Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[ChronicQuantumAddict]

There is a small, remote chance of turning into a were-raccoon. However, they are not called "were-raccoons"; they are called "pandas".
If you knew what time it is, could you tell me what time it is?

by the way, if i told u the time it would no longer be that time, and hence, i would have to tell u the time for an infinite amount of time, but that would take too much time...

 

[Kazza_765]

Because mirrors have chronic dyslexia.

Who's face do I see when I look in the mirror?

 

[hypatia]

You must see me, cause I'm in every mirror I look at.

Are all bloggers boreing, or do they blog because they are bored?

 

[jimmie]

Why does a mirror only reflect an image backwards from side-to-side, but not up and down?

It does, but you got to tilt your head.

Speaking of reflections, can you remember the good ole days?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Are all bloggers boreing, or do they blog because they are bored?

They are all boring and bored, but that's not the reason they blog. They blog in order not to waste a semester of typing lessons.

Recently, or perhaps even earlier than that, a message appeared on my screen informing me that Windows xp cannot open files written in Chirplinger. This was a surprise, since I wasn't aware I was trying to do such a thing. What is Chirplinger and who uses it?

 

[hypatia]

Chirplinger..the silent scripting scream of a PC mouse when its full of dust bunnies.
Just how many times will I go to the kitchen to get coffee and come back to the "puter room to find I have left it in the kitchen...hint...its 3 times already

 

[tribdog]

at least one more time

how much therd will it take to sew scott1s mouth shut?

 

[dgoodpasture2005]

This is post 2529

 

[jimmie]

This is post 2529

uhhh...maybe in Newfoundland, but here at PF, THIS is post 2529.

So, dgoodpasture2005, you posted the Yin, where's the Yang?

 

[The Bob]

uhhh...maybe in Newfoundland, but here at PF, THIS is post 2529.

So, dgoodpasture2005, you posted the Yin, where's the Yang?

I don't know where it has gone but why do I have to type in the quick reply to get a quote?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[EnumaElish]

To be quotable you have to be NotAble.

What is the one most defining experience that made you who you are?

 

[Cosmo16]

What is the one most defining experience that made you who you are?

When I was born.

How do you know if you were ever actually born?

 

[Carla1]

When I was born.
How do you know if you were ever actually born?

You're here to ask the question.

How do you know if you have asked the question?

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

How do you know if you have asked the question?

Someone puts it in quote tags and posts it back to you.

But if someone quotes you as asking a question you didn't ask, how would you know you didn't ask it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

But if someone quotes you as asking a question you didn't ask, how would you know you didn't ask it?

You would have to peform a DNA test.

But if the DNA test proved you had written a post you couldn't recall having written, would that mean the post had been fertilized by sperm stolen by gray space aliens?

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

But if the DNA test proved you had written a post you couldn't recall having written, would that mean the post had been fertilized by sperm stolen by gray space aliens?

Who else would be responsible for the new-look Physics Forum? Think about it. They've integrated themselves among us, changed our habitat to resemble their mothership and no doubt are reformatting our atmosphere as we speak, and are now busy quoting us as saying things we never did with the soul aim of stealing our sperm to prove we did say those things with which they will then impregnate the alien queen and form a new race of Thread Killers!

But then how can- hang on, is this me or you?

 

[zoobyshoe]

But then how can- hang on, is this me or you?

It is I: MoDean.
(on a you eff oh)

Is that you, MoDean?

 

[Blahness]

But maybe he THOUGHT it was a stupid question...
And your answer is not stupid ;_;. STUPID UN-STUPID ANSWERS!



Why do kids get so excited near christmas, when some fat guy empties his sack in their stockings?

 

[enlil]

ok,here comes the stuped one:
Why do people tend to give presents they would actualy like to get for Christmass?!

Hope that was stupid enough..

 

[Mk]

ok,here comes the stuped one:
Why do people tend to give presents they would actualy like to get for Christmass?!:

Because they're idiots?

Who wants some Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper with a lemon twist?

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Because they're idiots?
Who wants some Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper with a lemon twist?

Sure, but hold the cherry and the vanilla and the pepper and the lemon. And the twist. And the diet. Just get me a doctor. I'm not a well man.

Why, contrary to Mk's post, is there no period in "Dr Pepper"?

 

[turbo]

Sure, but hold the cherry and the vanilla and the pepper and the lemon. And the twist. And the diet. Just get me a doctor. I'm not a well man.
Why, contrary to Mk's post, is there no period in "Dr Pepper"?

The name is pointless.

If all quizzes are tests, and some quizzes are quizzical, are some tests testicles?

 

[Danger]

No, but paternity tests are related.

Can a guy force woman to take a maternity test if he doesn't know who the mother of his baby is?

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Can a guy force woman to take a maternity test if he doesn't know who the mother of his baby is?

No, equal rights means that he can only force her to take a paternity test.

Is it wrong in this day and age that only women have breasts? I mean, get with the times people!

 

[turbo]

Is it wrong in this day and age that only women have breasts? I mean, get with the times people!

Good advice. I understand the health insurance at the Times covers that procedure.

My neighbor recently bought a "hot water heater". I have a tank-y thing in my cellar that heats up the cold water and it's good enough for me. Is he just another rich yuppie showing up the neighbors?

 

[zoobyshoe]

My neighbor recently bought a "hot water heater". I have a tank-y thing in my cellar that heats up the cold water and it's good enough for me. Is he just another rich yuppie showing up the neighbors?

Yeah, heating hot water. There's something incredibly lazy about it.

Recently when I was camped out on day three of my wait in an Emergency Room with yellow matter custard dripping from some kind of sinus infection I was startled into near ecstasy to hear my name called, a miracle which meant that the four hours of paperwork preliminary to becoming an official patient in waiting there was about to begin. As I crawled on all fours to the glass window, the room began swimming and swirling around me, I felt the blood leave my head, and just before I lost consciousness I'm positive I heard someone say "Hey, he don't look so good. Sumbuddy call a amulance!"

Firefox or Opera?

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Recently when I was camped out on day three of my wait in an Emergency Room with yellow matter custard dripping from some kind of sinus infection I was startled into near ecstasy to hear my name called, a miracle which meant that the four hours of paperwork preliminary to becoming an official patient in waiting there was about to begin. As I crawled on all fours to the glass window, the room began swimming and swirling around me, I felt the blood leave my head, and just before I lost consciousness I'm positive I heard someone say "Hey, he don't look so good. Sumbuddy call a amulance!"

Firefox or Opera?

Or newly announced: Firefox the opera!

Madame Butterfly is playing Sydney Opera House when I'm there. So got tickets. Fair play, she must be really old. How long has she been performing now?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How long has she been performing now?

Some estimates are as high as 135 years, but most agree that figure is impossible. Mrs. Butterfly, herself, is typically silent on the subject, and has treated requests to carbon date her as beneath her dignity.

Why do you want to pin me to a piece of cardboard on this? Isn't a lady's age, like her opinions, subject to constant revision?

 

[turbo]

Or newly announced: Firefox the opera!
Madame Butterfly is playing Sydney Opera House when I'm there. So got tickets. Fair play, she must be really old. How long has she been performing now?

I don't think you can pin her down on this one.

Paper or plastic?

 

[Livingod]

Paper, we still have many rainforests to get rid of.

Would you like to be able to teleport, or read people's minds?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I don't think you can pin her down on this one.
Paper or plastic?

Turbo, please don't anser quetions that have already been anserd. Anser the next quetion posed

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Why do you want to pin me to a piece of cardboard on this? Isn't a lady's age, like her opinions, subject to constant revision?

Yes, a lady's, indeed anyone's, age is constantly revised in a process known as the "passage of time", the antithesis of which is "preservation".

Now, Madame Butterfly, have you met Monsieur Killing Germ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Now, Madame Butterfly, have you met Monsieur Killing Germ?

I don't believe she has, but I bet she's fluttered away from Monsieur Killing Jar once or twice.

Recently when I was typing up the story of my latest encounter with the undead for a small tabloid to which I occasionally submit such adventures for a small remuneration, I was startled to find the words begin to appear on the screen without any imput on my part to the keyboard. At about the same time I noticed, due to an open window, (the actual physical kind) that nothing outside was making a sound. Peering out, I saw that the whole sky above was blocked out by nothing less than one of those black, flying, Bermuda triangles you hear so much about. Suddenly, my car battery went dead. I'm not sure how I knew that, since it wasn't running at the time, but it seems you can always just sense these things, doesn't it?

It was clear to me, too, that despite my vicadin/banana brandy diet of the preceeding four days, and my recently escalated practice of banging myself on the head with a small, easily handled piece of 2x4 lumber to help me concentrate, that all these phenomena were "the real thing". You can just sense these things.

Tearing my clothes off, I rushed out into the street pointed to the flying, black, Bermuda triangle above, and began shouting "They're here! They're here!" This turned out to be harder to explain to the police officers who showed up than you'd expect. They pretended to be in denial about the thing in the sky, and refused to acknowledge it.

Anyway, which one of you called them?

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

Recently when I was typing up the story of my latest encounter with the undead for a small tabloid to which I occasionally submit such adventures for a small remuneration, I was startled to find the words begin to appear on the screen without any imput on my part to the keyboard. At about the same time I noticed, due to an open window, (the actual physical kind) that nothing outside was making a sound. Peering out, I saw that the whole sky above was blocked out by nothing less than one of those black, flying, Bermuda triangles you hear so much about. Suddenly, my car battery went dead. I'm not sure how I knew that, since it wasn't running at the time, but it seems you can always just sense these things, doesn't it?
It was clear to me, too, that despite my vicadin/banana brandy diet of the preceeding four days, and my recently escalated practice of banging myself on the head with a small, easily handled piece of 2x4 lumber to help me concentrate, that all these phenomena were "the real thing". You can just sense these things.
Tearing my clothes off, I rushed out into the street pointed to the flying, black, Bermuda triangle above, and began shouting "They're here! They're here!" This turned out to be harder to explain to the police officers who showed up than you'd expect. They pretended to be in denial about the thing in the sky, and refused to acknowledge it.
Anyway, which one of you called them?

That's peculiar. I was sitting at my desk recently typing up my story about a brown shag rug that attacks people and eats them for publication in a popular sci-fi/fantasy magazine. I was writing into the wee hours, sustaining my imagination and staving off sleep with a constant supply of coffee. I was wondering if anything like my story could happen in real life when suddenly I heard a scream of "They're here! They're here!" outside my window. It was hard to make out the figure standing out in the street at first due to the late hour but I did notice that the figure was wearing triangular-shaped sunglasses for no discernable reason. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I at first thought the figure was a particularly hairy naked man, but as they adjusted further I realized that no-one could be that hairy. I looked at my typewriter, looked again at the screaming figure outside, and I knew. That story wasn't fiction. The brown shag rug was real and attacking someone in front of my very eyes. I called the police and explained the situation, but then a funny thing happened.

As I downed the last of my now-cold cup of coffee, the room suddenly became brighter, as if illuminated only by the tiny little sparkles that now surrounded me. I felt weightless, as if I was being lifted from the floor by some force. I looked down at my type writer. All of a sudden, the little letters I had typed started to move, first one, then another, then gradually all of them - they were dancing and singing and it was so captivating I started to join in with my penny whistle. The letters followed me out of my room, down the stairs, out of the door and down the street, and with a click of my heels we went over the hill and far away.

And when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Which of you basts nabbed it?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Which of you basts nabbed it?

The pillow was abstracted from your dwelling by three Men-In-Black who were to deliver it to Area 51 here by 3 A.M. for extensive testing. We're interested in the effect certain new mineral fibers recently brought back from an asteroid found in Antarctica have on people's psyche. As a side project we wanted to see if they might have any effect on your cloak of invisibility: a handful of those fibers was surreptitiously stuffed into your pillow several weeks ago. Now we want them back. (If you happen to have drooled on them in your sleep you will have released a rather interesting gas. I'll wager rechecking the number of your toes will reveal something amusing.)

So, is El Hombre Invisible, now visible?