Collection of Lame Jokes

[YoungPhysicist]

Nope. Translated from a German joke site. Unfortunately most of their puns are playing with language and cannot be translated.

Speaking of language jokes, how about this one:

Why six is afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.(This can't be translated to any other non-english languages,which is a great lost)

 

[YoungPhysicist]

A brush brushes,
A comb combs,
But why doesn't a sink sinks?

 

[phinds]

A brush brushes,
A comb combs,
But why doesn't a sink sinks?

For the same reason we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway

 

[Ibix]

But why doesn't a sink sinks?

It probably will if you drop it in water. Especially if you leave the plug out.

 

[Ibix]

For the same reason we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway

And the same reason trains stop in a train station, buses stop at a bus station, and I have a work station in my office.

 

[YoungPhysicist]

and I have a work station in my office.

Well, You stop to work

 

[Ibix]

Well, You stop to work

That's what I tell my boss, anyway.

 

[Stavros Kiri]

A brush brushes,
A comb combs, ...

You mean they brush and comb just by themselves? Hmmm! I haven't seen that ...
[We (etc.) brush (with the brush) ... We comb ... etc.]

 

[YoungPhysicist]

You mean they brush and comb just by themselves? Hmmm! I haven't seen that ...
[We (etc.) brush (with the brush) ... We comb ... etc.]

Yeah, I do mean "brush with a brush"...but definitely not "sink with a sink"

 

[YoungPhysicist]

Assume

• 1 = 4
• 2 = 5
• 3 = 6

Then what will 4 equal to? Well, 1

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Yeah, I do mean "brush with a brush"...but definitely not "sink with a sink"

Well it's usually heavy, so if you hug it it will take you underwater! ...

[But then, again, not if it's well mounted ...]

 

[YoungPhysicist]

Well it's usually heavy, so if you hug it it will take you underwater! ...

Well, that’s basically true...but in a flood occurred in south Taiwan a few days ago, a few of them did float on water on the street, which I saw it on tv.(which is an obvious exception to normal conditions)

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Well, that’s basically true...but in a flood occurred in south Taiwan a few days ago, a few of them did float on water on the street, which I saw it on tv.(which is a obvious exception to normal conditions)

Lol. Some sinks don't sink then ...

 

[YoungPhysicist]

Regarding to the he one, I decided to make an l one:

I can do many things

I can’t save you from a nuclear bomb,
but I can save you after it.

I can't disappear
but I can sublimate.

I can’t heal your mind,
but I can heal your wound.

I can become a liquid,
but not many people knows it.

I am purple.
I am useful
Iodine.

 

[fresh_42]

I sink a sink sinks. And sometimes it stinks, too.

 

[YoungPhysicist]

I sink a sink sinks. And sometimes it stinks, too.

Ha. Tounge twister

 

[mjc123]

According to Chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

To be pedantic, according to chemistry, alcohol is a pure compound. Booze is a solution.

 

[fresh_42]

"Dad, I consider a career in organized crime."
"Government or finance?"

 

[CWatters]

Man walk into a bar and sees a girl dancing on a table.
He walks up and says to her "Wow, great legs".
"Oh, do you think so?" she replies.
"Oh yes," he says "They must be made of good strong oak or they would have broken by now".

 

[davenn]

"Dad, I consider a career in organized crime."
"Government or finance?"

hahaha

 

[davenn]

whistling that ol' tune

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

"Dad, I consider a career in organized crime."
"Government or finance?"

It reminds me of a movie with a father who was proud of his son who was studying in Italy; son told him he was specializing in Banks. When the father visited him unexpectedly, to his surprize realized that the son had forgotten to mention "Robbing ..." ...

 

[jtbell]

What did Sancho Panza call his beast of burden?

Donkey Hotay.

 

[Ibix]

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

I doubt this, projecting from the number of things I still seem to learn the hard way in my forties...

 

[Ibix]

What did Sancho Panza call his beast of burden?

Donkey Hotay.

I visited a windmill in York, and they had a poster with a sketch of Quijote on horseback charging a windmill, with a big red circle and diagonal bar over the top...

 

[jack action]

I visited a windmill in York, and they had a poster with a sketch of Quijote on horseback charging a windmill, with a big red circle and diagonal bar over the top...

Well, I had to see that:

 

[jtbell]

Oh... York in the UK, not York in Pennsylvania. I'm pretty sure there are no windmills in York, South Carolina, because I drive through there occasionally.

That pun popped into my mind because I've been ripping a big box set of CDs and scanning the album covers, including this one, which ironically doesn't seem to include Sancho Panza. Maybe he's the shadowy figure to the left of the Don.

 

[Ibix]

Oh... York in the UK

Yup. This is its website: https://www.holgatewindmill.org/ It's fairly unusual, as I understand it, in having five sails.

 

[Ibix]

Well, I had to see that:

View attachment 230247​

I see the poster has been doing the rounds of windmill owners everywhere...

 

[davenn]

I doubt this, projecting from the number of things I still seem to learn the hard way in my forties...

just wait for another 20 - 30 yrs

 

[Ibix]

just wait for another 20 - 30 yrs

...then I'll find out the hard way that I'm wrong?

 

[WWGD]

New PF feature (with AI , I guess) : every post of mine that remotely resembles a joke is automatically moved to this forum. Just to save time.

 

[fresh_42]

New PF feature (with AI , I guess) : every post of mine that remotely resembles a joke is automatically moved to this forum. Just to save time.

AI? No way, far too many false positive results

 

[fresh_42]

Massless particles travel at light speed.

Spoiler

Particles with mass at heavy speed.