Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

...which makes me wonder : can thoughts die ?

I believe that's a jellysophical quetion which no one here is qualified to tackle. You want to post that in the jellisophy (accent on second syllable) forum.

People who are feeling jellysophical may be on the verge of religious conversion. Check out this site and see if it moves you:
Our Blasted Lady of the Jellyfish
Address:http://www.cyberpsychos.netonecom.net/cnidaria/




Since purple energy makes up 17.4% of dark energy, what percentage of jelly energy have they determined to be made up of weird energy?

FYI: Striped Weird Purple Jellyfish Purple_jellyfish.jpg
Address:http://www.montereyexpress.com/images/Gallery/MikeMillet/Purple_jellyfish.jpg

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Since purple energy makes up 17.4% of dark energy, what percentage of jelly energy have they determined to be made up of weird energy?

Known euphemistically as "Weird" energy, Dark-Purple Energy DPE is the essence of not-mass and is believed to comprise not-1 or not-2% of all dark energy [ie not-light energy]. When you have some not-mass, if you add some you have less. Now I always get confused here, if more not is not more, then is less not more not?

 

[zoobyshoe]

When you have some not-mass, if you add some you have less. Now I always get confused here, if more not is not more, then is less not more not?

A knotty quetion. But not a naughty one. Less not is not more not. In other words, more not is less more: more naught. Which I still insist is not naughty. Unless you forgot a comma somewhere. I could go on, but sometimes more is less.


Native Americans taught the early settlers that burying a weird, purple jellyfish with each corn seed planted would provide the seed with a water supply that would see it through any dry spells. Likewise they taught that a weird, purple jellyfish worn as a sock inside the mocasin would prevent blisters on long hikes.

Can you think of any other weird, purple jellyfish survival tips we learned from the Native Americans?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

We have the purplejellypositories for those rough nights after a long ride on the Pinto.

Purplejellybellies make a great emergency snack food on long hunts.

Does anyone know the PJF-Cowboy connection?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Does anyone know the PJF-Cowboy connection?

There's not much to tell, really. Buffalo Bill Cody tried to round up a herd of nocturnally roving weird, purple jellyfish which he planned to train to perform in an act in his Wild West Show, but the wranglers he sent out failed to find a technique for turning the herd, and ended up just squashing a bunch of them when their horses slipped on the squishy critters and fell over. Alot of cowboys got stung that outing.


That reminds me of a strange incident. Once, when I was sitting at an outdoor cafe in Taos, New Mexico, USA, a family approached me timidly, and asked if I would take a picture of them standing in front of the café. It was not a famous café, nor was it particularly intersting. I couldn't understand why they wanted to be photographed in front of it. When I asked, they laughed and said, it wasn't that they wanted to be photographed in front of the café, it was that they wanted to be photographed by me.

When I asked why, they laughed and said, it wasn't that they really wanted to be photographed by me, it was that they wanted me to get off the chair I was sitting on. When I asked why, they laughed and said, it wasn't that they really wanted me to get off the chair, it was that they wanted to see if I had any lint sticking to the back of my shirt.

Why is it a guy can never find a water canon when he needs one?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Zooby, this all goes back to your insults made to the citizens of Taos. When I linked to some discussion of the Taos Hum, you chose to make light of things by referencing a hypothetical Beach Boys song called the Kokomo Hum. To those of us in the know, your experience in Taos was all about payback; they were giving you what's known as a Taos hummer.

What was the final result of a Zooby getting a Taos hummer?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Net result was a limerick.

The hummer that Zoob got in Taos,
Turned his whole world quite into chaos,
This is worse, he did complain,
than the hummer I got in Spain,
Worse still than the one I got in Laos.

There's no particular tune for this rhyme. If I hum a few bars, can you fake it?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Then poor Zooby got fleas
“Would you pick these off of me please?
I’m itching and scratching
Those darned eggs are hatching
And flea powder is making me sneeze!"

Next verse?

 

[Math Is Hard]

That Zooby got rid of his fleas, sir,
With a magnifying glass and some tweezers.
Like a Saint from the Bible,
He tolerates this libel,
You know he's quite an agreeable geezer.



Do you think insecure, small-footed Sasquatches fall for SPAM emails that offer to "Improve Your Shoe Size Overnight!" ?

 

[BoulderHead]

Do you think insecure, small-footed Sasquatches fall for SPAM emails that offer to "Improve Your Shoe Size Overnight!" ?

Yes, they have been fleeced so thoroughly as to become indistinguishable from all other computer users.


What is the principal difference between a Gnome and a Hobbit ?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Gnome • noun: a legendary creature resembling a tiny old man; lives in the depths of the Earth and guards buried treasure

Hobbit: • noun: an imaginary being similar to a person but smaller and with hairy feet; invented by J.R.R. Tolkien

Gnomes have buried treasure and hobbits have hairy feet.
Also, Leonard Nimoy never sang a song about Gnomes.

Why do those disgusting gnomes have so many dirty hobbits?

 

[Tom McCurdy]

Because the hairy feet protect their treasure.

Why do people like moving gifs so much?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why do people like moving gifs so much?

I'm not sure your premise is correct. Most people I know do not like moving anything. I have never enjoyed moving anything, really. Sometimes I have to move brush around here, at the zoobie brush shelter, but I don't particularly enjoy having to do it.


I am visited by critters, sometimes, here at the zoobie brush shelter. Racoons, skunks, possums, lizards, stray kitties. Loose dogs skulk by, sometimes. Once a stray republican skulked by.

What interesting wildlife pops up in your back yard?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Heck, wildlife? We call that dinner! Stay away from wild Republicans though - too stringy.

Which brings to mind a point of taste for an upcoming dinner party: Which goes better with skunk; red wine or white?

 

[selfAdjoint]

Heck, wildlife? We call that dinner! Stay away from wild Republicans though - too stringy.

Which brings to mind a point of taste for an upcoming dinner party: Which goes better with skunk; red wine or white?

Nehi.

How do you filet a skunk?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How do you filet a skunk?

However you do it, don't neglect to notice the recipe mentions the terms "out of doors" and "HAZMAT suit".


That reminds me of a strange story. Once, when I was sitting at an outdoor café in the city of San Francisco, Ca. USA, an aurally impaired person approached me, and handed me a small card on which was printed the alphabet with each letter's sign language equivalent next to it, and on the reverse side of the card it said:

"I am not deaf. This is a stickup. Give me all the money in your wallet or I will begin to grunt and cry very loudly and point at you. This is a crowded public area. Do yourself a favor, and avoid embarrassment."

Whereupon, I looked up at the man in astonishment, studying his face. "Shooby?" I said. His jaw dropped. "Zooby?" he querried.

It was my old friend, Shooby Zoo, former partner in crime. We had pulled this same stunt a million times together back in the day.

What is the best way for old friends to celebrate such a surprise reunion?


edit: The spoonerism "Shooby Zoo"© is the creation of PF Member and weird, purple jellyfish, Math Is Hard.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

First I would expect a lot of chest beating and hooting. Then, go out for a few bananas at the swingers bars. Next, harass the stupid apes at the zoo. Finally, hang out at the museum of natural history and pose as a stuffed zooby and a stuffed shooby and scare the heck out of the visitors. End the day by picking up some Zooby babes.

What exactly makes a female Zooby a babe?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What exactly makes a female Zooby a babe?

If a zoobie looks at her and goes "YOWIE!", she's a babe.


Hey, it just occurred to me that if Ivan ever found anything he'd have to change his name. What do you suppose he'd change it to?

 

[Tsu]

Ivan FinallyFoundIt! :surprise:

What did Ivan find?

 

[wasteofo2]

Ivan FinallyFoundIt! :surprise:

What did Ivan find?

The key to intelectual fattening of the pancreatic knowledge of course.

How did Robert Johnson really die?

 

[jimmy p]

How did Robert Johnson really die?

He insulted a Zooby's girlfriend and the rest is history... just like him..


What would Ivan change his name to if he had Zooby fleas on him after he had petted a Zooby and a Shooby at the natural history museum?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Ivan Scratching.

Why is it that peppermint tastes good mixed with chocolate and chocolate tastes good mixed with peanut butter - but peppermint doesn't taste good mixed with peanut butter?

 

[Gokul43201]

For the same reason that I can happily walk barefoot over a giant, robotic platform made of tungsten, and the giant , robotic platform can happily walk barefoot over a bed of hot coals, but ... you know !

"tastes good with" and "walk barefoot over" can be treated as mathematical structures known as relations. In particular, "tastes good with" is called a symmetric relation since ' ice-cream tastes good with chicken curry' (what ? you should try it...) implies that 'chicken curry tastes good with ice-cream'. However, it is not a transitive relation, causing the choco-peanut-mint logic to fail.

Do you think Hindu Yogis are mathematical wizards since they can force the "walk barefoot over" relation to be transitive ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Do you think Hindu Yogis are mathematical wizards since they can force the "walk barefoot over" relation to be transitive ?

No, because they can't: the peculiar truth is, they become disoriented and fearful when faced with the challenge of transversing tungsten robot platforms.


Recently I encountered a gentlman who asked if I would save all the hair that collected in my hairbrush for him. When I asked why, he replied that he planned to build a boat out of old hairbrush hair. When I asked why, he responded that he wanted to prove that, with enough ingenuity, you could build a boat out of anything. He said he had already built practical boats from old v-belts, pencil shavings, audio speakers, old camera lenses, and chicken feet. So I said that I thought once he had succeeded with the chicken feet he must have proved his point beyond any doubt, and ought probably to move on to he next project. He considered that, and said he thought I was probably right. He asked me to save the hair anyway, since he was also thinking about opening a Starbucks.

Anyone have a clue what that meant?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Washable coffee filters.

There is another possiblity. I have noticed that if you grind up your hair in the coffee grinder it looks a lot like coffee. It looked so much like coffee that I tried making some coffee with it. I had to use a little extra sugar but otherwise it was quite tasty. Then I tried adding some hair conditioner, just for kicks. Boy, Tsu thought that was really funny.

Has anyone else tried this?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Has anyone else tried this?

No. I think you stand alone in that particular school of creativity.


In a book I have entitled Inexplicably Mysterious Enigmas of the Unknown a report from 1930 tells of a sighting of two large dark clouds near lake Loch Lochy in Scotland. The report ends there. I reread it several times failing to see the point.

Seeking expert advice, I called Art Bell, who snapped at me "Maybe we're all living in a post-nuclear burned out world, and everything you think you see is an hallucination!"I apologized for interrupting his drinking binge, and hung up.
Baffled, I thought I'd get my mind off it. I pulled the kitchen garbage bag out of its container and proceeded out to the dumpster. Suddenly, there in the sky, I noticed two dark clouds.

Comments? Explanations? Donations?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Comments? Explanations? Donations?

In a thread entitled Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer a post from Zoobyshoe tells of a sighting of two large dark clouds near lake Loch Lochy in Scotland. The report ends there. I reread it several times failing to see the point. Suddenly, there in the sky, I noticed two dark clouds.

Oh my god! Don' t read this! Don't look up! What...

 

[zoobyshoe]

In a thread entitled Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer a post from Zoobyshoe tells of a sighting of two large dark clouds near lake Loch Lochy in Scotland. The report ends there. I reread it several times failing to see the point. Suddenly, there in the sky, I noticed two dark clouds.

Oh my god! Don' t read this! Don't look up! What...

Perhaps the most incoherent post since the Mr. Robin Parsons/Firefly war of incoherence.


In a book I have entitled Unexplainable and Enigmatic Tales of the Unknown and Mysterious there is a report from 1930 concerning twin brothers separated at the age of 40 who were miraculously reunited by sheer coincidence at age 41 only to discover that they had no interests whatever in common anymore.

In a similar story from 1988, identical twin sisters were separated by circumstances beyond their control at age 37 and spent the rest of their lives in the vain hope that one day they might completely forget about the existence of the other.

A third tale tells of twin chickens, Martha and Mary McClucky, born from a double yolked egg, who were separated at age one year and six months and formed the main dish of two separate, tasty meals.

What is it about twins and coincidences?

 

[Tsu]

Well, I had a set of fraternal twins for friends when I was a kid and before they moved to my town, they lived in SAUDI! :surprise:

How't THAT for a coincidence?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Well, I had a set of fraternal twins for friends when I was a kid and before they moved to my town, they lived in SAUDI! :surprise:

How't THAT for a coincidence?

A real show stopper.



In a book I have, entitled Unknown Mysterious Weirdly Enigmatic Non-Explainable Tales of the Strange there is a report from 1954 concerning a man who ingested a special mixture of Island herbs and fish glands and proceeded to systematically hynotize himself to obey his every order. This story, you may know, was the basis for the 1965 hit film I Am My Own Zombie directed by Roger Corman, and staring Jack Nicholson, in one of his early roles, miscast as the miscast Shakespearian actor, Rupert C. Ptolomy, who was cast as Hamlet when he should have been playing Polonius. Since Nicholson would be unsuitable for both Hamlet and Polonius, he was miscast as the miscast actor, and the viewing audience never feels much sympathy when the auto-zombie stalks him. Regardless, Corman, due to budget restraints, was forced to ignore some of the most fascinating aspects of the historical truth from which he borrowed his plot. Name and describe at least one incident he was unable to include in his film.

 

[Gokul43201]

He found it hard to show - in the film - that a self hypnotized being is neither awake nor asleep, but in a superposition of these 2 states. Eventually, an external perturbation, such as a falling bucket of water or a falling bucket of bricks causes the being to collapse into one of the states.

How is a zombie-state different from an Eigenstate ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How is a zombie-state different from an Eigenstate ?

Eigenstates are discrete. In a zombie-state, however, a person might shoot their mouth off at the drop of a hat without thinking about it.


I a book I have, entitled Uncanny Tales of the Unconventional, Remarkable, and Peculiar, there is a report from 1887 in which it is told that a crowd of people waiting for a train in Hogsbutt, Arkansas, USA all witnessed one of their number begin to dance around the train platform in an unconventional, remarkable, and peculiar manner, for no apparent reason and with no music being heard in the vicinity. The gentleman was, at first, suspected of being intoxicated or insane, but after about 5 minutes of this behaviour he was heard to utter: "I'm Johnycake Johny! That's What I am! I'm Johnycake Johny!", whereupon he leaped up into the air, and kept going until he was no longer visible.

Later in the book, in another chapter, the story is told of a man sitting at a table outside a Café in 1972, in the city of Paris, France, who, about to take a sip of his expresso, was started out of his wits by the sight of a man descending from the sky without the benefit of vehicle or parachutte, dressed in 1880's clothing, and who, upon reaching the street, turned and walked calmly away, betraying no hint he was aware that he'd just accomplished anything special.

I was bothered by the fact the editors of the book had not noticed the obvious connection between the two tales, and had placed them in separate categories of unconventional, remarkable, peculiarity. Why aren't these people paying attention?

 

[Gokul43201]

Obvious connection ? What obvious connection ? Clearly this is just a zooby trick - playing with our heads.

Am I the only one, or does everone else see some "obvious" connection between the tales ?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Obvious connection ? What obvious connection ? Clearly this is just a zooby trick - playing with our heads.

Am I the only one, or does everone else see some "obvious" connection between the tales ?

The connection is obvious: This is a case of a rogue, not-mass tenticlet of a weird purple jellyfish - a R,NMTOAWPJ.

Euphemistically known as R,NMTOAWPJ.1, ,oh my, but don't get me going...anyway...it is thought to be comprised of goo-ons and to complete the model for the newly discovered "weird" quark, as well as its counterpart the "psychotic" quark.

The model predicts that whenever not-mass encounters mass, such as with our friend from 1887 and what clearly was a R,NMTOAWPJ, a goo-hole is formed which connects 1887 to 1972. Why these two years are involved nobody knows but they always are. So, I think we can be certain that this was a case of spacetime sliming caused by a goo-hole.

What I don’t understand is the 1887 / 1972 connection. Why do goo-holes only have pustules [nodes] at these two points in slimetime?

 

[zoobyshoe]

What I don’t understand is the 1887 / 1972 connection. Why do goo-holes only have pustules [nodes] at these two points in slimetime?

Behind closed doors, and under guard, there is a team of physicists, engineers, slime/time theorists, and bakers at work trying to fathom this very quetion. The answer is tentativly believed to be mysteriously encoded somewhere in the recipe for johnycake.


In a book I have, entitled Experimental Time/Slime Demonstrations Of Chaotic Laboratory Setups For The Simian, Marsupial, and Homo Sapien Home Testing Of Goo-Hole Nodes there is described a simple, easy means for determining the johnycake constant j of any chaotic system using some common vinegar, baking soda, the kitchen stove, a straw, and a refrigerator magnet. However, it warns the stove should only be used with parental permission and supervision.

This raises the quetion: how many jellyphysics discoveries do you suppose have been lost to posterity because of physicists parents refusing them permission to use the kitchen stove?