or one of those famous sandwiches.

So what would you do when you find out you have been running the proverbial race of "The Tortoise, and the Hare", you are the "Hare", and this writter is the "Tortoise", you realize that the race is a planetary one, 70 % of the planets face is water, "Tortoises" can swim really really well, and Hare's are nicknamed "Shark's Q'tips" to all Ocean dwellers?

P.S. There really is a store called "The Store Famous" here in Kingston, corner of York and Barrie.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons So what would you do when you find out you have been running the proverbial race of "The Tortoise, and the Hare", you are the "Hare", and this writter is the "Tortoise", you realize that the race is a planetary one, 70 % of the planets face is water, "Tortoises" can swim really really well, and Hare's are nicknamed "Shark's Q'tips" to all Ocean dwellers?

Since the term "Shark's Q'tips" means "Of no use whatever to sharks", given they haven't any apparatus for manipulating a Q'tip and no interest in eating them, this is no concern. As for the expanse of water, this could be quite an obstacle. I think I will lie down, and take a nap, while my unconscious mind works it out.

P.S. There really is a store called "The Store Famous" here in Kingston, corner of York and Barrie.

I know. I own that store.Once, when I was dozing at a table outside a cafe in Paris called Le Lapin Dormant a somewhat familiar voice from a few tables away caught my attention, and, opening one eye slightly I was horrified to see it was my old high school math teacher, Mrs. Quadraticus, who was something like a cross between a screw at Alcatraz and a Tasmanian Devil. I disappeared from the premises rapidly, and in the process, neglected the bill. This has been weighing on my conscience heavily in the intervening years and I wonder what I should do about it?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Once, when I was dozing at a table outside a cafe in Paris called Le Lapin Dormant a somewhat familiar voice from a few tables away caught my attention, and, opening one eye slightly I was horrified to see it was my old high school math teacher, Mrs. Quadraticus, who was something like a cross between a screw at Alcatraz and a Tasmanian Devil. I disappeared from the premises rapidly, and in the process, neglected the bill. This has been weighing on my conscience heavily in the intervening years and I wonder what I should do about it?

"Yes son, your dilema is very clear to us all here at the "Phone in Psychiatric Center", The "PPC" where every call is important to U$, surely you have realized that you should immediately phone Mrs. Quadraticus and apologize to her in full, with admonitions upon yourself for eternal damnations should you ever have such heathens thoughts, about such a pure woman, EvEr again, failing that, you should do a self imposed penance as recomended by Sister Aldat Dizcip'line, from 'Our Lady of The Oaken Rulers", she'll make darn certain that that old adage of "Give a man an inch, and he'll think he is a ruler", never crosses your mind, (or knuckles too) and from there you can led a live of purity, and chastity that is the life you have always dreamed of! From that, you can probably make New friends, and with them, earn yourself some real honest money, then you can go back to that sweet little cafe, in "Paras", like you done told us, and work off your debt there too. Don't forget sweety, we have your credit card number, thanks bye!

What if all of a sudden, isn't?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally murmured over the "Help For The Hapless Hotline" by Mr.Robin Parsons, defender of psychopathic math teachers and disciplinarian clergy, and soon-to-be Prime Tyrant of "The Canadian Nationalist Party Of The Too Distracted by Internet Interests To Be Employed":What if all of a sudden isn't?"

There are precedents for this, and one hears rumors, so don't be surprised if suddenness isn't as unexpected as you would anticipate.

Once, when I was snoring sweetly at a cab stand in Paris, waiting for one of those two horse power taxis ironically referred to as "Les Lapins Rapides" I dreampt I was repelling down the side of coordinate system K' and encountered several tortoises plodding along a vector roughly 67 degrees off the normal of my own in a coordinate system K⁹ that was in relative motion with K' at a leisurely velocty of roughly 2 mph. I though to myself that if I let go my hold and landed on the back of one of those tortoises I could take a nap there while it transported me. But I woke up to see the taxi driver staring me in the face saying "Alors! Vous venez ou non?" On the way to my little Chambre, I related the narrative of this dream to him, and he responded "Je sais. Tout le mond a le meme reve." And so: Does Mr.R.P., too, have the same dream?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally snored into existence by the dream state of the "hariest of the hares" "slowest of the speedy" "deluded of the deluding, when being decieved" and generally "All round sound of emittent gases" zoobyshoe-The Foist, really number 12, in of all the "Books of ten"
Once, when I was snoring sweetly at a cab stand in Paris, waiting for one of those two horse power taxis ironically referred to as "Les Lapins Rapides" I dreampt I was repelling down the side of coordinate system K' and encountered several tortoises plodding along a vector roughly 67 degrees off the normal of my own in a coordinate system K⁹ that was in relative motion with K' at a leisurely velocty of roughly 2 mph. I though to myself that if I let go my hold and landed on the back of one of those tortoises I could take a nap there while it transported me. But I woke up to see the taxi driver staring me in the face saying "Alors! Vous venez ou non?" On the way to my little Chambre, I related the narrative of this dream to him, and he responded "Je sais. Tout le mond a le meme reve." And so: Does Mr.R.P., too, have the same dream?

Nope riding on a tortoises back is NOT on of my dreams cause I know all of those tortoises and I'll tell you about them, they look innocuous enough, but get near enough to any of them, and you will get to find out just how sharp a tortoises beak can be, nevermind the claws on the feet. See really they are the ones who employ the Sharks Q'tip's, use them for after going to the bathroom (or something like that) which is why you never find any washed up on the shoreline, well, except the ones that got away, but usually they are quite well marked, if they have any head, or brains, left at all (those kinds of tortoises are real fat lovers, and you brains is mostly fat sooo...) after those ones have had there way with anyone. So in conclusion, well clear enough, pedantic little ploglidites need not apply.

Just the other day I got a call from my foister sys, and was asked to assist them, in the Yukon, so I got on my bicycle and road out to the place that we had agreed upon. Arriving there the next day I noticed that my back wheel was slightly off, in the spoke tensioning, so grabbing my trusted spoke wrench I twisted the nipple till it cried out. My foister asked me to help, I had, and was now ready to return home to my tent, but wait, what had happened here?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons who, grumpy, after a long, sleepless night trying, without success, to salvage his essentially meaningless "Shark's Q'tip" metaphore, came to the decision, for reasons only understandable to the mind of one who could put such extended thought into the subject of tortoises wiping themselves, to ask this oblique quetion:
...but wait, what had happened here?

Given the ambiguity of the evidence presented, any specific retort would be wild speculation. I would rather present an expression of hope that the character on the bicycle experienced an epiphany of some sort amounting to the realization that a "funny" thread on a public internet forum should not be confused with an opportunity to engage in not-so-thinly-veiled, somehat uncomfortably direct, man-on-an-analyst's-couch, freeform, monologising about personal problems which readers are in no position to address in any usefull manner under the circumstances, and who wish things could just go back to being whacky and careless here, there being many other locations for every nature of intense and serious discussion of authentic problems.

So, while you are waiting for Godot:

If this had been an actual emergency you should:

A. Burn the bicycle at the stake?

B. Place it in a crate and ship it to Batelles for efficiency testing?

C. Harness it to tortoises for a tow back to the Yukon?

E. Look up the word "sesquepedalian" in the Oxford English Dictionary?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
A. Burn the bicycle at the stake?

B. Place it in a crate and ship it to Batelles for efficiency testing?

C. Harness it to tortoises for a tow back to the Yukon?

E. Look up the word "sesquepedalian" in the Oxford English Dictionary?

F. explain to the self-inflated respondant that although he accuses of "too much time" to the other side, he too seems to have all the same amount of time, and uses his life experaince, oooop nay has none, otherwise he would have been able to discern the difference 'twixts people like him, and myself. After all, me engaging in any work, in this country, would be paramount to me paying taxes to the Facist who oppresses me, (how stupid is that?? or better put how stupid is the one who recomends that?? but I digress) and that is about as anti-democratic as one can possible get, (but he is an American what does he know about democracy??) so I would continue to venture forth, and include whatever I possible can to get a laugh (if possible) and including maligning myself, as I have in the past, but not maligning others (to severely) as it just isn't funny, as exemplified by the above posting.

Would you feed the hand that bites you?

EDIT Changed the quention! lOOk! over there!----------->>>

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons Would you feed the hand that bites you?

It's funny you should ask that quetion because I can't really think of a horror movie that included the device of a hand with teeth, a biting hand. It seems that they've thought of just about everything, but that has never come up.Once when I was at my villa in Italia, I overheard one of the servants saying to himself: "Nell'aria fredda della notte scura il mio spirito e invincible." At which, I had to chuckle, and say to myself, "Yeah, you wish." Given the facts of this anecdote how do you suppose Arnold Schwarzenegger won the election?

 

[sandinmyears]

Do you think "Edelweiss" will become the new state song/anthem?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
Once when I was at my villa in Italia, I overheard one of the servants saying to himself: "Nell'aria fredda della notte scura il mio spirito e invincible." At which, I had to chuckle, and say to myself, "Yeah, you wish." Given the facts of this anecdote how do you suppose Arnold Schwarzenegger won the election?

Coupled with;

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Do you think "Edelweiss" will become the new state song/anthem?

Well the second quention answers the first quention, by way of an answer derived from the first quention's riddle, that isn't answered by the answer to the second question, but by an answer that comes from the answer to the second question, that answers the first quention's answer, by reference to the responce of the answer's quention.

Got that?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Got that?

Got milk. Haven't got that.If Peter pecker pricked a peck of pickle pickers, how many years would he get?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If Peter pecker pricked a peck of pickle pickers, how many years would he get?

Time served, and about five years less then the person who dreamed up the question.

If you were traveling in outer space, and something happened, what was it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If you were traveling in outer space, and something happened, what was it?

I wouldn't mind being in space right now. In space I couldn't hear you get your tenses mixed up.Now that Arnold S. is Governor of the state of California do you think we'll be seceding from the Union?

 

[sandinmyears]

ALTERNATIVE ANSWER:

Time served, and about five years less then the person who dreamed up the question.

Q: If you were traveling in outer space, and something happened, what was it?

A: If I were to serve time, outer space would be the space to do it where time has no meaning.
______________________________________________________________________

Now that Arnold S. is Governor of the state of California do you think we'll be seceding from the Union?

A: If you resign from the union, you may find yourself in the same predicament as Jimmy Hoffa. :D

Q: When all it said and done and fought and tried to all avail,
Do you keep on pushing, fighting, trying, or give in and vote for Dan Quayle?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Origianlly posted by sandinmyears
Q: When all it said and done and fought and tried to all avail,
Do you keep on pushing, fighting, trying, or give in and vote for Dan Quayle?

Well, being from Canada, Yeah sure!

If trying, and fighting, and effort and everything you do/try doesn't work, why is it that then, and only then, nOt trying, is the thing to try?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If trying, and fighting, and effort and everything you do/try doesn't work, why is it that then, and only then, nOt trying, is the thing to try?

You cannot try to not try without trying. Try tickling.Whyis Mr. Robin Parsons up past his bedtime?

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Why is Mr. Robin Parsons up past his bedtime?

A: Though robins are typically known to go to bed (and wake up) early, parsons, on the other hand, must stay up late in order to contact the members of their congregation on a regular basis.

Q: In the Guiness Book of World Records, who was the youngest person to have ever been born?

 

[photon]

qand a

They were about 2i years old. ("i" is for imaginary number.)

What does the "T" stand for in T-shirt?

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by photon
What does the "T" stand for in T-shirt?

A: "T"

Q: Is it really Dolly Parton's hair that makes her "top heavy?"

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Q: Is it really Dolly Parton's hair that makes her "top heavy?"

PSsssst NOPE! Pssssst it's really her Brain!

Since Dolly Parton is already World ReKnown, will typing her name, here, make her even more Famous?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Since Dolly Parton is already World ReKnown, will typing her name, here, make her even more Famous?

It will, and you will be happy to know she is already on a plane on her way to Kingston to personally
thank you. (Clean up the tent!)Given the impending marriage between Dolly and Mr. Robin Parsons, won't it simply be easier for all involved for Mr. Robin Parsons to become Mr. Robin Parton than it would be for Dolly Parton to become Dolly Parsons?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
(Clean up the tent!) DONE!
Given the impending marriage between Dolly and Mr. Robin Parsons, won't it simply be easier for all involved for Mr. Robin Parsons to become Mr. Robin Parton than it would be for Dolly Parton to become Dolly Parsons?

Nah, I would become Mr. Dolly Parton, and she could become Mrs. Dolly Parton!

If the situation was, somehow, rearranged such that it was actually Greg Bernhardt who was going to marry Ms. Parton, what would that result in?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If the situation was, somehow, rearranged such that it was actually Greg Bernhardt who was going to marry Ms. Parton, what would that result in?

As with anyone who married her he would find himself with more than a handful to handle.Is is true that the common "June Bug" has sences which enable it to detect AM frequencies, thus accounting for its inability to demonstrate anything amounting to "skill" when it comes to landing at the end of a flight?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally postulated by zoobyshoe
Is is true that the common "June Bug" has sences which enable it to detect AM frequencies, thus accounting for its inability to demonstrate anything amounting to "skill" when it comes to landing at the end of a flight?

Well while reading the latest edition of "The Ontological Musings of The Temporally Neophytic vernal Flying Insect" I came across the quotation of the premature Author ranting something along the lines of enjoying the cronings of people like Conway Twitty, The Melodies of J. Cash, the tunes of a Ms. Dolly Parton as well, but some aside notation of him clamouring about a friend of his, who, apparently was born with crossed antennae, and seems to be under the impression that he is about to come into a small horde of Human possessions, a truck, a house, a guitar, a wife, a dog, a tractor, that kind of stuff, so who knows?

Well then, that does beg the question, Who knows?

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
...seems to be under the impression that he is about to come into a small horde of Human possessions, a truck, a house, a guitar, a wife, a dog, a tractor, that kind of stuff, so who knows?

Well then, that does beg the question, Who knows?

A: I fail to find the question you are begging.

Q: If E(minor) is the relative minor to G(major); A(minor) is the relative minor to C(major); and D(minor) is the relative minor to F(major); then according to Einstein's theory of relativity, what key should Dolly Parton be singing in if her bra cup side is a "Double D"?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by sandinmyears Q: If E(minor) is the relative minor to G(major); A(minor) is the relative minor to C(major); and D(minor) is the relative minor to F(major); then according to Einstein's theory of relativity, what key should Dolly Parton be singing in if her bra cup side is a "Double D"?

One doesn't need relativity to know that as long as she is wearing a Well-Tempered Brassiere her singing will sound good in all keys.They say Bach had 21 children because his organ had no stops.
Others have suggested he had an instinct for choosing wives who never suffered from headaches. What is the real reason behind his prolificity?

 

[FZ+]

Bach was an early pioneer of Everett's many worlds theory, and hence was able to exploit loopholes in the laws of the universe to "interact" briefly across universes - as long as he was really quick about it, he had all the energy for the "reactions" he required just from quantum uncertainty.

Where's the fun in that?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by FZ+ Where's the fun in that?

Well, it's counterintuitive fun.Sometime after the War of 1812 but before World War One, I found myself to be the age of fourteen., and, that being the case, I ran away from home and found employment aboard a whaler out of Falmouth, Massachusettes, USA. One day, not very far at all off the coast of Tenerife, another sailor and I were pulling the holystone back and forth across the deck scraping up the drippings from the recent tarring of the ratlines, when all of a sudden my companion in this task pinned my ears back to my scull by breaking out into a full-voiced sea chanty whose lyrics were the foulest you could imagine and whose content was the story of an imaginary unnatural relationship he proposed was taking place on a regular basis between the old man and the first mate.What do you do with a drunken sailor?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by zoobyshoe
What do you do with a drunken sailor?

Do you mean before you hijack them, to become a drunken sailor, or post hijacking, cause post hijacking is easier, push!

If the planet turns it's full circumference (~25,000 mi) in 24 hrs, (~1,100 mph) how the heck do we get twenty five time zones?, on the face of the planet?

 

[quantumdude]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If the planet turns it's full circumference (~25,000 mi) in 24 hrs, (~1,100 mph) how the heck do we get twenty five time zones?, on the face of the planet?

Time is dilated at the equator. This is a well-known result of the Theory of General Triviality.

If humans weren't meant to eat animals, then why are animals made of meat?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Tom If humans weren't meant to eat animals, then why are animals made of meat?

We cannot eat animals because they have a face. You cannot eat anything with a face. The meat at the store, is different from animal meat, because it doesn't have a face. I don't know how they get the faces onto the meat when they make it into animals, but once they do, you can't eat it.If you kidnap a kitten are you a catnapper?

 

[Doc]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe


If you kidnap a kitten are you a catnapper?

No, you just saved it from getting eaten by my dog!

If the Earth is 'fatter' around the middle (equator) then it has to be farther from the center (on average) than any other point on the planet. Why is it then that water flows towards the equator when it is clearly UP HILL?

The above question has a serious answer which I would HOPE that many of you would know. Feel free to answer it in ANY way you choose.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by The above question has a serious answer which I would HOPE that many of you would know. Feel free to answer it in ANY way you choose.

In that case let me tell you about life on my homeplanet, Zoobonia, where there is no equator. There are four magnetic poles, all in constant motion, and the axis of rotation shifts at the drop of a hat. This is why hats are outlawed. Water runs anywhere it wants there because each molecule is outfitted with its own little feet and zoobyshoes. We spend most of our time catching water. Sometimes these things we have there that are something like skunks fall into the water traps and it's very unpleasant to get them out.What's the least unpleasant way to get a zoobonian sort-of-like-a-skunk-thing out of a water trap?