Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Today I was reading the poetry of W.B. Yeats and couldn't make any sense out of it, although it seemed full of pain and urgency. Do you have to be Irish or just intoxicated?

Irish, intoxicated, and in a fight! otherwise it just isn't there...or so I've heard..

While typing out a responce to "Who is your favorite poster" Mr. RP stated it was "This Guy" --> <--"yuG sihT" so, it is abundantly clear that his placing of the wording "This Guy", in reverse, was done simply to accommodate the "people inside the computer screen" (NOT to be confused with "The people at the other end of the computer screen") thusly "Begging the Quetion" of "Why", "Why oh-why-oh-why" is it that, not a sigle one of the rest of you ever bothers to think of the people inside the screen!, all of you type like this, forward pointing, and force the little beggars to read everything backwards! I! amongst all of you, stand alone, at being kind, and considerate, towards these little munchkinks, but all of you? HAH! Nothing! not a thing! not a shred of kindness! consideration! thought! not even a little modicum of niceness! not in a single one of you, why?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
"Begging the Quetion" of "Why", "Why oh-why-oh-why" is it that, not a sigle one of the rest of you ever bothers to think of the people inside the screen!, all of you type like this, forward pointing, and force the little beggars to read everything backwards! I! amongst all of you, stand alone, at being kind, and considerate, towards these little munchkinks, but all of you? HAH! Nothing! not a thing! not a shred of kindness! consideration! thought! not even a little modicum of niceness! not in a single one of you, why?

.detsixe sknikhcnum esoht wenk reven I tub yrros m'IIvan Seeking recently posted a link to an article which reported that a whale had spontaneously exploded in the streets of Taiwan. That being the case, why is it people deny the existence of spontaneous human combustion?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Ivan Seeking recently posted a link to an article which reported that a whale had spontaneously exploded in the streets of Taiwan. That being the case, why is it people deny the existence of spontaneous human combustion?

Cause, clearly, based upon the evidence, (you know the F-A-C-T-S) it's WHALES that do it, NOT people! Heck I even watched the video through Yahoo!

Why is it that poeple like Zoobyshoe, always dismissive, always doubting, never believing anything you tell them, 'Sarcaustic' to the n^th degree, never seem to know about the "little" people?

 

[selfAdjoint]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Cause, clearly, based upon the evidence, (you know the F-A-C-T-S) it's WHALES that do it, NOT people! Heck I even watched the video through Yahoo!

Why is it that poeple like Zoobyshoe, always dismissive, always doubting, never believing anything you tell them, 'Sarcaustic' to the n^th degree, never seem to know about the "little" people?

Because he's large-minded.

Why do the little people not recognize the divinity of Zooby?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by selfAdjoint
Why do the little people not recognize the divinity of Zooby?

Eh? I think someone just smoked him selfAjoint.Recently on a trip to the antartic aboard the steamer Whazzup I came down with a bad case of motion sickness, sometimes referred to under these circumstances as Mal de Mer and although I've been back for a while I can't seem to shake the symptoms: nausea, cookie tossing, mild headache. The doctors here at area 51 seem less interested in curing it that studying it. Anyone know any home remedies for land-extended sea sickness?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently on a trip to the antartic aboard the steamer Whazzup I came down with a bad case of motion sickness, sometimes referred to under these circumstances as Mal de Mer and although I've been back for a while I can't seem to shake the symptoms: nausea, cookie tossing, mild headache. The doctors here at area 51 seem less interested in curing it that studying it. Anyone know any home remedies for land-extended sea sickness?

Don't you just lov it when someone answers his own quetion...Eh? I think someone just (needs to have) smoked him selfAjoint.

So now that the issue of Zoobyshoe, and the 'little people', is finally publically raised, why-oh, why-oh, why-oh, why was it so easy to fool the 'zoobster, by telling him that they "recognized there writing only if it was sdrawkcab", (heck is that ever dumb) they spend their entire lives reading what we write, from the other side, it is supposed to look, to us, exactly as it is *here* (not like *ereh*) for them to see it, in what they see, as 'normal' why-oh, why-oh, why was it so easy to fool the 'zoob', (Le chat) was it really a collusion?? or just a conspiracy??

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So now that the issue of Zoobyshoe...
...was it really a collusion?? or just a conspiracy??

"Ungk...Can't we all just get along?"Recently on a voyage to the antarctic aboard the steamer Buoyant Betty, there was a passenger named Richard C. @4^^&%%. At least that's what we called him behind his back, since no one could figure out how to pronounce his last name despite having him tutor us in it several times. Some suspected a speach impediment but I doubted that since every other word I heard him say was perfectly clear. He was frequently seen to be eating celery stalks. He also smoked a pipe, which is more and more rare among the younger generations. I estimate his age to have been about nine years old. Once I found him reading a copy of The Elements and Essentials of Tone Production In Gourds and Other Vegetation Used as Musical Instruments among the Aboriginal Peoples of Eastern Vancouver Island, one of my favorite books on the subject. Did you notice anything else interesting about him?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently on a voyage to the antarctic aboard the steamer Buoyant Betty, there was a passenger named Richard C. @4^^&%%. At least that's what we called him behind his back, since no one could figure out how to pronounce his last name despite having him tutor us in it several times. Some suspected a speach impediment but I doubted that since every other word I heard him say was perfectly clear. He was frequently seen to be eating celery stalks. He also smoked a pipe, which is more and more rare among the younger generations. I estimate his age to have been about nine years old. Once I found him reading a copy of The Elements and Essentials of Tone Production In Gourds and Other Vegetation Used as Musical Instruments among the Aboriginal Peoples of Eastern Vancouver Island, one of my favorite books on the subject. Did you notice anything else interesting about him?

Well, I sort of thought that you having your finger up his nose, was just a little to personal, for me, but I wasn't going to say ANYthing, but you asked...

Is the last stage of the costruction of "Tickle Me Elmo"® really the builders giving him two test-tickles?

 

[jimmy p]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Is the last stage of the costruction of "Tickle Me Elmo"® really the builders giving him two test-tickles?

Well it used to be one builder holds him down and the other punched him in the gut, but the results were a little inconclusive to whether Elmo did the job at hand.


Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

How else would anyone know how to spell it...

If the people on the inside of the screen, live, in an electric vacuum of soundless space, what do they really think we are doing, when they look throught the little black dots they create, on the screen (to see out) and see our mouths "just'a flappin away"...HUH?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If the people on the inside of the screen, live, in an electric vacuum of soundless space, what do they really think we are doing, when they look throught the little black dots they create, on the screen (to see out) and see our mouths "just'a flappin away"...HUH?

It may be note to some (if you have a fishtank you can try this by holding an empty toilet paper roll perpendicular to the fish tank, so as to appear as a circular from fish perspective, and smooshing the roll so that the circle flattens and widens, flattens and widens, in succession...) that some animals have powerful negative instincts with regard to the flapping/smooshing movement of mouths, or objects resembling mouths... so i might suspect the little creatures should think that we (or rather you, Mr. Parsons, for I do not indeed have the habit of flapping my mouth in front of my screen), being larger and such, are a natural predator trying to make them our next meal. Then again it depends how fish-like those little creatures are, doesn't it.

What if you think there is something distinctly fishy going on in between the pixels of your screen, but you have such high resolution you are unable to hook into it, and unfortunately the resolution does not apply to the question in question?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
What if you think there is something distinctly fishy going on in between the pixels of your screen, but you have such high resolution you are unable to hook into it, and unfortunately the resolution does not apply to the question in question?

You resolve the resolution to resolving the resolution problem, by way of, a resolution that resoves your resolution problems, then, once resolved, you realize that you mouths "flappin" is really simply because you forgot to breath through you nose, so when the little people inside the screen see you, they really think that you are...!

When the maiden, became a maid, how was it done?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When the maiden, became a maid, how was it done?

By a complex transmutational process involving gynetic consideration of position, activity, and lace, all of which may require addition. Buckets may also be required for milkmaids. Large breasts are not required and Ajax is strictly verboten other than as a potential name of the household hound.

Once maid, how might the make-up be perfected, and how should the lone suffix, as a legitimate byproduct, be elim-en-ated?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by firefly
Once maid, how might the make-up be perfected, and how should the lone suffix, as a legitimate byproduct, be elim-en-ated?

Well the maiden must be alluring as to be able to entice away "The Lone Suffix", or we will just have to call in his sidekick, and 'oust' the two of them, to-get-her...

While scrubbing down my floors with Parsons Brand® Sparkling Spring Vodka how many ounces of Vodka are the recomended amounts to mix, with what volume of water, as to ensure the transferance of the "Sparkling" qualites to the floor?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While scrubbing down my floors with Parsons Brand® Sparkling Spring Vodka how many ounces of Vodka are the recomended amounts to mix, with what volume of water, as to ensure the transferance of the "Sparkling" qualites to the floor?

I have never used this product for that purpose myself, but if I recall correctly from my observations of the galley helper woman's method of accomplishing this, two shot glasses of that product taken straight, without water, were what was needed to cause her to remark how sparkling the floor now seemed.Once, when I was steaming toward the antarctic aboard the WWII salvage ship The Green Egg I was rummaging around in the bowels of the craft, where passengers weren't allowed, and found what seemed to be an authentic example of that most famous of all WWII graffiti:Kilroy Was Here neatly chalked into the hull wall. A quick dash to the ship's machine shop, where I procured an acetylene torch, and back, and I was hard at work cutting the slab of hull containing this priceless piece of history away to take home and sell on E-Bay, when it seemed like all the water south of Cape Horn suddenly had started to rush into the compartement through the gash I had cut. So I snuck the torch back into the machine shop and wrote an anonymous note to the watch commander which said "Someone seems to have splled something on B deck." And I retired to my cabin. What percentage of drivers don't know how to use a stick?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Once, when I was steaming toward the antarctic aboard the WWII salvage ship The Green Egg I was rummaging around in the bowels of the craft, where passengers weren't allowed, and found what seemed to be an authentic example of that most famous of all WWII graffiti:Kilroy Was Here neatly chalked into the hull wall. A quick dash to the ship's machine shop, where I procured an acetylene torch, and back, and I was hard at work cutting the slab of hull containing this priceless piece of history away to take home and sell on E-Bay, when it seemed like all the water south of Cape Horn suddenly had started to rush into the compartement through the gash I had cut. So I snuck the torch back into the machine shop and wrote an anonymous note to the watch commander which said "Someone seems to have splled something on B deck." And I retired to my cabin. What percentage of drivers don't know how to use a stick?

UOO. Undetermined Objective Observation.
Derivation as follows: The percentage sign requires the use of a stick. not knowing how precisely to dispose it's placement in the mathematically annotate response, one is left with the 'oo' component of this symbol. U is e-speak for 'you', because use of the first person again would require a stick-like placement, again, undeterminable in a general sense. Hence, UOO.

How do you play Snakes and Ladders while intoxifikated wuth a loft moor then toooooo shuts of thu Parsons Brand® Sparkling Spring Vodka win oll thu stiks in the laddress luck lyk snaiks, and vyse-versatile because u no this so u *hic* try to comp and sate with hic-terpretational aramaic maniperlation?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by a slightly drunk (or stoned?) flyfired
How do you play Snakes and Ladders while intoxifikated wuth a loft moor then toooooo shuts of thu Parsons Brand® Sparkling Spring Vodka win oll thu stiks in the laddress luck lyk snaiks, and vyse-versatile because u no this so u *hic* try to comp and sate with hic-terpretational aramaic maniperlation?

Wiel y'us us's them thar 'tingies tuz climbbbbbbbbbbbbss them thangies, Oooops, fallin, now oust, uhhhhhh??/, waht ? huh/ Uhmm, O kate, i mean Kay, uhmmm ida kno!

Last time I was out here, well, you know, don't you?


(Signed; "Blankfiller" putty in some'ones' hands)

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Last time I was out here, well, you know, don't you?

oooooh, I daresay I know naught... for I have never tried to imParsonate you.

(Signed; "Blankfiller" putty in some'ones' hands)

Why never, I should never draw upon a blank by way of adorning it with mine own signature in imitative style of another's.

You silly putty, you, I shall mold you into a nose cover for the winter! How, in respect of fashion and trend, and with due consideration of being at wit's end from the cold, how indeeeeed, must a Parsonalized silly putty nose cover be worn?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by a 'nauseated' firefly
You silly putty, you, I shall mold you into a nose cover for the winter! How, in respect of fashion and trend, and with due consideration of being at wit's end from the cold, how indeeeeed, must a Parsonalized silly putty nose cover be worn?

Well, right foot first, is the proper manner of beginning the insertion, of the person, into the Parsonalized® nosepiece thereafter followed by events that are crypticaly descriptive of several intense and exhilrating experiances only enjoyed by true wearers of the Parsonalized® nosepiece, and thereafter all wearers are clearly identifiable by the smile, that you cannot see, on their faces!

So now that we ALL know just how to dress in our proper nosepieces, what do we do with a druken sailor?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Well, right foot first, is the proper manner of beginning the insertion, of the person, into the Parsonalized® nosepiece thereafter followed by events that are crypticaly descriptive of several intense and exhilrating experiances only enjoyed by true wearers of the Parsonalized® nosepiece, and thereafter all wearers are clearly identifiable by the smile, that you cannot see, on their faces!

So now that we ALL know just how to dress in our proper nosepieces, what do we do with a druken sailor?

Sounds to me like a great match for the Ajax Lady... I'd bet they'd both enjoy sloshing around with some ƒlying zoobies

(recipe). And I'd bet a certain Polish Aviator (of Zoob's acquaintance) wouldn't mind making it ménage à trois.

{edited to correct cocktail name and adjust link to recipe}

Oh but what about a deParsonalized Mr. Robin, due to the undue overproduction of overly marketed and thus highly successful Parsonalized® nosepiece? Oh dear, no that wouldn't do at all! So what about a fired fly? I've heard fried flies be velly nice, velly velly nice... of couse flying leaves velly little... but we no' talk abou' flying leaves, nor flying fries. Anyway that is two quetions: now I make two in one and leave only one True Quetion:

What do you make of a depersonalized firefly, having fair little left but a tiny exoskeleton which flutters like a falling leaf?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by firefly What do you make of a depersonalized firefly, having fair little left but a tiny exoskeleton which flutters like a falling leaf?

Buy her a gift certificate for two months at Zooby's® Entomological Resort and Spa where the regiment of diet high in green, leafy flora, and ƒlying rehabilitation (lead by a Polish aviator of his acquaintaince) will soon have that critter able to defy the strongest wind and glow proudly enough to start rumors of UFO sightings for miles around.Edited to include the following stupid quetion: Whizm for molasses?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by an obviously telepathic, drunken, quizical and fun! zoobyshoe
Edited to include the following stupid quetion: Whizm for molasses?

edited to include an answer
Wasssup for 'mola'...followed by the keen observation that, the realities of the situation had precluded the possibility of ever having to resolve, the clearly, unresovable problem, that had been fixed last week, inasmuch as, the repair was effectively effected, by the effective team, of effective persons, effecting the repair that was unrepairable...to this day.

When editing your posting, drunk on a galloon of drink, should you actually change anything?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When editing your posting, drunk on a galloon of drink, should you actually change anything?

Well, I'm not familiar with the liquid measure of a galoon so I'm not qualified to anser in toto. One should, however, always change underwear when appropriate.Recently the following neologism came to me, as if from "The Other Side" in a mystical dream: splogomenial. What the heck did the spirits mean by that?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently the following neologism came to me, as if from "The Other Side" in a mystical dream: splogomenial. What the heck did the spirits mean by that?

WOW deepest and most heartlessly felt sorrows towards you Zoob, that expression, by the spirits, is self descriptive, so' you got to figure it out, as it applies only to uz!

Since the Zoobster is now held, in situ, by his new found Neologism, what chronologism now applies?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Since the Zoobster is now held, in situ, by his new found Neologism, what chronologism now applies?

10 metric hours to the day, 100 metric minutes to the hour, 100 metric seconds to the minute. All sundials must be tweaked accordingly.Did the hourglasses stop the day the Earth stood still?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Did the hourglasses stop the day the Earth stood still?

No, dear. Quite the converse: the day during which the Earth hung immobile (i.e. "at rest," but relative to what I cannot say, nor if one or the other theory of relativity would be relevant, being quite ignorant as to the distinction of each, and yet more oblivious as to how looping quanta provides for their integration... but I digress) ... as i was saying, it was in fact this day, or I should say fraction of anomalous "time" (digression omitted) which itself directly caused of the stopping of the glasses of the hours, which in turn stopped the planet. However simply playing the Dance of the Hours was found to tweak these instruments accordingly, and restore the Earth's regular orbital motion. For those who did not have a copy of the music someplace, there was a 24/7 800 number you could dial, provided by Sun Microsystems, which would tweak your glasses accordingly.

Do visions of sugarplums... and sugarbabies... and Zabagabees ...dance in your glasses when you listen to the NutCracker Suite and the Dance of the Hours simultaneously, "looping" each with repeat play?

 

[Spherical_chicken]

Originally posted by firefly
No, dear. Quite the converse: the day during which the Earth hung immobile (i.e. "at rest," but relative to what I cannot say, nor if one or the other theory of relativity would be relevant, being quite ignorant as to the distinction of each, and yet more oblivious as to how looping quanta provides for their integration... but I digress) ... as i was saying, it was in fact this day, or I should say fraction of anomalous "time" (digression omitted) which itself directly caused of the stopping of the glasses of the hours, which in turn stopped the planet. However simply playing the Dance of the Hours was found to tweak these instruments accordingly, and restore the Earth's regular orbital motion. For those who did not have a copy of the music someplace, there was a 24/7 800 number you could dial, provided by Sun Microsystems, which would tweak your glasses accordingly.

Do visions of sugarplums... and sugarbabies... and Zabagabees ...dance in your glasses when you listen to the NutCracker Suite and the Dance of the Hours simultaneously, "looping" each with repeat play?

Depends on if you are wearing your "Rose-colored Mirror Shades"
But if I had time to read all of these posts, in full, for fun. Does that mean that the only way to turn "Up" into "Down" is to stand on your head?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by Spherical_chicken
(SNIP) Does that mean that the only way to turn "Up" into "Down" is to stand on your head? (SNoP)

No! other methods are; Huxtapositioning, juxtapositioning, inversion, inverting, reversing, overturning, end tossing, and several 'other' various and sundry manners of typiconographical representations of "head" tossing...

When wanting something, why do you not want the other thing?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When wanting something, why do you not want the other thing?

Because that would imply I would want a-not-her-thing, and more notably, a not so-me-thing.

Are all knotty things naughty, implicit or not in the motion and mooring of any nautical vessel?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by an N'ought firefly/ing
Are all knotty things naughty, implicit or not in the motion and mooring of any nautical vessel?

Well yes they are and no they are "Not", but "Knot" yes they are, but "naught" well it is in the eyes of the beholder (if you knows whatch's holding onta wink-wink/nudge) inasmunch as, it is a terribly 'knotty' issue, to un'knot' the 'naughtyness' from the 'non'-'naughtyness' of motions (resembling oceans, hither, fro and too) followed by the insinuations of maniacal assertions of naughtynesses knotted to the Not issued issue, so it is plain, and clear, now!

While strolling in the park, one day, in the very merry month of May, I came by my surprise, upon a feast with mine own two eyes...what the heck was it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by firefly
Are all knotty things naughty, implicit or not in the motion and mooring of any nautical vessel?

The marine vessel implies the female "particulars", yes, all ships are she; all nautical knots are naughty, other knots: not.Did Dylan Thomas describe the "deed" during:"I want to ship wreck between your thighs!" ?

 

[Mr. Robin Parsons]

Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Did Dylan Thomas describe the "deed" during:"I want to ship wreck between your thighs!" ?

Actually no he foundered, then she foundered, then the entire cast and crew foundered, then the entire audience, participants, associates, affiliates, and other attachments, also foundered, so he was describing a deed all right, just not the naught little one in your dirty little mind...

When singing, should you use your voice?

 

[firefly]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
When singing, should you use your voice?

It might be useful yes, insofar as being heard, but to produce quality output it would be a fairly gross way to go about it... might i suggestion you inflect the voice instead.

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While strolling in the park, one day, in the very merry month of May, I came by my surprise, upon a feast with mine own two eyes...what the heck was it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
While strolling in the park, one day, in the very merry month of May, I came by my surprise, upon a feast with mine own two eyes...what the heck was it?

You know, it's funny you should ask that quetion because once, when I was recovering from Fish Jelly poisoning, it ocured to me that the fish they made the jelly from might have been stung by a jelly fish, which wouldn't have been the fish's fault. So, why don't jelly fish sting themselves? The reason is they don't care to. They sting other fish. It's a fish sting fish ocean.

Allow me to interpolate one of the most famous stupid quetions in film history: Walter Brennan from To Have And Have Not:

Originally asked by Eddie "The Rummy""Say, was you ever bit by a dead bee?"

 

[firefly]

Originally interpolated by zoobyshoe as one of the most famous stupid quetions in film history: Walter Brennan from To Have And Have Not:
Originally asked by Eddie "The Rummy""Say, was you ever bit by a dead bee?"

Very close, yes very close, I have in fact been stung by a soon-to-be-dead bee... I have also bitten a beetroot, been hit on by a deadbeat, and take my coffee with milk and sugar. raw cane, if available.

Which are better, string beans or things that have been but have not been strung?