Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[Cosmo16]

Jiff is the creamist because, seceretly, they do not actually use peanuts!

Who is responsible for ending this conspirisy of epic proportions!

 

[coffee na lang dear]

who cares!

what's the difference between conspirisy and conspiracy?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Who is responsible for ending this conspirisy of epic proportions!

This conspirisy, of epic proportions, was ended by Mrs. Bertha Washington, of, coincidently, Washington. D.C. U.S.A., one day last month when she cracked into the D.O.D. computer base by complete accident while trying to access a website that had come to her attention for it's spectacular promises of a free, revolutionary formula, that anyone can make in their own kitchen, for cleaning drapes. She was exited. She typed fast and sloppy. She ended up at the DOD. Confused, she hit delete, and in the blink of an eye, an astonishing amount of critical conspirisy data was recycled into showtune lyrics.

Are you going to eat that or just play with it?

 

[coffee na lang dear]

just want to play zoob...

can somebody tell me if gumshoe have sizes?

 

[zoobyshoe]

can somebody tell me if gumshoe have sizes?

Yes, someone could tell you.


What would they say?

 

[coffee na lang dear]

errr...size 6? hahahha

d' you think it will fit?

 

[Just some guy]

Yes, but only if they want to fit

How many meese am I permitted to hunt in the Andorran hunting season?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How many meese am I permitted to hunt in the Andorran hunting season?

No, you're confused. The Andorran hunting season is for the meese to hunt you.

Say, I'm trying to sleep. Can't you turn your headlights off?

 

[MSI]

dude , you are sleeping in the wrong place !

what is the difference between a mad cow and a mad cat ?

 

[Townsend]

what is the difference between a mad cow and a mad cat ?

None at all. A mad cow is a mad cat...

Which way is up?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Which way is up?

I'm afraid we can't just release that information willy nilly to any random quetioner who come along. Please fill out the form on page 76 of the application booklet #26-17-234C, Appeals For Orientation, and submit it, with your check, money order, or credit card info (US fee: $327.00) before the deadline date for your state and county (see table on page 65 of the pamphlet #98-21-23-554G, Filing Deadlines For Appeals For Orientations For Your State And County.

Did you fill this form out yourself?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Did you fill this form out yourself?

I'm sure he did. The filling out of this form became such an time-consuming endeavor that he found it necessary to have himself banned from PF just to ensure that he had enough time to complete it before the deadline.

And speaking of time-consuming things - damn this periodic table! I'll never remember it all. Why can't they just arrange the elements alphabetically? That would make much more sense!

 

[zoobyshoe]

Why can't they just arrange the elements alphabetically?

They've tried many time but it turned out not to be possible to teach any of the elements the alphabet.

Hey, I'm trying to post here! Could you get that security alert out of the way?

 

[jimmie]

Could you get that security alert out of the way?

Brutus, step aside.

Does that stairway go upstairs? And if yes, how do I go downstairs after I go upstairs?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Does that stairway go upstairs?

No one knows. Unsolved Mysteries once did an episode about that stairway. It used to go in the Winchester House but it was removed and moved, Then moved again. We could speak of that latter instance as a re-moval, but not a removal.


Couldn't we?

 

[jimmie]

A former ladder-maker man I used to know, a cousin three steps removed, would have been happy to remove himself from work to discuss the latter topic with you, and I am sure he would have found it moving.

However, he re-moved himself from being a ladder-maker so he could move and become a vegetable-grower, giving him more time to discuss the latter farmer instance rather than the former ladder instance, which I find moving.

Which reminds me, how many steps are there in the 12-step program for my cousin that is three steps removed?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Which reminds me, how many steps are there in the 12-step program for my cousin that is three steps removed?

Well, the steps in 12 step programs for people trying to remove themselves from habitual laddering are referred to as "rungs" and there are just enough of them. That is: there are plenty.

Recently when I tried to print out a page of information about a new, interesting digital product, what emerged from the printer instead was one of Wolram's slippers. How do you suppose that happened?

 

[QueenFisher]

the hamster did it.

what's the point in Daylight Saving Time? we don't actually gain any time at all

 

[matthyaouw]

I means it gets light before 10am if you are Scottish. I deeply suspect that the main reason however is to confuse people and make it near impossible to figure out when to go and wait for your taxi when leaving a nighclub at around 2 or 3am.

Why do greengrocers write prices on the side of pumpkins in permanent marker, when they know you are only going to use them for display purposes?

 

[EnumaElish]

I will write some cursory answer so I get to ask my really, really stupid question: "because that's the only kind of labeling on Halloween pumpkins acceptable to the Office of Grocery Greens, Labels and Writing Instruments, a regulatory body also known as OfGrog."

When people shorten their names, what happens to the extra letters? When Thomas becomes Tom, where does h, a, and s each go? When Elizabeth becomes Lib, who takes in E, z, a, e, t, h?

 

[Math Is Hard]

I will write some cursory answer so I get to ask my really, really stupid question: "because that's the only kind of labeling on Halloween pumpkins acceptable to the Office of Grocery Greens, Labels and Writing Instruments, a regulatory body also known as OfGrog."
When people shorten their names, what happens to the extra letters? When Thomas becomes Tom, where does h, a, and s each go? When Elizabeth becomes Lib, who takes in E, z, a, e, t, h?

These letters go to people named Sha and Theeza, who live in the Tined
Teats of Cameri, a poor-third world nation that cannot afford letters and must rely of the generosity of donations from other people around the world.

If a raccoon bites you and it doesn't have rabies is there still a chance you might turn into a vampire raccoon? or would you become a were-raccoon?

 

[coffee na lang dear]

Try to look em in the Lost & Found section dear.

What does a nickel say to a penny?

 

[jimmie]

What does a nickel say to a penny?

I've got more common sense than you.

Why did the guy at Chrysler dodge the question about why he could not afford more ram in the computer that determines how GM food affects people with children in Lincoln, NB that want to buy toy yodas?

 

[EnumaElish]

Because if it hadn't happened exactly like you described, then a woman in Beijing would have to duck a question about her inability to stuff more goat cheese in the dish she had prepared, thus having to use GM food that had the nota bene

No genetic materials were used in the
making of this food stuff, honest, a be-
lief that you will have to live with.

printed on a side panel of its packaging.

Within the set of all possible answers to a question, are stupid answers a dense subset?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Within the set of all possible answers to a question, are stupid answers a dense subset?

I will write some cursory answer so I get to ask my really, really stupid question: "because that's the only kind of labeling on Halloween pumpkins acceptable to the Office of Grocery Greens, Labels and Writing Instruments, a regulatory body also known as OfGrog."

Once when I was repelling down a particularly steep cliff somewhere in the Pamirs in some exceptionally bitter cold weather, I happened to notice that there was some sort of tiny sherpa-like character strolling up the cliff near me without the benefit of any ropes or other rock climbing equipment. He was about 7 inches tall, and was walking straight up the cliff in an outright horizontal attitude. I beckoned him over to me wanting to ask how he did it, but he put his hand to his mouth and shouted "Nope! I'm happy with my present telephone service, thank you very much!" It occurred to me then, that he must be psychotic and hallucinating from exposure, and saw me as some sort of large telephone. So I shouted back "I'm not a telephone!"

"That's what every telephone thinks!" he replied, and scurried quickly up, out of earshot. "Well" I mused to myself as I paused to dump some shavings out, "It's a sad state of affairs when a 7 inch sherpa can't tell a telephone from an electric pencil sharpener," and I continued to descend the rock face, hoping to make it to the wall socket I could see several hundred feet down where I could plug myself in for the night.

How was he walking up the cliff like that?

 

[hypatia]

It was his magnatron boots, if you would of looked closer he was only stepping on the iron rich stones.

We had a giant wind storm, and all the leaves that I failed to rake, danced like so many insane pixies, befor swooshing up to the sky and vanishing.
Were they dancing a Box Trott or a Waltz?

 

[Kazza_765]

Neither, the leaves actually blew to your house all the way from Cuba, they were dancing a rumba.

Why were the leaves so desperate to leave Cuba?

 

[Erzeon]

They were being fired at with missiles.

Whats 987654321 x 0 ?

 

[jimmie]

The length and width dimensions, in inches, of the chinese alphabet.

After Acme Corporation added a new CEO to its widget division, why did sales multiply in minus zero temperatures?

 

[tribdog]

What else would you expect sales of widgets to multiply in plus zero temperatures? I hardly think so. so the answer is of course: bran.

If a raccoon bites you and it doesn't have rabies is there still a chance you might turn into a vampire raccoon? or would you become a were-raccoon?

 

[jimmie]

There is a small, remote chance of turning into a were-raccoon. However, they are not called "were-raccoons"; they are called "pandas".

If you knew what time it is, could you tell me what time it is?

 

[hypatia]

No, I couldn't.

Speaking of time, how is it that it stands still and flys?

 

[jimmie]

It doesn't stand still, or fly; it's just an optical illusion that depends upon internal perception.

Speaking of internal optical perceptions, did you hear the joke about the pedestrian that was too chicken to cross the road?

 

[Kazza_765]

No, but I did hear the joke about the chicken that was too pedestrian to cross the road.

Where did I leave my wallet? I really can't find it, been looking for over an hour now.

 

[ChronicQuantumAddict]

the secret mirror

I have it in my sock drawer, i'll give it to you for 5 bucks ;o)

Why does a mirror only reflect an image backwards from side-to-side, but not up and down?