Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[zoobyshoe]

Why Would ANYONE (FBI-CIA-NSA-MI5-Pentagon-CSIS) care if we Posted Stupid stenganographic Quetions in these Forums?

Envy. They're not allowed to engage in stenganography.

Con you describe the stenganosaurus?

 

[hypatia]

Its blue, with many arms. Which of course perfer to remain hidden under its trench coat.

sniff "sniffs"..something here smells bad, what could it be?

 

[zoobyshoe]

sniff "sniffs"..something here smells bad, what could it be?

It could be so, so many things. Maybe a dead wild fried egg from a post 30 pages back. There's a sperm whale carcass in this thread somewhere, too, I think.

If a telephone rings in the woods but there's no one there to hear it, but say if a squirrel opens it up and starts chattering into it, will the caller still be billed for the call?

 

[Math Is Hard]

If a telephone rings in the woods but there's no one there to hear it, but say if a squirrel opens it up and starts chattering into it, will the caller still be billed for the call?

Squirrels never open telephones. But they do open nuts. Walnuts, chestnuts, acorns, pistacios, hazelnuts. No nut is a bad nut where squirrels are concerned. I just made a peanut butter sandwich for my little squirrel friend downstairs. He took it and didn't say thank you. He began nibbling it at it ravenously and did not even offer me a bite. Where are his manners?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Where are his manners?

Like many squirrels do, he donated them to the Save The Zoobies foundation. Now we zoobies are awash in squirrel manners.


May I offer you a nut?

 

[Townsend]

Like many squirrels do, he donated them to the Save The Zoobies foundation. Now we zoobies are awash in squirrel manners.


May I offer you a nut?

Since Zoobyshoe is a common name among male risqu'e film actors I do say you may not offer me a nut.

Where do bad folks go when they die?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Where do bad folks go when they die?

They're all over at your place. Haven't you noticed?

What does "risqu'e" mean?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

What does "risqu'e" mean?

It's French for "What Rice"

Speaking of Active Volcanos, why is it that when I typed into gooooooogles search engine "Top secret-Eyes only-super Military-Known to No One-Unfindable Spy agencies" it gave me the results of "FBI-CIA-NSA-MI5-Pentagon-CSIS" ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Speaking of Active Volcanos, why is it that when I typed into gooooooogles search engine "Top secret-Eyes only-super Military-Known to No One-Unfindable Spy agencies" it gave me the results of "FBI-CIA-NSA-MI5-Pentagon-CSIS" ?

I can't pretend to understand the byzantine inner workings of Google, but we here at area 51 are frequently at work collecting data on volcanos in the belief that one of them somewhere must be the occult lair of a Dr. Evil style super villain. The particular mountains currently under suspicion can't be revealed here. Those familiar with The Kirkland Code however, will find that information secreted within the instruction manual of the 51-L470 series scientific calculator, and be able to decode it. I wouldn't bother, though, since I found the results to be exceptionally boring.

Speaking of code, I recently found myself in an elevator with two men dressed in trench coats, wearing fedoras, who made inexplicable squirrel chatter noises at each other during the ascent to the 34th floor where one of them disembarked.

Does this mean secret elements within the government have deciphered squirrel language?

 

[hypatia]

churttttt, chqueeeeet `ci,`ci.

Now do we half to wonder what secrets squirrls keep?

 

[matthyaouw]

It depends to what lengths you want to go to for a modest stash of buried chestnuts.

Speaking of squirrels- What is it about the squirrel that makes people go "aww, how cute", where as the similar mammal, the rat, gets nothing but bad press.

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Speaking of squirrels- What is it about the squirrel that makes people go "aww, how cute", where as the similar mammal, the rat, gets nothing but bad press.

It's that fur coat they have on, that and the way they can appear "Cheeky" as that seems to make people laugh, inside.

Isn't a Squirrel really just a midget Fox?

 

[matthyaouw]

It's that fur coat they have on, that and the way they can appear "Cheeky" as that seems to make people laugh, inside.

Isn't a Squirrel really just a midget Fox?

No. Foxes can't climb so well, and squirrels are harder to hunt with hounds. Quite a resemblence though.

Now that hunting foxes with hounds is illegal in the UK, what animals could the hunters use as a legal alternative (as hunters, not prey)?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Table turned

Now that hunting foxes with hounds is illegal in the UK, what animals could the hunters use as a legal alternative (as hunters, not prey)?

Chickens! as they are real Fast, can take short hops of flight, to look around, would certainly want revenge on all of those foxes for all of those years of harrassment, and they make a Nice Snack should you not be able to catch the fox.



If a Squirrel runs up a Nut tree, there finding zooby snacks galore, only to find that the zooby snacks did not grow in that tree, but came from a land far far away, such that to eat the snack the squirrel would need to travel back in time, to the point where it all began, and begin, again, at the beginning, does that mean that the squirrel hasn't any more money in the bank because the midget foxette ran off with the account management booklets reciept slips?

 

[hypatia]

The midget foxette only borrowed the money. She bought into the Ipod craze and made the squirrl tons of loot The only money she spent on herself was to buy a fancy costum for the ball.

Will the squirrl be back in time for it?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Will the squirrl be back in time for it?

Seems that he is near, but from what I can see, he, and that group of friends of his, are all dancing around, with these funny looking "little black boxes" attached to their belts, wires from that going into their ears, so I think that they are all being electrifried.

Seems there was this squirrel, residing in His Hole in the tree, licking His Nuts, as to clean them, But, un-known to that squirrel the yellowishly-orangey substance that was coating the outside of his Nuts, was Ergot, SUDDENLY struck into a hallucinogenic Dream, he found himself as a Warrior, in Mesopotamia with King Rahrahmanamwannamanaman* (in English "King Rahrahmanamwannamanaman") telling him that he Needed to "Eat the Squirrel" in front of him, as to pass the test of Warriorship, or else, all of the Other Warriors, present, where going to EAT His Liver with a side-dish of Heart, and a Nice jug of Gwava Juice, so, realizing that he needed to act fast, he looked down at the tiny squirrel sitting prone in the cage and heard that squirrel say, "I am your Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grand-dad, eat me and YOU WILL DIE" thereby asking the most Vital of questions, Does Scotch really go well on Vanila Ice cream?


* For proper pronunciation simply copy-paste the name into your "reply to thread" form, use the PF spellchecker and listen to the Audio feed, on you iPod!

 

[Math Is Hard]

"I am your Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grand-dad, eat me and YOU WILL DIE" thereby asking the most Vital of questions, Does Scotch really go well on Vanila Ice cream?

I wouldn't eat it on a dare, you wacky hare.

Now, speaking of unusual things to eat.. the other day I ran completely out of jam, so I ended up fixing myself a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich. Have you ever had that dissapointed feeling when you ate something purple and it didn't taste grape like you were expecting it to?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Have you ever had that dissapointed feeling when you ate something purple and it didn't taste grape like you were expecting it to?

Yes, that happened to me the other day when I ate a purple cigarette lighter.


This Fall weather has made me very sluggish and sleepy. I'm too tired to post a quetion. Would you do it for me?

 

[hypatia]

yes, I will

Its been over 80 here for weeks still, why are you having fall weather?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Its been over 80 here for weeks still, why are you having fall weather?

It's always on sale this time of year.

Recently when I went to empty out my pencil sharpener, I found that there were only a few stupid, little shavings in it. What's a guy got to do to get a snack around here?

 

[hypatia]

Quit trying to sharpen your pens! I find #2 pencels{all except Hello Kitty ones} work the best. I dunno, maybe its just the tanginess of the yellow paint I prefer.
I decided to buy some "Fall", when should I expect it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I decided to buy some "Fall", when should I expect it?

This will depend on how well you "Erin Brokoviched" the delivery guy: was your blouse unbuttoned enough? Each button more should push delivery forward at least two weeks.

Recently, in the dead of night, a squat red hatchback pulled into the large empty parking lot of a mall and parked in the middle. 15 minutes passed. Then a newer SUV pulled in, and parked right next to the hatchback. The driver of the SUV, a hispanic male about 5'10" with a shaved head, went to the front of his vehicle, bent down, and seemed to be retrieving something from beneath the front bumper. Then he went to the drivers side window of the red hatchback. A five minute conversation took place, and they both drove away.

"What," wondered a donut munching zoobie watching from the 24 hour donut shop at the edge of the mall, "was that all about?"

 

[Math Is Hard]

"What," wondered a donut munching zoobie watching from the 24 hour donut shop at the edge of the mall, "was that all about?"

Sounds like possum smuggling. If you had gotten a better look in the SUV you would have seen a cat with a solid gold front tooth, I bet, I bet. We should ask Evo if Foofer's been missing again.

Why do donut shops need to stay open 24 hours? Are there many 4 AM donut emergencies?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Why do donut shops need to stay open 24 hours? Are there many 4 AM donut emergencies?

Most of the emergencies occur between the Hours of 3 A.M. and 5.30 A.M. as that is the time when the Squirrels come out to Gonuts.. .. ..Seems that they still can't read.

Why is it that after having $pent all of that Tax Payer$ money on $chooling, $quirrels $till can't read?

 

[hypatia]

Oh they can read, they just don't like to. But one snuck into the library once, they found it in the non-fiction, which startled me, I would of guessed them more of a fiction reader.

hmm donuts, why is there no home doughnut delivery service?..

right now I want one, but I'm waiting for fall to arrive.

 

[zoobyshoe]

hmm donuts, why is there no home doughnut delivery service?..

There is, but they do not deliver to any area where a shipment of Fall is expected. This is for safety reasons. Once a Fall delivery truck collided with a donut delivery truck and the result was that red, orange, and yellow donuts began drifting down from deciduous trees in the slightest breeze.

Although there are 24 hour donut shops, we do not find it necessary to have 24 hour zucchini shops. This, Sociology teaches us, is because the average zucchini fiend is an ennervatd person who will suffer through their nocturnal cravings in a state of quiet desparation, rather than risk revealing their problem to friends and family. Some of them will crawl out of bed and batter and deep fry any vegetable on hand: tomatos, cabbage, carrots, bell peppers, whatever, to stave off their hunger for fried zucchini, rather than go on a pre-dawn looting spree.

That's nice of those zucchini fiends, ennit?

 

[hypatia]

yes, its very nice of them! Zucchini friends are some of the best friends you can have. Ever notice how willing they are to share there zucchini with you? Yet still respect you, when you grow only yellow squash.

I've been having weird dreams, is it something I am eating that causes them?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I've been having weird dreams, is it something I am eating that causes them?

Prolly not. In 2003, the primary cause of weird dreams was determined to be the presence of talking electronic Halloween displays stored in garages and sheds.


Recently, in the course of a weird dream, the meaning of green LED's was revealed to me by sign language being performed by a 4 armed ascendent master once removed of the Free Church For The Advancement Of Advanced Free Churches. He said, among other things, that green LED's are meaningful, in the sense of having signifigance and signification, as well as denotation. Suspecting, though, he was just aimlessly improvising out of a thesaurus, I tied two of his hands behind his back and challenged him to explain it all with the two remaining hands. As I suspected, he needed all four hands to be quicker than my eye, and his explanation turned out to be a recipe for green eggs and ham. He knew nothing about green LED's.

Was he really some kind of large insect?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

Was he really some kind of large insect?

DAD! you met my DAD! fantabulous! but please, if you eat him, you must do that you know what thing with him, first, then eat his head, first immediately thereafter otherwise he instantaneouly morphs into sixty-seven times his present size, and He will eat you.

Why is it that my Dad, the Pa-Pa of Lapin Dormant, is a BUG?

 

[hypatia]

He was part of the firefly/rabbit gene mix, are you a green glowing bunny?

 

[Lapin Dormant]

He was part of the firefly/rabbit gene mix, are you a green glowing bunny?

Nah just the run of the mill Preening Growing Rabbit.

How far can a Rabbit grow if they aren't fed the right diet of?


LD
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..←{Know what those are?}

 

[zoobyshoe]

How far can a Rabbit grow if they aren't fed the right diet of?

Rabbits mostly seem to desire green, leafy vegetation. You trouble is you don't eat it, you smoke it.


One Halloween when I was crawling on all fours toward the mother of all hangovers, I had this misfortune of encountering Bobbit, The Shark Footed Ghoul, a kind of Halloween monster who created himself out of parts of Grimm's Fairy Tales, and some random passeges from the Bible. Bobbit hobbled along on two feet shaped like sharks, and used to hang out at the perifery of cemetaries waiting for a chance to dig up a corpse to take home and be his best pal. He was planning on telling his life story to one of these good listeners some day.

Given my horizontal attitude, Bobbit thought I was just such a corpse, and proceeded to try and sling me over his shoulder to take me home. Being fresh out of ghoul repellent, I was in a certain amount of trouble.
How did I get out of it?

 

[hypatia]

OMG you up-chucked on the Bobbit! Its a great natural defense, I know I would drop you in a heartbeat.
Fall arrived today, yet caught me oddly unprepared. I am freezing! Can I send it back for a few weeks?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Fall arrived today, yet caught me oddly unprepared. I am freezing! Can I send it back for a few weeks?

I don't see why not. You're only tinkering with a delicate world-wide weather system. What's the big deal?

Once, on Halloween, when I was crawling on all fours toward a Dunkin' Donuts with several Maine lobsters dressed as the B-52's attached to my trouser legs by their claws, I wondered if I should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas, but no one would really have recognised a T.S. Eliot costume, so I was content to be whatever it was this getup amounted to, when all of a sudden Bobbit, The Shark Footed Ghoul stepped from behind a tree and blocked my path, like some ghoulish, shark-footed path-blocker, and asked: "Is them lobstas dead?" "No," I replied, tremulously, "they just haven't made a new album in a while." "OK, then," he replied, and hobbled on his shark feet off into the dark night. And as he receeded from my view I wondered aloud: "What's that on your head?"

 

[hypatia]

Some chick at the party baited the punch bowl with chum, hopeing to get "lucky". Thats why he is sometimes known as Bobbit the Chum Head.

So I'm think'en, instead of sending fall back, I will just steal the Aussies springtime! If we call them the Land down under, why don't they call us the Land up over?