Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by a quizical zoobonian
What's the least unpleasant way to get a zoobonian sort-of-like-a-skunk-thing out of a water trap?

Well in these kind of cuircumstances, it is best if you just leave the little sucker there till they either, die of natural causes, or leave of their own accord, as anything else you try will result in a zoobinian skunk-like-thing-a-ma-jogger spraying you completely, without remorse, with an odor that cannot be described, suffice to say it is as near lethal, as lethal can be, without being lethal.

How close can you get to lethal without being lethal?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
How close can you get to lethal without being lethal?

No Zoobonian would be able to answer that quetion because on Zoobonia life and death are quantized: you're either one or the other. If a zoobie flops over and stops moving, he's dead. If he's not dead he won't flop over and stop moving.
This was a big problem for me when I first came to this planet and went big game hunting. I shot a bear and it flopped over and stopped moving. I guess you can imagine what happened nextWhat happened next?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What happened next?

It arose, and asked this stupid quention...

If a bear does "their business" in the woods, why do they keep getting those ridiculus residual cheques, from those 'toilet paper people', every week, in the mail?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If a bear does "their business" in the woods, why do they keep getting those ridiculus residual cheques, from those 'toilet paper people', every week, in the mail?

Toilet paper comes from trees. Trees are protected by Smokey The Bear who frequently cautions: "Only you can prevent forest fires!"

So these checks are under-the-table payments in remuneration for the demeaning dog-and-pony show bears are always putting on for people who come across them in the woods when they don their hats and, pretending to be Smokey, tell them not to burn the woods down.
No woods, no toilet paper. That's what the companies are up to.When bears rub their backs on trees to allieviate the terrible itching the trees are suffering in their dry, cracking bark, isn't it nice of them?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When bears rub their backs on trees to allieviate the terrible itching the trees are suffering in their dry, cracking bark, isn't it nice of them?

That's funny, and the Bears told me it was all a "Conspiracy Theory" Ha hahahahahahaahh!

If the Bears really are being nice to the trees, how is it that the trees reciprocate?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If the Bears really are being nice to the trees, how is it that the trees reciprocate?

The trees provide cover for the bears to hide behind when relieving themselves. When someone is standing behind a tree staring at it, can the tree sense it is being watched? Or can it only see out the front?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
When someone is standing behind a tree staring at it, can the tree sense it is being watched? Or can it only see out the front?

The answer to the quention, can be found, simply, by standing 'Behind' a tree!

When a tree "releaves" itself in the woods, what does it use as wipe?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When a tree "releaves" itself in the woods, what does it use as wipe?

In general I know myself not to be qualified to address Botany quetions, therefore your best bet is to call your local chapter of The Society For The Advanced Study Of Plant Excretions who, I'm sure, will be able to placate your curiosity about this.If a tree falls over in the woods, and there is no one there to hear it, who is there to free the bears that get trapped by the falling tree, because they were too distracted doing their "business" to get out of the way?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If a tree falls over in the woods, and there is no one there to hear it, who is there to free the bears that get trapped by the falling tree, because they were too distracted doing their "business" to get out of the way?

The Society For The Advanced Study Of Plant Excretions, which is why when I called, them no one was there!

If a member of a society, isn't there, are they still a member?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If a member of a society, isn't there, are they still a member?

To the best of my knowledge, most societies operate on the opposite of the Hotel California principle: you can leave any time you want, but you can't check out.If a bear falls over in the woods and there's no one to hear it, would the bear's own testimony as to whether it made a sound be acceptable?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If a bear falls over in the woods and there's no one to hear it, would the bear's own testimony as to whether it made a sound be acceptable?

(i)D(i)Dot Typisssst here, as lawyer for the bears my client invokes his "Fifth Amendament" Rights, refuses to responce on the ground(s) of his inability to do so, and my refusal to translate anything he can, does, or might, mention to me.

* How stupid do you need to be, to write out a joke, send it to The Johnny Carson Show, only to remember, later, that the place that you learned the joke from, was watching The Johnny Carson show!??


P.S. * Actually did that!

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
* How stupid do you need to be, to write out a joke, send it to The Johnny Carson Show, only to remember, later, that the place that you learned the joke from, was watching The Johnny Carson show!??

Degree of stupidity is not the issue here. This is a matter of a very special and entertaining variety of stupidity the likes of which were not seen again till this thread.If a comedian falls over in the woods, and there's no one there to laugh at him, is it still funny?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally asked by a rapacious zoobyshoe
If a comedian falls over in the woods, and there's no one there to laugh at him, is it still funny?

Depends upon the angle of the fall, and does he do a "tuck and roll" and most importantly, was he hit by the tree, cause YA, it's (not) funny!

If you run out of funnies, should you begin to make them up??

 

[Zargawee]

If you run out of funnies, should you begin to make them up??

Nahh , I will import them. I won't bother myself with that [zz)]

Why human can't talk to cats while cats can talk to cats ? are cats more intelligent than human ?

 

[Mattius_]

Has anyone kept up with and read everyone of these 54 pages of post?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Zargawee are cats more intelligent than human ?

Of course they are! Haven't you ever looked up to see your cat staring at you? It's like they know something!
If a cat falls over in the woods what was it doing walking on two feet in the first place?

 

[syano]

If a cat falls over in the woods what was it doing walking on two feet in the first place?

The cat was praying…it’s impossible for cats to pray without putting their two front hands together in front of their face, so they stand up to free up their hands.


Does a cat in the woods get sidetracked if it falls down in the middle of a prayer?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by syano Does a cat in the woods get sidetracked if it falls down in the middle of a prayer?

I shouldn't think so. Probably all that happens is it will go to hell.
When I was in college, back before World War One, the physics professor once delivered an extrordinary lecture on the true nature of the Aether, which he likened to a fishbowl sitting in a spring fed pool, whose surface was continually disturbed by pebbles tossed by careless children. No one had the vaguest idea what he meant. He backed it all up with formulas and even tossed pebbles at the students. Then he began plucking hairs from his beard, one by one, and holding them up for us to examine cried: "See?, See?" We all left, never returned to his lectures, and were all shocked to discover we had been given high grades when the year was over.

Given the facts of the above anecdote, if a debearded professor falls over into a spring-fed pool while clutching pebbles and crying "See?, See?" but there's no one there to hear him, does the Aether still exist?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally penned by an emotionally stable, yet pensive and curious zoobyshoe
Given the facts of the above anecdote, if a debearded professor falls over into a spring-fed pool while clutching pebbles and crying "See?, See?" but there's no one there to hear him, does the Aether still exist?

Thats hillarious, I was just havng this very debate just last week with my world reknown Ontological Professor Dr. Dot Diit. They stated that the proving of it was expletive, inasmuch as, it's obviousness was only slightly precluded by it's opacity, coupled to it's clear diaphaneous nature that provided a translucent view of the zero light value emissions that are know to occur for such and such a regions of space. Now as long as he doesn't drop the pebbles, then you will have what you saught, from the outset, but the truest of proofs is clearly inset in the bubbles of expression of proof, that is the "See See" statements, as they eminate from within the actual mediums supposed existent vacuum.

Given that strength of proof, should anyone in the entirely of the planetoidial region, decide anything other then the obvious?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Given that strength of proof, should anyone in the entirely of the planetoidial region, decide anything other then the obvious?

The answer to that leading quetion, leads me to its answer, namely: that very goal toward which the bait draws the respondant, which, in less clear terms, could be thought of as an affirmative or anti-negative conclusion. But that might be too hasty. So let me look more closely at the word obvious. Let me repeat it to myself so many times it is no longer obvious what it means, which is a meaningless way of obviating the quetion about the word obvious, a statement which means more than it sounds like it means, but I don't expect that to be obvious to anyone.What percentage of people reading that do you suppose understood it?

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What percentage of people reading that do you suppose understood it?

A: I'm sorry Zooby, could you please restate that? I didn't quite understand your quetion?

Q: If you pull off a flies wings, is he now a "walk?"

And no, Zooby, I didn't steal that quetion from "you know who." He stole it from me in a telepone (note the mispelling) conversation. It was mine first.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by sandinmyears
If you pull off a flies wings, is he now a "walk?"

This quetion makes assumptions about the possesive form of the word "fly" that I don't think the quetioner is qualified to make. It additionally makes assumptions about the gender of the the fly that are gratuitous, and therefore, superfluous. It also makes assumptions about the status of the fly in terms of it being living or dead. For if we start to ponder whether or not a change in its ability to fly requires a change in its name, then we might just as well ask if all non-living flies shouldn't be called "lies".If you pull the wings off a boeing 747 what do you call it?

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If you pull the wings off a boeing 747 what do you call it?

A: Why, a "crashing 747," ofcourse.

Q: Does mozzerella cheese support the "String Theory?"

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Q: Does mozzerella cheese support the "String Theory?"

Only when it is supported by a circular distribution apparatus with it's incumbent "meteoritic" facing.

Why does the face of a pepperoni pizza, look like (all strung out) meteor crators?

 

[S = k log w]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Only when it is supported by a circular distribution apparatus with it's incumbent "meteoritic" facing.

Why does the face of a pepperoni pizza, look like (all strung out) meteor crators?

Because of the collisions of the Chucky Cheese Particles (ccP)

Queton: Since "Queton" is a Brie cheese http://www.finefoodworld.co.uk/html/2002win.htm

shouldn't it be the Brie theory? [pro]

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by S = k log w
Queton: Since "Queton" is a Brie cheese http://www.finefoodworld.co.uk/html/2002win.htm
shouldn't it be the Brie theory? [pro] [/B]

A: Ah, but it's QUETION, not QUETON. Note the spelling. (Or mispelling). String cheese would be more appropriate.

Q: If Einstein stuck his finger in an electric socket, would it relax his hair?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by sandinmyears
Q: If Einstein stuck his finger in an electric socket, would it relax his hair?

Nope! straightened it right out and the give it a curvature of spacetime every time he turned his head. (a novel demonstration device he called it)

If you are using "Strung out Cheese Brie" theoretic's, shouldn't your questions eventually cause the arousal of gaseous eminations?

 

[Zeke]

i sUpporat publick Educashun haha just a joke

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Zeke
i sUpporat publick Educashun haha just a joke

Apparently...

 

[sandinmyears]

Originally posted by Zeke
i sUpporat publick Educashun haha just a joke

Actually, I used to be an elementary education teacher and at that time there was a trend to encourage the child to write the way that felt right to encourage him or her to be creative.


So let's see some creativity Zeke!

~Sandy

______________
BACK TO STUPID QUETIONS:

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons:If you are using "Strung out Cheese Brie" theoretic's, shouldn't your questions eventually cause the arousal of gaseous eminations?

 

[Zeke]

i saw it on a t-shirt and thought it was funny i go to public school and i do just fine

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons If you are using "Strung out Cheese Brie" theoretic's, shouldn't your questions eventually cause the arousal of gaseous eminations?

An insightful and quite correct supposition, clearly based on intuition honed by years of experience in the field of gastrointestinal/cheese interaction. However you will be rejected by the mainstream till you can provide equations. Work some up in your spare time and the Nobel pize will be forthcoming.This (cheese), and the subject of "meteoritic facings" naturally segues into lunar issues: if the moon were composed of cheese (notice I am not asserting it is, this is a hypothetical proposition only) how long could the cheese needs of humanity be met by the quantity of cheese represented by the moon?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by a chesse filled, ergo-eubulent, zoobyshoe
This (cheese), and the subject of "meteoritic facings" naturally segues into lunar issues: if the moon were composed of cheese (notice I am not asserting it is, this is a hypothetical proposition only) how long could the cheese needs of humanity be met by the quantity of cheese represented by the moon?

Humm, you obviously have read the proposal, now we are going to need to...well, forge!t you ever even though of this question, eh buddy, as the Bioys, "Rocky" and "Bustr" are not going to like it if the "Big Cheese" (ifin's you knows what's I means) gets wind of the fact that you have effectively proposed taking over The Bosses new, and latest, business venture...if I was youse buddy, I'd change my name...and leave town, something like that if you gets my drift...oh ya, the Bosse's figures indicate that given that the moon, as edible cheese, is ten percent of the Earths weight, the cheese should last at least until 2012.

WHat the heck is a "Bustr"?

 

[MSI]

it is a groub of letters making an unusable word like my ones

what is the @@@@ when it goes to the $$$$ and it get the ####, go up down?
now that is a stuped question

 

[sandinmyears]

Tsk Tsk. Not supposed to use 4-letter-words.